The Sweet Escape

CHAPTER 2

Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans: Every Reason to Bolt away in Fear


BE AWARE: STEP INTO THE WRONG ROOM AND DOOM SHALL REIGN…WELL NOT REALLY, WE JUST LIKE TO FRIGHTEN PEOPLE; BUT SERIOUSLY, OPEN THE WRONG DOOR AND YOU'LL BE FACING STICKY SITUATIONS… AND SOME ANGRY BEANS.

THESE ARE THE RESULTS WHEN YOU EXPERIMENT WITH MUGLLE LIQUOR AND SWEETS.

~ Sincerely Fred and George Weasley; founders of WWW


"You alright down there Ginny?"

"I do hope that wasn't supposed to be humorous Harry, because I am certainly not laughing!" she chided from the small room. "I can't see anything here, pass me your wand. Lumos."

The room was larger than it had first appeared; the walls were wooden and covered in posters of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans and its creator: Bertie; a stout man, with glasses and a baldhead shaped oddly enough to be a bean itself; yet she still had to crawl her way through.

Ginny started forward, careful not to hit her head against the ceiling. Seeing a small door at the end of the room she called out to Harry, who ungracefully jumped in.

"Oomph," Harry cried, massaging his head. "Well who'd have thought I'd be too tall for a room?" Harry had to hunch his slight 5'8'' height further as the room progressed. "Have you noticed anything unusual Ginny?"

She turned to see Harry almost on his hands and knees, awkwardly slumping his way toward her. She laughed at him and continued on. She didn't care that the roof was progressively shrinking the closer to the door they came: she was just glad for another escape route.

"You might find it amusing, but personally, I don't like resembling a troglodyte from our pre-evolutionary human form. All I need now is the fur and webbed feet."

"No, just the webbed feet…" she joked, Harry not amused at all and bumped into her backside. "No funny business!"

"Well its hardly my fault, I bumped into you! If you're currently unaware, my head is at a slightly uncomfortable angle at present, and the least of my concerns are watching what's ahead of me!" He sat back and waited for Ginny to unlock the door. Glancing around he noticed the room was bean-shaped. The walls were striped black, yellow, red and blue and the images on the walls were bags of moving coloured sweets, and it had changed a few metres ahead.

"Done." Ginny shot a triumphant smile towards Harry. "Come on let's go!"

He followed her through, giving her a nudge when her full backside got stuck in the small door; this time she didn't take a swipe at him. He felt like he was in Alice in Wonderland, as he travelled through the tiny door and into an unknown space. He just hoped they landed on solid ground.

"Ugh!" she lit the room with Harry's wand and stood, glad to be able to stretch her back. The room was identical to the previous but slightly higher: Harry's head just missed the colourful ceiling. "Bloody hell, it's still striped!"

Harry looked up, "It's identical, and I bet there's a corridor and door at the end." They both turned to see just that. "Look, let's see where it leads to and if it's the same place: then we'll scream and shout."

He led the way this time, his manly pride not to be tarnished, and unlocked the door with a simple turn of the handle. Too easy, he mused. Fitting through the door effortlessly, he was disappointed not to give Ginny another nudge, don't think about that now, just don't think at all. "It's still the same looking room." But the ceilings were far higher and a weird, yeasty smell emanated from the place , he felt dizzy.

Ginny gave an angry sigh and leaned against a stripy wall, closing her eyes. This is ridiculous! I knew it was too good to be true. Oh bugger, what now?! She tried to push herself off the wall but she was stuck; sticky goo was latching her to the wall. "Harry?"

"Oh what now?" he casually turned to see her eagerly trying to pull herself from the wall. "Well it seems you've become quite attached to this festering building, as I knew you would!" she stopped fidgeting; and if looks could kill, he'd be six feet under. He chuckled.

"Oh stop laughing and make yourself useful. I really can't take anymore surprises today." Ginny snapped and looked at anywhere but Harry. It was hard enough she was alone with him in this decrepit factory- but in such close proximities…she blushed.

Harry read what he thought was pain on her face and decided not to tease her anymore: well, not until she got off the wall. "Here, I'll try ripping you off." He grabbed at her arm and pulled. It stuck hard and he fell back with a force and cursed.

"Ouch!"

He grabbed at both arms and tried again, this time the stripy goo on the walls slithered its way onto his arms. Bringing his hand to his face, he smelled the colourful slush and deciding that you only live once (or in his case several times) and tasted some; earning him a repulsed expulsion from Ginny.

The liquid tasted like raspberry and something else... bitter; with a curious glance at the yellowish colour on his hands, he tasted that too: lemon, thank heavens, for he thought it bogey flavoured at worst.

Ginny, useless and stuck, stared at Harry with unabashed horror. Was he eating the despicable goo that clung her to the wall, and was relishing it? "Glad that you are enjoying yourself, I really am, but I wouldn't mind that feeling to be reciprocated." Her eye twitched as Harry tried the black coloured goo. "GET ME OFF THEN STUFF YOUR FACE!"

Harry spat out the sweet: he could have done without that flavour. Oh well, he mused, with that attitude she wasn't going to get off the wall!

He glanced around the room, thankful it had higher ceilings so he could stand, and thought it to be the Bertie Bott Bean wing: at least it was safe, save for the lunatic stuck on the wall; there were no giant killer frogs here! However there was a door, and wondered if he should open it or not, figuring it would probably be another replica of the past two.

He decided to take a gamble and walked towards it. "Harry?! You're leaving me here? You can't!?"

"I can and I am…" she wished she had bothered to master a wandless jinx. "Just relax, maybe it's like quicksand, the more you move around, the more wedged in you'll be…" he ignored her protests and pulled it open. He saw nothing until a little movement on the floor caught his eye…

The floor was covered in over a thousand tiny figures; at a closer look, he recognised them as Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans- in a multitude of colours and flavours: like the animal he was, his mouth watered. He glanced ahead and saw beans that were about two metres in height at the other end of the room. He quickly shut the door in case they decided to come alive.

Ginny meanwhile was feeling dizzy; she could feel the goo absorb itself through her skin: it tasted and smelled oddly like…no, it couldn't be alcoholic? She saw Harry and spat, "So Pissy Potter, what did you see?"

"A little House Elf dancing to the Nut-bush and singing, "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston. What do you think?"

She had followed his advice and tried to relax against the wall but did not budge. She was doomed to stay on this wall for the rest of her life, until some monster came to disembowel her; she'd probably taste nice, with the added flavours from the gunk- though she tried not to think about it.

She turned from Harry in anger and decided to think again. Her previous plan: flipping the cockroach over on its back, in its simplicity and totally absurdity had worked- so she decided to play dumb again.

Bertie Bott's Beans were like the muggle Jelly Beans; you couldn't melt them like the chocolate frogs, but then an idea struck to her: freeze them! She had once tried it as a child and had lost a tooth in the process; the "jelly" turning rock hard consequently. She thought she might as well try it, that way as the goo froze, Harry could then pull her from the wall with a little more ease: perfect!

She told him the idea and he shook his head in bemusement. "You never cease to amaze me Ginny. Only a sister of the WWW could come up with a plan like that."

"Well they work don't they?" she shot back in childish retort. "Come on Harry, freeze me…"

"Okay," he whispered a freezing spell and manoeuvred the wand around Ginny to hit the wall. The goo crystallised to from iced sweets, and he made a note to himself to try it sometime.

"Ooh it's c-c-cold H-Harry," the wall against her was solid ice and went through her clothes. "That's enough, t-try p-pull me of-ff-fff."

"Maybe I should melt it? It might liquefy?"

"NO! Just…just me o-off."

He grabbed at her hand and repeated the step he performed only moments before. She gasped in pain as her back pulled away from the wall. He grabbed at her other arm and pulled harder, and she miraculously fell from the wall leaving her cloak behind- and landed on top of him.

Her head spun from the sudden whiplash of the pull and she gazed down into amused bright pools of emerald green. Shaking her head she tried to get up, pushing up against the hard form beneath her, who slightly muffled a groan of pain: so she thought.

Watching her struggle to gain composure, he could feel the icy cold of her body against his: he bit at his lip from the sensation. She was very small against him, and he was not hunk of a man, feeling no pain as she pushed at him. He grabbed her arms and sat up; she ended up straddling him so closely that their bodies were less than two inches from each other.

She felt herself warming up, though unsure why. Slowly her eyes adjusted to her surroundings and her question was answered. "Oh Merlin, sorry Harry!" she found as hard as she tried, she couldn't get up, every time she did so, she fell back down: still straddling Harry.

If she fidgeted against him anymore, he wouldn't be able to help himself and would push her down and kiss her senseless: didn't she know what she did to him? Glancing up at her flushed form, her brilliant curls covering face, he noticed the discarded robe still latched on the wall, leaving her with a pair of hipster jeans and a modestly cut V-necked top but in the current situation he found it difficult not to look at her.

Deciding it was the gentleman's thing to do; he stood up and took her with him. She leaned against him and pushed herself away, determined not to look weak and helpless in his arms; but ended up on the floor anyway. "Whoops!'

Running a hand through his hair, he looked down at her helpless form; watching her giggling into hysterics. "Are you drunk Ginny?"

She shook a finger at him and hiccuped. "No silly," hiccup. "I just feel very—dizzy. Whoa." She tried to stand up again and failed.

She took the hand he offered and pulled herself up and fell against him yet again: the damnable wench! "W-hen did you start working out?" she traced her fingers innocently around the muscles on his chest, visible due to the missing buttons on his shirt from the frog onslaught, and he stifled a groan: what was she doing?

He too felt a little dizzy, and it wasn't just because Ginny was drawing pictures on his chest, but after he had tasted some of the goo from the walls. He had noted the bitterness amongst the sweet, but had thought little of it. Sitting Ginny on the floor, he stalked over to one of the unfrozen walls and breathed in the smell again: a pungent aroma, he remembered though could not a name to it.

Ginny crawled over towards him like a helpless babe and copied Harry. "We look like idiots Harry." She then scrunched up her nose, moving away. "Smells like Ron…and the George."

Ahh, well that explained it all. One of the old concoctions the Weasley twins had invented tasted oddly like English beer with a hint of something else. They had said it was their little secret, now he knew it wasn't just one flavour but a few of them: Bertie's Bean's actually. But, how did these walls get a taste of the Weasley potion?

Forgetting to ponder, he searched around for his drunken little wench, who probably hadn't tasted any Muggle alcohol in her life, and instead heard a door slam. Bugger.

Running towards the door he opened it to see Ginny flicking around the little beans and playing Jacks with them. "Hey Harry I'm up to seven!"

"Dear God," he whispered, not certain of what worried him more: the supposedly evil beans over the other side of the room (had they just winked?) or the intoxicated witch in front of him. "Come on get up Ginny."

"Why are you whispering?" she yelled and Harry winced: they moved.

He couldn't pull out his broom, it was battered from the last battle and the ceilings were too low to fly; he hoped that they weren't evil beans, but how bad could they be?

"Look Harry, an apparating post is over there. Maybe we can apparate out of here?" so she wasn't totally off her rockers, she smiled in triumph before sitting on a whole batch of beans. "Oh thank heavens these are soft. Ooh!" she giggled as the beans beneath her moved, "they're massaging my bottom!"

The other sweets in the room jumped up, the smaller ones turning to the side, hit the floor again and started rolling their way quickly to Harry and Ginny. As the first approach a metre from the two, another row of slightly larger beans started rolling their way as well.

Harry almost laughed at the sheer stupidity of the situation and decided to stay stationary, believing the small beans would make no impact on his body. As the tiny beans hit his shoe, he only felt a tingle on foot: he might just survive this onslaught!

This time sniggering, he decided to make his way to the far right of the room where he saw a small passage to escape. He grabbed hold of Ginny and half carried her dizzy form toward it.

As he reached the middle of the room, the large beans rolled towards the escape route and blocked the path. All was still for a small moment, except for Ginny who thought the whole situation was quite hilarious and picked up a bean and ate it.

"Mmm, Apple."

Beans half the size of Ginny rolled their way fiercely towards them: he knew he could ward them off, but Ginny was another matter. Deciding to out run or roll them, he dragged Ginny and headed toward the door that led them to the goo-room. He suddenly felt a powerful force sweep him off his feet, and he crashed into a wall.

Ginny had just gone tumbling to the side, unaware of the onslaught of beans heading toward her. She seemed to still for a moment, shaking out of her drunken state; which had been caused due to the previous room's' yeasty aroma. "What? Oh my God!"

Harry, it would seem, was stuck to the wall, highly unamused and devastatingly dishevelled in his state. He was handsome no doubt about that, the messy black hair and the piercing green eyes, that he no longer hid behind thick frames; the long and lean of his chiselled body… Ginny went out of her trance and Harry called toward her as another row of beans rolled their way towards her.

She hissed in pain as they attacked her side, but having been trained to take much more of a beating by Quidditch, she wasn't going to be defeated by sweets…let alone beans. The beans were pushing her toward Harry and she had the unsettling feeling they wanted her attached to the wall beside him. It would've been a perversely romantic had they had the choice of being alive.

Digging her heels into the floor, she gathered her body and rolled on top of the beans with another hiss of pain. They were just under half the size of her; it was like rolling over a coffee table but damn were they hard!

"Oomph," she cried as another bean rammed into her stomach. "Dammit." She quickly stood and barely dodged the last of the beans that came her way. She turned to see Harry now smothered in goo after all the rolling beans had lost control and smashed into the wall, splurging a huge amount of muck all over the place- mostly on Harry.

Smothering a giggle: she would blame it on her inebriated state, she hastily moved toward Harry, hoping to perform the same spell he had on her: however, she didn't get a chance to as the largest bean hurled her way. She too hit the wall with an alarming thud, fortunately at the sheer size of the sweet; it had broken a hole into the wall and released Harry from its gummy grasp.

Cursing, Ginny rose to her knees and rubbed her face with her hands. She called over to Harry who too was getting up, though cursing all the way. "You okay Harry?"

"My whole body got smacked with a bean Ginny …a bean! And it was that bad it broke the wall…" he pointed to the gap they had flown from. "I broke through a solid wall: a couple of inches thick and it was all because of a BEAN! How do you think I'm feeling?"

"Well I'd be embarrassed," she mumbled. Safe for the moment from the onslaught of beans, she stubbornly stood and shoved her fists on her hips. "Harry now's not the time to whinge about your bruised pride…"

Running a sticky hand through his hair, he wasn't impressed when Ginny stifled a laugh at his hair. He probably shouldn't have let her watch that Muggle movie about some girl called Mary. It was the mucks fault! It shaped his hair into an overly rigid stick of some sort. "Merlin's balls Ginny, its got nothing to do with my pride…it's the BEANS…we're getting slaughtered by beans! How can I explain to you the sheer stupidity of the situation…?"

"In the form of abstract dance?"

"I can take on Voldemort, I can handle the female menstrual cycle…but I have a slight issue with abnormally large sadistic chocolate frogs and confused beans who think they are bowling balls…am I the only one who thinks so?"

Ginny took it rather well. "Well, since we haven't asked anyone else on the planet, I wouldn't gamble on it. It's not going to do us much good complaining we need a plan."

"Ah shit," he heard a thudding sound coming from the other room and shut his eyes tight. Holy Merlin, this was a nightmare.

Ginny grabbed his wand and put a locking spell on the door. The thudding got louder and they moved away from the door. "Ah Ginny, I don't think these things use doors…"

A second later the wall in front of them burst apart and the biggest bean they had ever seen rolled its way towards them. Cursing yet again, he sent a silent prayer to whoever was having a good laugh at their expense, and damned them to this hell they were trying to flee from. Grabbing Ginny's hand, barely escaping the objects coming their way, they started to make their way to the door that led to the tiny room.

"The only way to get out is to go to the source. There was a portal in there, if we can get to that, we might get out of here," Harry called over his shoulder; all the while Ginny had her head tucked in her arm to protect herself from the falling ceiling.

She was cut, bruised and bleeding, not to mention she hadn't slept in almost twelve hours: or so it seemed, it felt like she was in here for ages. "Where's your wand?" She must've dropped it...

He didn't know and he had no time to respond as more beans hurdled there way at them from his side, luckily they were much smaller and he only momentarily lost his balance. He felt Ginny's body slowly getting heavily as her energy slowly drained. "Hang on a bit more Ginny …"

They had reached the room surprised to see an empty space: or at least Ginny was; Harry thought it was slightly suspicious.

He had a theory, oh and what a great one it was: the Bertie Bott Beans were an army of beans serving to protect the only escape route: the mysterious blue portal on the other side of the room. The mini beans, who were huge in their own right, were commanded by the multicoloured giant Colonel bean that was rolling its way…Merlin's melons, as Ginny would say, it was just over the other side of the room…

Ginny falling for the trap had run into the room to get Harry's wand that was mysteriously positioned in the centre of the empty room.

"GINNY!" Harry called, but it was too late, the beans hidden by the shadows had emerged and had rolled onto Ginny. "Shit!"

"Ah," she had screamed, and had done so each time the beans had rolled on top of her: fortunately not the large ones. "God damn these little shits!" I wonder what colour flavour that bean would be...she thought in her hysteria; and slowly faded out of consciousness.

Harry began to run toward Ginny, who he no longer could see under the beans and suddenly stopped. He turned to stare at the master bean: the multicoloured Colonel bean who controlled the pack. He raised his dark brow and inclined his head as a challenge for the evil bean: who too moved a little in response.

And so they had stayed that way in a staring contest to determine the stronger of the two nutcases. The beans covering Ginny had dissipated and she roused to consciousness to see the great wizard Harry Potter in a staring contest with a bean. "I must've been hit harder than I thought…I'm going to go back to sleep now…"

Harry who had seen Ginny fall back into sleep and turned to face her and broke contact with the bean: shit! The Colonel bean was victor had decided a quick trample over the two humans who had intruded into its territory and pounced ready to roll.

The others followed suit and Harry had only a few seconds to grab at Ginny and run toward the portal. Turning he wrapped his arms about her waist and carried her sluggish form across the room, narrowly missing the onslaught.

Flinging them both on the portal he grabbed at his wand, now broken in Ginny's hand, and muttered a quick spell, not sure of its consequence but not caring at the slightest.

He suddenly felt a pull at his chest as his and Ginny's body was flung into another room: hopefully leading him to the exit. He opened his eyes to a dark room and a withering figure beneath him. He breathed a sigh of relief: she was alive.

"Harry?" Ginny stirred.

He looked down at the brunette sleepy beneath him, "Stay awake Ginny, come on." He gently slapped at her face. "GINNY!"

"Ouch Harry, my ears…"

"Come on, you may have a concussion, you can't sleep…'

"But it feels so nice, just a few minutes Harry…I had this weird dream with beans…"

"Weasley!" He shook her shoulders roughly and pulled her up into a sitting position against his chest. "If it were another time, then yeah, I could do with the quiet: but for now… Ginny!"

She slowly opened her eyes and closed them again: he was losing her so did the only thing he knew how to do: he kissed her.


SouredSweetie