so I'm not all to convinced I had an ideal of where I was going with this chapter so I'm sorry if it sort of meanders! Oh I'm somwhat sorry for the way I ended proper-verse Kazuaki's side of things especially concidering we know where its going but it's where my head went so...warnings as in the last chapter and yes this is now, officially, it for this branch of the verse though I do have other character head cannons that I might play with (which is why Iwamine-sensei is still 'Souma' here btw!


There's a scream trapped still in his throat as he starts into waking but he can't recall quite why, feels only a deep, shapeless, terror, as he tries to reach out for the last tendrils of the nightmare.

Body flooded with adrenaline his mind tells him swift and desperate that the room is not as it should be, that the light, the furniture about him, even the bed itself, is alien.

He sets a trembling hand the warm body at his side, breaths deep the spice and sweetness Hitori's natural scent and repeats over and over that he is safe, that everything feels wrong because, right now, he's not in his own bed.

The restlessness will not quite leave and eventually he takes himself out into the living room with one of the thin summer blankets in order to assure that, Hitori, at least, is mentally alert for tomorrow's classes.

The first fingers of dawn find him buried deep the quirky fantasy novel Nageki had left upon the table, mind so completely absorbed the tale enfolding before him that he'd managed to almost completely push out his previous discomfort and actually relax once more.

"Oh!" The softest of soft yet still he starts and, of course, Nageki being Nageki he's instantly backing away a flurried, "I'm sorry, Kazuaki-sensie, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's ok, I was just absorbed in the book, please, come sit down." A moments hesitation and then the boy comes to settle in the small space between his feet and the edge of the sofa.

There is an anticipation in the silence now, a hungry void that, in the not so distant past, would likely have triggered the worst of panic attacks.

He has grown so much since then, twisted and pushed himself so that, initially, he might become less of a Burden for Hitori and then, surprisingly swiftly, so that might see just how far he could leave behind the despicable creature he'd become.

So he smiles through his discomfort and, placing the book to one side, he enquires,

"Did you have a nightmare, fujishiro-kun?"

"Oh, no, my body clock is just a little strange." A beat then, "Is that why you're awake sensei?"

"You got me." A wink rewards him a shocked expression and, not for the first time, he's left the somewhat annoying comprehension of just why Dr Souma finds such pleasure in teasing him.

Still Nageki's swiftly finding his composure and enquiring, "is there anything I can do to help?" With a genuine sincerity and concern that has him confused and, smiling sweetly, the boy informs him simply, "you suit a smile better, sensei."

Time and time again he has been told that Nageki is not so very overt in his emotions, has seen first hand how the other observed and assessed a situation before taking any form of action, yet still he had somehow convinced himself that the boys stiff diffidence meant that he disliked him intensely.

He'd understood, of course, the siblings had, after all, grown exponentially closer in the months after the younger boy's illness had at last forced him to leave Hatoful House. Understood that their world had compressed in and in until it contained only the two of them and even the thought of opening it out just a little, of letting someone else in, was likely hard to get firm grip on.

Still he'd been so afraid that, no matter how unlike the younger boy it was, Nageki might eventually grow tired of his 'intrusion' and subtly push at Hitori until the other was convinced to push him out.

The thought makes him shiver slightly and, apparently reading the turn of his thoughts, Nageki says,

"Truthfully when I first met you, sensei, I knew you were different, that Onii-chan would come to care for you enough that he'd put you even above me.

"It was a knowledge that made me sick to my stomach and I did actually think that, maybe, I could push you out before it became too late but then I realised something."

"What?"

"For so, so, long Onii-san has put me first, never asking for anything in return and, for all that I know it is because he cares, because that is who he is, it would be unforgivable for me to not do the same in return if given the chance."

It's so much for such a simple explanation, a kindness that, as with so many others he has been given since stepping into Hitori's inner circle, he feels certain he shall never truly repay and yet still he makes effort, smiles hard and gives what feels the weakest of thanks before enquiring,

"Will you be ok out here on your own for a bit?"

A firm confirmation and, as he wobbles onto his feet he utters a soft, "goodnight, sensei."

"Goodnight, Fujshiro-kun."

Today, as yesterday, he wakes and does not feel shamed for doing as such.

He spends only a half hour under his blanket, promising himself that today he shall tell Hitori that he wants now to live, that he can be strong now against the fetid nature of this world because the other is at his side.

As always the words die as he again sees Hitori and is reminded how thin both in body and spirit the other has become these last few weeks.

Someone else would say the words anyway, would smile confident and add that they would commit everything into making sure they could make it so Hitori would want to live again because they stand at his side.

Again the sense of self revulsion, the sure thought that Hitori deserved better than him and, once more, the desperate wish that they had never met, that fate might have spun a better path one so very, very, deserving such a thing.

The thought will not leave him for the rest of the evening, screams so loud that he roots out the sleeping pills he'd bought two lifetimes previous in shear desperate need for just the briefest moment of silence.

The pot rattles as he pulls it to him and he wonders, almost absently, if there are enough pills left to assure he never again wakes.

Hitori would be so angry at him for breaking the promise they'd made recently and so very alone but then he'd also be free wouldn't he?

Surely after a day or two he'd realise how foolish he'd been in growing attached to someone like him and in a week he'd have forgotten him entirely, found something or someone he would fight for.

Something hot and new kindles at that thought, a desperate something he can not quite place shape to and leaves him a dark, twisted, comprehension.

He wanted Hitori to die with him...for him...wanted to spend his last moment knowing beyond all doubt that he was of some importance to the other.