Killian

I'd woken up late today of all days. Bloody hell. Dreaming of the same blonde siren wanting to take me again and again—I needed rest! It's been exactly one month of ending things with Milah, or should I say, one month of pure torture, of begging her to take me back, of pleading with her that we could do the long-distance thing.

It had been my idea to study in the U.S. After Liam died, London just did not feel like home anymore. No matter how much Milah decorated and cooked and tried to cheer me up, Liam had left a void inside of me. He had been more than my brother. He had been parent, best friend, hero… but, let's not go there today. Breaking up with Milah was hard enough to deal with lately.

She said we couldn't be together an ocean apart. I said it would be romantic, writing letters full of yearning and passion. She didn't believe me. She said it would be the final straw, pushing us further and further apart until I wouldn't want to be with her anymore. It didn't make sense to me at all. Sure, I knew I had been distant but only because I trusted our relationship to go through any obstacles. And I never even wanted to be without her. My plan was always to bring her here with me to study. To make a new home for us. But as she constantly told me, her moving here was out of the question. Another thing that did not make any sense. It's not like she begged me to stay. She seemed resigned, decided.

So, I was not over Milah. I wanted her back, and badly. Maybe that was why my brain was trying to compensate my loneliness by fantasizing the faceless blonde. For a little bit, my mind was off Milah. It focused instead on the naked goddess whose face was always hidden behind that lovely long blond hair, curling to her waist… Enough, Jones! You're a taken man! You need to focus today, prove to yourself that all of this was worth the kilometers between you and your true love. You need to change Milah's mind!

I needed a coffee. That's why I walked over to the food truck in front of Grimm Hall. And it was then that I realized I was standing right behind the woman in my dreams.

Long blond hair cascading down her red leather jacket. Bloody hell. Was this another dream?

Just then, she turned around. I swallowed hard. I had never seen any woman more beautiful than her. She was all green eyes, dark lashes, pink lips… and she looked right past me. Oh, that's right. I'm nobody. She wasn't the kind of girl to give me the time of day. Besides, I have Milah. Or had her, but trying to get back together. Fuck.

Still, I couldn't help my eyes looking the siren up and down. It couldn't hurt, right? Imagining my fingers trailing down her hair and landing on her perfectly round arse… just then, she moved an object to her other arm and I saw it was my same course packet. "Principles of Education." She was going to be my classmate?! How was I going to survive being so near to her? My concentration would be gone in a second. Bloody HELL.

Alright, calm down, Killian. You're mature enough to handle yourself around a beautiful woman. You're a grad student for crying out loud. And you call yourself a taken man, aye? No more of this. In fact, let's be friends with her. Show you can be civil and Milah has nothing to worry about with the American girls.

So, I tapped her on the shoulder. I wasn't sure what I was going to say but as soon as her surprised green eyes met mine, all of my doubts went out of my head. I could do this.

"Sorry to bother you," I said with a smile. "I noticed you were holding a course packet in your hands and it said 'Principles of Education' and I was just wondering-" I trailed off because she looked so miserably bored. Great, she already thinks me I'm a dork.

"Hmm?" she seemed to refocus. God, she was beautiful. "Oh yes, yeah. I'm taking the class with Professor Alvarez. Are you in that class too?" she asks biting her rosy bottom lip. What's my name again?

"Yes!" I exclaim a little too loud as I remember I still haven't answered her. Shit. "Oh good," I start again. Yeah, that seems a lot more composed. "I'm glad you're in it because that would have been really embarrassing if you weren't," I laugh nervously. Yeah, embarrassing really doesn't cover it. Humiliating. Devastating. It would have been a relief because I wouldn't be in my own personal hell, testing the morals even a saint would give up for to belong to this beauty.

I notice her eyeing me. God, I really really wish she was checking me out but it's probably more like sizing up the non-American. Did I dress too casually? Should I have traded my trusty messenger bag for a briefcase?

She looks up again. "Oh don't worry. I totally get it. It's nice to find a buddy for your classes," she smiles kindly. Right, that's what I am. A buddy. Ugh, that word is repulsive. I try not to let my disgust show and choose to lean over to pick up my coffee to escape her for a second. Wrong choice, though. I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts but I was right next to her hair and smelled lavender and sunshine and… chocolate? I smiled wider than I have in a year. The food truck girl blushes at my smile, probably thinking what a weirdo I am. She has no idea that I've just met a woman who smells like what my home used to smell like. The lavender candles Liam used to put out to "remind us of Mum," the sunshine pouring in through our windows on Saturday mornings, and the hot chocolate Liam would make on those cold, foggy London mornings.

And then the scent was gone on a breeze. I pick up my coffee, reminding myself that I'm not only here to prove to Milah that I can change the mistakes of the past, but to make it up to Liam. To make sure that his sacrifices were all worth it in the end.

I point to Grimm and ask, "Shall we?" without looking over. It would be good to have her as a buddy… but nothing else. I'm on a mission.