Joel woke in the morning to find that his mother had up and left, leaving a note on the kitchen table that informed the sergeant of her departure for the states to visit the President. Still muddled by sleep, Joel accepted the note as truth and set about making himself a bowl of plain cheerios and cut banana.

Halfway through his breakfast the man woke up and looked again at the note: "Bullshit!"

"What about bulls?" Cub, 'Alex Rider' Joel reminded himself, appeared in the doorway to the kitchen in rumpled pajama bottoms and heavy lidded eyes, stifling a yawn as he slumped into a seat across from Joel at the table.

Joel eyed the blond as he took a bite of cereal, swallowing without chewing. "What did you do to my mother?" he asked suspiciously, not letting his guard down around this seemingly lethargic man.

A sleepy chuckle escaped Cub, Alex, and he straightened a bit in his chair. "Couldn't you afford more comfy chairs? I'm waking up just from all the bits digging into my ass, and not the good way." He complained with a smile that betrayed his mask of annoyance.

Joel narrowed his eyes. "Answer the question." He said. "I have three professional interrogators on my speed dial that wouldn't mind coming over this early," it was, after all, 4 AM, "and two of them live just a block away." Cu-Alex grinned and grabbed the cereal box from across the table, ignoring Joel's hiss of 'manners!'

"Alright, alright. Jeez man, you're such a downer." He picked a cheerio out of the box and popped it into his mouth, following it closely by a second then a third and a fourth. Leaning back in the chair he'd slumped into, Cub-Alex continued eating the cereal out of the box, not minding the glares Joel was sending his way.

"Stop that." Joel finally snapped after a minute and a half of just watching the spy eat cheerios dry, slamming his hand palm down onto the table for emphasis. Cub-Alex didn't seem the least bit fazed, eyeing the sergeant in amusement as he popped another cheerio for a touch of rebellion. "I will personally castrate you with a hot rod if you do not answer me." Joel's voice was low and heated as he reached the end of his rope.

How the hell did MI6 find their operatives? Post an ad in the newspaper for all annoying individuals with no respect for private property and an irritating smirk? Joel was not happy.

People naturally respected his authority, be it in the SAS or in civilian clothing, the air about him oozed 'respect me or you will go down'. There was only a few occasions and a few people who could stand up to him, even his mother, dear mother, had to back down when he really meant it.

But Cub-Alex's smirk didn't even falter as Joel's palm slammed down onto the table. He remained slouched and calm. Infuriatingly so.

"You wanted to know where your mother is, right?"

Joel narrowed his eyes at the blond sitting across from him, not relaxing as it appeared the spy relented. "Yes. And you're going to tell me." He said using all the authority he'd learned to exercise as a sergeant in the SAS to demand the whereabouts of his mother.

"Well, you're going to have to ask nicer if you want to get anything from me." Cub-Alex said coolly. Joel watched cautiously as the spy stood up, set the cereal box back on the table and leaned across to grow uncomfortably close to Joel, his mouth beside the sergeant's ear. But Joel didn't back up, not one to avoid a challenge, and remained frozen where he was, glaring at the blond from the corners of his eyes.

"Never."

A snort escaped Cub-Alex and Joel smelled cheerios on his breath, resisting the urge to wrinkle his nose at the sickly sweet scent. "Well, then, Joel Ward, you had better learn something." The spy whispered into Joel's ear.

"What?"

"I don't like bowing down to authority." A huffy laugh followed as Cu-Alex leaned back and collapsed into the seat he'd previously claimed, as though the phrase was an inside joke or held in it secrets that could only be heard if the listener knew the secret password.

Joel recovered from his surprise quickly, wiping all evidence of shock from his face in a matter of milliseconds and replacing it with a glare.

"I do not say 'please'." He said stiffly, it was true. The last time he'd said the 'p' word was when he was 14 and needed the latest first-person shooter. He'd been enamored by the gruff-voiced awesomeness that was Solid Snake and refused to be anything less.

Joel Ward does not say please.

Alex Rider, apparently, has a will of steel and the patience of water: the perfect skill set to combat Joel Ward and his insistence on being acknowledged as the top authority in the building.

"I guess you're never finding out where your mother's gone then." Alex said offhandedly, popping a cheerio as he propped his bare feet up on the table top with a perfect air of nonchalance.

Joel's jaw tightened visibly and he fought to restrain himself from leaping across the table and throttling the spy. A smirk floated over the visage of the blond across from him, his irritation was not going unnoticed.

"I swear…" Joel trailed off, leaving the threat in his voice to speak for itself, narrowing his eyes again. Alex gave him an expectant look.

"I'm still waiting for my please." He said, smiling loftily and wriggling his toes.

"Get your dirty feet off my table!" the black sergeant practically roared, slipping into his training voice. Alex did just that. Joel blinked. Alex shrugged.

"Hey, it's cold anyways." He said and huff-laughed again, "too bad I don't have any socks." Joel just looked at him.

"What the hell does that-" he cut himself off, it really didn't matter, he had more important things to worry about. "I'm not saying p-puh…the 'p' word."

Alex grinned and grabbed a handful of cheerios, setting the box on the table again to pick the tiny 'o's out of his hand, "I figured as much. You seem to be quite stubborn."

"Where is she?"

"Just because I'm not making you say the 'p-puh…'p' word' anymore doesn't mean that I'll tell you whatever you want to know." The blond tossed the rest of the cheerios in his hand into his mouth and chewed for a couple of moments, then continued speaking. "Although…I suppose you might want to look over the note again. You may have missed something."

Joel looked at the note sitting by his neglected cereal bowl, noting absently he'd have to throw out the now disgustingly mushy milk saturated cheerios later, and picked it up. A flash of ink on the back caught his eye and he turned the paper over, eyes widening considerably as he read what his mother had written:

'Just kidding! I'm leaving for Mali, my mother called to say that my sister, you know the floozy, is finally settling down so I'll be gone for a couple months planning a wedding. Have fun with your fiancé while I'm gone! P.s. Don't forget to feed Griselda, and I scheduled an appointment for her next week at the groomers so don't waste my money and forget to take her.'

Joel heard the sound of his jaw hit the ground with a dull thump.

A chair was scooted back and footsteps neared the doorway to the kitchen, pausing there. "I suppose I should have mentioned yesterday that the cover for my mission, the one I told you I have a cover for, that concerns you, which is a duty you can't get out of by the way or so many lawsuits can be piled on your back, is us being engaged. Which, I'll have you know, your mother was not a bit surprised at, looks like someone didn't hide their gay porn well enough when they hit puberty."

Joel's eyes slowly left the note and travelled to where Alex stood, slouching his shoulders a bit in the doorway to the kitchen, a lazy smirk on his face. "You Fucker."

"And don't you know it." Huffy laughter.

Locked outside for the night and forgotten, Griselda began to howl incessantly.


Disclaimer: Do check the first chapter, I don't own anything but a signed copy of Snakehead (addressed to one 'mwaaaah' hurrrrrrr) and the first volume of the Alex Rider series. Nothing in between. I only wish I had a dog named Griselda, and I bet Anthony Horowitz does as well, but he doesn't. And I refuse to let him.

There you have it. Chapter two of Great Companion. I'm beginning to fall in love with this story. How 'bout you? :D

Thanks so much for all the reviews I got for chapter one! And all the alerts and favorites! They really were a huge factor in motivating me to really try and get around to updating this, so think of yourselves as the second writers of the story I suppose. :)

On that thought, sorry it took so long to update in the first place, I have no better excuse than the fact that I had an incredibly important exam to take, one that took five hours to complete (AP World History for those who know what that is) and left me brain dead for a couple days. Forgive me?

Thanks for reading!

Fridgeworks