Chapter Two

"Wow. You look awful!" Amelia- always so blunt. She handed me my coffee and I folded myself into my usual chair at the kitchen table.

"Thanks."

"If I didn't know any better I would say you had a hangover Sook."

I snorted, "I wish" At least then I would have had a good time before feeling like crap."

"Are you ill? Do you want me to call Sam and tell him you can't work tonight?"

"No. I just need an aspirin and a shower."

"Ok, if you're sure. Don't forget, I am staying at Tray's tonight." I smiled as I thought of Amelia and Tray.

"So things are going well then." She beamed at me.

"He's great Sook. I am so happy. I never felt like this before."

"I'm glad. You both deserve to be happy."

I got ready for work quickly and headed into town. I stopped at the library and changed my books. I also picked up a few bits and pieces at Wal Mart before heading to Merlotte's. It was Friday night so I knew the bar would be busy but I didn't expect the crowd I found when I walked in.

"I am so glad you're here," Holly said as she filled me in on my section. "There's some FotS convention and a massive crowd came here after. I think Arlene suggested this place." I gulped at the prospect of a bar full of FotS and made sure my shields were as strong as I could make them. I saw the glares many of the customers in my section were giving me and I sighed. It was going to be a long night. I knew what they saw. A stupid fang banging slut who was a traitor to her people. An abomination by association who deserved to die was much as any vampire. I would never understand how people could call vampires monsters when they did things just as bad, if not worse, themselves.

I often wondered what my life would have been like if I hadn't fallen in love with a vampire. Part of me mourned the loss of that simple life but realistically I knew it had been a pipe dream all along. I always have been too different, thanks to my disability, to live the life I had always dreamt of. If Bill hadn't found me then I would still be crazy Sookie Stackhouse and nothing more. At least now I could feel like an equal once in a while. Supes may bring trouble but they also make up my friends and my family. Supes could see past my disability in a way humans never could. I tried to hold my head high and keep my smile in place as I served burgers and beers to the masses. I felt so tired that I could collapse but Stackhouse women don't faint and I forced myself to focus on the job at hand. If I let myself think about anything else I would never get through this.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked from behind the bar as he noticed me steady myself on a table.

"Fine," I smiled trying not to lose my balance and fall on my face. The room was spinning. "Mind if I have a break?" I asked.

"Sure, you didn't have one earlier?" He frowned down at me. I should have had a break three hours ago.

"No, too busy." I smiled wider, silently praying the room would stay still before I threw up.

"Go ahead, take your time."

"Thanks Sam." I only had an hour left to go of my shift and normally I wouldn't have bothered but I figured I could use a couple of minutes to clear my head. I somehow made it to my car and I leaned against the bonnet hoping no one would see me. The cold metal felt good against my aching body and I closed my eyes in relief.

I was so tired and sore it was hard to care about my memory problems. I was fed up of being scared and miserable all the time. My quiet relief was disturbed by the sound of crunching stones. I forced my eyes open to find Sam hovering over me.

"What's wrong Sook?" His gentle eyes made me feel guilty. Everyone in my life knew that there was something wrong but still I was lying to them all. I smiled.

"Nothing. I'm just a bit tired s'all."

"It's been a long night. I'm surprised we didn't have any trouble off the FotS guys in here tonight."

"I guess we were lucky."

"I think Bud's presence must have helped. Why don't you go home? It's fairly quiet now and you look dead beat."

"Thanks Sam. I do feel kinda out of it." He helped me up and I quickly followed him to his office to collect my bag. I turned and headed out of the door.

"Sookie," he called as I started to shut his door behind me.

"Yeah Sam?"

"Are you talking to Jason yet?" I frowned. My bastard brother was just another thing I didn't want to think about.

"No," I almost growled the word. "Why?"

"He was in here today. He looked terrible. You know I am no fan of Jason's and what he did to you was unforgivable but I know that he is your only family and I figured you would want to know."

"Thanks Sam. I guess I do need to call him. Maybe tomorrow. Night."

"Night Sook."

When I walked into my kitchen I noticed two things. First, my head felt like it was going to split in half. If I didn't know any better I would say that I was dying. I looked forward to curling up in bed. Second, there was a note on the kitchen table.

Hope you're feeling better Sookie. Eric called and I told him you would ring him after work. Don't expect me till late tomorrow.

Take care

Amelia x

I frowned. I SO did NOT want to talk to Eric right now. I felt bad enough already but I knew without a shadow of doubt that if I didn't call him he would send someone to check on me.

Once I was in my pyjamas and curled up on my bed I reached for the phone. I pushed the number for Fangtasia. You know that there is something wrong with your life when you are ill and you are calling a vampire bar- which you have on speed dial.

"Fangtasia. The bar with bite."

"Hey it's Sookie. Can I speak to Eric please?"

"Oh hey Sook! It's Belinda." I hadn't known she was back at work.

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah. Eric took care of all my medical bills and made sure I got the best care possible. How are you?"

"Just fine thanks."

"Here's Eric."

"Yes?" I felt sick. Just the sound of his voice broke the lock and all the emotions I was keeping carefully caged away fled over me. Fear, anger, confusion, frustration, fear, lust, longing, grief, love, fear. I swallowed hard and with the last ounce of strength I had I forced myself to speak.

"Hello Eric. You wanted to talk to me?" I prayed he couldn't feel me through the bond at this distance.

"Yes lover. What is wrong?" I groaned. Damn blood-bond!

"Nothing is wrong Eric. Why do you ask?" Even I could hear the poorly concealed lie.

"My bull shit meter is ticking lover." He sounded very amused at my irritation.

"I'm just really tired. We had a bunch of FotS in the bar tonight." Yes I was trying to change the subject. Anger flared over the bond.

"Did they hurt you?" He growled.

"No. Actually we didn't have any trouble at all. It was just really busy. Sam let me come home early as it had been so busy I hadn't taken a break."

"The shifter doesn't know how lucky he is to have such a dedicated employee like you." His anger had turned to annoyance.

I snorted, "Don't tease me Eric I am too tired."

"I know lover. I can feel your weariness. That is what I meant. I wasn't teasing you, I promise." Did Eric sound hurt? Nah. Couldn't be.

"Whatever. What did you want Eric?" I was in no mood to play his games.

"Why is it I feel Bill lied to me yesterday when he reported that you were fine?" My head was pounding and I wanted to pass out. I tried to focus by closing my eyes.

"Eric," I moaned. "I really need to sleep. What do you want?"

"You're right. Now is not the time. We have much to discuss. When are you next off work? I want to take you out." That did it.

"One minute." I dropped the phone and dashed to the bathroom. I just made it to the toilet in time to throw up. I realised as I was heaving my guts up that I hadn't eaten today. I wanted to cry. I brushed my teeth and headed back to the bed.

"Sorry about that. I am off Monday and Tuesday." I was trying to pretend nothing had happened, I felt so embarrassed.

"Sookie, were you just sick?" He sounded revolted and I cringed.

"Sorry. I'm not feeling too great. I told you I need sleep."

"Hmmm," he was making me nervous.

"I'm sorry Eric." Why was I apologising for being ill?

"Do you need something? What can I do?" Was he actually concerned about me? Nah.

"I just need sleep Eric. I will be fine tomorrow."

"If you are sure," he didn't sound convinced but he also didn't seem to care enough to argue. I felt a stab of hurt (considering my current state it was amazing I could feel anything.)

"I am."

"I will pick you up at seven Monday night."

"Ok." And the line went dead. Rude much. I plonked the phone down and I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

I was in a forest. A beautiful woman dressed in a flowing blue gown stood before me. Her warm features and billowing auburn hair made her look like an angel.

"You're not trying hard enough!" She cried in frustration. A tear ran down my cheek.

"I'm doing my best," I sobbed.

"I know Sookie but if you don't get this you are going to die. I know you can do it. Try again." I held out my hand to the camp fire and tried to focus. "Remember, you are not Sookie Stackhouse barmaid. You are Sookie Stackhouse Goddess."

"I will it so may it be," I called and the fire was extinguished. I kept my hand outstretched. "I will it so may it be." The fire flamed back into existence. I crumpled to my knees, exhausted by the drain in energy.

"Good. Now do it again but without calling for it."

"I need a break Athena," I grumbled.

"You don't have time Ares and Tyr will be here soon to work on your combat training."

"Sookie. Sookie, GET UP!" My eyes flashed open and Amelia took a step back as she sighed out in relief. "Oh! I thought something was wrong with you. You look worse than yesterday." I groaned and put my hand to my forehead. My head was still pounding away like a brass band. I had the feeling I had dreamt but I couldn't remember anything. I felt like I had been beaten up, my whole body was sore.

"What time is it?" I whispered unable to make my voice any louder.

"Nearly five. You want me to call Sam and tell him you're ill?" Five. I could have sworn I had only been asleep about an hour. I didn't feel rested at all but I had been in bed sixteen hours.

"No. I'll get ready." Amelia frowned but quietly left my room. I practically crawled to the shower but I made it. As gran always said, 'a woman can do anything she puts her mind to.' Right now I was putting my mind to pretending everything was fine and normal. If only because I couldn't handle the reality.

It had crossed my mind that someone was playing with me. I never get sick. Even before I met Bill I never got sick but since then I had consumed that much vampire blood getting sick is almost an impossibility. I highly doubted that my current condition and lack of memory were not somehow related. However, I was too tired and miserable to think about it, or to even care.

"So what did Eric want?" Amelia asked as she pushed a cup of coffee in one hand a two aspirin in the other. I swallowed them down with a swig of coffee.

"To ask me out. I'm going out with him on Monday night." She pushed a plate of French toast towards me but I just shook my head. There was no way I could eat anything.

"You don't sound too happy about it." I looked up from the table and saw that her eyes were fixed on my face. They were full of concern.

"Amelia, right now I can't feel happy about anything. I just want to get to work so I can get it over with and go back to bed." Her frown deepened.

"I'm calling Sam. You're ill Sookie. You can't work like that."

"NO!" I near yelled. "I don't want to let him down."

"I'm sure he will understand Sook."

"No. I'm going to work. I'm not ill. I am just tired." Amelia snorted but she didn't say anything else whether because she knew there was no point in arguing with me or because she was afraid to make me feel worse I didn't know.