I was re-reading Deathly Hallows, and I was a bit sad when Voldemort died but honestly I wanted Umbridge to die more than him.

tambrathegreat: You go do that, I'm sure your co-workers will love you for it.

Bookwormbunny12: He's One Directions biggest fan, and he's straight... I think.

Aguamenta: Your reviewing again! :) I'm excited too

Starstruck99: I'm glad you liked it!

MapleTreeway: I think I'm going to update every 2-3 days...

Dear diary,

I am currently writing to you from West London Mental Health.

I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I can assure you that it was not my fault.

See, after a few accidents (I swear they were accidents), Jane took my wand away to and I quote stop my 'idiotic shenanigans that always end up getting us sued'.

She just doesn't appreciate my utter awesomeness.

Anyways, I was walking through muggle London, wandless, when I saw this bloke that looked exactly like Potter.

You know, unruly ink black hair, wiry glasses, green eyes, and a scar I wish I had.

Naturally, I attacked him.

Turns out, it wasn't Potter at all.

After that, I was checked in the mental hospital against my free will.

When I got checked in, the lady at the front desk asked me for my name.

Naturally, I answered with Mchotness Horan Tomlinson Malik Payne Styles. (The last names of all my future husbands.)

The secretary just rolled her eyes, looked up at the ceiling, and said 'Yep, this one's definitely crazy.', as if the ceiling was going to answer her.

Silly secretary, ceilings don't talk.

The hospital is pretty cool actually, I got to design my own straight jacket (it's fuchsia with all the faces of One Direction on it, and on the back, in bright yellow letters, is 'DIE, POTTER, DIE', plus the jacket glows in the dark.').

And, I met this cool guy named Jim, who has a fetish for stripping and says he can see the future, the past, and the present, he also has a voice inside his head called Anthony.

I wonder why he's here.

Jim taught me that stripping is a good thing and that it defies the man.

And nothing is more important than defying the man.

So Jim and I spent the entire afternoon running around the mental hospital, stark naked, screaming 'WE RULE THE WORLD, BITCHES!' and 'THE MAN CAN'T CONTROL US!'

I've never felt so free.

Now I'm just waiting for Jane to come and find me, oh Jane, she must be so worried, franticly searching all of Britain for me.

-Voldemort