Chapter 2, Schuld gehört

I walked home, hoping he wouldn't pop out at any second, if he did I would go insane, what did he want from me, what did he say to me? Could I say mother if she knew what he said, I had what he said down pact in my memory, fresh, and vivid, like our encounter was ever engraved in my mind. Something I couldn't escape, I didn't know French, yet how I could I recognize where his words began an ended, and where the sentences ended, the entire thing gave me a feeling of foreboding that I hoped Father Paul's prayers would cure. Just to be sure I sent a prayer to God about helping me and helping Father Paul help me.

As I walked back into the house and put my boots in the kitchen, we weren't allowed to walk around the house with muddies boots, mother enjoyed clean floors. My eyes must have read of the internal conflict that was going on inside of me, and as soon as Grace saw me, her being the sympathetic yet impatient one, asked me what was wrong.

"Arbeitkraft, what's wrong, I hate to see anyone like this, it irritates me. So please for the love of Mary, tell me what's wrong." I knew she sounded short with me, but deep down I knew she cared.

"It is nothing Grace, I just had a some-what eventful walk to mass this morning. So, how is lunch coming along?" I tried and succeeded at distracting Grace, so she went about the soup she was making, and the chicken she had on the spits, and how Ana and her had beaten the William and Kurt at sliding across the dining room floor in their stockings. None of the latter being lady like in the least bit. As I listened I began to roll the bread dough. Ana was chopping some more celery to put into the soup, and Grace was spinning the spit, and mother was cleaning the dining room. The only one of the men who I knew was doing something was Friddrick and he was most likely selling produce in one of our shops in one of London's markets. As for the rest of my brothers, I assume they were lurking about the house looking for things to fix, or lying outside somewhere, on a tree root, as not to get muddy, or maybe even helping father in the fields. Father was for sure helping a servant do this or that, or maybe even working the fields himself, or in another one of shops in London selling in another part of London, hoping to make more money by selling in a different shop than Friddrick.

An hour later we finished making Lunch and called Kurt, William, and John. Mother joined us a bit later. We all ate in silence as we did; it was simply how we ate. I looked up to my mother, at the end of the table, and back down at my food, it was obvious to me that I couldn't tell my mother, finding out that your pregnant the same time a demon comes to your village isn't exactly the best omen, so I kept my mouth shut. Not saying a word.

For weeks my schedule resumed normalcy, I cooked meals, cleaned, talked with my siblings, wrote Charlotta for Friddrick, and translated her letters for him. It was all they had until spring.

Finally, one day it was sunny, so I put on my blue dress, my leather boots, and went outside with a new book mother had bought while she was in town. It was called "God's Heart, what we must do" it was written by an Irish monk in the late 13th century and I was hoping it would tell me of another way to serve the Lord.

I was barely paying attention to the road but the next thing I knew I had bumped into someone; I was for sure that the person felt cold, not normal, but then I saw the pale hand, holding a single purple rose.

"Un beau s'est levé pour un beau femme, je rassemblera la dette." He smiled at me, picked up my hand from my side, kissed it, and left, leaving the purple rose in my hand. I knew the meaning of a purple, but it couldn't be, maybe the French had different meanings for each color, maybe he was confused, but the way he smiled at me…made me want some sort relieve, like I was afraid of what my reaction to the demon might be.

This time I knew I had to speak with my mother… there was no way I could… that was too self-centered of me, I couldn't, she was pregnant, maybe after the baby was five, after most of the newborn, and toddler stress was gone. Or maybe by then my parents would've sent me away to convent, then I'd be surrounded by the Lord all the time, and no demon could even come near me.

I stopped leaving the house, and I never saw him, maybe he only existed in the woods, and couldn't leave, maybe God had trapped the demon there and somehow I had awoken him. So, I was possibly cursed for forever? Or until the day I died, or maybe I had somehow lost my salvation by awakening the demon and I was going to be damned to hell. I kept my nose buried in my books, rereading stories, or just letters a thousand times over, my work ethic improved. I continued to translate and write letters for Friddrick as well translate and read his letters from Charlotta, idle hands were indeed the devil's play things, for I had not seen hide nor hair of my fair skinned French demon since I busied myself with anything and everything.

§§

Charlotta and Friddwulfa were arriving this morning, I had gotten dressed, in my white dress with its silver tassels, as you may have noticed, I do enjoy silver, as I also had my necklace on. I was wearing my flat white shoes, my sisters, mother, and I couldn't wear high-heels, and we were tall enough as is.

We went down to the nearest docks, waiting for their ship from France to arrive, they had taken a trip, on land, from Germany to France, then took a boat from a La Havre's port to the port a few miles south of our village. It was the fastest way from my mother's home to our village. When they got off the boat Charlotta practically ran off the boat trying to get to Friddrick, very un-lady like, but romantic none-the-less. Aunt Friddwulfa walked off the boat lady like, and carried the same awe-inspiring amount of grace my mother had. My aunts blond hair was bound tight to her head, and she was wearing a pastel green dress with a light blue shawl draped over her shoulders. Charlotta was wearing a red dress, with no shawl, and her was bound tight as well, but with some of it let loose in the back yet curled, it was gorgeous, I felt bad about my hair just plainly sitting on my shoulders, though I took pride in my dress, the materials of our dresses being equal. My mother was simply wearing a cheap brown cotton dress, and the baby was already showing, but even in that plain brown dress, mother looked equal to Aunt Friddwulfa, just as much elegance, grace, and pride. Though I was a little bit embarrassed at that moment, I was still proud of my mother, she needed nothing to be great, ok so there was also a twinge of envy.

Aunt Friddwulfa lost her regal appearance and hugged mother passionately, mother hugged her back strongly, they were talking but I didn't hear what aunt Friddwulfa was saying, and strangely enough my father joined in on the conversation, so it wasn't in German, odd. I guess I was the only person who noticed this, most likely because everyone else was talking to Charlotta, or brooding on the outskirts like Kurt.

I tried scooting closer to hear their conversation, and it partially worked but all I heard was, "Arbeitkraft is," and I missed what they said I was, "She does need a husband, that prayer was so sweet," and even strangely enough I heard them say "such a pretty girl, would be a shame, but I guess it's with her namesake." What, me a pretty girl?! Have they ever taken a moment to take in all my qualities? To see how they don't flow, how different they are? Are they drunk?

Father, mother and Aunt Friddwulfa all turned around and started walking to the group of children, so I followed behind them, what did they mean, such a shame, what did they mean, and the only reason I'm assuming it's me, other than the obvious, is that they referenced a prayer, and obviously no one but mother or myself said prayers, someone had obviously overhead me. Maybe I was mistaken when I heard the door, maybe someone was there, and I had no idea. And my namesake? So they all knew, they knew my name, and yet they wouldn't tell me? I decided to bury such thoughts from my mind, the house would be busier with two more people, and more chances not to re-read books, but still keep my hands busy.

We had brought three different carriages, one for Aunt Friddwulfa, mother, and father, one for William, Kurt, John, Ana, Grace, and me, and one for Friddrick and Grace. They had spent months apart, so it was the least we do could do for them, giving them privacy. As we rode along, my other siblings speaking to each, talking about Charlotta and Friddick's soon to happen wedding, and know how rich my Aunt Friddwulfa was, Charlotta's dowry had to be very large. I also pondered about the man, maybe it was safe to go the woods tomorrow, alone, since my 2nd with encounter with the demon, Father Paul had brought me two and from mass, we told my mother and father that I had simply seen some rather rough looking men on the trail. It was good enough for them. Maybe tomorrow, after serving breakfast, I could go out and read again. I was hopeful; maybe I could even be idle and think to myself for awhile without doing anything.

I went home, and straight to the kitchen, my mother wasn't to join, for she was the lady of the house and had to entertain the guests, William, and Kurt went to get firewood, and John being the youngest, stayed in the sitting room with Friddrick, mother, father, Aunt Friddwulfa, and Charlotta. He was to be on his best behavior. As Ana, Grace, and I worked on making the large meal, including salads, roasted suckling pig, French onion soup, and a thick crème sauce mixed with broccoli spread over lightly toasted bread. We worked long and hard, Ana and Grace getting a little irritated each and every time someone laughed or talked loudly from the sitting room. Of course it was always hard working while others enjoyed conversations and laughs, and relaxed, but it was worth when people exclaimed about how good the meal was, and though they would give credit to the hosts of the night, father and mother, we would contently know that this was our hard work that they were praising.

After preparing the meal, and getting servants to send it out to the table, all three of us went to our room to get ready, putting on our best clothes, though I did little more change into my baby's breath blue dress and I left my hair on my shoulders, not knowing what else to do with it. And so we went downstairs.

The smell hit me first, we had obviously done a very good job on cooking, but then I noticed something, there was a man, sitting to father's right, he was pale, red eyes, white teeth, black hair… it was him! I…I…but before I knew he was next to me.

But still speaking in French, "Ainsi je comprends que vous allez par le nom d'Arbeitkraft, il ne semble pas assez beau pour un comme toi." He picked up my hand yet again and kissed it. Ana and Grace were trying their best to act like ladies, but a few giggles escaped them.

"Ah, ladies, Innokenity has bought some land on the outskirts of our village, it seems as though he making a farm that will try to rival mine, but for now we shall act as kind neighbors. He shall join for dinner this evening, if that doesn't bother anyone." As my father was sitting back down after his announced, I swore he winked at me.

I stuttered, "So Inno…Inn...Innokenity, Parlez-vouz anglias?" (Do you speak English?)

"Yes, yes I do Arbeitkraft, now please would you come and sit by me?" I turned to notice that the chair beside his was empty. And how could my family not be uncomfortable around him? The red eyes! The unusually white teeth, like porcelain, and even the cold aura that surrounded him. Shouldn't someone have a rosary? Some holy water or something? Call Father Paul, or I don't know, shun the demon from our home, our village?

I stumbled as I sat down, a little bit embarrassing, but I was beyond afraid, I was talking to the Lord constantly through dinner, hopefully the Lord wouldn't abandon my family for letting such an abomination into our home. Innokenity kept look at me all through dinner, even trying to get me talk, though most of the conversation fluttered around wedding plans, pregnancy, and farms. But the way Innokenity kept looking at me, it was like he was trying to figure out something about me, something that would make something all better. Maybe he wanted to kill me, romance me first, get me to trust him, and then send me to the deepest parts of hell, where the devil himself would personally torture me. No, I wasn't that important.

After what seemed to be an eternity dinner was over, and everyone left but Innokenity and I, he had held my hand and kept me from leaving.

"Bonne nuit, belle," he then kissed my forehead, my mind rejecting it out of disgust and hatred, "and by the way, I shall call you Célestine, much more befitting."

I heard him say his good-byes to everyone, and before Ana or Grace could bombard me with question about Innokenity, I went to bed, but not without a prayer.

"Dear Lord, Please, please give me strength to refuse this Innokenity. He is a vile demon sent from the devil, I pray for protection upon the household, I pray that You do not abandon us for allowing him in our home, for my parents must not have known better. I would forever give up my earlier request of a husband, if you would make him leave, that is all I ask of you, make him." And I was for certain that I heard the door open, and shut again, maybe my parents were listening yet again, I put that thought off, "Amen."

End of Chapter Two/Zwei/Duex