II
My life was definitely empty and with no meaning. Little did I knew that a miracle was to fall from the sky to my hands soon enough.
The following chapter was rewritten on the 3rd of March 2012
After that little depressive moment ended I went on to the gym. It managed to get my mind off my problems most times... While I worked out I usually thought of how good it would turn out for me and my body and forgot all the rest.
But it was more tiring than usual. I didn't know if it was due to my little crying session or to the fact that it had been a very boring day to me.
I exited the room sweating and panting.
"Seira-chan!" I heard someone yell. I then felt two arms involving me.
"Millie-chan..." I grunted in pain as the girl who had called me out loud embraced tight on the neck
Millicent Kasumoto was my best friend. We were together in elementary school but we ended up split when we passed onto middle school. Her father was Japanese, and her mother was British. That cross was noticeable on her features: despite being born with the same face as her father, her hair was brown, and her eyes were dark-blue. To boys who had a particular attraction for blue eyes she was a muse. At that time it was almost 12 years since we became friends. Not everyone can keep a relation for that long.
"So how has school been treating you?" She asked releasing me and always happy to see me.
I sent her a small smile wiping off the sweat from my forehead.
"Oh, you know, it's always the same crap… Humpf… private schools…" I told her as we went into our lockers to change "So how was your body combat lesson?"
"You should try it! Personally it would be good for someone like you!" said Millie giving me an advice, as she opened her locker and took out her bag.
"Maybe I should enter kickboxing, or even boxing!" I said opening my lock and wiping myself with a towel "Beating the shit out of someone sounds like fun."
"There you go with your violent tendencies…" said Millie with a drop on her head and wiping off her stretched and short hair that stopped at the end of her neck. How that hair always looked beautiful and shiny was beyond me.
"Guess that's just me…" I said dressing my jeans.
"So how are things with, oh you know… that guy?" asked Millie perversely while I finished tying the lace on my sneakers.
"Who?" I asked nervously
"Ohhhhh, that blush of yours is so cute!" said Millie pointing at my nose.
"You…" I mumbled as I looked away.
"So?" she asked still insisting.
"So, we hung up a little after school again…" I said pretending to be calm while dressing my blue t-shirt.
She closed up on me."And?" she asked still being persistent.
"And we talked…" I said still faking my calm tone and taking my white bag.
"About?" she asked picking up her green bag.
"Stuff…" I said with a neutral voice tone as we exited the gym.
"And that stuff was…" she insisted.
Boy was she sometimes a pain in the ass! I decided to be mean to her.
"Was something supposed to be just between him and me…" I said happily as I winked to her.
Millie was annoyed immediately.
"You know you're going to tell me sooner or later!" she protested as I laughed out loud.
"Really? Because I don't know if I actually will…" I said making her go "HUMPF!"
We exited and went to a magazine shop. My mp3 player was singing out loud in my ears.
"Green Day, I assume?" she asked always knowing what I was listening to even though it was so low.
"You practically know my mp3, girl!"I exclaimed happy.
"You sure identify yourself a lot with that style of music!"she said looking at me
"I don't know… It's just music that makes me feel younger that I already am."
"Oh, this year everyone is like mad!" said Millie reaching for the press.
"Hm?" I asked trying to see what she was talking about.
"Teen murders girlfriend with sulfuric acid." Said the headline.
"My God…" I commented a little shocked.
Millie placed the newspaper back on the shelf.
"Somebody ought to do the same thing to him…" said Millie walking out of the store with me.
After walking side by side with her, silently listening to my mp3 player, we eventually arrived at my apartment. I said goodbye to her and went to my apartment. My dad was already home watching TV.
"Hunny, you're here!" he said cheerfully
He called me hunny, because whenever I asked for honey as a kid I said that word. My father usually talked like that to me, but when we had fights it seemed the world was turned upside down. To me I was like a volcano, and my daddy was the deserted island where that volcano stood. I usually ended up feeling bad about the things I sometimes said at him.
"Yeah, I am!" I said petting him on the head as I passed on the sofa.
"How was gym?" he asked.
"Exhausting!" I answered like he was asking a dumb question.
"Get used to it, you can quit if it's too much for you!" said dad trying to pick on me.
"Nah, I like pushed up stuff!" I said heading to my room.
"Is everything going alright with you?" he asked after I opened the door to my room..
"Yes…" I answered, sounding doubtful though.
"You know if there's anything that bothers you… You know…" my father said insisting.
I turned my head and smiled to him."Thanks dad, you know I will!"
I entered my room and locked the door. It was being a good day for me and my dad. Who knew if we would be arguing tomorrow? I felt like talking to someone, indeed. But I needed to be a little alone at that moment.
Next day I walked to school a little late, due to the fact that I had overslept. When I got there I couldn't find Light anywhere. I headed to the bathroom, and looked into the mirror.
"She's a weirdo, I'm telling you!" said a disgusting yet familiar voice.
I looked around and saw nobody. Probably they were talking in separate cubicles.
"Minamoto-san, you mean ?" asked another voice
Ohhhh, whoever they were, they were gossiping about me. I heard the toilet flush. I quickly headed into an empty cubicle.
"She keeps to herself, yes." I recognized Hasuka Rena's voice.
"She's one of those emo/goth people, you know…" replied Takimura Sekino.
Takimura Sekino was one of the most popular girls in the school. She loved to talk on others behind their backs to feel better with her "all-perfect" self. It seemed the victim today was no other than me. Hasuka Rena was her best friend always being right her back and acting as her little puppy.
"Really?" asked Rena.
"I know those kinds of people, they usually smoke and slash themselves a lot!" said Sekino like she was a know-it-all.
True that I smoked a little, but I never slashed myself. I won't hide the fact that I had thought about it though. Many times I wondered how it would feel like, but never had the guts to burry a blade within my skin.
"She's suicidal! I'll bet with you that she's never going to make it 'till the exams!" laughed Sekino very cynical.
I was annoyed. Always insulting behind someone's back: that's how most women's minds works.
"Could that be that you're a little jealous because she's always with Yagami-kun?" said Rena picking on her.
Oh, now Light was brought into this. Why can't two people be friends without being the center of all of gossiping? It was what disgusted me in that school. I felt my fist shaking of frustration.
"Honestly I don't know what he sees in somebody like her! I mean, he's just too damn perfect to hang out with an ugly emo like her!"
I was feeling the tears coming to me. The way people talk without knowing of anything! It was disgusting!
"You think they're, you know… with each other?" asked Rena without being so sure of herself.
I blushed furiously. Nobody in that school couldn't do anything without being talked about on the next moment.
"Well, if they are it won't last long… You know how well I can seduce boys…" Sekino said with pride.
"They call you slut because of that, y'know?" Rena replied, reminding her of her reputation.
"They only call me that because I get what I want… ALWAYS!" she said cynically "And probably that girl wished she was me!"
I felt a growing urge to get out and punch her really hard in the face. Not even in my nightmares would I ever, EVER dream of being her! Even if I needed a body transplant or something she wouldn't definitely be on my list.
"She's a freak, that's for sure… You know that watching a mother being raped and killed in front of you can make you have killing tendencies…"
"Now you're being mean!" said Rena a little serious.
"But it's the truth… Some people don't last much in this world and she's going to be one of those people! You'll see how I'm right soon enough!"
"I'm feeling bothered!" said Rena angrily.
"Because I'm getting to the point! Some people don't live good lives such as me, and eventually, they die by killing themselves. She's different form us! She's not going to be anybody in life if she doesn't dress, act or hang out with us!"
"Sekino-chan, enough!" yelled Rena "I never imagined you could be so mean! Were you even thinking about the things you were saying just now? And you say you're pretty mature yourself!"
I felt like a huge piece of shit. How could anybody be so mean? How could people say those types of things like they were telling a joke? I contained a sob.
"And you know why Yagami-kun hasn't asked you out? Because like everyone he hears about the stuff you do when you dump somebody that isn't 'perfect enough' for you!"
I heard her exiting the bathroom, slamming the door very hard.
"You're going to apologize to me later anyway…" said Sekino like she was enjoying herself "You're as pathetic as that girl…"
And finally she exited. And so did I. I felt my face all wet and my eyes aching. I wiped them off quickly and kept my head down.
When I entered into class there was Light as always in the seat in front of me. When he noticed me he waved cheerfully to me. Thus all I did was ignoring him and taking my usual seat behind him. I lowered my face so my hair would cover the wet-red face. Immediately he turned back at me concerned.
"What happened?" he asked.
"I don't want to talk about it…" I answered a bit rudely to him.
"But…"
"Good morning class!" said the teacher as he entered. Light had to turn to the front.
The math class wasn't anything special, but maybe because I wasn't paying attention at all. I kept my head lowered and my hands in front of my eyes. Tears were jumping abundantly from my eyes, and falling on my notebook. Near the end of the class, we were doing some exercises in groups. Light immediately went to my side.
"Now you're going to tell me!" he whispered seriously concerned.
I looked to the window and wiped away another tear.
"Tell you what?" I asked playing dumb.
"Why you're face is all wet!" he demanded.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" I said trying to pull away the conversation.
"Stop playing dumb!" he said a bit annoyed at me "You're not dumb so stop playing like you are! Ok?"
"I don't…" I tried to tell him.
"You know you can tell me!" he said holding my left hand.
My eyes shined and became wetter. The warmth of his hands made mine sweatier.
"Light, I… I don't…" I said visibly disorientated.
"Minamoto-san, are you okay?" asked the teacher as he passed by and noticed my tears
"I am!" I answered with a sob.
"You're not!" he said seeing the obvious "Go down to the kitchens and drink some tea!"
"I'll go with her!" said Light standing up.
"It's okay!" I said standing up "I don't need an escort"
Light sat down not looking away from me though. Everybody's eyes were on me now. As I exited I noticed Rena looking at me concerned.
I descended to the grounds. I didn't need any tea, just some fresh air to calm me down. I didn't bother to buy some cigarettes last night, so I had to calm down naturally.
I looked up as a soft breeze made my loose hair flutter. Yes I decided to lose the braid I used to have. My glance then turned to the grass.
"I wish a miracle would just fall from the sky into my hands!" I said wishing the fantasies from fairytales were real.
I decided to walk around slowly. All of a sudden from nowhere I heard something fall behind me. I turned around and I saw a black notebook lying on the grass. I could have sworn that wasn't there minutes ago. Curiously, I walked to it and picked it up.
"Death Note" it said on the cover.
With a growing curiosity, I opened it. There were some "How to use" instructions in black pages, all written in English. Of course it wasn't any pain for me to read them.
But the first rule left me a little weirded out:
"The human whose name is written in this note shall die!"
