Beta'd by the amazing cant-write-poetry.

Chapter 2


Gaara, huh? Gaara…Subaki? Subiki? Sabiki?

Naruto sighed and pushed the guitar firmly back onto the floor after having promptly tried and failed to decipher the messy handwriting on the side of the hard, black case. There was no phone number that Naruto could see, but at least there was an address, though it had been written in the same illegible scrawl. The blonde man had spent the best part of an hour peering at the text and so far had only managed to give himself a throbbing headache and decrypted the first word: his name. So Naruto had been forced to enter Tenten's room and ask his roommate for assistance. After manoeuvring through a sea of junk, he had reached the woman who was lying on her bed in a vest top and a pair of Naruto's own boxers; reading (sorry, fantasising over) a Victoria Secret's catalogue. Naruto had stood awkwardly next to the woman.

"You're just staring at all the hot women in that, aren't you?"

"Yup," Tenten had responded and turned onto the next page. "Problem?"

Naruto had shrugged in reply and thrust the guitar case into the brunette woman's lap. Tenten had taken a hasty look at the writing and then quickly scribbled out a neater version of the address. Naruto had been left gaping and wishing to punch that pleased smirk of the brunette's face after she had turned back to stare dreamily at the underwear-clad women. Naruto had rolled his eyes. The one advantage of being gay and living with a lesbian; you never had to compete over potential sexual partners.

So now the blonde man, fiddling with his fingers, checked and doubled checked the address on the small piece of card before peering up at the small house. The building seemed nice, attached to a row of identical houses in a seemingly pleasant neighbourhood (although, it was slightly more opulent than Naruto had expected from a young man). Clearly the redhead had received a generous helping hand from wealthy parents. Or, he had tried to do what Naruto had originally done: attempt to cram fifteen eager teenagers into a space that really should only fit five.

Nonetheless, despite whatever Gaara had done to afford this accommodation, he probably still lived with a housemate and Naruto prayed to God that this friend of Gaara's knew when to keep their mouth shut and understood what a closed bedroom door often implied. Naruto couldn't remember how many times Tenten had barged into his room uninvited, demanding he 'pop down to the shop' or some other shit, only to find Naruto bending a whimpering man over his desk. Thankfully, Tenten had quickly learnt to control the shocked screech that had originally left her mouth at the sight in exchange for a sigh, a cocked brow and a bored shrug before swiftly leaving the occupied room.

The guitar case that had prompted the men's second meeting was attached to his back and Naruto dreaded to think how out of tune the instrument must have been; Naruto had been knocked and shoved countless times on his journey here. It seemed that in London, no matter where he was headed, everyone always walked in the opposite fucking direction to him. And consequently he always had to battle his way through, elbowing strangers and cursing as he went. But he was finally here now - finally walking up the three stairs and knocking stiffly on Gaara's door.

Gaara. The name still felt foreign on his tongue. Not that it really mattered though. A few hopeful prayers and if everything turned out well, Naruto could easily forget the name and carry on with his life in a few weeks' time; with the added bonus of tallying another virginity he'd taken to his growing list.

The door opened a crack, and a pair of blue-green eyes peered at Naruto through the few inches of open door; the bright irises contrasted with the darkness cast throughout the rest of the house behind him.

Naruto smiled. "Hey! Gaara, right?"

The redhead nodded slowly.

"So like, we met two days ago on the tube," Naruto conveniently left out the part about grinding against his ass. "You left your guitar with me at the bus stop and well, I figured you'd want it back."

"You brought it back to me?" The door opened wider and this time a pale face filled with hope emerged. The redhead bit his bottom lip, looking almost anxious before his face filled with relief at the sight of the black case and his stiff posture relaxed slightly. Naruto edged one step closer to Gaara and shifted to remove the heavy case from his back.

Once the object rested against the doorframe, Naruto rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms above his head. He'd purposely chosen a shirt a tiny bit too small, so when the material rode up, revealing a toned lower stomach and a gentle trail of blonde hairs, Naruto couldn't help but smirk. Especially when he noticed Gaara's eyes flicker down and then back up again. Judging by the way the man's gaze had lingered on the naked skin…it was safe to say that Gaara had probably liked what he had seen.

Naruto cocked an eyebrow at the redhead and carried on. "Sure I did! Wasn't gonna just leave it there, was I, sweetie?"

An acquainted flush overcame Gaara's face before his perfect lips quirked into a half-smile and all evidence of his previous blatant staring disappeared. "Thank you. Oh my God, thank you so much! Kankuro would have killed me if I'd lost it; it was his guitar back when...back when he still played. Can't believe I was so stupid to leave it behind. You didn't have to bring it back to me, yet you did."

Naruto bit his tongue to prevent him from blurting out that the only reason he'd returned the instrument was so he had a decent excuse to find the guy and stare at his ass without seeming like a stalker. He was quite happy letting Gaara assume that it had been his kind-hearted nature that had brought him here. There was absolutely nothing wrong with twisting the truth just a tiny bit.

"It was no problem, honest." Yup, that's it. Play into the compassionate protagonist role. Naruto shrugged and shifted from one foot to the other, giving across a casual appearance that suggested that he hadn't just illegally travelled on two trains and wondered around aimlessly searching for the right address.

"Is there anything I could do for you, to make up for all your effort?"

The curious tone and the accidentally suggestive choice of words had several adult-rated thoughts floating idly though Naruto's head. Well, he could bend over and let the blonde fuck him? But Naruto wasn't about to say that. So he just smirked.

"How about you let me come inside for a while? We could... get to know each other?" Naruto cocked a brow in a somewhat cautious invitation to Gaara. His voice was low and sensual; the kind that often had young, inexperienced men biting their lips anxiously, blushing, or flinging back a confident response. It all depended on the man's attitude and willingness. Though, Naruto was slightly saddened by the knowledge that without a doubt, Gaara fell into the first category. But, there was no harm in trying…unless Gaara freaked out, slammed the door and refused to bare his face to the horny man ever again. If that happened, Naruto would be forced to re-evaluate his choice of target, and perhaps set his eyes on a somewhat easier lay.

Because there was really the one problem when it came to virgins; if Naruto was to put it frankly…sometimes, they really were just frigid assholes. They were always the men who unconsciously teased all the other horny bastards whilst obliviously carrying on with their merry, sexless lives. They managed to perfect the 'hard to get' act without even realising they were taking part in the first place. And that in itself was both a gift and a curse.

So by following that logic and the blonde's initial assumption, Naruto wasn't surprised when Gaara's eyes widened, appearing almost horrified and he shook his head quickly and declined his offer. "Erm…no, I don't think that's a very er…good idea." His blush had shifted to a darker colour, beginning high up on his cheeks and disappearing into confines of the loose hoodie the man wore.

Just how far down did that blush go?

Naruto licked his lips slowly. Damn, why was this guy so captivating?

"Ah, that sucks, sweetie." Naruto pulled a disappointed, rejected face before sighing and asking hopefully. "How about a coffee tomorrow then? My treat?" Please say yes. Please say yes?

"I don't know."

Naruto almost growled at this response. No. No way was he going to accept that. In all the years Naruto had spent acquainting himself with attractive men, he had never been rejected. Unless he tallied that guy who turned out to be straight, but that hardly counted. Because most men, if not all of them all agreed on one thing: that Naruto was fucking hot. And whilst the blonde man certainly didn't think of himself as being over-confident or cocky - okay, maybe sometimes - he certainly wasn't modest. He knew that men were attracted to his physical appearance. He took great pride in his good looks and certainly wasn't afraid to flaunt his body to get what he wanted. Yet…he had done the flaunting! So why wasn't Gaara frantically agreeing and rushing out the door with a half-hearted 'goodbye' to his roommate and clinging to Naruto with adoring eyes? An ass like Gaara's belonged in Naruto's waiting hands. So why was the skinny, pale man already slowly beginning to sidestep back into his moderately sized house?

"Come on! It'll be fun, and I'm paying!" Naruto knew he was whining by now. Sakura and Sasuke would have called it grovelling, Shikamaru would have labelled his behaviour as troublesome, and Tenten would have merely laughed at his desperate tone. But he didn't care. There was no way Naruto was letting that delicious, unmarked ass slip from between his fingers. "It's not like I'm gonna hurt you…" Naruto stated before mentally adding 'unless it's in a fun and kinky way that we both enjoy' to his sentence. He didn't exactly want Gaara screaming in panic and a line like that would probably have had that exact effect; maybe with an added slap to the face. Or, if Naruto was really, really unlucky, a kick to the balls. So, instead of fearing for his genitals, he remained silent; watching Gaara.

The man paused in his movement and twisted his torso to fully face Naruto once again. "I don't even know your name," he sighed gently.

"Naruto."

"Naruto…" He tested the word on his tongue whilst the blonde man imagined how different the same name would sound when the redhead was stretched out across his bed, his limbs reacting uncontrollably to light, teasing touches with his eyes rolled back and shaking fingers clutching at the bed sheets. Would the name erupt from his lips suddenly? Or would it be broken up into syllables when Gaara tried to fit the word around all the whimpers and moans that fell from his mouth?

Naruto consciously licked at his lips, checking for any possible drool that might have collected there. There was none. Good. Least he hadn't made a fool of himself just yet. He still had a chance with Gaara; he just had to work a tad harder to get there.

"How about it then?"

"You're not going to stop pestering me, are you?" Gaara sighed again, though the light hearted tone of his voice revealed he found Naruto's insistence amusing, if not somewhat endearing.

"Nope."

Gaara let out a small chuckle and reached up a pale hand to comb his fingers through his thick red locks. "Fine. I'll go for coffee."

Naruto mentally cheered and his grin stretched almost comically on his face.

"But only if you stop calling me sweetie." Gaara propositioned, managing to look incredibly pleased with his compromise, despite his closed body language looking uninviting and cold; crossed arms and only a tiny, faint smirk. The man obviously wasn't used to displaying a wide range of emotions and Naruto couldn't wait to witness what Gaara would look like, riding his cock, completely out of his normal comfort zone, or doing any other equally dirty deed. Naruto bit his lip to withhold his excitement as various sexual possibilities filled his mind.

"Sure thing, babe," he finally laughed out and Gaara ducked his head to avoid the small smile he had from showing. The small grin was obvious though and Naruto couldn't help but stare at the beautiful boy stood in front of him. Sure, he'd confirmed the guy was hot ages ago. But beyond imaging how those plump lips would look around his cock or how those teal eyes would stare up at him, lust ridden, he hadn't really paused to appreciate Gaara's natural appearance before.

Until now.

He'd never really noticed the thick eyelashes or the way the eyeliner he wore empathised the colour of his eyes. He'd never noticed the way Gaara's nose scrunched up in a totally adorable way when he smiled, or how his shocking hair colour somehow managed to match perfectly with his eyes and skin when Naruto was convinced that that shade of red would have looked positively horrid on anyone else. He'd missed the small red tattoo, almost hidden by Gaara's hair which lay on the left side of his forehead; written in a foreign language. And he'd failed to spot the high cheekbones, the almost feminine look that still managed to be so hot and so, so male.

God, how many people had chased after this boy before him? And more importantly, how many had succeeded? Who else had stolen passionate kisses from those pink lips? Had anyone ever pulled a whimper from Gaara's throat? Or had been on the receiving end of Gaara's faint smile and had the words 'I love you' be whispered to them?

Naruto shook his head to clear out his thoughts. I love you? Who the fuck cared about love anyway? Love was stupid; and other than the foolish poor souls who had been brainwashed by Disney, or those with overprotective parents who had as much sexual knowledge as a turnip, no one in the current generation truly believed in love. And no one bothered to go searching for it; Naruto included. Yeah, Naruto certainly wasn't searching for love here. More like a quick fuck and a fast escape route.

"So, can I have your number then?" Naruto spoke carefully, searching for any last glimpses of uncertainty or refusal in Gaara's eyes. Anything that suggested the he was going to cancel their coffee date and crush all of the blonde man's dreams of ever getting laid with a red-haired beauty. He found none. Thank god.

"I guess I have to give it to you, don't I?" Gaara busied himself by fingering the strap of the guitar case.

"Well, not if you really don't want to. I'm sure walking around London for hours trying to find each other in a tiny café somewhere will be just as thrilling as the actual date."

"When did this become a date?" Gaara's eyes twinkled with amusement, staring up at the older man who took a cautious step forward. Seeing no discomfort in those teal eyes continuing to stare up at his own darker pair, he came to a stop directly in front of the redhead.

A few centimetres. That's all that separated the two men; just that tiny, little gap of air. As he leant his head down next to Gaara's ear, Naruto swore that he heard the redhead swallow and breathe out shakily. So the prospect of physical contact made the pale man nervous, like he was already anticipating the sensation of the touch? Naruto deftly noted this information and moved even closer before huskily uttering a quiet response into Gaara's ear.

"When you agreed to come with me."


Naruto Uzumaki was going on a date.

Okay, let's repeat that.

Naruto Uzumaki was going on a date!

Oh god. Maybe this was a bad idea? A truly awful idea! Could it be that the oh-so-perfect ass of Gaara's really wasn't worth all the extra effort? Maybe, just maybe, those two toned globes of muscle weren't as appetising as those jeans of Gaara's made them look. Or maybe, the redhead's glorious ass was just a silly illusion. A dream invented either by a god on drugs or someone with way too much spare time on their hands; after all, Shino had always been the type of guy to discreetly slip unknown ingredients and powders into the lads' drinks on their weekly drunken nights out. No one really complained though, it always made the nights more entertaining. So maybe, Naruto was just high and delusional…

Naruto sighed and the lift doors pinged open. His excuses sounded more and more ridiculous by the second; had he decided to voice them aloud, he would have surely been met by loud sniggers…and an invitation to the local mental health clinic.

Naruto entered the tiny lift, paying no attention to the obnoxious female voice that sounded above him.

Fucking hell. What was he going to do? Damn it!

He could pull out! Naruto could still call Gaara and give a detailed, horrifying description of an illness he'd caught. Herpes always scared potential partners away. That would work! Or, he could just be a cunt and not turn up on the day. The blonde man grimaced immediately after the idea had floated into his head. He couldn't do that. He wasn't that heartless. Besides, he had plenty of experience in the mortifying walk home after getting stood up continuously by guys. He didn't want Gaara to go through that.

Naruto reached a hand up to rub at his temple. He could practically already imagine the defeated look on the poor man's face if he failed to show up. The way Gaara's face would probably crumble in sadness was already imprinted on the blonde man's mind and he had to quickly shake the thoughts away.

Okay. Okay, he'd go for definite. He'd follow through with this. Just like in the words of that recent teen-icon with the lesbian haircut; Naruto never said never to the possibility of an exhilarating fuck. Okay, so they weren't the exact words…but whatever.

The blonde man groaned.

But that didn't mean that the young man still couldn't dread the idea of going on a date with Gaara. He had never been very good at sitting somewhere and just...talking to someone. He frequently struggled to keep the boredom off his face, and his mundane attitude had often turned away many potential boyfriends; specifically in his younger teenage years when the ideas of sex were less ostensible on the man's mind.

Then again, Naruto was confident that he could do this. All he had to do was smile receptively and nod along with the Gaara's rambles. Men, just like women, loved to talk about themselves and although Gaara had been strangely quiet and a little awkward during their two encounters, he was positive that an encouraging nudge in the right direction would have the other man babbling about the most random of things. And besides, being sat opposite an attractive guy while they animated some 'hilarious' moment in their life and spilled out useless information was just another excuse to stare at the chatty bloke and fantasize about how the man would look naked and sweaty on his bed...or bent over the kitchen counter. Either one. Naruto wasn't particularly picky.

So altogether, it was probably the fastest route into those tight skinny jeans. Hell, it was probably the only way into Gaara's pants.

The blonde teen chewed at his lip. But still, why did life have to be so fucking difficult?! Why did Naruto always have to take the long route to everything? Couldn't Gaara just stop being such a prude and simplify Naruto's journey to his final destination: between the redhead's thighs.

Naruto's eye twitched dangerously and he jabbed at the tiny, illuminated 'four' button in the lift. The lift was already moving, gliding smoothly up to Naruto's preferred floor, yet the young man still poked at the button, if only to find something to occupy his clammy hands. The doors separated shortly afterwards and Naruto rushed to his flat. The blonde unlocked the front door, entered, and chucked his keys somewhere without looking - he'd end up cursing and grunting at that decision later.

In the kitchen he proceeded to pull out a milk carton from the fridge and drink straight from the spout. The liquid felt cool and Naruto swallowed in large, quick gulps.

"What's up with you?" A female voice called out at him and Naruto hummed as a sign for her to come closer.

Tenten peered at the man from a nearby corner before entering the kitchen also. Naruto turned his head and let his eyes trail over the young woman's body, noting her messy short hair and dishevelled outfit.

Tenten was still clad in the same clothes from the morning. And under normal circumstances, Naruto would have shouted at her for wearing his comic-striped underwear. The teen would have grumbled about how Tenten actually owned her own underclothing (not that she had worn any of it in the last year; she insisted she felt much more comfortable in men's clothing) and demanded for her to remove the boxers. This would have probably resulted in the brunette sighing, before reaching near her hips and dropping the underwear to the floor with not a hint of hesitation at baring herself to Naruto. Then, Naruto would have pulled a displeased face; Tenten would have laughed and have departed slowly back into her room, only to then put on yet another pair of Naruto's boxers that she kept hidden somewhere. Then the cycle would repeat over and over and over again until one of the two - Naruto most likely - got bored of the fruitless arguments.

Frankly, Naruto was way too familiar with the sight of Tenten's naked backside for the duo to be considered anything close to 'normal' flatmates.

Tenten ambled closer - grabbing the milk carton from Naruto before he could protest and also tipping the refreshing milk down her throat. At the lack of response, the brunette released her mouth's grip around the spout of the carton and cocked an eyebrow. Tenten wiped her mouth with her left hand and repeated her question, albeit, a tad more crudely. "Oi! What's wrong, dickface?!" She smacked the man upside the head.

The collision had Naruto's head snapping forward uncomfortably and he scowled. Though, unfortunately for him, he was quite used to Tenten's aggressive behaviour; both of them having been on the receiving end of many slaps and friendly headlocks. The blonde man sighed. "Why can't life be simpler?" He bent over and rested his forehead gently against the kitchen counter. "Why can I just fuck who I want with no complications or without going the long way round to get there?" Naruto mumbled into the cheap surface, exhaling dramatically.

"What the hell have you done now? Hey!" She shook the milk carton threateningly near his face. "Just remember that whatever you've done, it's entirely your own fault." Tenten paused and her eyes narrowed and she scrutinized Naruto for moment. "You gonna tell me what you did then? You didn't get caught having sex in public again, did you? Or beat up some ugly guy for groping your fuck buddy?"

Naruto could already feel the sardonic tone of her words. So he remained silent, face pressed into the kitchen counter. He was so going to have a mark on his forehead after this; probably a huge red bruise if he didn't manage to refrain from smacking his head repeatedly against the surface from the complete utter stupidity of Tenten's mocking comments.

Although, Naruto still maintained the perturbing awareness that yes, he had been caught having sex in public. And had the police officer not turned out to be an ex-girlfriend of Tenten's, he'd probably still be donning an orange, community service jumpsuit and cleaning up graffiti in a subway tunnel. Probably, having to also deal with the humiliation of having Hidan sat next to him as he worked. For weeks after the conflict with the police officer, Naruto had been faced with dreams where the silver haired man's bitter laughter had echoed through his ears, followed by endless snide comments from the homeless man.

In a strange sort of way, Naruto still owed Tenten for helping him. And he was positive in the fact that she would hold onto that debt until the two were racing each other down corridors in wheelchairs in the local nursing home at the ripe old age of eighty-nine. Oh well. It could be worse.

Tenten took another sip of milk and grinned. "So, should I start contacting lawyers now? Or should we wait till after you've been arrested?"

Naruto's faced whipped up from the kitchen counter to stare at her. "What the fuck?! I haven't done anything illegal!" He swiped the milk from Tenten's reach, clutched the carton against his chest and proceeded to glare at the amused woman. Naruto watched her eyes trail up and stare at his forehead and at the square patch of reddened skin from the countertop. The brunette's smile widened. God! She was absolutely loving this!

Tenten cocked an eyebrow. "So why do you look like I just trod on your hamster?"

Naruto gave her a long, pointed look.

She snorted. "That was an accident. And we were ten for fuck's sake!"

Naruto grunted in response. Tenten stared up at him expectantly before beginning to repeatedly nudge his chest with her elbow. The relentless poking quickly became annoying.

"Fucking stop it!" He jerked away from the intrusive hand and Tenten, having already grown a little bored, separated from Naruto and began searching the nearby cupboards. Her search came to an end when finally a hand emerged from the cupboard, holding a box of cereal - Cheerios to be precise. Tenten grinned enthusiastically before diving her hand down into the packet and withdrawing a handful of the tiny hoops and cramming them into her mouth. Naruto cocked an eyebrow. Sometimes, Tenten was a bigger pig than Choji. And that was saying something.

"I asked a guy on a date."

"Have fun with that." She laughed loudly, opening her mouth and revealing the half-chewed remains of the cereal. Ew. "Virgin?" The word came out muffled and she continued eating before gesturing at the milk.

"Wait, how did you know?" Naruto handed her the carton.

"Because you just told me, fucktard. Besides, you never ask anyone on a date, unless they're tight assed virgins." She took a huge gulp of liquid. "Bet he had nice round ass, right?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. Okay, sometimes Tenten knew way too much about Naruto's life, especially his sexual one. Like, seriously way too much. And Naruto was convinced he had never shared any of his detailed sex life with her and yet, she still knew them all and could probably list off all of Naruto's recently discovered kinks and fetishes with not an ounce of hesitation.

Had he ever told Tenten his lust for blushing virgins? No!

Had he ever told her of his dates, how many of them he had had, or who they had been with? No!

And had he ever told Tenten what he fantasied about when he spent the rare night at home with nothing to accompany him beside his right hand and a bottle of lube? No!

So how the hell did she always seem to know everything?!

Naruto exhaled heavily. There was only one real explanation: the bitch was crazy.

And it was strange too. Really, really strange; considering that the teenager had no idea what happened between Tenten and the occasional girl he saw in her bedroom. He hardly knew anything about her sex life! Not that he particularly wanted to know what two girls got up to between the bed sheets anyway. And unsurprisingly, all of Naruto's friends (his straight ones, that is) had all begged multiple times to come round to his flat every time moans of pleasure erupted from Tenten's room whenever she got busy with some pretty girl. His friends had often called the fact that the two homosexual people lived together a 'waste'. Because apparently, Naruto's liking for cock rather than what lay between a girl's legs was 'ruining this special opportunity to see two girls writhe against each other'. And bluntly, Naruto didn't see anything special about it - much to the disagreement of his mates.

"You are still gay right?" He asked, deciding to not answer Tenten's invasive question - though he did take great pride in confirming that, yes, Gaara did have a 'nice round ass'. He sighed almost dreamily when an image of the redhead, standing dripping wet in a shower floated into his mind. He could envision the way the water would drip down his body, going lower and lower and lower. His tongue would also gladly follow the same path until-

WOW! Okay. Calm down. No need to get a boner in front of Tenten. She would never, ever let that go. And it'd be a bit awkward. Not that Tenten hadn't seen his cock before but…yeah, still awkward; especially if there was no male partner present to cause said spontaneous reaction.

Naruto forced himself to focus back onto Tenten.

The woman shrugged. "Uh huh. Why?" She proceeded to scoop another handful of Cheerios into her mouth.

"I've never known a lesbian to be so interested in the sexual acts of their male roommate and his several male partners."

Tenten stared back blankly.

"You know, gay men with cocks touching other gay men with cocks."

At this, Tenten flung her head back and roared out her delight. "Oh god!"

Naruto fought the urge to gag when his shirt was sprayed with flecks of cereal. Oh, how he loved his roommate! He reached a hand up to brush off the soggy mess and fixed Tenten with his coldest glare. Gee, thanks for that!

She fell into another burst of laughter, this time it sounded more like an evil cackle though, rather than an expression of amusement. Then again, Tenten's laugh had always been different; each time being a little bit unique from the other. "I don't care much for the details. It's just amusing watching you bitch, cry and stomp around with that little gay face of yours over the lack of cock you get," she finally managed to splutter out before contagious giggles erupted from her lips.

"I don't cry!"

The brunette ignored his outraged remark.

Naruto took a wide step away from Tenten, as if ready to leap away in case another spray of Cheerios decided to come his way. He was lucky though for Tenten composed herself, swallowing thickly and taking another drink. All traces of her past amusement were disappearing and being replaced with that shit-eating smirk she always wore. Although she insisted that Naruto often wore a similar grin, he forcefully denied this.

"So, how come you didn't just turn on the old 'Naruto charm'? You could've serenaded him on the doorstep with the thrilling music of your tensing biceps and gotten yourself out of a lot of extra work."

"I tried! But he looked at me like I was a fucking leper or something when I asked him!" Naruto knew Tenten was teasing him but he still let out a defeated sigh and pouted pathetically at his roommate.

She grimaced. "Well, you did have Chlamydia last year. Maybe he could still smell out the impending doom of your STD cock." She ducked the arm that came swinging towards her and cackled at Naruto's frustrated face. The bitch!

Naruto rolled his eyes at the shorter woman. "How are we even friends?"

"Our hatred for each other brings us closer together."

"I see."

They both stared at each other momentarily before wide grins emerged on both of their faces and Tenten reached out a hand. A fist bump was exchanged and the duo chuckled. Somehow, and god only knows how, the pair were best friends. They just rarely showed it and insults were a common part of their daily banter.

"Now if you'll excuse me. I'm gonna go watch porn and procrastinate, and I'll leave you to… wank over your sexual frustrations. Or mournfully eat your way through all our food. Your choice." Tenten patted the man on the shoulder. Her gesture would have appeared sympathetic, if she hadn't been trying to mask the gleeful and thoroughly amused expression that coated her face far too obviously. She then proceeded to skip off to her room before Naruto could contemplate chucking the kitchen knife at her head.

Naruto leant against the kitchen counter once more, reaching for the packet of Cheerios, he scooped out a few and popped them into his mouth. He chewed contently for a moment before a thought passed through his head and he sighed for the hundredth time that day.

Naruto Uzumaki was going on a date.

Well, fuck!


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