Resolution

Jacob was still chattering happily at me as I remained lost in my thoughts.

What am I going to tell Edward? How do you say something like this? "Hey Edward, funny story, you remember all those times I told you I loved you? What I really meant was I love having you around to keep me safe! Isn't that funny?! I'm with Jake now, but we can still be friends, right?"

Something told me that that wasn't the best way to handle it. Finally Jacob noticed my complete lack of joy and stopped talking. He moved closer to me and pulled my face up to look at him.

"Bella, you're crying," he said gently as he wiped the tears from my face, "what's wrong?"

"Jake," I whispered, not trusting myself to speak at a normal volume, "this is going to crush Edward. I've spent the last two years telling him I loved him, acting like I loved him! He loves me. He almost died for me. I don't think I can do this..."

"Bella! He said severely, "I will not allow you to stay with Edward," He said the name with a snarl, "just because you're too guilty to leave him! That's not fair to him or you!," he softened, "It's not fair to me. I love you Bella. I've loved you since the very first moment I saw you. I was convinced that I had my chance when the leech left you, and then he comes back and you forgive him, just like that!" He snapped his fingers. "I was willing to live with that because I was sure you loved him. Now that I know that's not the case, I'm not letting you get away." He pulled me into a big hug, his massive body enveloping me into a warm cocoon.

"Jake, it's so much more difficult than that! I was going to marry him, become like him and spend eternity with him. It was all planned out! This could very literally kill him."

"But you know it has to be done. For all our sakes." I nodded. I knew that I would have to sever ties with Edward. It would hurt. The pain that came when I even thought about leaving him nearly took my breath away. But at this point, it was unavoidable. It had to be done, and it had to be done now.

"Bella," Jake said seriously, "I am going to fight." I started to protest but he put his hand over my mouth to stop me, "You know me too well to think that I would miss this. But Edward has already promised to sit out with you. This would be the perfect time for you to tell him about this. About us. He loves you enough to respect your wishes, and I trust that he will keep you safe until I can come back for you." He leaned down and kissed me quickly and whispered, "I love you." Before he turned around and loped off happily toward the battle.

As soon as he was out of sight I began pacing. Edward had to have been listening, he'd promised not to, but then again he was expecting me to dump Jake. Wouldn't he want to hear that?

No, I thought, he would have respected my privacy. He knows how hard that would have been for me. He would have kept his word. I instantly felt twenty times more guilty. He was such a truly honest, loving person. Probably one of the most kind-hearted individuals ever born, and I was about to break his heart. I was a monster. A cruel, inhumane monster.

I sensed more that heard movement behind me. I whirled around and saw Edward standing there with a somber look on his face. Did he really listen? Did he already know?

"How did he take it? Was he angry or just upset?" No, he hadn't listened after all.

"Edward, I-" He cut me off before I could finish.

"Bella, I swear I didn't think he'd take the news of our engagement so badly, but he had to know! I didn't think you were going to tell him so I just..." he paused, "I'm truly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him, but most of all, I didn't mean to hurt you. To see you hurt is torture." The pain in his eyes proved the sincerity of his words.

I was wrong. This wouldn't kill Edward. This would kill me.