Just some family fluff! Enjoy! - SGA
"...Hey, I'm back!" Dipper announced as he returned to the little apartment that he called home. "Hello?"
There was no reply. The young man soon found his wife sprawled across the length of the couch, with crimson locks draped messily over her face as she napped. That was all fine by him though. If she was out cold, then that meant he had a chance to talk to her sofa-mate. After making sure she was still asleep, he positioned himself close to her swollen belly.
"Hey there, kiddo. Check it out, I got a couple books from the library today." He opened up his backpack and revealed a sizable collection of informative literature on infant care. "I decided it might be good to start seriously brushing up. All that time spent helping Mabel with your cousins probably won't help that much as I'd like. I mean, they're almost three and a half now. I'd bet you anything that I've gotten pretty rusty at handling newborns. I mean, I don't think I've like, forgotten everything, I just don't want to be caught off guard or anything…."
Dipper paused, then broke out chuckling at his own ridiculousness. "Oh man. I really, really, really hope you take after your mom. Trust me, you do not want to have deal with my level of anxiety. You've probably figured this out already, but things can get pretty crazy around here, so it's definitely for the best if...you can….keep your cool…"
Dipper suddenly became intensely aware of a muffled yet steady high pitched coo coming from his immediate right. He craned his head ever so slightly. The familiar toothy-smiled face that greeted him from only inches away nearly gave him a heart-attack.
"GAH! M-Mabel, what-" He hastily lowered his voice. "What're you-"
"Hi bro-bro!" His twin sister, the veritable master of cheerful surprise, was now suddenly kneeling right next to him.
"What are you doing here?" Now that he had been caught in the act, a torrent of blood rushed to his cheeks.
"We brought chocolate-chip rainbow cookies!" She produced a tin of freshly baked treats, each one lovingly coated in an extra-thick layer of multi-colored sprinkles.
"That doesn't count as an answer." He shot back. "And who's we?"
He honestly had no idea why we asked. On adorable cue her three-year-old twins and pet pig all peeked from behind her. Over the last few years she had abused her spare-apartment key privileges more than he could ever hope to count.
"Hey guys." The dutiful uncle whispered to his little niece and nephew.
"Hiiii!" Finn replied with a two-handed wave.
"Hi, Uncle Dippeh!" Gladys squeaked. Both the well-behaved little balls of energy kept their voices down to eager high-pitched whispers.
"Here, have a cookie!" Mabel thrust the treats in his face. "C'mon, take a couple! Seriously, take as much as you want. We went overboard at home. Now we have a serious surplus of deliciousness going on right now."
To Dipper's intense relief, Wendy hadn't stirred yet. A tactical retreat before she woke up was now very much in order. He could already feel the nervous sweat steadily beading on his forehead. "Okay, I'll try one in the kitchen-"
"It's okay, you can have it right here!" She happily refused him. "Try one!"
"We probably should-"
"Nooo, keep going doing your thing here! This is the best!" Her eyes sparkled brightly with unrestrained glee. "Omigosh, I still can barely believe it! You do actually talk to your little baby while she's still in her mom's tummy! Dipper, that's….that has to be-"
"I know, I know, it's cute." His cheeks were now burning bright scarlet. "Now can we-"
"Are you kidding? This is a million miles beyond cute! It's honestly one of the most adorable things ever!" She pat her rosy cheeks.
"We should probably move now." He tried to rise, and was foiled by a comforting hug.
"Don't worry bro, I do it too! Auntie Mabel just loves talking to her inside-niece!" Mabel lowered her head and began gushing to the unborn little one. "Hey there, honey! How are you doing? It's just me, popping in for a little visit. Look, I brought your cousins!"
She held up her little daughter to the baby bulge. "Say hi, Glad-Glad."
"Hi, baby!" the child enthusiastically whispered.
"Now your turn, Finn!" She speedily swapped children.
"Hi Phoebe!" he squeaked.
"Okay, so we've all said our hellos. Great. Now can we go?" Dipper's anxiety continued to painfully mount with every passing moment. .
"Why? We're having a great time here." She was obviously in no hurry.
"Because I think Wendy's going to be kind of weirded out if she finds me here talking to the baby like this." He impatiently implored. Not surprisingly, his sister remained unmoved.
"Oh, pffft! She won't be freaked out at all. She loves it! She told me that it's one of her favorite th-" Mabel hastily clapped a hand tightly over her lips, but it was too late. Her words had already frozen the blood in her brother's veins. Dipper gawked silently at her like a deer in headlights.
"...Wait, what?"
If he had any lingering hopes that she was only joking, those were soundly quashed a moment later when Wendy let out an uncontrollable snort. With her cover now blown, the supposedly sleeping woman brushed aside a few copper strands to reveal open green eyes and a guilty grin.
"Hey." She snickered.
"Um...h-hey." It was with great dismay that he put two and two together. "You're usually completely awake when I do this, aren't you?"
"Uh-huh. Dude, you seriously think I can't hear you when you end up talking to her for like, at least ten minutes at a time?" Wendy laughed. The young man groaned, earning him a pat on the head. "Sorry. I really liked the attention you were giving her. It's super sweet."
"Thanks?" In spite of the affectionate praise, Dipper's face still burned with the heat of a miniature sun.
"Relax, bro! It's just like she said! It's only some cute daddy stuff!" Mabel comfortingly chimed in.
"Yeah, I guess. One thing." Something occurred to him. "If you knew she was awake….why were you whispering to me the whole time just now?"
His sister thought about it for a second, shrugged, then changed the subject by unceremoniously shoving the tin back in his face. "Cookie?"
"Yeah, actually." The young man decided a snack was now finally in order. As he helped himself, Wendy ungracefully righted herself into a sitting position. No sooner had she made room when her niece and nephew crawled on onto the sofa to snuggle close against their aunt.
"Okay, so while you're here…" She laughed and gave her bump a playful pat. "Is there anything else you want to tell her?"
"Actually, yes." Dipper figured that he might as well be a good sport as he leaned back in, "Some advice for later; when you want to learn how to be sneaky, go ask your mom or Aunt Mabel…."
