Author's Note: This is my final Avatar: the Last Airbender fanfic (part one of ten). I thank everyone who, for the past three years, have read my stories, helped me write them, review them, and critique them. Lyrics belong to Linkin Park. I do not own Avatar: the Last Airbender.

Mercy

daydream11

May 30, 2009

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mercy

noun

1. compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy

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010. Challenge

"I don't think your problem is not that you don't love, but that you don't know how to." She glanced up, tired and wary, but his blue eyes were earnest. "I bet if you had grown up in another place in another family, you'd be a lot better off." She blew air out from between her teeth, listening as it whistled through the air.

"And what makes you so sure of this?"

He shrugged. "Because I know enough to realize that hate is taught and nurtured. A person doesn't hate on her own, not completely. Hate has to start somewhere, and it has to feed upon something, and I doubt it started and ended with you alone."

"Oh?"

"Yep."

"Do you plan on doing anything about it?"

She d searched his face, looking for any reason – any reason at all – to help her understand why in Agni's name this man was even bothering her.

"I plan to figure it out."

She closed her eyes and leaned back onto the wall, deflating into it. "What if I don't let you figure out? What if you can't?"

When she opened her eyes she found him nearby, even more in the room than he was before. His gaze didn't leave hers.

"I enjoy challenges."

040. Love

The dark ends held a dull sheen; they shone a bloody ruby red as they caught in the thin stream of light. She opened her eyes and glanced at the older brother she had always hated, always envied.

She flinched as he bend down, smooth hands cradling her filthy face, and choked back a growl as his lips pressed against her cheek.

"I still love you, Azula," he said, words low and steady.

Her hair – long now, would be longer still if it were clean and combed – fell over her face as he released her, leaving as quickly as he had arrived.

008. Liar

Liar?

It was their own fault. They should have remembered that the truth behind her words was hidden deep beneath the surface; maybe they should have remembered not to take her words at face value. She could only remember lying four times, once to Ty Lee as she retrieved her from the circus and once to her father when she returned home from Ba Sing Se. Everyone deserved to lie at least four times, surely. If luring Zuko onto a ship could be taken as lying, then Zuko should be rightfully labeled as dense for believing that his father wanted him home for love – and not to lock him away so that the rest of the royal family wouldn't be shamed by his antics. (See? Ozai did care for his kin.) And if dressing up as Earth Kingdom warriors was lying, then what was the Avatar doing acting as a Fire Nation schoolboy? It was the same thing; there really wasn't anything different between the two. She figured that didn't count, that both of those instances canceled each other out. Two lies for a truth.

She told the psychiatrist as much, and the pitying look he gave her was all of the answer she needed.

"Azula, from the information I have received from your family and acquaintances, most notably Firelord Zuko, Princess Ursa, and General Iroh, you were an untrustworthy and devious child."

She turned to him and stared. He continued on:

"And quite frankly, I have come to the conclusion that you have deceived yourself into believing yourself an honest person."

He cleared his throat. "It is unfortunate, princess, that you continue on with the notion that your actions are justified and reasonably explained."

The doctor stopped then, glancing over his notes. "Do you – do you have anything you would like to add, Princess Azula?"

She nodded. "I am not a liar."

"Princess Azula, I am obliged to report your progress to Firelord Zuko."

"I'm not a liar."

One day he'll believe her.

"I am positive that with many more sessions, we'll reach a breakthrough."

One of these days they'll realize how much of the truth she told.

"I would like you to write an entry in your journal tonight, Princess Azula, about honesty."

The third time she lied was to her own self.

"Perhaps adding something about your brother and mother would be beneficial, don't you agree?"

She had convinced herself that her relationship with her mother didn't need to be positive, that she could happily live without the maternal blessings a mother bestowed upon her daughter.

"Next time we meet, I'd like to talk to you about your family. There is much to be said, and I believe that we have not figured everything out yet. Princess Ursa played a large role in your life, yes?"

Azula knew that she should have taken her own advice, repeated to herself what she had just told her doctor. She should have remembered to delve deeper, tell herself the real reason why she and her mother didn't get along, why they found it hard to love each other.

"There are things even you don't know about yourself, Princess Azula. I'm here to help you discover them." He stood up and bowed to her. She found herself alone in the chilly room with only the aroma of incense to keep her company. Her mother entered in only moments after the doctor left. Ursa sat beside her, enveloping Azula's hand into her own.

"We're going to get to know each other. We may not have had a positive relationship during your childhood, but I'm here now and I want to fix this."

Azula nodded. "I do, too."

Liar.

043. Gentle

She had been four. He had just turned six. It was her first trip away from the royal city, her first trip to Ember Island. There she had spent long days in the sun, running around barefoot in loose tunics. The two of them had raced from their home to the beach, crashing through the forest until they burst onto the shore, kicking up sand and startling the grown-ups. She had tripped over a fallen net and landed into the sand, getting the miniscule pieces into her eyes and ears and mouth. Wailing, her hands brushed over her face in a futile attempt to rid herself of the irritation. Hearing her, he had rushed to her side and stilled her hands, ordering her to open her eyes. With a clean hand he carefully picked each particle out and brushed her tongue and bent her head over to each side so that the sand would fall out of her ears.

"Is she okay?" A frantic Ursa rushed toward them, kneeling by Azula and inspecting her.

"I'm fine," she answered, rubbing her eyes. "Zuzu took care of me."

As Ursa turned away to recover the towels and picnic basket she had thrown aside in order to reach her daughter, Azula reached out to Zuko and hugged him.

He kissed her cheek.

"Ew," she whined, wiping her cheek. "Why do you always give me wet kisses?"

020. Peace.

She had wandered into the garden, wishing for a place to be in peace. The day had been long and exhausting, and she was craving for solitude. Zuko insisted on including her in meetings, against her own desire and wishes, and he treated her like the queen she no longer expected to be. If it surprised their nation and the world the people did not express it, and that is what bothered her the most. Did they not remember her crimes?

"Is there anything you ever regret?"

She knew that voice. It was the Avatar's. He stood beside her, sadness and joy radiating off of him in equal measures. She didn't bother to turn toward him. If one were to walk into the garden then behind them, he would admire the sunset, the emerging stars, and two figures cast in silhouette.

"Yes."

The Avatar gazed at her expectantly. Finding that she would not willingly volunteer an answer, he sighed. "It can't be easy being you."

Her eyes strayed toward the pale moon. "Don't give me your pity."

"I wasn't."

"Good." She pulled her hair from off of her neck. "I don't want it."

"The world somehow loves you," he said. She nodded.

"I know."

"I have no idea why."

She glanced at him. The Avatar blushed deeply and quickly turned his gaze back onto the sky, admiring the darkening sky. Her stare, at least, refused to falter. She studied him with intensity.

"Neither do I," she replied.

He took her hand and kissed her cheek and cursed himself for doing so.

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I'll face myself

To cross out

What I've become

Erase myself

And let go of

What I've done


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