Note: With this story I do not attempt to explain what exactly Dissociative Identity Disorder is, how it is treated and how one lives with it. Furthermore, while I researched the illness I did turn some facts around a bit to have them fit my story.
Also: I don't own Naruto

Chapter One

Ten years later

"Shikamaru Nara, you get your lazy ass down here! If you even dare to think about missing your appointment with doctor Tsunade I'll make every single living day of your life hell, young man."

A voice so loud and screeching it would reach alien worlds outside of the atmosphere resounded through the entire house and the sound broke the silence.

With a huff Yoshino Nara shook her head and quickly made her way upstairs. "Don't you dare pretend to be sleeping." She grumbled.

Without a pause, without a sound of warning she threw open her son's bedroom door, the sound of the door hitting the wall sounding through the entire house.

When she stepped inside and saw her son lying on his bed with a pillow shoved over his head her lips set in a thin line and she placed her hands on her hips.

"Shikamaru Nara!" She said, her voice loud and angry. "For once in your life..." She shook her head.

"I'm asleep." Came the muffled reply from the bed.

"Like hell you are!" Within three strides Yoshino stood next to her son's bed and without a shred of mercy she pulled the comforter the teen was hiding under off of the bed.

"Mom," the brown-haired youth on the bed groaned and shivered from the sadden lack of warmth.

"Shikamaru, for God's sake. This is your last appointment with Tsunade before we move. At least pretend to care." Yoshino scolded with a scowl on her face.

With a yawn Shikamaru pushed himself into a sitting position, scratching the side of his head with a bored expression on his features. "Pretend, mom? What's the use?"

"Fine, be that way." Yoshino spat and turned on her heels.

But before she left the room she turned to watch her son with a serious expression. "Just know that I decide whether or not Chouji and Ino get to spend summer-break at our new house."

Shikamaru's eyes widened slightly and he watched in silence as his mother left.

"Agh, troublesome." He sighed heavily and grumbling he got out of bed to get dressed.


With a bored expression set on his features, which was usual for the sixteen year old, Shikamaru laid on the dark-blue divan.

A sigh passed his lips and he turned his head to watch his psychiatrist do some last-minute paper-work, wondering if this was why he had to hurry so much just an hour ago.

Tsunade, a thirty-something blonde woman with too big breasts, had been Shikamaru's psychiatrist ever since his abduction and even though it had taken both her and another psychiatrist they had done wonders with the then heavily traumatized boy.

Shocked she had been when she heard of a boy aged six in such a mental state and even more aghast when finding out it was a boy from the Nara family, living in the same village as herself.

Knowing that treating Dissociative Identity Disorder was hard to begin with – not even thinking about the boy's age – she had called in the help of Asuma Sarutobi. He was a psychiatrist focussing on hypnotherapy, which she practiced as well, and she knew him through her father.

Together they had unravelled Shikamaru's two alternate personalities with the help of hypnosis. They had gotten so far that the personalities worked together in perfect sync and understood that whatever they did affected the body that housed them too and thus should be done in the best interest of them all.

By now, Asuma had moved and had his own practice in Konoha-village and treatment wasn't as intensive as it had been before.

Sessions between Tsunade and Shikamaru were mostly spent trying to recall black-outs and the cause of them. Because when the alternates within Shikamaru switched, the other suffered a black-out during the time he wasn't the one controlling the body. What triggered the switch and what had happened during it were the two main things that needed to be found out. Because both explained how Shikamaru's brain worked and what was seen as a threat and what wasn't.

Stress was usually a trigger for Shikamaru, Tsunade had found out, as well as sudden anger or extreme anxiety.

With that knowledge Shikamaru knew which situations to avoid so that he wouldn't trigger an unwanted and sudden switch.

Yet not all situations could be avoided or prevented so Tsunade had taught Shikamaru how to perform self-hypnosis. The self-induced hypnosis helped Shikamaru to enter a state of relaxation which was still evident in his body when he woke up from the trance thus resulting in the calmest of his personalities taking control.

Yet performing self-hypnosis came with the warning he was to do that only when completely necessary and in company of persons that knew about his mental illness in case things went south. Having someone around that knew he was able to perform self-hypnosis and the reason why he would be doing it could prove critical in such moments. Yet so far, no such situation had occurred for which both Tsunade and Shikamaru himself were grateful.

The downside to everything was though that no matter how many times Tsunade spoke with Shikamaru while he was under hypnosis, she had never once met his first and original personality. The one that was traumatized the most and thus still needed help. It was frustrating that she couldn't completely help the boy yet there was nothing to be done. All she could do was hope that everything would turn out to be all right.

And with a removal to Konoha-village just a day away she had to admit to being slightly anxious for Shikamaru's well-being.

"Are you going to take all day?"

By now Shikamaru had sat up and was watching Tsunade with a frown on his features. He knew today's session was more of a goodbye than anything else but that didn't mean he had all day to do it.

The blonde looked up from her paper-work, scolding him in a way only she could and never failed to do. "Shut up, brat. These are your files I'm working on."

A frown settled on Shikamaru's face at those words and he leaned his head to the side. "My files?" He informed.

Tsunade snorted and put down the file she was holding in her hands. "You're moving, I need to complete the files so your new psychiatrist will know what I did with you."

"But Asuma will be taking me, he knows." Shikamaru countered.

With a sigh the blonde shook her head. "Regulations." She muttered darkly before turning back to the file. "Nervous about the move?" She asked softly.

With a sigh Shikamaru flopped himself down onto the divan again, looking at the ceiling and shrugging his shoulders. "A bit." He admitted. "Not the move itself but going to a new school."

He was going to enter a complete new world in Konoha-village. His entire life he'd lived in the same town, with the same people and everyone knew about his abduction as a child. At school when he switched alters it was seen as memories flooding back again and he wasn't punished for rude behaviour as other kids were.

He was damaged goods after all.

It had provided him with a safe environment in which everyone knew of his past and everyone would do anything to help him if he ever needed help although it had taken a while for the community to get that far. He'd never really stood on his own two feet, had never met someone who didn't know about his abduction and the possible trauma he now lived with.

And even though it was a relief he didn't have to hide his mental illness, it was also frustrating to always be treated as if he was different. And then there were the people that did know about his mental condition and wouldn't cease to call him names.

Moving to Konoha-village meant he would be surrounded by strangers, no-one treating him different or calling him names and he knew he would have a hard time at school if he were teased or other such things.

But his parents had decided, in consultation with Tsunade and with Shikamaru's approval, that if Shikamaru ever wanted to live his life to the fullest they needed to move away from the home-town he grew up in.

"It's bound to be hard on you." Tsunade said. She pushed her chair away from the desk and walked over to Shikamaru and sat down on the easy-chair which stood next to the divan.

She crossed her legs and studied Shikamaru, who was visibly nervous and obviously curious to hear what she would say next.

"But I think after all the treatment you've had and with the ability to perform self-hypnosis you will be fine." She said encouragingly.

Of course there would be hardships and moments during which he switched without having control about it but it was also true that both alters acted in the best interest of them all.

A sigh passed Shikamaru's lips and he shook his head. "I've never actually preformed self-hypnosis without you present." And if he were honest he had to admit to being nervous to actually trying it.

Granted, he knew exactly when he needed to perform it but that didn't mean he'd actually succeed. And then there was the thing that he didn't see all switches coming. Some he did, when he was slowly getting agitated or something of that sort. And he also knew that when that agitation reached a certain level he needed to perform self-hypnosis. This so his body and mind entered a state of complete relaxation which would prevent the switch.

"You are merely nervous because you are entering a completely new situation." Tsunade stated calmly and afterwards leaned her head to the side with a small smile. "But you forget that thus far you have never had immediate trouble with a switch while you have had several. The nervousness is normal, Shikamaru. It is what everyone feels when running into something unknown. But I also want you to keep reminding yourself that this situation is no different from what you have done at your old school. I want you to know that I have faith in the fact that you will do just fine. Will you believe that too?"

Shikamaru frowned, looking at his hands which were nervously fumbling with his shirt in his lap. "Troublesome..." he muttered.

"You don't like promising things, do you?" Tsunade asked suddenly.

Hazel eyes watched the blonde cautiously before another sigh passed thin lips. "Not when I know I don't believe them."

"You will, Shikamaru." Tsunade said. "Trust me, you will do fine. Have faith in yourself."


Boxes scattered the lawn, furniture was carried into a moving-van by two movers and on the side-walk stood three teenagers, watching silently and all with somewhat sad and disappointed expressions on their faces.

"I can't believe this," one said mournfully, his chubby hands clenching the bag of chips he had brought with him yet didn't feel like eating. Chouji Akimichi simply couldn't believe his best friend was moving to almost the other side of the country. They'd been together for so many years, Shikamaru the only one who hadn't teased him when they were younger and now he would see him only in vacations. If the Nara didn't find himself a new group of friends he'd rather spend time with, of course.

A soft sigh then passed lip-glossed lips. "I might even miss you." Was said softly, sadly and they all knew that Ino Yamanaka meant to say she was going to miss hanging out with Shikamaru a lot. He'd been the only boy she hadn't ever tried to get to like her yet he was the only one so far who stuck with her, no matter what. And she just hoped he wouldn't find himself a girlfriend in Konoha-village, because guys didn't have girlfriends and female friends. They had one or the other and she hoped she would always be the other.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered softly. Because truly, even though moving was the best option for his future, it sucked.

The three of them had been friends ever since they were born since their parents were also friends. Never before had they actually lived in separate places and all three were anxious what this separation would do to their friendship.

Suddenly Ino forced a smile on her lips and she turned around so she was facing her two friends. "I'm not going to miss that complaining of yours, that's for sure." She tried to joke yet her expression looked wry.

"I will," Chouji muttered, shuffling his feet.

Ino sighed and looked to the ground sadly while Shikamaru bit his lip, looking up when he heard his father walk towards them.

"Who died?" Shikaku joked, a grin on his lips while studying his son and his two friends. Yet when he received no answer he said: "Come on, you're still going to see each other in vacations. Considering you're still in school that's going to be a lot. And then there's the phone and those instant messaging things you do."

Crossing her arms in front of her chest Ino huffed. "It's not the same."

A soft sigh passed Shikaku's lips and he shook his head. "It isn't, but you all know why we move." He said and all three youngsters in front of him nodded, albeit reluctantly. "So go, scat, get some ice-cream. Troublesome kids, you're only standing in our way." He said and waved the three off.


Silently they ate their ice-cream.

The scene was so different from what it used to be. Usually there was some teasing banter going on between Chouji and Ino and Shikamaru would throw in a snide remark. Then Chouji would have to step in to keep Ino from attacking Shikamaru because he had somehow offended her.

Chouji had sat down on a bench in front of the swings and Shikamaru sat next to him, his feet on the bench while he sat down on the table.

Both watched as Ino's feet dragged across the ground while she sat on the swing, a sad expression on her face.

"Hey, Shika?" She called out softly and licked her lips. "If you find a girlfriend..." She started, but trailed off insecurely.

"I won't." Shikamaru reassured her with the smallest of smiles gracing his lips. He knew Ino cared about him, as he did for her but it was rare they showed it.

It was different with Chouji. He always told Shikamaru what a great friend he was and he never complained when Ino was ranting about some boy again. It was Chouji's way of showing them he cared but with Shikamaru and Ino, if someone didn't know they were friends they'd never guess.

It was constant banter, crude remarks and complaining from both sides although if he were totally honest he'd have to admit he was grateful for these moments too.

"But," Ino said hesitantly, "that's bound to happen." She muttered softly.

"Ino," Shikamaru said, shaking his head. "Trust me. It won't happen."

Besides him, Chouji chuckled yet Ino wasn't that pleased with such a reaction.

"Well," she stated, slightly offended, "you might think it's troublesome now but you'll fall in love."

"Yeah, I will." Shikamaru agreed with a grin.

Ino blinked and leaned her head to the side with a frown, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulder and pooling in her lap. "Then..." She whispered to herself, knowing she wouldn't get a straight answer out of Shikamaru yet reluctant to give up and not know what her friend was talking about.

"He might get a boyfriend, though." Chouji said gleefully, taking pity on Ino.

A gasp passed Ino's lips and her head shot up, shocked eyes staring at her brown-haired friend in shock. "You're gay?" She asked, although it was more a demand than anything else.

Shikamaru nodded, confirming that yes indeed he was gay. He didn't think Ino would mind too much yet he still felt nervous jitters. Although they were less evident than they had been when he'd told his parents about his preferences. Gods, he'd been so nervous back then he'd been afraid of switching.

It took Ino a mere heartbeat before she regained her composure again and grinned. "Okay, cool. We can gossip about boys sometime..." She trailed off and looked down. "In vacations, you know." She added softly, sadly.

A sigh passed Chouji's lips and Shikamaru's expression fell, a gloomy air falling around the three teens as they sat in silence again, all sunk in their own thoughts.

Yet suddenly Ino perked up and pointed her strawberry flavoured ice-cream at Shikamaru accusingly. Her eyes flashed as they usually did when left out on something and she demanded: "How come Chouji knew and I didn't?"

Chouji blinked and chuckled and Shikamaru's eyes widened, turning to his chubby friend and shaking his head. "No," he hissed. "Lie, if you must."

"Hey!" Ino called out, jumping up from the swing and within a few strides she stood next to the Nara, smacking him on the back of the head. "No lying, I want the truth!" She turned to Chouji and smiled. "Please?"

"Ah– I..." Chouji hesitated, his gaze flickering from Ino to Shikamaru who was glaring daggers at him which promised torture when spilling.

"You can have my ice-cream," Ino offered, only to be shoved in the side by Shikamaru.

"It's nothing." The Nara muttered, his glare now directed at Ino.

"Uh-huh, and I'm Lady Gaga." The blonde snorted.

Shikamaru turned his head to the side and smirked. "Well, with that hair of yours."

"Shut up!" Ino scolded, turning to Chouji with her hands placed on her hips. Never a good thing, both Chouji and Shikamaru knew. "He's moving so you're stuck with me from today on! Choose wisely, Chouji."

Chouji blinked and when he turned to Shikamaru, an apologetic expression on his face Ino cheered in triumph.

"Sorry, Shika." Chouji said with a shrug. "Ino's scary when she's mad."

"Wimp," Ino snorted.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered and turned his head with a huff. "See if you two get to visit during Christmas-break."

Ino giggled at that. "We'll have your mother blackmail you." She stated before turning back to Chouji. "Now come on, how do you know? Did he tell you?"

Chouji's lips quirked up in an amusement and he shook his head. "As if he'd do that." He said, almost teasingly yet there was a serious undertone to his words that had Shikamaru turn his head away.

Because even though the three of them were inseparable they didn't tell each other everything. Rather, Shikamaru didn't share everything.

Not because he didn't want to, but because the aftermaths of his kidnapping and the early stages of his DID had driven people away. People who the young boy had trusted, had thought were friends and had loved with as much abandon as a six-year-old could.

Teachers had shoved him around classes, claiming he was too wild. And he was, for he didn't have his DID under control yet, didn't know how to handle things and thus he switched more often. Yet patience and love were the only things Shikamaru had needed and which most children and some adults hadn't given him. A thing that to anyone – not only a six-year-old – hurt.

It had put a big dent in Shikamaru's ability to trust and because of the fear of personal issues destroying another relationship he held back. By now, it had become more of an unconscious thing rather than something Shikamaru actively thought about. It had become almost automatic to him not to tell things – such as him being gay – to people. Even if they were the two only friends who had stuck with him no matter what.

It was also something both Ino and Chouji knew and respected. Though there was always the lingering hope that one day Shikamaru would be able to fully open up, if not to them then to his partner. Because, after all that he'd been through, it was what Shikamaru deserved in their eyes. A life, a friendship and a relationship without secrets in which he could be himself and was accepted for that.

Suddenly, when an exaggerated sigh passed Ino's lips and as she threw one of her hands into the air Shikamaru was shaken from his thoughts.

"C'mon Chouji," The blonde whined and sneaked a glance at Shikamaru who, when he caught her baby-blue eyes, turned away stubbornly.

"Okay, okay," Chouji snickered, holding up both his hands while shoving himself across the bench, away from Shikamaru and his foot which was trying to kick him.

With the widest of grins the Akimichi said: "I caught him making out."

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered and turned his head away in embarrassment, the smallest of blushes appearing on his cheeks.

Meanwhile Ino giggled, curiously peeking at Shikamaru whose blush deepened under her questioning gaze. "Sexy," she then said, stunning both her friends with her choice of words. A smirk then appeared on her lips and teasingly, although hints of curiosity still seeped into her voice, she asked: "With who?"

Shikamaru choked on his breath, the question taking him by surprise, and Chouji laughed at his friend's reaction.

"Should've seen that coming." Chouji rallied and when Shikamaru muttered "troublesome" under his breath the Akimichi chuckled.

With a grin playing on her lips Ino rolled her eyes. "Share, boys. Information has to be shared!" She hurried them impatiently.

Chouji, about to tell Ino who exactly he'd seen kissing Shikamaru was shoved in the side by said Nara.

"It wasn't even making-out." Shikamaru said, the embarrassed blush still evident on his cheeks. "More like a single kiss to the lips."

Because, if had turned out to be more than that, Shikamaru wasn't sure how he would have reacted. He knew that by now he would have perfect control over his emotions and mind yet two years ago that could have been a completely different case.

"I don't care even if it was a peck on the nose," Ino said and waved her had around in the air. "Just tell me who it is."

Chouji shot Shikamaru a glance and shoved himself away from his friend on the bench with a playful twinkling in his eyes. "Well –" he started but was interrupted when Shikamaru hissed: "Don't you dare!"

"He does dare!" Ino called out, glaring at Chouji. "Come on, Chouji!"

In the end, Chouji gave in, earning himself a joyful squeal from Ino and a glare from Shikamaru.

But the Nara didn't mind that Ino knew. Didn't care that she'd be teasing him for years to come and would chew him out later, probably over the phone, for not telling him sooner.

Because when he stepped into the car he was grateful for that last banter before he moved. Glad that while now he was biting his lips since he refused to cry – unlike Ino and even Chouji had tears in his eyes – an hour earlier he had joked around with both of his friends.

Because now he would enter a complete new life and he was quite certain that the moment his father drove off, it would be some time before he would joke around again.


The classroom was dull, your usual blackboard to one wall, posters hanging onto the wall on the other side of the rectangular room and desks placed in neat lines between them. Students either sat or lolled in their seats, most of them looking relatively bored while others were actually quite interested in finding out who their new classmate was.

Shikamaru, though, was trying his best not to actually look at any of the students in fear of getting even more nervous than he already was.

So instead of nervously smiling at his fellow classmates, he was studying the world-map that hung on the back-wall of the classroom. He'd already studied the motivational poster with the text 'take no challenge lightly-strive for excellence' written in white, curved letters above the picture of a lion staring threateningly at whoever was watching while stepping into a puddle of water.

The fleeting thought that motivational posters didn't truly motivate anyone had crossed his mind but he had refrained from diving deeper into that thought. It wasn't worth his time and besides, he still needed to pay attention to what his new teacher – Iruka Umino – was telling the class in case he asked Shikamaru a question.

So he had settled his gaze on the world-map. He knew it by heart, as he did most things he could read from books. For his DID didn't take the fact away he could be considered a genius. His laziness, though, prevented him from actually doing something with his knowledge and no-one had the heart to change that. Probably fearing he wouldn't be taking the changes too well.

And if he were honest he'd say he didn't mind. He liked to keep things simple and easy-going for himself. It a wall that he used to protect himself, almost like the blankie he'd carried around when he was four. It had been a stuffed, orange-yellow striped cat which he'd called Tigo and his mom had sewed the poor cat's tail on at least a dozen times since the stitches came loose time and time again.

"Shikamaru?"

The teen startled from his thoughts as Iruka, who stood next to him, called out his name. He peeked up almost curiously at his teacher and cocked his head to the side. "Yes?"

The brown-haired man smiled down at his new student and held out his hand to the class, proposing: "Why don't you tell the class something about yourself?"

"Oh," anxiously Shikamaru turned to watch the class in front of him. All students had by now turned to watch him and waited for a short introduction. He wondered briefly why, at the age of sixteen, he still needed to go through all this trouble and introduce himself while it was obvious that the people that wanted to know would ask him themselves. In his opinion, he had nothing to tell. Because he was damned certain he wasn't going to tell anyone about his abduction.

He allowed his gaze to drift over the heads of his new classmates, only seeing the top of their heads and it helped him calm down some.

He didn't like to be the centre of attention and he definitely didn't like speaking in public. The fact twenty-three students and a teacher were now intently watching him, waiting for him to come up with the most amazing things about himself that would get him top-rated on the popular-kids-list right away, was getting to him.

He felt it, the nervousness swirling around in his body and slowly clouding his brain. His hands felt damp as he clenched them into fists behind his back and he suppressed a shiver from running down his back.

He knew it was bad, knew he'd switch if he didn't calm himself down or get this over with quickly. Switching in this situation would be more like a defense, a thing preventing him from making a fool out of himself.

But Shikamaru knew that such a thing was – crudely put – bullshit. Because if he were to switch his wilder, less controllable personality would take care of the situation. And then, instead of coming across as a lazy bum with an uncaring attitude he would seem like a rude bastard with a foul mouth.

Behind his back, his hands clenched together even tighter and this time he couldn't suppress the nervous shiver that ran through his entire body.

Get this over with quickly, he told himself. That was all he needed to do. And quickly was –

"Shikamaru?"

Iruka's questioning voice broke the Nara out of his almost trance-like state and the teenager blinked.

He raised his eyes again and took a calming, deep breath. This, he told himself, would be a piece of cake. Besides sharing his name, age and birthday there wasn't much relevant information and if he just worked up the courage he'd be seated within a time-span of two minutes.

With his facts straight and his mind set Shikamaru pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants and allowed his shoulders to fall into their usual, uninterested slump.

"Yeah, sorry." He said, glancing at Iruka quickly before turning his eyes back to the class, his usual lazy-attitude back in place.

"Hi," he drawled. "I'm Shikamaru Nara, sixteen and my birthday is September 22."

When he stopped talking most of the students watched him with owlish eyes while Iruka turned to him.

"Is that everything you want to tell the class?" The teacher asked, surprised.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered under his breath, wishing the other man would just see that he wasn't comfortable where he was. "If there's more they should ask." He said, turning his eyes to watch Iruka.

The teacher blinked and then shrugged. "All right." He agreed and then pointed to an empty desk next to the window. "There's your seat."

Perfect, Shikamaru decided. He could look outside and watch clouds even as he attended class.

With a small grin crossing his lips he slowly made his way to the desk appointed to him and from behind him Iruka called out to the class: "Guys, be nice, okay?"

With soft murmurs the class agreed yet Shikamaru didn't believe a word of what was said.

They'd tease him if they wanted to. Call him names if he did something stupid and when they would find out he was gay he would be shunned by some.

And it was just what he hoped for. A normal life even though he wasn't too sure how he would handle that.

He threw his bag onto his desk and with a loud sigh sat onto his seat, immediately slumping against the back.

He hated the fact that some girls giggled as he passed and wanted to roll his eyes at the fact a few guys glared at him for receiving said giggles. Couldn't they see he wasn't interested in them?

Beside him, someone cleared his throat and with a raised eyebrow the Nara turned his head. He leaned his head to the side a bit when he caught sight of the guy sitting at the desk next to him, appreciating the pale skin and long, chocolate-colored hair yet not allowing his eyes to stray.

Although looking up in those opalescent eyes wasn't the smartest of moves either. They were intriguing, he thought. But not intriguing enough to cross a line and ask something as personal as how the teen got the eye-color. For all he knew, the guy could be wearing contacts.

"Yes?" He asked, his tone lazy and he stretched his legs in front of him.

The long haired teen chuckled and shook his head. "Nothing. Just wanted to introduce myself."

Shikamaru nodded and extended his hand to the other teen. "Well, you already know my name." He said with a grin.

"That I do." The other replied and took Shikamaru's hand in his. "I'm Neji Hyuuga." He said, his voice smooth and Shikamaru suppressed a shiver when his hand was released.

"Pleasure to meet you." Neji said with a nod. "Welcome to Konoha-village."

TBC.