Chapter 2: To Ponder

The remaining hours of the night were spent on the edge of Riku's bed; his head perched on the back of his hand. He glanced over to his nightstand. Red numbers blared 7:00 am on his clock, and still he could find no rest. He got up, the bed creaking from the lack of weight, and he stretched up his arms, toned biceps over his head. Despite his physical strength, he couldn't save himself from these frightening visions.

Nearly two days without sleep.

It was frustrating, knowing this wasn't easy to just ignore.

He clutched his door knob, and turned it, peering into the empty hallway. He made his way to the bathroom, and switched on the light. The island house was very quiet, morning still seeping in. Riku reached into the shower, turning the faucet on away from him. Cold water began to pour down, gradually increasing in temperature. The water was the only noise, but Riku's thoughts could easily overpower that.

Each dream started off with someone speaking to him. Calling his name, and whispering at first. But the volume would crescendo, and then die off again, echoing into nothing.

Succumb to the darkness…

Follow your shadow…

You have nothing to fear…

Riku pulled his shirt off, tossing it onto the counter and meeting his reflection.

"Follow my shadow?" he asked himself.

That was ridiculous!

He couldn't just give in like that. He knew the dangers and consequences of turning back to the evil oblivion, so far away and yet so close to light it was absolutely terrifying.

Was it returning?

No…it couldn't be.

This wasn't new; he had been in darkness before… He had been a part of it once, so corrupted and controlled by someone who's greed and avarice for power ended up swallowing him into the whole mess of things. He was a shadow once; a mindless and contaminated shadow. The desire for sovereignty, the temptations were all too much only a year ago. He thought he was saved, wiped clean. But no. It was coming back again, he realized.

But why now? He remembers how the void filled him with satisfaction and confidence, giving him the ability and strength to do practically anything. Everything seemed to come easily, no morals, no limits, no conditions…it was a utopia.

He shook his head hurriedly, and tried to get his mind off the subject. However troubling the matter was, he had to ignore it, and try to get some sleep tonight. He gripped the countertop, lowering his head and closing his eyes, helplessly fighting his own physiological being.

I'm so lost…

He clutched his temple, a headache beginning to stir in his cranium.

These have gotta come to an end…

He turned on the faucet, cupping his hands and filling them with water, washing his face, alleviating a fraction of the stress coursing through him.

He closed his eyes, leaning against the counter helplessly.

The knob on the door stirred, turning and giving a metallic shift. Riku's eyes snapped open, turning to the nose. The door opened to reveal a girl about his age, brown hair with red tints and glassy blue eyes. Riku turned to immediately see her blush, her cheeks warm and pink despite that she had probably just woken up.

"Kairi?" He asked, water still dripping from his face and hair.

She gave a small laugh, after digesting his unexpected appearance.

He wondered what was going through her mind. Probably how she'll spend the day, what flowers she'll go and pick. Innocent things.

Innocence.

He wished he still had some.

"Sorry, I'll just use the bathroom downstairs." She said, quietly closing the door.

"No, you don't have to… I can just wait outside." He mustered with a yawn, grabbing the side of the door gently, and prevented it from closing.

Kairi looked to him with a sense of indecision, keeping her eyes from scanning his torso.

"You okay?" she asked him, folding her hands behind her back.

"Yeah. It's just early." He lied hurriedly.

Kairi raised her eyebrow, suspicion growing in her face.

"All right." She sighed, and traded places with Riku.

Riku went outside, leaning against the wall and quietly waited for her to finish whatever she was doing. Guilt filled him. He crossed his arms over his bare chest, and sighed. He hoped this would let up, so he could at least function. He couldn't keep this up, and he had to sleep. But not during the day; that would just be weird. His eyelids stubbornly refused to keep his blue-green irises visible.

He was exhausting himself. Should he tell her? It seemed like the honest thing to do. No. If he was going to tell her, or Sora, he'd have to sugar-coat it and deliver it as simply as possible. He knew with Kairi, it would be a therapist session; therefore he needed to put a cherry on her explanation to avoid that.

The door opened again, and he peered over to her, regaining his ego that he desperately clung to, trying to hide his state of fatigue.

"Finished?" he asked.

Kairi nodded to him. "Yeah, thanks." She looked up to meet his eyes, walking away from the bathroom and into the hall, walking to her room. She stopped for a moment, and then turned to face him. She crossed her arms.

"You okay?"

Riku nervously rubbed his eyes.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Sora told me you were up last night." She responded, walking towards him with concern.

"Yeah…"

"Are you okay? I can give you something to help-"

"Look, the water's running, I don't want to waste it…" he blocked her trepidation, striding back into the bathroom.

"Riku, come on…" she pleaded as he shut the door, removing the rest of his clothing.

"I'll talk to you later." He falsely promised, and stepped into the shower.

Kairi stood outside the door, staring at the wood for a few moments, mouth open. She frowned, and turned away, sighing in disappointment.