MysticSistaKitsune: All right, all right, I won't! Sheesh!
Gojan, Sydnee: Thanks! I'm glad you like it!
Barry: OK, I'm continuing... camn't disappoint you! Don't wory, we'll be seeing plenty of comedy along with the angst you'd expect from a girl who's suddenly found herself another species.
Frankie's Birthday Surprise:
Part 2: Nothing to Sneeze At
Somewhere in this stupid house, there has to be a hammer.
Frankie roamed the endless hallways of Foster's, looking for a hammer, a mallet, something, ANYTHING capable of smashing the blue, sparkling millstone around her neck, the thing that had transformed her into this new, bizarre form..
It still shocked her, every time she passed a mirror, to see that three-eyed, horned, vulpine face staring back at her, attached to that alien body. Even walking felt wrong... her legs bent funny, and she could barely feel the floor through her hooves.
Well, it'd all be over once she found a way to destroy the gem. She'd be able to go on with her normal life, and all this would be nothing more than a funny story she'd tell her grandkids someday.
For the second time that day, Mr. Herriman, chief financial and organizational officer of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and Chair-Rabbit Emeritus of the Fun-Bunny Council, found himself nearly run down by an eight-year-old torpedo.
"I say, Master Mac!" he called after the youngster, "I must again stress that there is to be no running in the-"
"Frankie's gonna KILL herself!" shouted Mac as he darted down the hall.
"What? She intends to... oh, heavens! Er, ah, carry on, then!" sputtered the rabbit.
"Finally!" sighed Frankie as she located the workshop. This house seemed to get more labyrinthine every day; Frankie often wondered if the house itself was an imaginary friend that could rearrange itself according to its own whim. At long last, though, she'd found what she was looking for.
She hefted a ball-peen. She had no idea how durable the gem was, but the tool she now held in her paw would at least crack the thing, she was sure of it.
Placing the gem on the worktable, Frankie raised the hammer...
"Frankie, stop!" shouted Mac as he finally caught up. "If you destroy it, you're gonna die!"
For a moment, she stood there, hammer raised, frozen.
Lowering the hammer would end this nightmare. It would end EVERYTHING.
If she stopped now, she'd be trapped in this freakish body, for the rest of her life. And as a demon, who knew how long that would be.
In that instant... in that eternity that lasted mere seconds... Frankie realized something.
She wanted to live.
Her life would almost certainly be fraught with hardship. Being able to function in society would be next to impossible.
And yet, she wanted to live.
She'd be feared, hated, hounded, simply because of what she was. The odds against ever finding love were astronomical.
And still, she wanted to live.
Because deep inside, she knew that things wouldn't be miserable forever. There would be happiness in her future, there would be laughter, there would be love, there would be hope...
Slowly, she set the hammer down and re-donned the necklace.
Mac exhaled in relief: "I knew you couldn't do it," he said with a grin.
"C'mon," the hirsute girl said, "I need someone to talk to. And ice cream."
Mac watched Frankie polish off the cookie-dough ice cream he'd given her a day earlier. "Feel better?" he asked.
"A little," she said, smiling. "It's mostly the company."
"Uh... can I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"How does it feel?"
"Very, very weird. I feel like I've been wrapped in wall-to-wall carpet. My feet feel like I'm walking on rubber stilts. My wings are like these two deformed arms coming out of my back with fans stuck to them. My butt feels like it has three really long, really flexible fingers. With beards. It all feels so alien. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to feel comfortable in this shape."
"Can I ask another question?"
"Of course."
"When'd you get dressed?"
Frankie looked down. Her familiar skirt and baby tee (the latter a bit stretched out thanks to the fifty-percent increase in her chest size) were back, although she couldn't remember how. "I'm not sure," she said. "I remember wanting to be dressed, but I don't remember actually putting any clothing on. I guess they just kinda appeared."
"See?" Mac said. "You've got amazing powers!"
"Great... I'm sure amazing power over wardrobe issues will totally make up for not being human any more."
"The website said you had 'special powers'. That's probably only one of them. I mean... you could probably even be..."
"Mac... please... I don't wanna hear it..."
"...a superhero!"
"I said I didn't wanna hear it! Mac, I know you want me to look at the bright side, but let's face it... any chance I have of ever having any kind of life is pretty much over."
She gave him a tiny kiss on the forehead. "You're sweet... but, it'll take more than sweetness to cheer me up."
Mac watched as she walked off.
I wish I could make her somehow realize that this isn't the worst that can happen... I mean, she shouldn't just give up because she's different! I bet people'd still like her even if she's a blue tiger... fox... antelope thing. I mean, it's not like she'd even be the weirdest thing on the streets.
Why can't she just accept herself as she is?
Mac would probably have remained lost in thought, had not a small, squishy blue creature tackled him from behind.
"Hey, Mac-a-roni! What's up?"
Mac sighed. "Hey, Bloo. I'm kinda worried about Frankie."
"Yeah, me too... I mean, twenty-two and no boyfriend? You know what the odds are of her getting married now? Seriously... do you? 'Cause I have no idea."
"Don't joke, Bloo. Have you seen what that necklace you got her did to her?"
"Drat! I KNEW that couldn't have been real gold!"
"No... it kinda... changed her."
"Changed her, like... changed her outlook on life?"
"No, changed her like made her grow fur, wings, tails, horns, an extra eye, claws, hooves..."
"Wow, really?" the blobby manifestation exclaimed, excited. "I knew I got a bargain, but that thing makes MUTANTS? That is so COOL! I have gotta see this!" And Bloo charged off, running as fast as his nonexistent legs could carry him.
Chop chop chop chop
Frankie lost herself in the staccato rhythm of the knife as it chopped carrots. There was a certain zen to kitchen prep... it was something that one could focus on, freeing yourself from the troubles of her life.
Vegetables finished, it was now time to prepare the dough. Frankie reached for the sack, located on the top shelf (Wilt must've been the last to use it, she thought), using a stool when it proved to be too high.
She reached for the sack, her hooves precariously balanced on the rickety stool. What on Earth convinced me this was a good idea? she thought, desperately flailing her arms and wings to keep balance. One distraction and she'd probably fall and bring the whole cabinet down with her—
"FRANKIE!" came a high-pitched voice, right behind her.
True enough, the startled young demon lost her footing and came crashing down... the flour sack in her hand spilled all over, billowing up into a white cloud that filled the room.
"Oops," the small blue creature mumbled.
"OOPS!" yelled the flour-covered Frankie. "Bloo, I oughta..." She stopped and froze as some of the flour got inhaled into her nostrils, causing her to sneeze.
"...Gesundheit?" replied Bloo.
Frankie looked around. Something wasn't quite right...
Then it hit her.
The wallpaper had changed from pink to yellow.
Bloo had noticed it too. "Boy, that was some sneeze," he said admiringly. "I'm kinda surprised everything didn't turn green.
"This isn't a j- ah-ah... ahchoo!"
In the den, Wilt and Eduardo were catching the latest episode of "The Loved and the Loveless."
"Ehh... Senor Wilt?" asked the violet behemoth.
"Yes?"
"Por que everything in the room suddenly turn upside-down?"
Wilt shrugged. "That's a good question. Maybe we should—"
"You'll never get away with this!"
"You hear that? He never get away with this!"
"Ooh, this one's good!" Wilt said as he turned his attention back to the TV."
With each sneeze, something bizarre happened. Sneeze three completely rearranged the hedge maze; sneeze four made it rain jellybeans indoors; sneeze five turned the billiard balls in the game room into live bats; and sneeze six turned Mr. Herriman into the world's most dignified aardvark.
"This is an outrage!" bellowed Herriman. "Why, never in all my years has such nonsense occurred!" He hopped through the endless hallways of the house, still mentally a rabbit though technically something else. Chaos seemed to be reigning... random objects were sprouting wings and flying around; doors were rearranging themselves; one room was neck-deep in what appeared to be lemon-lime soda.
"I demand to know what is occurring here!" the rabbit-cum-aardvark yelled to no one in particular.
"Um... I think it was me, Mr. Herriman," came a voice from above. He looked up to see Frankie, held aloft by her wings, looking apologetic.
The ex-rabbit's good eye opened wide. "Are you saying that all this absurdity is YOUR doing?"
Frankie nodded. "Every time I sneeze, something... bizarre happens. And I'm not sure how to undo it."
"Well... I suggest you figure that out immediately, or your continued employment at this institution will be terminated forthwith." He harrumphed. "An aardvark, of all things... how humiliating. I daresay I would have made an excellent moose, or perhaps a hamster... but an aardvark?"
"Look... I'll try, but I don't even know where to start! I've been like this for all of twelve hours... now I've got to deal with learning advanced reality-warping, too?"
"Yes... and I suggest you get started immediately," he said as he swam away.
Great, thought Frankie, I don't even know how I did this... how do I undo it? It can't be just as simple as willing it... like, I couldn't just...
...well, why not?
She concentrated, focusing her mind entirely on dispersing the soda. As if by magic (actually, it WAS magic, wasn't it?) the liquid vanished into the ether.
"Wow. It actually worked."
One by one, she undid each of the effects of her sneezes, ending with returning Herriman to his rabbit form.
"Ah... yes, that's much better. The prospect of having to root around in the soil for my dinner did not appeal." He smoothed down his waistcoat, pleased. "Now, as for you..."
But Frankie was already gone.
I wish I was me... I wish I was me... Frankie, eyes clamped shut tightly, concentrated as hard as she could on this one thought.
She opened her eyes and looked in the mirror. Three emerald orbs, set in a face of blue, white, and black, looked back at her.
She slumped on the bed. "I guess it would've been too easy if I could just wish myself back to normal." She sighed, deeply. "I can twist and pull the fabric of reality like taffy with a sneeze, but I can't make myself human. This really, really sucks."
There was a knock at the door. "Go away," she muttered. "I'm not really in the mood to see anyone after what happened."
"Not even your dear old grandma?" replied a sweet voice. "Well, tough. I'm comin' in anyway."
Stupid, cheapskate Herriman... can't even part with the money to put locks on the doors...
Madame foster hobbled in slowly. "Came as soon as I heard about what happened this morning," she said. "Of course, it took me a while to actually get here... to this day, I don't know WHY I had them put in so many staircases. Now then, let's have a look at you." She scrutinized her granddaughter. "Hmm... hooves, wings, multiple tails, third eye, horns... yep. You're a Valix all right."
"Mac told you, huh?"
"Nope, figured it out myself. I've got a Masters' in obscure mythology, you know. Never know what kind of creatures they'll bring in, after all... I had to bone up."
"So... what do you know about Valixes?"
"Well, for starters, they're extremely powerful sorcerers. They're also very strong, more-or-less immortal, and among the most benevolent creatures alive."
Frankie groaned. "I already know all that! Do you know if they're able to make themselves human?"
"No, I never heard anything like that. I guess you could always pass yourself off as an imaginary friend – now, there's an idea! You'd make a wonderful guardian friend with your powers. And you're cuddly enough to be adopted right away!"
"What!"
"Oh, lighten up, dearie. I'm joking."
"Well, it's not funny."
"Huh. I thought Valixes were known for their sense of humor. At least one king kept a Valix as a jester. But, I digress. Look... it may feel hopeless at the moment, but you'll get used to the change eventually."
"I don't WANT to get used to the change. I want to be normal."
"Normal? Look around you, dear. Normal is overrated. I wouldn't mind being like you one bit."
"That's because you're not living it right now!"
"Hmmph. I can see there's no talking to you. Well, when you're ready to be yourself again, come on out." With that, she turned and hobbled out.
"I AM ready..." mumbled Frankie morosely. "But I can't be me."
Well... this chapter ends on a downer, I guess...
Next chapter, we'll be hitting fast forward, as we take a look at Frankie's diary, and watch her adapt to her new status quo. Will she get back that lost perkiness of hers? Stay tuned!
