Chapter 2 – A Decision

Kensi pov

As I paced back and forth in my living and the minutes kept passing by, I thought I had never been any more nervous than I was right there. And Nell…I had talked to her ages ago and she still wasn't here! Thank god Deeks hadn't decided to show up… 'Cause well that would be… awkward.

Finally I heard a knock on my door, I waited a few seconds to make sure it wasn't Deeks and then I opened. In front of me stood a rather freaked out Nell Jones, a lot more shaky than usual. "Hey Kens, I'm sorry I took so long… I needed a cold shower and-"

"Hey, it's fine, I needed one too… Come in!" I said stepping aside to let her in. I closed the door and watched as Nell sat on the couch. "Can I get you something?"

"No, thanks I'm good here." Nell said with a weak smile on her face. I sat down next to her and then Nell looked at me, who was staring at the wall. "So… How was it?" She asked probably not knowing exactly what else to say…

I shook my head and sat up straight. "Well…" I started, "I'm in a dilemma…" I took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. "I enjoyed the night. I did. I mean, it was fun, we were careful and lovely really but…" I got up and started pacing back and forth in front of the TV once again. Lost in my thoughts I forgot what I was about to say and Nell had to save me.

"Kensi! But what? What's wrong?" Nell had to shake me off of dreamland, otherwise I wouldn't be able to finish my line of thought.

"I… It's just that… We're partners!"

"So what Kensi? Everyone knows you and Deeks would get together eventually! It was just a matter of time and you know it too Kens…" Nell sighed and got up to stand in front of me. "It's in your hands now to figure out what you want to do, end the dwell inside of you between your uncertainties and your feelings and decide if Deeks is worth the shot!" She said it and I was utterly astonished. The first thing on my mind was: Deeks would always be worth the shot! But that was something I couldn't say out loud…Not yet.

"I know… It's not easy and I don't even know how he feels. The thing is now I have to go talk to him because truth be told I kinda left him there just completely clueless! Right? That's the right thing to do, isn't it Nell?" I asked her and I felt like a crazy woman.

Nell nodded and I have to admit I was relieved. Then she asked me sincerely, "And do you know what you want to tell Deeks?"

"I guess I still have to think about some things…" And just like that the conversation about Deeks felt like it was over. Seeing Nell's worried look I sensed it was time to help her out with the Eric theme. "Nell, tell me how did it ended up happening?"

"Happening what?" She asked trying to avoid the truth. Nell sat back down on the couch and I followed. I opened the box of donuts I have strategically placed atop the coffee table and stretched it to Nell. She shook he head but I took one out before talking again.

"You…And Eric? How did it happen? I mean… We saw you guys leaving together after dancing for like an hour like a real couple, but we didn't know you would…"

"Yeah well… I was giving him a ride home because he had walked to the bar and in the car he…he took my hand in his and squeezed it. I looked at him and simply smiled, I was really nervous. And then I don't know… We reached his house and he just didn't let go of my hand. Next thing we know we we're kissing and…then I woke up and I got the hell out of there…and well here we are now…" Nell quickly explained with an awkward smile. "Kensi, I love Eric. I do. But how am I supposed to tell him that?"

"Nell, just… tell him. You two are great together and I can tell he'll be relieved about that." I'm not usually the type of girl who is used to give love advices but it is Nell and Eric and it's obvious and everyone sees it but them…

Nell nodded and she showed a confident smile this time. "You're right, I have to go look for Eric. Thank you Kens." We started walking to the door and when Nell was outside she turned around and said, "Have you ever thought about taking your own advices? You should one of these days!"

I shook my head at her words. Nell was right, I should listen to my own advices sometimes and this situation was definitely one of those… But I still had to think about what I wanted to tell Deeks. So there I was, alone again, feeling confused…no, not confused, overwhelmed? Maybe. Out of my comfort zone? Definitely. But I knew what I wanted…Right! I just didn't have what I wanted because I was scared. And that's one of the biggest regrets of my life, not going for something that I love because I'm scared of the consequences…

Blame it on my damn past!, I thought.

Deeks pov

"I think blew it man… I waited for so long always afraid of what she might say or do but I had to man up! So when she took me home yesterday, I made a move. She didn't deny it in that moment but she took off as soon as she saw my face this morning, completely freaked out!"

"Not such a sleeping beauty in the morning Eric?" I asked as we sat on our surfboards on our favorite beach in Malibu waiting for some waves to come. He glared at me. Apparently after Kensi left my house, not too far away Nell ran away from Eric's. I decided to surf for the rest of the morning, clear my head, but my poor brain's so full of Kensi Marie Blye plus when I arrived at the beach I saw Eric entering the water. And that was like two hours before our current conversation. I had been trying to lighten up the mood ever since not only for Eric but for me as well. "Look man, she'll come around."

"How can you be so sure of yourself?" Eric asked.

"It's Nell." I answered matter-of-factly looking at him. "Dude, she loves you! Everyone can see it but you… Don't worry, it's not like she's Kensi…" I looked down at my surfboard feeling completely lost. I hadn't felt like that since my first and only actual girlfriend left me because 'she got tired of the same routine', or so she said. Except that in that time I was 21 and we had been dating since high school.

I met Rachel, that's her name, in my sophomore year. I was 15 and my only friends were Noah and Ty – the three of us formed the coolest band from LA, the Touching Wood-, the rich kids didn't want to be friends with the people from our neighborhood but Rach wasn't like that. She was new in Los Angeles, her parents were modest workers and they all came here so her father could take on a job offer. So they left Chicago and Rachel went to my school, in my class. I think I fell for her pretty quickly at least that's what the guys were always saying. There was a group of girls who were always bugging her because she was new and she wasn't that rich. One day we were on our way home a few blocks away from school when we saw those girls bullying Rachel. Ty, Noah and I had to save the poor girl. Ever since that day the four of us were always together and we eventually started dating. Half a year later, I met her parents and she met my mom, I already knew her brother and she already knew my sister, they went to the same school.

After graduation, almost a year and a half later, I went to Law School in UCLA and Rachel went to Austin, University of Texas for her degree in Architecture. We kept in touch, we would visit each other but eventually we finished our courses in July 1999. She came back home and we talked about moving in together when we started working in October. We never made that dream come true… With work came stress, with stress came occasional fights and with the fights came words we regretted. Another year went by though and in the middle of September 2000, 13th September 2000 actually, we hit our break point. We had this huge fight about our future and in the end she said, "I'm sorry Marty, I can't do this anymore… It's not you, it's me. I just don't…I don't feel the same." I'll never forget the words with which Rachel Pierce left me, a 21 year old kid with a broken heart. Two years later someone told me she was engaged to a doctor, a neurosurgeon from Sacramento, 10 years older than her. At least I hope he makes her happy…

Ever since the day we broke up I promised myself I would never ever rely on another woman so deeply unless I was sure she was the one. And she is the one…

Eric patted my back and shook away my thoughts, fortunately. "What happened with you two Deeks?" He finally asked and I had to let it out.

"I was supposed to drive her to the club yesterday but my car wouldn't start. So she took us and when she drove me back to my place I asked her to stay and grab a beer. But with the first beer came the second and when I realized, I was out of beer in the house. We fell asleep on my couch and she woke up around 4 am. I woke up too and I was no longer tipsy. And apparently neither was Kensi because when I walked her to the door she started to put her heart out. Then BAM! Out of the blue she kisses me and tries to walk away. But I didn't let her go, I couldn't. So I made a move and we spent the night together… The problem was when this morning she disappeared. She said 'I'm sorry Deeks…' and walked away. I think that know she needs space, I guess…" There. I said everything I needed to say and I still felt lost…

I stared at the shore, I could feel my eyes becoming teary, when I saw a little figure next to our things. Definitely a woman. For a moment I thought it was Kensi but she was too short. It could only be one person then… "Hey Eric isn't that your girl holding your towel? I told you she would come back!" I told Eric who grinned as if Christmas had arrived earlier. But instead of catching a wave to go and talk to Nell, the man just stood there sitting on his board. "Dude what are you waiting for? Go! Let me tell you…if that girl there was Kensi I wouldn't have thought twice before going to the water! You shouldn't either Eric…"

Before catching the next wave he looked back at me. "You should tell her all that you just told me bro…and what you didn't but I know you were thinking." And with that he left to reach the shore and in a few minutes Eric and Nell were out of my sight. I decided to go for lunch and then come back to the beach until I was dying of hypothermia due to the freezing water.

XX

Sunday was pretty much like Saturday: lonely, scary but calm and soothing. I surfed all weekend to try and keep my mind off of Kensi but it was god damn hard! And the problem is the woman has an overwhelming power over me and she doesn't even realize it, and that's what kills me.

In the morning I received a text message. I was in the kitchen so I ran to my living room thinking it was Kensi. Yeah right! It was Eric's ID.

THANKS FOR THE HELP MAN! IT WORKED OUT AND I BELIEVE YOU'RE THE FIRST TO KNOW THE NEWS. –E

I was disappointed but smiled at the thought that my friends were finally together, like they were supposed to. I texted him back.

WAY TO GO BRO! I'M GLAD YOU GUYS ARE FINALLY TOGETHER. –D

A minute or two went by and he answered.

THANKS DEEKS. REMEMBER WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY, JUST DO IT! YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE, RIGHT?

As I sat on my board that afternoon I couldn't stop thinking about Eric's message. I needed to tell Kensi. Talk to her, not just showing her that I love her. She obviously knew that now… Around 6 pm I went home, I was starving. The last few months had been…tough, at least. Everyone could see I was different, I was not myself. I lost many things after being tortured but one of the worst things was losing my appetite.

During my recovery when I came back home, on the days Kensi was not there to help me with my bruises or simply spend time with me, I would almost always forget to eat or drink. I started losing a lot of weight and Kensi noticed it and that's why she started coming to my place every day after work and whenever it was her lunch time she would call me to remind me she had put the leftovers from our dinner in the previous night in the fridge. That was one the main things that helped get back on my feet. Maybe not the call but definitely Kensi… Well things would never go back to what they were before but having Kensi by my side, I have to say, it helped. A lot.

Around 7pm I was sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen island with a plate of macaroni and cheese in front of me when I heard someone knocking at my door. Monty ran to the door whimpering. It probably was Mrs. Wainwright complaining about leaving Monty in the backyard while I was gone. I opened absentmindedly ready to apologize. "Oh I'm so-" But I was cut off when I looked at the person before me.

"Hi. Can I talk to you?" I couldn't believe it. The reason of my restless nights was standing in front of me once again. Kensi Marie Blye was right there asking shyly if she could talk to me. I swear I had never seen her like that… And I was so impressed that I forgot to answer her, instead I just stared at her mismatched eyes.

"Uh-sure. Come in…" I answered after several seconds of silence. As I stepped aside to let her in and closed the door, I ruffled the hair in the back of my neck and thought to myself, This will be a long night Marty…

XX

First of all, thank you so much for all your reviews! They really help me improve and write faster and better…

Secondly, what do you say? What do you think it should happen between the two of them? Please review and leave your opinion =)

Stay Awesome,

Rita