"What do you think of Gai?" It's an odd question that Kankuro springs on me now, so I may as well give him the truth.

"I think I've met saner clowns on meth."

And then there was silence. I study Kankuro slightly as we're walking, and I suddenly realise, my brother has to be gay. I mean, it's obvious; he wears kitty ears and purple eye shadow. Either he's comfortable with his sexuality in the extreme, or he's not so secretly batting for a different team. I wonder if I should confront him on this issue, wait, why am I wondering if I should?

"Kankuro, are you gay?" I do believe the look he gave me can be directly interpreted as 'go fall down a mineshaft Temari, now, do it!'

"You're not a very pleasant person are you Tema-chan?"

"Whoever said I had to be a – oh. Fuck. Me. Sideways." We'd reached the school. And it was big. And I don't just mean average big, 'like oh look, that's quite a big building they have there', I mean the massive, I'm-going-to-get-lost-in-there-within-three-seconds BIG.

"I'm sorry Temari, but incest is – oh." It appears Kankuro has also spotted the behemoth that is our school. "I'm going back now, ok Temari?"

"What?! You can't abandon me like this Kankuro, oh no, you are going right in there with me and you're going to act like you enjoy it!" I don't know why I feel the need to drag Kankuro in with me, but the fact I have at least one brother with me when facing this monolithic thing of a school makes me feel slightly better. Somehow. Well, it just makes me feel less alone in my suffering really. I'm such a bitch sometimes. "And don't you raise your eyebrow at me young man."

"Temari, you realise we can pull a Gaara? Gai will let us."

"I don't care if Gai will let us. Gaara is insane if you hadn't noticed by now, and I don't want to have the feeling that I'm at his level hanging over me for the rest of my life." Really, I don't. To feel that way would be a fate worse than death, I really would prefer to stay away from being pegged as the same as any of my brothers. Considering ones a psycho emo kid and the others a possibly gay pervert. Actually, now that I think of it Kankuro must be bi-sexual or something, one can't fake being that perverted over almost all of those of the female variety.

"I think I might just hate you Tema-chan."

"You're no cat Kankuro, you are a chicken. A lily-livered chicken."

"Going old-school I see Temari, still, fuck you grasshopper."

"Kankuro, if you use that line one more time I swear to god I will eat your heart."

"Can I appease you with coffee?"

"You know me too well."

"How sinister can you get, sister of mine?"

"Silence you, or I'll take you to a place where no one can hear you screaming."

"Sounds like rape."

"Sounds like you're an idiot."

"I'm buying you sugary things as well I see."

"Damn straight you are."


What is it about wearing man pants that attracts stares and comments like:
"So I see that you're a macho-macho man." Really, what is it? I would like to know... Actually, I think I can figure it out for myself.

Practically all of the little girly children are dressed like tramps.

Honestly. That is not a skirt child, it is a belt. A BELT. We use it to hold up PANTS. Please go and put some on, as I do not wish to be assaulted with a clear view of your Barbie knickers. Actually, I wouldn't really mind that, except it's in public and of what I've encountered so far of children like this – they don't have the best personalities. Like asking me if I were a bumblebee, just because my wondrous top is yellow and black striped. Maybe they asked that because it leaves something to the imagination. Actually, it leaves a lot to the imagination. If you didn't count the fact it makes my boobs look like some kind of floatation device.

Hey, at least I won't have to worry about drowning any time soon with these babies.

At least Art can save my soul. Well, I sure as hell hope it can save it. Because if I don't get away from the stares pretty soon someone's going to end up looking like they've just gone through a combine harvester. Why yes, I do have violent tendencies. It's not my fault; I blame it entirely on society.

"Pssst, Bumblebee!" Okay, seriously, this HAS to stop! I'll impale this little slut and make her an example – well, she's certainly not like the other little children with the Barbie knickers. Actually, she looks a lot more... manly, dare I say it. A fellow man pants wearer, at least. Still, she called me bumblebee! I shan't accept her with open arms... wait, when have I ever accepted anyone with open arms? I have much to ponder now. "Do you speak?" Her small cocky smile grew into a slight smirk.

Oh, so she's a smirking man pants wearer. The difference isn't quite obvious to the outside observer, but to the secret sect of man pants wearers... Okay, I think this school is getting to me. Already. Or maybe it's the overdose of caffeine I had this morning. Or maybe it's both. Or maybe, just maybe I'm losing my mind. I should hope that I'm not.

"Anyway, my name's Tenten." She held out her hand and I took it, only to be sucked into one of those I-will-crush-your-hand-first type handshakes that are really a secret way of finding out the strength of someone else. Everyone's been caught up in one at some point in their life; I just tend to end up in them more than your average Joe. And I always win, always. Yes, I am just a little bit on the more competitive side. Big whoop.

"I used to be the only 'shemale' around here. It's nice to finally have company."

"'Shemale?'" This Tenten, with her little Chinese buns and her fluoro pink tank top and man pants that were at least three times manlier than mine, just laughed at my raised eyebrow and petted me on the cheek as if I were some idiotic small child. Honestly, what is with the people around here treating me like this? Do I look like a touchy-feely person? Do I?! "Did I miss something?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Anyway, what's your name stranger?" So she's seen her fair share of Westerns as well, maybe she's worth her salt. Maybe, just maybe she could be a... friend. Oh yes, cue the 'dun dun dun'.

"It's Temari, and you'd best be careful the way you speak partner." Judging by the sudden spark that jumped into her murky brown eyes, I'd say friendship is a distinct possibility. If it weren't before, considering when man pant wearers are a breed apart and need to stick together... Okay, it's this school that's getting to me. It's all because I've barely seen a girl wearing baggy pants around. But that might be because shortly after the fifth accidental flashing by a girl wearing a belt-'skirt' I attempted to gouge my eyes out. But that's irrelevant.

What's relevant now is getting a seat in Art and...

"Tema-chan, this is where I usually sit. You're welcome to join me for a chinwag."

"Did you just say 'chinwag'?"

"Mhmm." She patted the seat next to her.

"That's so old-school." I sat down on the strangely comfortably firm stool next to her.

"That deserves something sugary. Or caffeine riddled... Or both...Like deadly 100 degree
coffee and doughnuts...mmm...doughnuts..."

"Temari, hey Tema-chan! No day-dreams about doughnuts and coffee during art." She laughed at me, and I had the weird feeling that we were acting like we'd known each other for a rather long time. It's what man pants do to people, they bring them together – they make you bond. Well, at least they do when you're the only people with the guts to wear man pants in a sea of belt wearers.

"You take your art seriously don't you Tenten?"

"So seriously it probably means I'm already developing stomach ulcers." She nodded wisely, then promptly rolled her eyes and cackled. "Na, the one who's like that is her." She pointed in a general diagonal direction, at what I assumed was the pink haired girl currently laughing with a suspiciously familiar looking sandy haired boy. I'm fairly sure it's a good assumption because sandy haired boys don't usually get referred to as 'her'.

"She looks fairly easy – oh. My. God. That's Kankuro! That bitchface!" And before Tenten could even say 'Get off the crack Temari', I was striding across the room fully prepared to go all Spanish Inquisition on that boy's ass.

Apparently though, Kankuro is psychic. Or just possesses more intelligence than I give him credit for. Because just before I reached him to interrogate him to within an inch of his purple eye shadow wearing life, he turned to greet me with a dazzling smile and a:
"Why hello Temari, meet my new friend Sakura."

Well, that caused a practically visible downpour on my parade.

"Oh. Hi Sakura." I only bother with being polite because I can see she's wearing pants. Even if they are tight black jeans that, for some reason, bring the lyrics of: 'you'd better shape up, because I need a man, and my heart is set on you...' to mind. "Kankuro, I thought you said you'd sworn off art for life?"

"Oh, Sakura-chan helped me see that I should give art a second chance." Oh, so this is how it is, he can sell me up the river when I try and get him to do art with me so I won't be alone – but as soon as a 'pretty little piece of ass', as he'd put it, comes along he's all for art. Art ahoy, in fact! That's it; I'm putting rat poison in his coffee. "She's also agreed to help me so that I can get better and really, achieve my potential in class this time."

I want to rip that leer right off his smug little face... I mean, I'm really happy my brother is making friends... Please, God, if you're out there, smite him. Smite him real good.

"Oh, Temari." Hmm, I don't trust this Sakura child; her eyes are too close together. That and I just don't like her I'm-such-a-nice-person-worship-me smile that she's wearing right now. All my instincts tell me to kill, but that might just be that female rivalry thing I've heard about. "You're welcome to join us if you want – I could help you out with your art as well."

Well, that wasn't just a little conceited or anything. No.

"Oh thanks for the offer Sakura, but I'd sooner shave my head and join a communist movement than become a mindless clone." That should give the little arrogant airhead something to chew over. Though my cheeks hurt already from mimicking her own empty little smile.

"What a shame, I was sure you'd look a lot prettier without a brain." Wait, she can 

think? Good God, how does a thinking girl end up like that? Oh wait, that's right, I forget about the male influence. She's obviously one of those types who deliberately play the fool in order to gain male attention. Generally those types only attract drooling idiots like my brother who feed off of accidental flashing of Barbie knickers. I bet he's in heaven right now.

"And I'm sure you'd be a lot prettier with a spine, or lacking that, a personality."

"You're a real bitch, aren't you Tema-kun?" Oh, what a subtle dig. Bravo, bravo Sakura. Cue the sarcastic slow clap.

"You only just realised? Well, I guess it's hard to figure these things out when you're busy being a syphilitic whore."

And with that, she stupidly attacked me. Apparently she can't think enough to realise that she's about two thirds of my size and even if I weren't particularly strong from years of beating sense into brothers she wouldn't have a snowballs chance in hell of beating me. Even in a fair fight. Unfortunately, before I could do any more lasting damage than possibly break her nose, the teacher walked in.

Why is it that teachers have such perfect timing?


"I'm disappointed in you Temari, how could you use such a strong flame of youth to hurt another?" Gai's a PE teacher, who knew? "You should know better at your age than to sink to someone else's level."

Sitting in an empty Gym, being told off by your legal guardian of whom you've barely known 24 hours is really, really weird. Words cannot describe how weird something like this is. Particularly considering I should've been back 'home' about an hour ago. But I'm serving my detention from art with Gai. Apparently, I'm not actually doing anything more for this particular detention than sitting listening to Gai. As I have been doing for the past hour. Without caffeine or sugar.

It's worse than Chinese water torture. I can feel myself de-toxing.

"If I say I'm sorry and that I'll never do it again because doing things like that makes me a horrible, horrible person can I leave and get something to eat?" I sound pitiful; it makes me want to beat myself up. Honestly, I want to punch myself in the gut and be all "Stop being such a whiner, foo'!" Because secretly, I'm a much more violent Mr T.

"Oh that's right I've kept you here an hour without food, you must be starving you poor thing!" What's with his sparkly eyes? Why is he like this? Is he on drugs? If so, are they legal ones – and can I have some? Because if he's on something, whatever it is, it has to be some serious shit. "You can run on home, I think Lee will have cooked up something delicious by now. He's quite the talented little chef."

That reminds me, I have yet to meet this mysterious Lee character. I wonder what he's like... probably has a bowl cut and bushy eyebrows, if Gai's anything to go by. Actually, 

I'm fairly sure if you lived with Gai for an extended amount of time you'd end up looking like him... And taking on his mannerisms... Oh God, I'm going to turn into a female version of Gai!

Hey, how'd I get so far without noticing? I'm almost back at the place that I must now call 'home'. Lamenting about turning into a female version of Gai must be a really good distraction. That or 'home' isn't that far from the school. I think it's the latter one - it seems more plausible.

"Temari! You're alive!" Scary, why is Kankuro rushing out to meet me? "So how was detention with that snake obsessed art teacher?" Oh, that's right he thinks I had detention with the art teacher like Sakura did. He doesn't know about the cunning plan to split us up for detention in order to avoid another fight... and Sakura's imminent death.

"You mean, 'is Sakura-chan alright?'" The falsetto I put on to mock him hurts my soul just the tiniest bit – but it's worth it, considering just the notes I hit with it annoy him to the point that his eye twitches. "Well, you're out of luck buddy; I didn't have detention with her. For all I know he's raping her in the supply room."

"That's not funny Temari."

"The truth often isn't funny, Kanky darling." I can't help but cackle at his not so inward fuming. We have the weirdest relationship, Kankuro and I.

Sweeping on inside, I was immediately hit with the delicious aroma of cooking pizza. Meat-lovers pizza, I do believe. I think I may just have died and gone to heaven. Practically floating as my nose veritably drags me to the kitchen, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by a figure in green and two strong arms closing around me and squeezing me to the point of no return.

"Temari-san! It's so good to finally meet you, I can tell your flame of youth burns brightly!" So this is Lee. He really is a mini-Gai, what with his bowl-cut and... Oh, no, he isn't. Please tell me he isn't wearing green and orange together. Green track pants with an orange shirt and a green jacket over top... Please, please tell me this is all just a bad acid trip and not reality. "Temari-san, are you ok?"

Oh God. It is reality.


A/N: Ok, so, I have no resolve and am putting this up after getting one review. I'd promised myself I'd try and hold out for maybe another one... But as I said before, I have no resolve. I think someone should slap me. With a fish. Salmon, in fact.
But not smoked salmon - I don't deserve the smoky goodness.

.

SimplyForgettable