Wassup! DISCLAIMER:
I do NOT own Fairy Tail!
BTW, YES, STELLA'S AN ACTUAL COUNTRY OR KINGDOM IN EARTHLAND OR THE WORLD OF FAIRY TAIL.
Another BTW, sorry for the late chapter. *bow* My grandmother's computer broke and I had to let her use mines. Since I was sick last week and this week, she thought I had the plague and wouldn't let me near my computer during the day so I had to sneak it at night.
Last BTW, I was watching Fate/Zero when I was writing this so if this is too deep or something like that, sorry.
I walked out of my apartment with great sadness evident in my eyes. I added black, separate, kimono sleeves to cover up what I did to myself. My right arm was wrapped in bandages, but only was thing was missing...my whole hand. That's right, I cut off my own hand just because. I don't remember my reasoning for doing it, though. It's not like I need it, I can write just fine with my left hand and I could easily adapt to just having one hand, but...I just feel wrong inside.
Forgive My Lies
Chapter 2: Limbs and Beliefs
If I were to tell you I have life, and it wasn't my truth. If I were to blacken your heart just by words. If I were to hate you and beat you for something petty. Would your words stay the same as you said it before?
Back at Fairy Tail...
Natsu stands there, hurt and dumbfounded by Lucy's small betrayal of their team pack. His head is held down and shadows over took his eyes to where you could not see the shocked look that was plastered upon face. He clenched his fist with anger, trying to process what is a good reason for Lucy to not honor her word. It was a tiny betrayal, but Natsu knew that there has a good reason for her abandoning her word like that, he made himself think that.
"Eh, fire brain!" insulted a familiar and giveaway voice, "Where's Lucy, Erza said she has this job that she wants us to do with her," he is Gray Fullbuster, user of Ice Make magic and Ice Devil Slaughtering magic. The sound of Gray's voice snapped him out of his train of thoughts and excuses for Lucy leaving them like that.
Natsu's eyes looked dull and lifeless like he wasn't even in this world at all, "Lucy?" he said in a daze, "Oh..., she said she going on some dangerous job she probably wouldn't come back from…alone," his voice was soft and quiet like he didn't even know what he was saying. Noticed Natsu's dizziness, well Natsu has always been dizzy, but never this dizzy.
Gray then process Natsu's answer in his head, "Wait..." he sighed like he understood exactly what Natsu said, "ARE YOU SAYING THAT LUCY JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND JUST SAID BYE!? WITHOUT LETTING US KNOW!" Gray looked like he was in a panic. Gray knew Lucy just as much as Natsu, and he knew that Lucy would at least showed it to Erza and ask if they could do the job or something like that.
Due to Natsu's sensitive ears, his yelling sounded like someone just dropped a microphone and his ear was right next to the amp. He massaged his ear through the duration of Gray's panic yelled, making him just think about kicking Gray's ass all over the floor, "SHUT UP JERK! WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN' DO?! MAKE ME DEAF OR SOMETHIN'?!" he shouted back at Gray. Soon enough, he becomes panicked that Lucy is on a dangerous mission on her own, "Damn! Where's Mira?" he asked himself, but soon found her at the bar.
Natsu and Gray appeared in front of Mira in an instant, "MIRA, WHERE'S LUCY!" they shouted in chorus. Mirajane Strauss, elder sister and the beautiful angelic demon of the Fairy Tail guild. Mirajane looked at them with her usual happy-go-lucky smile, not even fazed by Natsu and Gray's sudden appearance, nothing can scare Mira.
Mirajane answered, "Hello, Natsu and Gray. I haven't seen Lucy today, so I wouldn't know," she answered. If Mirajane wasn't Mirajane, her smile may have come off creepy to most of the guild members, including Natsu and Gray, "Though, I saw her exiting after Gajeel left," Mirajane replied, pointing to the huge french doors that is used for exiting and entering the guild.
"L-Lucy, you..." not a word came of comfort came from Gajeel's mouth, "What in the hell did you do!?" Gajeel asked in a strict voice. His eyes widen with shock and fear, guilt flooding through his veins. His eyes landed on the place where her small hand is supposed to be, but there wasn't anything but a stump of flesh and bone with scarlet red bandages with blood dripping down onto the brick road in secondly intervals.
Lucy shifted her arm in front of her body so Gajeel couldn't see. Gajeel stared at her back, which is covered in her gothic clothes, "Gajeel," Lucy's lips slipped into a small smile before turning around to face him and finally look him in the eye. When her feet turned her in a circle, she still couldn't look at his guilty and shocked face. She closed her eyes with her small smile, "I'm stupid and sorry,"
"And I won't cry," Lucy declared. She squeezed her eyes in a vain effort. Gajeel could feel something wet hit his cheek a second before Lucy turned to behind him. It was invisible to his eyes, but he knew exactly what it was...a tears of relief, "Let's go, we need to travel to Stella after we get Rogue, right? It's a long road so let's hurry," Lucy brought her hand to to her eyes then quickly slashed her hand back to her side.
"LUCY!" shouted out a hoarse voice. His roaring voice calms Lucy down for some reason. It was sweet and threatening, she could feel the love that was in his voice, "What are you talking about?! You're not going anywhere are you?" Natsu continuously asked. Natsu's eyes started to widen, "Tell me you're wrong. After everything we went through together. The guild, your friends. What in the hell are you going to say to them if you die?!" Natsu clenched his fist as the brick below him started to melt with his rising anger.
"Natsu..." she whispered. If I die? No Natsu, I will die, it's certain, "I'm glad you're here," Lucy looked over the right shoulder where Natsu could see her nonexistent hand, "I'm tired of walking this path," she smiled. Her smile was pained to see. Her eyes in a light arc closed because of the pain she seen, "I've walk this world too long, three hundred years is too much." Lucy moved her lower arm until it was near her face, "A monster doesn't deserve to where that honorable crest, not when death is caused by their existence."
Natsu was very very confused, but certain about one thing, she had cut off the pride that she held so dear. Her Fairy Tail emblem, dabbed with the blush color of a pink sunset of a sakura petal, it was now gone, "Lucy...no, you didn't," Natsu's eyes went cold and furrowed his eyebrows, "Tell me you didn't get rid of your guild mark!" Natsu commanded an shouted.
Lucy lowered her head and started at her handless arm with remorse, "What's the point of a mark? Is it just to serve loyalty, or is it something less trivial? For, perhaps, hate? Natsu, I'm tired of living, but you have to stay away," Lucy lowered her arm and clenched her left fist, "I'm not sure if my father's decree will able you to live," she quivered at the very thought of any of her friends being killed because of her, "I can't bear it," she murmur into the air. She crossed her arms and place her left hand on right forearm. She seeked closure and security within those feeble moments, "I can't bear the idea of having you or anybody else killed because of me."
Natsu walked closer to her with an understanding, yet confused face, "Your father, Lucy, didn't he pass?" Natsu asked, trying as calmly and sympathetically as Lucy starts to panic a bit.
Lucy trembled and quickly lift her head up to look at him, "Don't you get it, IDIOT!" Lucy yelled at him with frustration, before he had time to answer, Lucy shouted, "Jude is not my goddamn father!" Lucy heaved in and out, processing what she just said. Natsu's face looked even more shocked. Lucy shook her head at the clueless idiot and looked like she was about to yell something else at him.
Lucy was stopped by two pairs of hands, "Shut up, Lucy. We can't let anyone know. You may not care because you aren't going to be yourself, but we sure as hell do," a cold and black voice murmured in her ear. Lucy turned her head to see Rogue glaring at her with blood red eyes. She looked as non-amused as ever. She took all four of the hands that were on her mouth off. She turned around and started dragging them to the train station, no even a second thought crossed her mind.
The train started to run on the crisscross tracks that lead the way. I'm going back to Stella, eh? Lucy thought, as she leans against the glass window pane in a daze. Her mind fills with images and flashbacks of her time at Fairy Tail. I didn't even get to say goodbye to anyone and I left Natsu confused. Some friend I am. Lucy turned to look at Gajeel and Rogue arguing over probably nothing.
Rogue was seated next to Lucy while Gajeel sat across from Rogue, "Where the hell were you?!" Gajeel exclaimed while pointing his index finger to him, "Your little sister cuts off her hand and has to yell at her little boyfriend to leave her the hell alone. And you just waltz up in here and put your hand over her mouth without even considering what the fuck was even going on!"
Rogue was annoyed by this lecture he was getting from Gajeel, "Idiot, I was on my way here since this morning to get you two so we can get to Cosimo-San," Rogue glared at Gajeel with similar red eyes. The two brothers were stuck in a staring competition. Lucy could only find amusement out of the two. She couldn't help but smile at the two. Even though they were her adoptive brothers, she felt as if they were finally together in peace and finally not trying to kill each other.
"We're finally together again," she murmured, not noticing she said that out loud. This caught the attention of the two red-eyed brothers. They look surprised once they heard that, "And I'm so glad," Lucy smiled a bit with a little too much sparkle in her eyes. Her words put a grin their faces. We have battled and beaten each other until we spit out blood, but now we can actually act like real siblings and we don't have to hide anything...at least I don't.
Rogue nodded his head slightly as a sign that he agreed to Lucy's happiness, "But," Lucy interrupted the touching moment, "We won't be together for long," Lucy pulled her arm up with the missing hand that was wrapped in bandages. She gripped the one of the bandages and ripped it off her skin. It was confirmed to her, her hand was gone. With one tiny whim, she hoped that these bandages were just a just a mirage with something greater behind it then just a dry, cruel desert.
Yet it wasn't a mirage etched onto her limb, it was a phrase. 'しんじないでください'. Do not trust. That's what it said. It was written in a staining red scarlet. There was only one thing that could describe the kanji engrave upon her pale skin, "Soon, I will no longer exist," Lucy whispered, "My memories will end up in a place nor Hell nor Heaven. I will be forgotten by you and everyone else. Which is why I can't make anymore bonds, insanity shall cloud my mind in that endless blackened void."
"And I will not trust anyone."
