Mikan's P.O.V
When I woke up, the sky was a display of color. Red, pink, orange, its almost impossible to describe. It was so beautiful that a child like me felt so worthless. I couldn't bring anyone joy. All I could do was run, cry and screw up.
I laughed bitterly at the truth behind the words.
What good was a girl like me?
I had no use.
"Mikan-Chan, I'm here with your homework!" I hear the peppy voice of my pedogay teacher knocking at my door. I sigh, give the sunset one last look and make sure my scarf is in place. I take a deep breath and put the biggest smile I can manage on my face and open the door.
"Hello, Narumi-Sensei! You look good today!" I say with enthusiasm.
"Oh, thank you! Why weren't you in class today?" he asked, his voice full of concern.
"I was feeling very nauseous, but I think I was just tired, because I slept all day and I feel so much better now!" I say with a smile.
"That's good! If you don't feel good tomorrow, don't push yourself! Better to miss school then make your body weaker. You're a fragile girl, we wouldn't want you to break." he says happily as he plops the load of books in my arms.
"Thank you, have a good night," I say, and we part ways.
Fragile. I am not fragile. I'm not breakable. IM STRONGER THEN THEM. I grew up with my grandfather who demanded perfection. My mother is dead. My father is dead. I have no friends who actually give a shit about me and he calls me fragile.
I might be broken but im not fragile.
If only they all knew what I went through. The struggles. The pain. The rejection and depriving I feel. Then they would get it. It hurts so bad to pretend. Because you wear a smile while you suffer.
That night, I packed everything up. I took the pictures that I had with all of them. The pictures where, for a second, they pretended they liked me. I lit my lighter, and I watched them slowly burn.
Every single one of them.
I had one left. The one we took on Natsume's birthday. He said he hated the card and picture I got him, but I didn't. When I felt alone, I would hold onto that picture, hoping that it could go back to that. It never did, but I would never admit that to myself.
For some reason, I folded that picture and put it in my pocket.
Maybe it was for me, as a memory of what I never had. Or maybe it was because I still had a sliver of hope that maybe they really did like me. That maybe, just maybe, they would miss me while I was gone.
It wouldn't really matter, I wouldn't be around to see how the results ended.
By the time it was time for me to start getting ready, the room was clean and empty, except for my suitcases in the middle of the room. I got dressed in my uniform, and grabbed the homework that Narumi gave me.
I didn't do it. What were they going to do, expel me for it?
I looked in the mirror, wondering if anyone would notice I was wearing a scarf. In in April. No, I think I would be okay. My eyes wandered up to my face. I had big, brown eyes, flecked with gold, but they were so empty. I had a mouth the color of bubblegum, that was so sick of fake smiling. I had bags under my eyes from exhaustion. I had cheeks, a bit to hollow from stress.
No, I wasn't pretty. If there was any hope for that when at first, it was gone now.
I walked to the classroom, and sat down in my usual seat. I was very early, and that is what I had hoped for. I started writing a letter for Narumi to read to the class.
"Oi, Stupid, where were you yesterday?" asked Hotaru as she smacked my with her gun. I didn't deserve that! She did! She was the blackmailing witch.
"I wasn't feeling very good, so I stayed home." I said, rubbing my cheek where she had hit me.
"I didn't give you permission," she said.
I look up at her for a second. I want to hit her so badly. To just punch her over and over for all the times she has unfairly hit me. But I restrain myself so im not on her level.
"Sorry," I say, feigning apologeticness.
She sit down in the seat in front of me, and begins tinkering with her latest invention.
The classroom fills all the way up, and everyone is laughing and having fun. I continue writing the letter, until finally, when the teacher burst in the door, I am finished.
"Free period!" yells Narumi.
Everyone just continues doing what there doing.
I let my mind wander. I wonder where im going. I wonder if it will be better then here. Will I finally get a chance to be myself?
I let my mind process, for the first time, what Persona had said to me. I was practically his property, my tattoo's proved it. But why claim me? Why did he call me pretty? Why me of all people?
It just didn't make sense.
After class was over, I put the letter on Narumi's desk.
To: Narumi-sensei and class (read out loud tomorrow morning! Not any sooner or the surprise will be ruined.
From: Mikan-Chan
There, he wouldn't dare open it if it had anything to do with surprises. He would wait early, a smile on his face as he thought of all the possibilities it could be.
I went through the rest of the day, normally, except for I was just a little bit quieter. I still kept my cheery personality up, and my fake smile on.
I could do this, I didn't have much longer to wait.
Finally, night came. I grabbed my bags, and let my mind lead the way back to the garden. It wasn't long before I was standing at the wrought, iron gate. I opened it, and went inside, right by the lake again. This time, I would be departing from it.
"I see you chose the easy way. Good for you," said Persona. He grabbed my bags and led me away.
We reached a spot where a limo was waiting and he put the bags in the trunk and opened the door up to me. I stepped inside the spacious area and took in my surroundings. Fancy. Very fancy.
Persona got in next to me, and we took off. It was silent, except for the sounds outside and the quiet music humming in the background.
I thought that it would be hard to part from this place. I thought that leaving Gakuen Alice would sadden me, considering I had made it my home. But the farther away I got from it, the less I felt.
And as scary as it was, I didn't care.
I just didn't care anymore.
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