Chapter Two
The sun blinded me as I woke up. I rolled over in the foreign bed and when I realized I wasn't in the orphanage I jumped up in surprise and tumbled off the edge of the bed.
Landing on the floor with a thud I stood and rubbed my now soar backside and made my way over to the door. When I saw the back of Sasori's red head everything that happened last night came rushing back, from walking in the snow, to the bridge, I even remembered the hot chocolate, but what I remembered most was Sasori's smile.
For some odd reason I had disillusioned myself into expecting Sasori to turn around with a small but bright smile on his face as he greeted me good morning. Of course in reality I was rudely awakened when he didn't even notice my presence until I was standing right next to him.
"Good morning," I said quietly and somewhat awkwardly.
He didn't look startled nor did he look at me as he continued swirling his cup of whatever he was drinking, "Morning."
I sat down in the chair across from him and sat there for a while. I wasn't quite sure what to say. Saying thanks for letting me stay felt right, but at the same time it felt weird since I had technically saved his life last night, even if he didn't want to be saved.
After some time of silence I was about to open my mouth to say something when an alarm went off on his phone. Sasori set down his cup in the sink and started speaking, "Deidara. If you don't mind I think its best you take your leave, I have some business I have to take care of this morning and I think it would be rude to leave you here all alone."
I blinked, "Oh... oh right yeah. The old man is probably worried about me anyway..." crap yeah, I had completely forgotten about Jiraiya. I'm sure I'll get an earful when I get back.
As Sasori shooed me out the door something compelled me to ask if we could hang out again sometime. I felt as if I was finally getting somewhere with him and I wanted to be his friend for as long as I could, especially if something like last night were to happen again and no one was around to stop him.
It didn't even occur to me to call the police. Well, it didn't briefly, but I was just so focused on his. It's like I was completely convinced that I could somehow safe him even though the more rational part of my brain knew he needed professional help.
"Sasori when can we..." I blurted as he was about to shut the door, it stopped an inch from closing and I lost some of my nerve to ask my intended question, "Can I see you again?" I said simply.
Sasori opened the door just enough to where I could see his face and he blinked, "I'll think about it." The door shut softly, creating a barrier between us and I sighed and began walking home in the now thick snow.
Apparently it had snowed pretty hard last night, there was at least four inches on the ground and the flakes were still coming.
When I walked in I was immediately questioned by Jiraiya, "Where were you Dei? I don't mind you going out for your walks, but the least you could do is come back. Do you know how much Tsunade and I could get in if one of you guys were caught breaking the law or something? Especially with you living where you are. Now I'm not saying you're a bad kid, but you know cops around here these days. They'll look for any excuse to get a kid in trouble."
I shrugged him off, "Sorry I was... helping a friend. I guess I fell asleep at his house yeah."
Jiraiya relaxed some but he continued to talk and follow me as I went up to my room. Jiraiya was a rather chill person in my opinion, but when he was worried he sure as hell showed it.
I was feeling sad from suddenly being cut off from Sasori and I was still somewhat tired so I was hoping a good nap would make me feel better. It was still relatively early, and even the early morning joggers weren't out yet. If I had to go anywhere I should be fine, after all it's not like I was terribly worried about appearance or anything. With my usually ruffled blonde hair and slightly wrinkled clothing.
It wouldn't matter anyway. People forget everything so quickly, and I wasn't one to make a lasting impression.
Jiraiya finally stopped talking when I plopped onto the bed and fell asleep almost instantly.
I was woken up by a buzzing noise. I turned my blurry sleep-filled gaze to the table and grabbed my phone, looking at the screen I saw three unread messages.
The first one was from Konan asking me if I was still coming to her party tonight. The second was from Nagato telling me that I better come to her party tonight (insert an angry emoji here), and the third was from Hidan asking for twenty bucks. I responded all three respectably, and asking Hidan why he needed money this time.
The replies were thanks, good, and the honest answer of pot. I felt some of my better spirits return. My friends always cheered me up whether they were trying to or not.
A thought came to my mind, and I briefly wondered if I could get Sasori to come with by some miracle of fate. Konan sent me a message and I was startled when it buzzed in my lap, "Are you doing the fireworks?"
I smiled and responded with "You know it" before lying back down on top of the comfortable sheets. I kept thinking about Sasori again. At first thought the idea seemed brilliant, it was going to be a small party, we all knew each other, we all knew Sasori, well we didn't know him, know him, we just kind of knew who he was. Either way, my friends were all welcoming so I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be too awkward for him.
Hmm, but how do I contact him? I knew where he lived sure, but turning up at his house randomly would feel kind of weird. A sudden though ran through my mind and I was worried that if I did go over, I'd somehow get inside and find him dying in his bathroom or something worse. I decided to call Konan for her advice and also if Sasori would even be welcomed. I mean I'm sure he would be, but it was Konan's birthday so I wasn't sure if she wanted a random person there with us.
She picked up after a couple of rings, "Hey Deidara what's up?"
"Hi Konan, could I ask you something yeah?"
I heard some rustling on the phone as she shuffled around most likely to get comfortable, "Of course. That's what I'm here for."
I hesitated for a moment, tugging on my bangs, "Would it be okay if I... um..."
"If what? Is everything okay Deidara?"
I shook my head even though no one was around to see it, "No everything's fine I just... I wanted to know if I could bring an extra person yeah."
Form the tone in her voice he could tell she was smiling, "Of course Dei, the more the merrier right? As long as you don't bring a huge crowd. I don't want to clean up the mess!" she joked.
I laughed nervously, "I wouldn't do that yeah... it's just one person."
"Who is it if you don't mind me asking?"
I gulped and pulled my bangs, "Well I was thinking of maybe... asking... um... I mean we all know him yeah." I don't know why, but I suddenly felt self-conscious saying his name. As if it were a sin or something.
"Sasori?" she said blatantly.
I blanched, "Is it that obvious?"
Konan laughed, "You talk about him a lot man. Anyway if you can get him here then he's perfectly welcome to stay. Ah crap look at the time, I have to go now and start getting ready, but call me if you need anything else alright?"
"I will, thank you Konan yeah," we hung up and I shifted onto my side again. I felt better consulting with Konan, but I was unsure if I should even attempt to get Sasori to come. He would just refuse wouldn't he? He might even slam the door in my face who knows.
I began to gnaw furiously at my untrimmed nails out of nervousness. I tossed around on my bed as I tried to think of a way to get Sasori to come to the party with me tonight.
As I was lost in thought someone knocked on my bedroom door, "Deidara someone's looking for you," it was Jiraiya.
"Who is it?"
"A young fella, maybe your age, he says you left your jacket at his house."
I slapped a hand to my forehead and groaned, no wonder I was so cold this morning, but how did Sasori find his way here?
I went down the staircase and saw aforementioned red-head standing in the foyer with my jacket in his hand, "You left this on my coat rack. I found it when I came back."
I took it and hung it back where it belonged. I suddenly felt so relieved that he was alive and standing here. It didn't even occur to me until just now that he could've done something as soon as I'd left. I'm such an idiot.
I tried to seem calm and collected but I think he could tell by my shaking hands, "Thanks yeah, but how did you know I was here?"
"There was an address sown into the hem of the jacket," I nodded in thanks and he was about to let himself out. I felt the chance of asking him to the party slip away, but before it was completely gone I reached out and grabbed his wrist lightly.
"Um Sasori yeah?"
He turned his head in mild surprise, "What?"
"Would you... would you like to go to a party with me tonight? It'll be a small one nothing big, no big crowds it'll just like nine of us if you come. Please Sasori?" I pulled out my puppy dog eyes, well eye, and hoped he would say yes, or at least consider.
He stared at me for a moment and responded with a soft, "No," before starting to walk out the door. In a panic I rushed after him.
"Sasori please?" he didn't say anything and I stopped following him when we reached the gates. As he walked down the road I shouted the time and place, "It's at four yeah! And it'll be at Konan's house, she lives right next to that ice cream shop in town, she has a copper metal rooftop and a wooden fence! Please Sasori yeah!" by then his image was gone and he blended in with the wind and snow.
I huffed and went back inside. Sparing a glance at the time I ran up the stairs and got my things. It was currently one forty and it took a good half an hour to walk there, plus I needed to get the fireworks set up beforehand and make sure everything was working. I grabbed the gift I got her and texted her that I was on my way before rushing out the door.
Snow slapped me in the face as I speed walked to keep warm, I had a duffle bag slung over my shoulder and it was rather heavy and it only seemed to weigh even more with each step.
I knocked on Konan's door and when she answered I stumbled in out of breath yet still freezing.
"You're here earlier than I expected," she said surprised.
I nodded and stole a glance at the time, it was only two thirty nine now. It had taken longer than usual with all the snow. I leaned against the railing for support as I steadied my breathing. Trudging through the slush and ice had taken a bigger toll on me then I thought. Especially with forty or so pounds of shit weighing you down.
Konan gently took the bag away from me and we went to her kitchen and relaxed for a few minutes. When I finally caught my breath I was able to tell her what was going on, "You wanted me to do the fireworks remember? I had to come early and you know I'm not exactly a... professional, and that I don't have all the right equipment yeah, so I have to triple check every little detail so I don't get a repeat of… you know what."
I was referring to my eye, it was the one time I didn't double check the connections due to my cockiness. When the wires are still attached two will go off and I had been standing near one of them since I have to light them all off by hand without that fancy switchboard professionals used.
Konan nodded in understanding and she let me do what needed to be done. I put her gift on a table she had by the door and went outside to start setting up when she came by and decided to talk for a little bit while the cake was cooling as she said. Konan loved to cook, so she and her mom were making her cake together.
Everything looked fairly okay, I'll have to do another couple of checks before the show, but for now I could leave it. I just made sure to wrap the fireworks back up to make sure they didn't get wet from the snow. When all was said and done we went inside and sat in chairs across from one another.
There was a lull in our conversation and she suddenly sent me a sly smirk when I caught her eye, "What?" I asked skeptically.
"Did you get Sasori to come?"
I looked at the ground feeling somewhat embarrassed, "I told him all he needed to know... it's up to him if he shows up yeah."
Konan must have sensed the distress in my voice and she dropped the teasing act, "It's alright Deidara. From the sound of it you managed to have a halfway decent conversation with him, right?" she nodded encouragingly.
I shrugged, "Well... I guess I did, but it was still like talking to a wall yeah," I joked.
Konan let out a small laugh and we talked for a little longer before she had to go back to the kitchen. I decided to check the setup again out of paranoia, and by the time I was done the first guest had arrived.
Big surprise, it was Nagato who walked in first. The three of us talked and ten minutes later Kakuzu dragged in a tired and rather high looking Hidan who ignored us and immediately pulled out a cigarette. Konan shoved him back outside and we continued to talk.
Everyone began to trickle in slowly, Tobi was the last to arrive but he came in with a clown who began making balloon animals for everyone.
"Tobi brought a friend!" he shouted over the music, which wasn't even that loud to begin with.
Konan laughed, "Tobi you know I'm eighteen now right?"
Tobi shrugged and swung his balloon sword around, batting everyone in the head with it. When I thought everyone was present I was surprised when the doorbell rang one last time.
Hidan wasn't inside so I figured it was him asking to be let in again. It was a logical explanation so I went to answer the door since I merely dismissed it as that, but I froze when I saw him standing there instead.
Once getting over my shock I stuttered out a, "You... you came yeah."
Sasori sent me a glance of what seemed to be utter disdain, "So I did."
I stepped aside and Sasori walked in, everyone took a moment to take note of the new arrival but when they all stared too long Konan coughed loudly to get their attention.
She came over and greeted him with a small smile, "Hello Sasori, thanks for coming," they shook hands and seemed very formal about it.
I tugged at Sasori's sleeves and gestured for him to come join, quickly he shook his head, "I only stopped by to see if you were telling the truth," I blinked but kept my firm grip on his sleeve.
"Please stay for a little while Sasori," I tried to bring him back to the group, the music was turned down even more since the arrival of the clown so now it was mostly just soft background noise while everyone's voice filled the room.
Sasori didn't do anything for a moment, he looked down at my cup with soda in it and he let out a small groan, "I'll stay for the length of one drink if you get it for me, and hurry, I don't like to be kept waiting."
Ecstatic, I ran to the table and poured a cup about as fast as I could, filling it all the way up to the brim. As I came back to him I realized I didn't even know what type of drink he liked. Sheepishly I handed him the cup, "Sorry I forgot to ask what you wanted yeah... I think that's coke."
Sasori rolled his eyes and I almost didn't catch it, he gestured the drink towards my face as he replied, "You're lucky I like coke. Remember, one drink then I'm gone." I smiled and brought him over to the others.
Turns out Sasori was a rather slow drinker. I was pretty sure it wasn't intentional seeing as he didn't look comfortable at all around everybody, but at some point I think he began to enjoy himself a little.
I paid attention to how he talked with everyone. He wasn't much of conversationalist, since he seemed much more of a listener, but he nodded at all the right moments and even sometimes would throw in his two cents if he was particularly passionate about the subject we were talking about.
Anything art related seemed to be his forte, and I made sure to make a mental note of that. At one point Konan and I got into a lengthy argument over if immortality was better than super speed, and Sasori actually spoke up and picked Konan's side about living forever. I found that somewhat ironic giving the past twenty-four hours.
I realized as the night went on that no one else knew what happened the night before. To be honest, no one really needed to know. It was a secret better kept between us with how personal it was.
When the party was over Sasori seemed somewhat surprised he had stayed the entire time, he still had a quarter of his now very flat drink left. After the fireworks everyone but Nagato starting leaving since it was almost one in the morning.
I walked out with him and smiled, "You stayed the whole time."
Sasori gave me a sidelong glance, "So I did. I hadn't expected to, I was actually rather interested in what your friends had to say. Minus the one that was clearly high beyond redemption… I must have forgotten all about the drink." I smiled and we walked out together.
Since his house was past the orphanage I was going to keep walking with him to make sure he didn't try to jump or anything, but he stopped me when we got to the gates, "It's late. I'm adult I don't need an escort back home."
"But Sasori-"
"No go home," he said firmly and began to walk off.
In a rush I ran to him and gripped his wrist tightly, "Sasori-"
"Deidara I told you to-"
"Please don't jump!" I blurted out suddenly, "don't please don't..."
There was a very long awkward silence that only seemed to grow as the seconds ticked by. I stared at the back of Sasori's head and he didn't move an inch. A snowflake hit my nose and reality hit once more. What would happen if he was gone? Gone for good?
I was finally beginning to crack him, I think. Maybe, just maybe, I could make him smile one more time. If I could do that, maybe he won't feel the need to end his own life. Some people would tell me to let nature take its course, but honestly I think I was just a little too infatuated with him to let him go. Maybe I could make a difference.
I hoped so. I wanted to.
I let my hand fall to my side. Sasori stood there silently. I could see his breath in the cold air, coming out in steady puffs of steam. I pursed my lips, wanting to say something, but I didn't know what.
After a long minute of silence he finally answered with a slow sigh of what seemed to be defeat. Then, I think I heard him chuckle softly as he spoke. "I... won't," and with that he was gone.
