iAm Confused
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Chapter Two – Cold Light of Day
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Sam woke to a wall of dark hair. She blinked and rolled onto her back, stretching carefully so as not to hit Carly and lay staring up at the ceiling.
"Hey Carls, you awake yet?"
Carly, who was lying on her front, groaned in response and buried her head deeper into the pillow. "My brain's going to implode."
"I did tell you not to drink so much, it'll be better soon." Carly groaned again and twisted onto her side so she could see Sam. "Did you want to talk about something?"
"I... kissed Freddie last night."
"I know; I was there... more or less."
"I kissed him three times."
"Oh," Carly flopped onto her back and pulled the sheets up over her head. Sam ducked beneath the fabric after her and fidgeted nervously, picking at the sheet covering the mattress.
"So, is this your way of trying to tell me that you and Freddie are a couple now?"
"No! I... I blew up at him and told him I didn't want him, I don't even know why I got so mad."
"Do you want me to apologize to him for you?"
"No. I'm hoping he won't even remember it, but, the thing is, I don't think he was actually drunk, or not that drunk anyway."
"Is that why you got angry, because he was deceiving you?"
"Maybe, I think I just suddenly realised what I was getting myself in to and I panicked. You know better than anyone that I'm not good at maintaining relationships."
"I'm confused Sam, do you want to get with Freddie or not?"
"I'm confused too." Sam mumbled, looking down. Carly automatically shuffled over and curled her arms around Sam, rocking her gently.
"It's just so easy with Freddie. I kiss him before I even realise what I'm doing."
"I'm sure it'll all work out."
"I think I messed up. I've never seen Freddie so... so broken."
"Shh," Carly cooed, rubbing her arms soothingly.
Their quiet moment was interrupted by a knock on Carly's bedroom door and they scrambled out from under the sheets, emerging just as Freddie stepped into the room.
He stopped in the doorway and raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, morning Freddie." Carly chirped "I'm going... somewhere," she announced, climbing out of the bed, "and maybe die," she added, holding her hands to her head.
"It'll pass Cupcake" Sam reassured, patting Carly's arm as the brunette circled past Freddie to get to her door. Freddie sat in Carly's place and Sam sat up.
"Hey," he smiled.
"Hey," Sam replied cautiously.
"Can I ask you something and get an honest answer?"
"Uh, sure?"
"Did I do anything stupid last night? I don't remember much, except... did we dance?"
"Just once, and no, you didn't do anything stupid."
"That's a relief. I was worried a video of me would show up on SplashFace or something."
Sam went deathly pale and her eyes widened in horror. She'd never thought of that when she'd let him kiss her in public, at a crowded party, full of teenagers with phones.
"You okay Sammie? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I'm fine, I'm fine, and don't call me Sammie."
"Sorry."
"Is Spencer up?"
"He's in the kitchen cooking pancakes for you and Carls,"
"I knew I loved him."
"Your little crush making a comeback?"
"No." Sam stated as if she thought that was the stupidest question ever. "I'm going down." She added, tumbling out of the bed and making a beeline for the door. "Aren't you going to change, Carly'll be mad if you get syrup on your dress."
"I'll apologise really sweetly." Sam shrugged, bouncing through the doorway. Freddie rolled his eyes and got up to follow her, Carly appearing soon after.
-o-
"For goodness' sake Sam, what's the matter?" Carly burst out after ignoring Sam's restless sighing for over half an hour.
Sam looked up like a deer in headlights and ducked behind the counter. Carly slid off her stool and circled around, coming to sit on the floor beside her.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Sam wordlessly held her phone out to Carly. She had been watching a video on SplashFace; a video of the kiss she and Freddie had shared in the middle of the dance floor the previous night.
"Wow," Carly commented, "really going at it aren't you?"
"Carly!"
"Well, you are. It's pretty obvious you want each other."
"That's the problem. I know I should be glad that Freddie doesn't remember last night, especially the argument, but... I'm not."
Carly held her arm out and Sam shifted into her side, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder.
"Give it a week or two, see if Freddie remembers anything. If he doesn't, talk to him, remind him."
"What if he hates me?"
"He won't. Freddie's a good guy, he'll listen to you." Carly reassured her, kissing the side of her head.
"Thanks Carls, you're a great friend."
-o-
The front door opened and Spencer and Freddie entered; the elder carrying three pizza boxes and the latter balancing a stack of DVDs.
"Girls?" Spencer called, looking around as he placed the food on the table.
"We're here." Carly replied as she and Sam stood up from behind the counter and walked into the living room.
Seeing as it was gone noon and none of the trio were really up to much, Spencer had suggested that they have a quiet evening in.
The teenagers curled up on the sofa, Freddie in the middle of the two girls, whilst Spencer set up the DVD and sprawled out in the chair nearest the kitchen.
Carly curled up in her corner of the couch, resting her head atop a cushion on the arm.
Sam stretched out with her legs thrown over Freddie's lap; his hands settled comfortably on her bare skin and she mentally cursed herself for forgetting that things were awkward between them as she absently accepted the pizza Spencer handed her;
"One for Sam and one for Carly and Freddie" he smiled.
-o-
Two movies later, the empty pizza boxes abandoned on the floor and Sam's legs were no longer over Freddie's lap, but her whole body was curled against his side, his arm around her shoulders. She could feel Spencer watching them from the corner of his eye and she sank further into the couch and so into Freddie.
As soon as the movie finished Spencer turned the TV off and switched the radio on, setting it to a station playing soft music.
"Carly, come with me to get smoothies." He said.
"I..." Carly glanced at her two best friends; Sam looked back with an uneasy but reassuring smile.
"Okay." Carly replied, standing and following her brother out of the apartment.
The remaining members of the iCarly team stayed sitting in silence for a while until Freddie spoke.
"Sam?" he began, rubbing her arm.
"Yeah?" she turned her face towards him, and they were almost nose to nose.
"You know that dance we shared last night?"
"Mmhm"
"Can we do it again? I don't really remember it, and I'd like to."
Sam's instincts told her that staying so close to him was a very bad idea, and yet she nodded and allowed him to pull her from the couch and wrap his arms around her.
She hesitantly placed her arms over his shoulders, clasping her hands loosely behind his neck.
When the song they were dancing to ended, replaced by another, Freddie didn't seem to notice; he slowly but steadily tightened his hold, inching her forward.
Sam noticed but was unsure if he was doing it intentionally or not and not wanting to draw his attention, she said nothing, simply resting her head on his shoulder. She heard him swallow and felt his chest lift and fall as he took a deep breath.
"These moments with you, they're the best; because... you don't let your walls down very often and it's nice to know that I matter to you as much as you matter to me." He spoke the words softly and sincerely, voice solemn.
Sam killed all pretences of dancing then and pressed herself flush against him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.
His arms wound around her, crushingly tight.
"I love you" he vowed.
"You remember everything don't you?"
Freddie didn't get a chance to reply as the front door opened and Carly backed into the room, mid argument with Spencer.
"I just think-" she turned around and spotted them "Oh, um." She fell silent.
Sam, her face ashen, was held fast in Freddie's grip.
"It's okay." He whispered.
Sam slowly relaxed and turned to look at Carly over her shoulder. Carly smirked back at her.
"You two seem cosy" she commented sweetly.
Freddie lifted Sam up and walked over to the siblings, setting her down beside her best friend.
"So you decided to go for it?"
"Yeah" Sam answered quietly, almost sounding afraid and Freddie moved behind her, circling his arms around her waist.
"I'm so happy for you." Carly squealed, bouncing forward to hug them.
"Photo opp!" Spencer yelled, grabbing Carly's camera from the table and focusing in on the trio with their arms around each other, Sam sandwiched in the middle.
"Smile!"
Spencer placed the camera back on the table and Carly pulled away, dancing into the kitchen.
"So where are our smoothies?" Sam enquired.
"Oh, uh"
"We didn't get them," Carly called, "Spencer got distracted chasing a cat."
"It stole my glove!" he whined. Carly rolled her eyes and he shrugged, running into his room. Freddie kissed the back of Sam's head and dived onto the couch. She smiled at him, rolling her eyes and joining Carly in the kitchen. The two girls returned to the couch soon after, Sam slurping from a mug of hot chocolate and Carly with two iced teas, one for Freddie and one for herself. She set his drink down on the table in front of him and coiled into the corner of the couch opposite him. Sam flopped down between them and threw her legs over Carly's lap, her head landing on Freddie's shoulder.
"I need a nap," she announced, closing her eyes. Freddie smiled at Carly over his girlfriend's head and the brunette grinned back, turning the TV on and setting the volume to low.
Several minutes later Sam's phone began vibrating so Carly fished it out of the blonde's pocket and checked the text.
Just saw a very interesting video on SplashFace. Call me NOW!
Carly shook Sam lightly and got a disgusted grunt for her efforts.
"What?"
"Tasha wants you to call her. I think she saw that vid of you and Freddie on the web."
Sam groaned and pulled a cushion over her face.
"What video?" Freddie asked, obviously confused.
"You and Sam making out last night."
"Oh. Cool." He smirked.
Sam smacked the side of his head with her cushion and snatched her mobile from Carly, punching Tasha's number in with more force than necessary.
"Hey Shar – Yeah, it is, - that's blown over now – actually, we're... together. - *laughter* - okay - you too, see you."
"Tasha says congratulations." Sam informed her sofa-mates.
"Aww." Carly cooed.
"Hush up Shay," Sam laid her head against Freddie's chest and closed her eyes once more. Carly and Freddie stayed quiet, letting her sleep.
-o-
Sam woke an hour later when Freddie shifted her to stand up. She looked around to see his mother standing in the doorway.
"S'up crazy?" She mumbled sleepily. "Sam!" Freddie hissed and she laughed, reaching her arms out to him. He took her hands and pulled her upright.
"Isn't there something you want to tell your mother?" she asked.
"He already told her while you were still asleep." Carly said.
"Oh." Sam raised an eyebrow. "So how come she hasn't screamed yet?"
"Samantha, I... well if you... you make Freddie happy so, welcome." Mrs Benson nodded awkwardly and turned on her heel, escaping the apartment.
Sam collapsed into a fit of giggles, falling onto her back and kicking her legs in the air. Freddie grimaced and then his expression turned calculating. Without warning he burst forward, pinning Sam beneath him on the couch.
"What the hell?" she exclaimed.
Freddie chuckled and pressed a kiss to her lips, smoothing her hair back behind her ear.
"I have to go home," he told her.
"Okay," she curled a hand around one of his forearms and pressed the other flat against his chest.
Carly found that watching her two best friends kissing was a little like observing a car crash; fascinating at the time but the images would scar her for life. Tearing her gaze away she darted up the staircase to change into her pyjamas.
Sam and Freddie broke apart and he pressed his lips softly against her forehead. She pushed him away roughly, "We've had enough mush for one night," she scoffed.
Freddie smiled at her as he backed out of the door. "See you tomorrow Miss Seattle,"
"See ya Nub Nub"
Sam just caught the roll of Freddie's eyes as he shut the door. She smiled.
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