Chapter 2
It was the middle of the night and Dayna stumbled into the bathroom. Her half-asleep body was on automatic pilot as she headed towards the toilet. She was still naked as she and Daryl never emerged from the room after the shower they took. They were making up for lost time by having as much sex as Daryl could handle. He wasn't getting any younger and by the time they went to sleep, he was sexed out…for now.
Dayna sat down in the dark and knew immediately the seat wasn't there. It was down when they finally went to bed, but it wasn't now as she felt herself falling. Her butt landed in the water and her hips hit the porcelain bowl. Neither was fun and one was painful. "Goddamn it Daryl!" she cried out.
She hated that he occasionally smoked in the room, she hated the clothes strewn all over the floor, but she hated this the most. Why he couldn't do this for her, she didn't know. That he wouldn't even make attempt to her hurt, both emotionally and physically. Dayna dried her wet bottom with his towel. "Payback is a bitch," she thought. Then she finished what she came in to do and returned to the bedroom.
Now she was wide awake. She was none too gentle getting back into bed and he groaned his displeasure while turning over. "Fucking dick," she mumbled.
It was a small thing, but it was important to her. That he wouldn't make an effort to put the seat down made her feel disrespected. A man and woman together in a committed relationship should respect each other and she was back to feeling that wasn't the case.
During the day she could see seat was up and just put it down. However, at night when she had to get up, she was always out of it and never thought to check. Falling into the toilet was humiliating, wet, and painful. She knew she'd have a bruise tomorrow. That's why it pissed her off so much. Didn't he care about that?
Dayna tossed and turned the rest of the night until sunrise came. Then she got up, got dressed but didn't have a single thing to do. The sun was barely up and everyone else was still asleep. She went downstairs, sat on the window seat and just stared outside. She and Daryl still needed to talk, but in the mood she was in right now, she was better off not saying a word.
When Daryl woke up, he was surprised that Dayna wasn't still in bed. He always rose before she did. If she was needed at the infirmary he would have heard it when someone would have knocked on the door. They had a great evening with more sex than he could remember. Daryl got dressed quickly and headed downstairs to see where she was.
Dayna heard his footsteps coming down the stairs before she saw him. She knew the slow way he always walked down them. She wiped a threatening tear away before looking over at him. She wished she knew what about him was so damn irresistible to her. He had tugged at her heart strings right from the start when she barely knew him. He was dirty, gruff, and ever so protective of her from that very first day they met on that long lonely road that was leading her right into hell. She found him devastatingly handsome, yet his tendency to brood only enhanced her attraction. He reminded her of the guy you always wanted to be with, but could never take home to the parents. The rebel in her loved him and his motorcycle. She also knew she could trust him with her life and he would die protecting her. He was her knight. There was just something going on between them that they needed to fix, or neither of them was going to be happy.
"You're up early," he said walking over to her and joining her on the window seat. That was his favorite spot in the house. Everyone knew that was his area.
"Couldn't sleep," she told him.
"Why not? Didn't I exhaust you enough last night?' he teased giving her shoulder a nudge with his.
She knew she shouldn't say anything now, but she had to. "I was sleeping great until I got up to go to the bathroom and fell in the toilet…again." Dayna heard him holding back a laugh. She jumped to her feet.
"Funny? You think that's funny? In the middle of the fucking night when I am half asleep it is a shock to fall in. My ass is all wet and my hips and pelvic bones get slammed into the hard bowl. How is that funny?" Dayna was furious.
"C'mon it ain't that bad," he told her.
"That's the problem. It is! You don't do anything I ask you to do. You smoke in the room, you drop your clothes all over the place so I have to pick them up or trip on them, but this is the worst. I've asked you multiple times to just put the damn seat down, but you can't even do that for me. I don't ask much of you and you can't do this one thing for me!"
This was why he left the other day. She got pissed off over the stupidest shit. Daryl got up and started to pace the room. "Why do you have to nag me all the time? God, I can never get away from it! You, this house, this whole fuckin' community is closing in on me! Can't you see that you're suffocating me?" he yelled. Was this how his father felt being married?
"I knew it. You left the other day to get away from me, didn't you? Didn't you!"
Daryl just looked her dead serious in the eyes. "You're not letting me breathe. I need…space."
Did he just say he needed space? From her? Was he serious? "Space? You want space? Seriously, you want space from me? I'll give you all the space you need Daryl." Dayna stood up with fire in her eyes stood right in front of him. "I love you Daryl Dixon, but you don't respect me. You want me gone, you don't have to tell me twice. I'll be out of your life in minutes, but don't expect me to give up this family. I won't do that. I just won't be a problem for you to deal with anymore." Dayna marched past him and passed Carol on the stairs and kept on going up to their room.
"I didn't mean she had to leave," he said softly. "I need…I…fuck I don't know what I need anymore."
Dayna forced the tears not to come. She was throwing everything she owned into the suitcase she stored in the closet and her backpack. It wasn't a lot, but no one had much anything these days but clothes anymore. She knew her old room in the house next door was still unoccupied, so she was headed there. She was not going to cry in front of Daryl. No way. As much as she loved him and always would, she hated him right now.
She was pretty sure she had everything and took one last look around the room. It was only a couple of hours ago that they were enjoying another round of incredible sex together and now she was leaving him. That was over. They were done.
Dayna stood up straight, pushed her shoulders back, and headed downstairs. He didn't even come up to try to talk her out of leaving, so she knew this was what he wanted. Last night even though she initiated it, was their final goodbye fuck. Damn.
Carol was in the kitchen working quietly as Dayna headed through the great room and out the front door. Daryl was outside smoking. He called her name softly as her foot hit the top step. Dayna turned to look at him. The sadness in his eyes almost made her turn right around, but she didn't.
"Dayna…I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. I love you, but everything is closing in on me," he told her.
"We've been fighting for weeks and even though the sex is great, that doesn't solve anything. I know what I want. I want you and us, but I'm not going to be disrespected like I feel you have been to me. You need to want us and are willing to work for it. You won't even talk to me anymore. When you figure out what you want…I'm right next door, but I can't guarantee that as much as I love you, that will be enough."
Dayna headed down the rest of the stairs not even looking to see Daryl's reaction. She couldn't as her heart was breaking and as much as she was the one leaving, it was his actions and words that caused it.
Daryl watched her disappear into the house next to him. He took another drag on the cigarette he was smoking. This may not be what he wanted, but for now, it was he needed, or at least he thought so. Why did it feel like he had a knife sticking out of his chest?
Never having been in a relationship before, he didn't know if this was normal or not. Did he just make the worst mistake possible? He may have. God, he was so fucking confused.
He put out his smoke before heading inside. Carol was in the kitchen drinking from a cup looking at him over the top of it. As Daryl got closer she lowered the cup.
"So why did you let that happen?" she asked. Carol knew that everything between Daryl and Dayna was not going as well as it should be. She knew Daryl better than most anyone and he could be stubborn. It had taken Dayna a little while to win her over, but when she did Carol was her champion. Daryl needed someone like Dayna in his life whether he agreed with it or not.
"None of your business, Carol," Daryl told her with a steely glare.
Carol blatantly ignored him. "She's the best thing that ever happened to you and you need to fix whatever you did."
"Why do you think it was my fault?" Daryl wasn't quite sure whose fault it was, but why did Carol automatically assume it was his?
"Because I know you and I also know that she's your first…and men always screw up relationships. It's in their DNA or something." Carol reached out and put her hand on his arm. "I like her. I love you and I want you to be happy and I think she's the one for you. Do you want to talk about it? Maybe need an impartial person to see what they think?"
Daryl was not one to talk about his life much. He never opened up about his relationships. Hell, he never had any to talk about in the first place. Until now. Carol had always been someone he felt comfortable with and maybe she could help.
Carol could see that he wanted to talk, so she took his hand and walked him over to the sofa. "Do you want to start at the beginning or what happened this morning?"
"I…I just been feeling closed in these last few weeks. Like everything is suffocating me…including Dayna. I don't got any time for myself just to be. She's always there harpin' on me."
"About what?"
"Mainly, my shit I leave layin' around and the fuckin' toilet seat. She's makin' a big deal out of little shit." Daryl ran his hand through his long hair, pushing back the bangs that were forever in his eyes.
Carol shook her head. "Since I used to do your laundry I know how much of a slob you are. When you live with another person, you can't just drop your clothes wherever the hell you please. I know you grew up with men and basically doing whatever you wanted, but that's not how the rest of us live. And the toilet seat left up is the bane of every woman out there."
"What the big fuckin' deal? I don't understand that," he admitted. "She said wasn't respecting her I cause I doing it on purpose. I really wasn't."
"But you didn't make an effort to do it either, right?"
Daryl's eyes briefly met Carol's before he looked away. "Maybe."
"She was right. These may be small inconsequential things to you, but not to her. If you really cared for her you would have made the effort, but since you didn't then she's going to question you and I bet nag you about it. Right?"
Daryl was biting his thumbnail as he did when he was uncertain. "That's all she would do and it was driving me crazy. I hadda get away!"
"That was the overnight you just did, it was to get away from Dayna?"
"Yep…well no, awe hell it kinda was. I needed to be just me and the guy she's trying to change me into."
"Oh Daryl," Carol sighed. "She's not trying to change you, but yes everyone does change when you get into a relationship. You need to work with her. It's not okay to leave your shit all over the place. And any man who cares about his wife or girlfriend, puts the damn seat down. Even Ed did that and you know what an ass he was."
Carol knew exactly what Daryl's problem was. At his age to be involved in a relationship for the first time was a totally new experience for him. He was used to having to answer only to himself and compromise was not a word he knew too well. "When things go wrong in a relationship, it's not one person's sole fault. Both parties need to work together. You love her don't you?" Daryl nodded that he did. "Then you both have to work together and it will all work out."
"So the woman that lived in an abusive marriage for years is telling me how to handle my love life?" Daryl appreciated her help, but it sure sounded like he was the only one that needed to make changes. Why did she think she knew so much when her own marriage was a fucking disaster?
She took a deep breath in or Carol was tempted to punch him. "As I said, the two people needed to work together. Ed only wanted what was good for Ed. I was also a completely different person then than I am today. That's why we didn't work, but I wasn't strong enough to get out. You don't have to listen to me at all. But I think that you letting Dayna walk out that door was a huge mistake that you're going to regret. She's a wonderful woman and she's perfect for you. She certainly cries your name loud enough at all hours, so I assume the sex is pretty damn good."
Daryl felt himself instantly turn red. He didn't get embarrassed easy, but knowing that Carol heard them having sex downright humiliating. "Damn, I knew she was being too loud." He turned slowly to look at Carol and saw laughter in her eyes. The corner of his mouth lifted into a half smile. "Yeah, the sex is fuckin' good."
"All I'm going to say is that if she is worth it to you, then you need to fix this." Carol kissed him on the forehead before getting up and heading back to the kitchen.
Daryl walked upstairs to his room and opened the door. It felt so empty without her. It just wasn't her presence in the room, but everything about her was gone. The suffocation was gone, but it was replaced with an emptiness he didn't know existed. Was this what he wanted? He wished he had a fucking clue.
