Chapter 1: Bad Dreams
Winry fanned herself with an oven mitt as she hovered near the stovetop. She peaked in through the glass window to see the square-shaped loaf rising. Granny Pinako had called her crazy for baking a cake in mid-June, but there was no way she was going to let her daughter turn 13 without a proper cake.
A loud bang echoed down the hallway. A fist against the dry wall.
"What do you mean you're still in Central?" Envy shouted into the phone receiver, and she knew without a doubt he was speaking to Edward. "If you think I'm going to make up an excuse for you, you're dead wrong. There's still time. Get on the next fucking train or I'll shove your excuses up your ass next time I see you."
Envy slammed the receiver down and promptly hung up.
Edward made it a habit to call every Sunday to talk to Winry. And every Sunday, Envy picked up. Sometimes Edward would actually get to talk to Winry, and sometimes he wouldn't. Winry mostly found it amusing the way the two went to great lengths to get on each other's nerves.
For the last 12 years Envy and Edward had been working closely together for Fuhrer Mustang. The first year had been a nightmare, mostly for Winry. She would get calls in the middle of the night from Edward sometimes just so he could try to talk her out of the marriage. She smiles when she remembers a particular conversation:
"I came back to my office to find a postage parcel full of… of ladies garments and lingerie!" Edward exclaimed, horrified. "You know, the military checks our mail? The ladies in the mail room wouldn't leave me alone about it for over a month! And they've stopped bugging me now, but almost everyone who is ranked Lieutenant thinks I'm either a male prostitute or a cross-dresser…"
When Winry asked Envy about it next time he phoned, she heard a little snicker.
"Oh, that?" He gasped, and she could hear he was holding back laughter. "Oh, I had nothing to do with that –," Snort!
On one of their trips back to Amestris, Winry once overheard Shou May telling Granny Pinako:
"Well, at least Envy's getting it out of his system," she said, her newly-wedded husband Alphonse smiled apologetically at Granny Pinako, who continued to smoke her pipe in silence. "I mean, you never know, do you? One day he could snap and kill everyone! I mean, sorry… I didn't mean – oh, never mind."
It was true people talked about their strange union behind their backs. Despite the amount of support they received in the beginning people were quick to forget the good deeds Envy had done in light of his bloodied past. Winry struggled with it from time to time, but she knew Envy didn't care.
"The only people who matter at all are my family," Envy stated once when Winry voiced her uncertainties. "You, River and Christopher are the only three who matter. The rest can go fuck themselves."
After that the topic was dropped.
"Winry?" Envy wandered into the kitchen. His appearance had changed slightly over the years from his original black outfit to a collared shirt and pants, and today he had his hair pulled back in a knot. He started opening drawers and cupboards.
"What did you lose?" Winry asked.
Envy pauses to stare at her, violet eyes shadowed in thought. "Your grandmother's pipe."
"What?"
"She lost it and she's accusing me of hiding it on her," Envy said.
"And you didn't?"
"It was just the once, and it was five years ago!" Envy said, sighing. "You Rockbell's never drop a grudge…"
Winry smiled. "Well, maybe the kids have seen it?"
Envy turned toward the open front door and peered out. One hand held up to shade his eyes, he scanned the rolling lawn down to the river. Winry thought he must have spotted them, because he suddenly bellowed, "Hey, what the –? River, cut your brother down from the tree right now or I'll hold your birthday cake hostage!"
A small girl's voice replied, "But he let me… I told him he was being stupid. It's not my fault."
Envy sighed loudly, held up his fingers and began to count down, "One… Two… Three…"
"Fine!" River snapped. Winry heard a thud and Christopher whimper. She shook her head. It wasn't the first time they had caught River being cruel to her younger brother. Winry imagined having children would be a magical and enlightening experience. But mostly it was exhausting and full of a series of events that involved crayons on walls, endless cleaning, yelling, and the occasional moment of happiness. Not that she was ever defeated. Far from it. But it definitely didn't stand up to her ideal fairy tale.
A golden-haired ball of tears bolted into the house. Christopher dash right past Envy and straight for Winry, burying his face in her legs. Winry turned, kneeled down to check him and make sure he wasn't actually hurt. She could tell fake tears from a mile away, and these were definitely fake. His face was scrunched up in a tight, red mess, blue eyes barely watering. There were no tears, just loud noises from his throat.
"Mommies boy!" River appeared in the doorway with a frown. Unlike her brother she shared her father's colouring, his dark hair and pale skin. Her blue eyes were the only thing she had that resembled Winry at all. She crossed her arms.
"River apologize to your brother," Envy said, staring down at the almost-barely-teenager.
River stared right back. "No."
Envy's eyes narrowed, just slightly.
"I didn't do anything wrong," River said, gesturing to the sobbing boy. "We were playing. He wanted to see if he could get out of the knot I tied. He only started being a baby when you came out and yelled at me."
"Stop crying now," Winry said, patting Christopher on the head. "Is this the truth?"
His lips thinned in a stubborn frown and he glanced sideways at River, brow furrowed.
"If you lie, you'll go to hell," River snapped, glaring right back at him. Envy's eyes widened on Winry in a look that pleaded, I swear she didn't learn that from me.
Winry frowned. "Where did you pick up that kind of language?"
River shrugged. "Oh, come on, Mom, I'm 13 now. You should hear the kids at school. Also, I've heard Dad say worse things."
Envy rounded on her, hissing, "Don't throw me under the train!"
River grinned, "But it's true…"
Envy looked up at Winry in a small plea of mercy. "I have no clue what she's talking about."
"What is all this racket!?" Granny Pinako stormed down the stairs. Envy froze, and Christopher immediately stopped crying to stare at her with wide eyes. "I try to get some shut-eye for five minutes and my pipe goes missing, and it sounds like the house is about to explode!"
"Your pipe's in the garage on the tool bench," River said.
"What the hell is it doing there?" Granny Pinako mumbled and made her way to the garage. Winry looked up at Envy and smirked: two mysteries solved. Granny Pinako disappeared into the garage to fetch her pipe, and River sat down on the couch in the living room and opened up one of Edward's old alchemy books he'd left behind.
"You're not going to die," Winry said to Christopher. "Stop crying now. Go outside and play."
Envy still looked shell-shocked standing in the doorway. As Christopher past him to leave the house, Envy wandered slowly over to Winry. He put his hands on the counter and stared over at her, cheeks slightly flushed.
Winry smirked at him. "Are you okay?" she asked.
He shook his head slowly, and replied, "I am not prepared for teenage-hood."
Envy had never had his authority challenged except by the likes of Edward Elric, and possibly Mustang. Regardless of how many years old he was or the fact he spent the vast majority of his life being a homicidal pawn for Father, his whip-like teenage daughter floored him every single time.
River was born months before Winry and him were officially married, which came as a surprise to everyone, including them. The fact that Envy could even get Winry pregnant came as an unusual piece of news one winter morning while Winry was face-down in a porcelain throne. At first they thought she had the flu. Then her breasts began to enlarge and her hips grew three sizes. Envy remembers sitting in her bedroom as she told him she'd been to seen the doctor. He stared down at her stomach as though it held some terrifying monster.
He admits to being genuinely scared in that moment. Scared because he had no idea what to expect, the child could be inhuman or some creature that might tear Winry up from the inside; and scared because in her womb rested his entire future and he had no idea what it held.
Dr. Marcoh made a point of stopping by multiple times before the end of her term to examine Winry and even provided a due date: June 12. He determined the child would be human, but he couldn't conclude how it was even possible. He asked them time and time again, if he could observe the birth and growth of the child for research purposes. Envy flatly refused, but Winry was too curious to deny the opportunity of learning about their child's strange creation. She had the final say.
River grew and developed like any normal human child. From the moment she learned to speak, Winry and Envy shared the fact that her mother was human, and her father was not. She grew believing she was as normal as the next child. Anyone who questioned their odd decision was directly confronted by Envy, and it goes without saying by the time Christopher came along six years later no one challenged the way they raised their children.
Dr. Marcoh was delighted when he heard Winry was pregnant for a second time. Like before, he observed and examined Winry's growing stomach, heartbeat, and even introduced them to a new device called an ultrasonic machine that allowed them to see the fetus. Envy watched the white lines on the monitor convulse and move around, and though secretly that it was creepy and unnatural looking. But Dr. Marcoh was gleeful, saying the child was as healthy as can be.
The sun was beginning to sink into the horizon. The sky bled orange and pink. Envy flipped through a newspaper, while Granny Pinako watched him. He would read the headlines out to her and she would tell him which she wanted him to read out loud to her. Christopher played with a toy train that he'd built winding through the living room.
A knock at the door made River pop her head up from the couch where she sat reading. Winry dropped the knife she was using to ice the cake and crossed the room to answer the door.
"Dr. Marcoh! Great to see you," she said, "I hope the trip was comfortable."
Dr. Marcoh smiled. "Just fine, thank you. Good to see you as well."
"Grandpa Marcoh!" River jumped up from couch and ran to give him a hug.
"And there's the birthday girl," Dr. Marcoh said, handing her a wrapped gift. "I have this for you, but you have to wait and open it with the rest."
River took the gift in her hands, gingerly like it was some fragile thing. "Thanks."
"You spoil her," Winry said, smiling. Dr. Marcoh closed the door behind him and laughed.
"That's my job," he said. He noticed Envy on the couch next to Granny Pinako and nodded to him. "Looks like you're still on duty."
"It never ends. Send help." Envy replied, and received an elbow in the ribs from Granny Pinako.
"Shut it, you," she said. "Nice to see you again, Doctor. Can we get you some tea?"
"That would be great," he nodded. Winry dropped was about to begin juggling finishing the cake, dinner and boiling water for tea, but Envy shoved the newspaper at Granny Pinako.
"Read your own paper, hag," he said, and crossed the room to help in the kitchen.
"It's nice to see nothing much changes here," Dr. Marcoh said, but River snorted.
"Excuse me, but have you seen how tall I am now?" she said.
"Another year and you'll be taller than Fullmetal," Envy laughed from the kitchen.
"I heard that!"
Everyone turned to stare at the door and it swung open violently. Standing in the doorway was Edward Elric, sporting his standard red jacket, golden hair in a braid over his shoulder. Envy blanched.
"You have to talk about my height even when I'm not around?" Ed snapped, he turned to receive a hug from River ("Uncle Ed!").
Envy shrugged. "I don't have hobbies. I have children. You can't blame me for getting in kicks when I can."
The group laughed at Ed's red face as he glared across the room at Envy. Envy snickered, and walked out of the kitchen holding a cup of tea. "Peace offering, ochibi-san?"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING CHIBI?"
"Settle down, you two, before someone gets thrown through the front door… again," Granny Pinako said.
Envy grinned widely and Edward took the cup of tea from him. "I'll accept a temporary truce then," he said.
"Great," Winry said, whipping her brow with the back of her hand, "because fighting can wait. I need Envy to help me serve dinner before I faint of exhaustion."
"Kids, food!" Granny Pinako yelled. Immediately, Christopher jumped to his feet and ran over to the table.
"Hungry one, isn't he?" Edward mumbled.
"I think he got a bit of Gluttony, actually," Envy snickered.
Edward considered for a moment. "That would be terrifying."
River sat next to Christopher and Dr. Marcoh. Edward helped Granny Pinako to the table and before long Envy and Winry had set the spread of food. Once they were all seated and started digging in, Envy looked across the table at his two children and thought, not for the first time, that he had no idea where they came from.
After dinner River opened her gifts. She received a silver compass from Dr. Marcoh that looked like it had been through the war. It was scratched and needed a good polishing. Dr. Marcoh said he had used it many times on his travels, and that if she were to ever go out on her own she should take it with her to find her way back home. She smiled and tucked it in her pocket for safe-keeping.
Edward brought her a book on the history of alchemy. Envy raised his eyebrow at the title: Homunculus. He glanced over at Edward, who grinned widely.
"Don't give me that look," Ed said. "It took every ounce of resources I had to dig up that old copy. It's probably the best rewrite that's as close to the original as possible."
"Am I going to read about you in here, Dad?" River giggled.
Envy frowned. "I sincerely hope not."
Even though River and Christopher knew what their father was, Envy and every member of their family and friends had guarded Envy's dark secrets carefully. He was grateful his bloodied past didn't resurface to enlighten his children with what he had done. Envy realized a silence lingered after his words. River didn't seem to notice, thanked Edward for the book, and turned to open the last present from her parents.
It wasn't anything overly sentimental. Winry and Granny Pinako had hunted down pieces of an old alchemy set, and Envy had found a book with harmless transmutation circles she could practice with. Despite her interest in alchemy, River never managed to make anything work. But they encouraged her interest in the subject all the same, saying that even great alchemists can't perform alchemy. Look at Uncle Edward, Winry had once said to help River feel better about it.
"But Christopher can do it," River had replied. "My six-year-old brother can do it, and I can't. There's something wrong with me. He doesn't even read all the books!"
Winry had voiced this concern to Envy in private one evening after the kids had been put to bed, but he just brushed it off.
"It's probably nothing," he had said. "You're overthinking it. I'm sure it's just the same as when humans can't do certain things better than their siblings. I mean, Lust was awesome at being sexy, and no matter what I turned into I just couldn't achieve the same effect. Pissed me off sometimes."
"It's time for bed," Winry said to the children after Dr. Marcoh left for his hotel room in Resenbool. Edward opted to sleep on the couch as per usual. River and Christopher shared his old room and Granny Pinako had moved into Alphonse's room when Envy and Winry were married, giving the couple the master bedroom and the run of the house.
"Sweet dreams, you two," Edward said, messing up Christopher's golden hair. Christopher, the ever-silent, turned to take his mother's hand and they walked up the stairs to the bedroom.
River turned to Envy, who was seated across from Edward with Granny Pinako. "Do I have to, Dad? I'm 13 now. Can't I say up a little bit longer than Christopher?"
"If you force me to answer that question, you'll be starting a war between me and your mother," Envy said, "and I'll probably lose. So, yes, brat, you have to."
She grumbled, but wrapped her arms around his shoulders wearily. "Fine…"
Envy kissed her on the cheek and she dragged her feet up the stairs after Winry and Christopher.
Edward smirked. "You've sure got your hands full. No wonder you took some time off to help Winry out."
"Well, with this old hag getting older," Envy pointed at Granny Pinako, who glared at him, "Winry and I have full-time jobs."
"It's nice though, isn't it?" Edward asked. His eyes misted over in thought, and Envy could see he wished the roles were reversed, knew he'd wished that from the moment he found out Winry wanted Envy before himself.
"Yeah, sometimes," Envy said, and received a curious glance from Edward.
Before more could be said, Winry came down the stairs and said, "Envy, Christopher is asking for you."
"Okay, okay…" Envy stood up and stretched. He left to follow Winry up the stairs, and before they entered the bedroom, she whispered, "It's about the nightmares again."
Envy nodded and went into the room. The room was split down the middle, a window between the two halves, a bed on either side. River lay facing the wall in her bed, her dresser was organized and tidy. The books on the shelf were ordered by topic and author, all alchemy and myths on the homunculi. An hourglass sat on the night table, something Envy found in a market when she was ten and thought she'd like. She had flipped it recently. The sand slipped through the mouth in the top and made a neat pile in the bowl at the bottom.
Christopher's side of the room looked like a bomb had hit it. A toy horse rested on its side on the dresser, books lay open and scattered, a chess board with some of the pieces missing was halfway under his bed, and a vase of dead flowers sat on the nightstand. Winry had wanted to throw them out, but Christopher put up such a fight that she eventually gave in and let him keep them.
He was sitting up in bet cross-legged when Envy came into the room. His large blue eyes watched Envy until he sat on the edge of his bed, and said, "What's up?"
"I'm afraid to sleep," Christopher said.
"The nightmares are only dreams," Envy said, "they can't hurt you."
"But they scare me." Christopher looked down at the covers, hands twisting against his knees. Envy knows Winry does the same thing with her hands when she's nervous.
"You remember how to punch like I showed, right?" Envy asked, and Christopher nodded. "Hold out your fist."
Christopher punched Envy's bicep with his tiny fist. Envy winced, "Ah, Christopher, ouch!" He rubbed his arm, and Christopher's eyes widened. "I meant hold it out, don't punch me. OH, OUCH! There's definitely going to be a bruise there. You have to watch your strength, man. I mean, that's some serious power you've got."
River giggled into her pillow. Envy watched Christopher stare in shock at his own tiny fist. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Daddy."
"I know, all right," Envy said. "But seriously, if you get scared, just punch the person with all your strength. It even works in nightmares."
"Really?"
Envy nodded. "Uh, duh, kiddo. You have to stick up for yourself in that dream world of yours, and then after a while no monsters are going to be dumb enough to pick on you."
Christopher gave a small smile. "Okay…" He leaned forward and kissed Envy's arm where he had punched it, and said, quietly, "You'll heal fast now."
Envy grinned, and stood up. Christopher lay back and Envy threw the covers over his head and the child started to giggle. "Okay, go to sleep now. River, watch over your brother and back him up if he needs it."
"Yeah, yeah…" River smirked, rolling her eyes.
Envy left the bedroom, turned off their light, and closed the door. Winry waited in the hallway with a smile. He wrapped her up in his arms and before she could say a word, swung her legs up and lifted her.
"Envy!" she hissed, and giggled. "Stop, put me down!"
"Nope," Envy smirked and carried her to the bedroom.
"NO!"
Winry was jolted awake. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She looked over at Envy, who was sitting up in bed covered in cold sweat. He was panting like he'd run a marathon in his sleep.
"Envy?" Winry sat up and put a hand against his cheek. He was ice cold. Envy stared blankly forward.
"I don't remember… never mind. Just a bad dream," he said, breathlessly, but he continued to stare ahead.
Then Winry felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. She looked around the room and realized Envy's shadow tendrils danced against the moonlight coming in through the window. He seemed to notice it too, because the tendrils were slowly returning to his body.
The last time she remembered seeing him use any of his homunculi abilities was years ago when he had battled for the world. Since then he had decidedly held one form and never seemed to make use of any of Pride's abilities.
Envy slowly looked over at her, and said, "Something's not right."
She could feel it too. A deep hollow feeling in the pit of her chest. Like dread but without a reason to anchor it; she didn't know where it was coming from.
She and Envy whipped off the covers and jumped out of bed. They rushed for the door and entered into the hallway, Envy ahead of her. There was a cool draft. Envy burst into the children's room and threw on the light.
Winry's eyes landed on two empty beds and an open window. She felt as though a fist closed around her chest. Envy stormed into the center of the room and looked around. Their eyes fell on the hourglass, which was lying in pieces off the side of the night stand. Glass and sand scattered across the hardwood floor like an odd jigsaw puzzle.
A whimper escaped Winry's throat. Where could they have gone? Did they go on their own or were they taken? How would she get them back? Where they safe?
Glass crunched under Envy's feet as he crossed the room. He stuck his head out the open window and peered around. He seemed to have come to some conclusion that he was not sharing with her. His body was tense. His hands gripped the window sill and Winry thought the wood might splinter.
"River!? Christopher!?" He bellowed into the night. Part of Winry hoped they were sneaking around in the yard. They had never done that before, but she desperately hoped they had. She knew in the back of her mind that was not the case.
"Please… no," Winry found the only two words that would escape her throat. "Please… no…"
Envy stood and slammed the window closed so hard the glass exploded in the frame. Winry's hands were trembling. When Envy turned to face her there was fire in his eyes she hadn't seen in 13 years. He brushed past her just as Edward came up the stairs looking confused. Envy's silence filled her with a vengeance.
"What's going on?" Edward said, but Winry pushed past him and called to Envy as he reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Wait," she said, her voice trembled slightly, but the coldness behind her words surprised her. Envy paused and glanced over his shoulder, a deep frown set on his face. She's not sure what drove her to say it: "If they've hurt them," she growled at Envy's back, "if they've even laid a finger on our children, I want you to make sure they pay for it – whatever it takes."
She could see a small curl of Envy's lips. He gave a small bow of his head, a delicate gesture of affirmation, and rushed out the front door.
Winry turned back to the children's room to see Edward standing in the middle of it looking back at her with wide golden eyes.
"Winry?" he breathed. "You're angry –,"
She balled her fists into her nightgown and growled, "Someone took my children!"
Edward was still staring at her, concern shadowed his golden eyes. "I understand that. But, Winry, you need to know Envy will take something like that seriously."
If you ask me to kill for you, I would. These were the words Envy had once spoken to her before they had defeated Father, further back even before Winry knew she would end up loving him.
"I hope he does," Winry replied, coldly. And before Edward could say another word, Winry stormed down the stairs to stare into the darkness. Even knowing Envy's inherent nature, she didn't regret her words. Maybe she would one day, but she couldn't deny the feeling of power inside her. It felt good to let Envy know she was behind his actions, and that he would protect their family – no matter the cost.
Edward rushed past her and into the night. Winry watched him go. She knew he'd try to help bring the children back, but she also knew he was also leaving to stop Envy before he did something regrettable.
Leonahari: I don't live on food or sleep. I do live on reviews. Please don't let me die. :)
