A/N: Okay...so umm I think this is really bad. I think it's pretty wordy but I'll try to get better. Once again, I didn't edit it really so THERE WILL BE MISTAKES! Don't be a butt about it, I just started doing this kind of thing so calm you're tits/balls and don't freak out about it. and NO FLAMES PLEASE!
IMPORTANT: Give me advice in reviews if you're cool enough to write one. [NO FLAMES]
Chapter 2
Beauty and the Inner Beast
"Ohh..fuck's sake.."
I groaned as I heard Fitz's loud snoring with the faint sound of the radio telling us that it's 6:15 AM on a monday. A crisp, fresh monday that involves school.
Yay.
I sat up, rubbing my eyes that felt wrinkled and sore. Then I went down through my entire body. Wondering and hoping that I'd packed enough makeup in my bag to cover it all. It wasnt too bad; just my face needed some touching up. I picked myself up slowly, careful not to make Fitz too aware of my movments. Even though I knew that he was done from his high amount of rage, he still tends to have a temper. I stood up, also feeling a bit woozy and sick. Even if I haven't eaten since last night, I get this weird feeling that I have to puke even when there is nothing in my stomach. So i usually end up dry heaving. I slowly walk to the bathroom and grab my bag on the way , preparing myself for what I'd have to cover up so there won't be any more questions at school.
One time, earlier on in our relationship, he hit me.
And it showed.
I didn't even think of covering it up. So when I went to school the next morning, Adam asked me LOADS of questions. It was easy to see that he was concered. He was so sweet about it. Except when he just happen to let it slip when Mr. Simson was near. I remember that I was called into his office during science. I knew what was going to happen. But I panicked so much that I barely thought up an excuse. So I just said that I was being clumbsy and fell down the stairs. Mr. Simson doubted me but let it slide. I'm not sure why I lied. I mean, Fitz was ABUSING me. I'm not blind. I do see it. But for some reason, I did nothing about it. Maybe because I'm just used to it.
The sound of Fitz low growling brought be back to realality. When I looked in the mirror, I saw someone who was messed up. Someone who looked dammaged. Someone who lacked love and respect. It kind of shocked me that the person that was looking back at me..was me.
"Oh for christ's sakes Clare.." I heard Fitz stadding up, or at least trying to, staggering towards me. I knew he was hungover from his high last night but I still felt my heart beat in fear when Fitz walked up behind me, holding his head in pain. He groaned and whimpered. I almost felt bad for him. And from the look on his face when he looked up, I could tell he was sorry as well.
"Babe.."
He put his arm around my shoulders and I flinched. Him touching me after hitting me recently was just something that I couldn't get used to.
"Babe, I'm sorry..will you-"
"Forgive me. Yeah..sure" I mumbled as I carefully applied the makeup on my brused eye. He always said this line after he saw the damage that he knew he had done to me. It's a shame I know all of his pathedic excuses by heart. He gave me a fake, sorrowful look that I knew just as well as his "I'm sorry babe.." lines, and walked out of the bathroom to change for school.
...
"Fuck's sake.." I groan as I sit in Fitz's shitty car that bumbs all the time, making my body hurt more than it did when I woke up. We are almost to school but I pull out my cell and check for messages.
NO MESSAGES
Awesome.
"Who texted you?" Fitz said with a hint of anger in his voice.
"No one." I said as I showed him my phone, proving it to him that no one texted/called me because I know very well that if I didn't, I'd get a pre-school beat down fro "lying".
He pulls up in front of Degrassi and we get out, he kisses my cheek so that people can see. This is how he hides the fact that he hits me. So no one will suspect it, even if I cover it up well with my makeup skills. We walk into the school, holding hands and smiling like the most perfect couple in the world.
It's amazing what a smile can hide.
"I have to go to Spanish, I'll see at lunch okay baby?" Fitz says with the old smirk that I fell in love with.
"Sure." I smile, nod, and wave him off as I head off to my locker. I grab my stuf and head off to Math.
...
Lunch came by quickly sadly. I sat with Fitz along with his friend Drew who my friend Alli gushes over. So as she flirts away with Drew, me and Fitz sit and eat our lunches.
"Aren't you going to eat more? You must be hungry." I shake my head and stare at my apple. I'm not hungry.
Alli goes to the bathroom and Drew starts telling us (well mostly Fitz) about how he wants to ask her out. Then they chat about cars, Megan Fox and other bullshit guys talk about. I just fiddle with my apple.
"Umm Clare...?'
"Yes Drew?" I asked looking up at him.
" Why aren't you eating? What are you anorexic? Haha! I hope not, those kind of girls just want attention. Just like those damn cutter and bulimic freaks. I mean, who the hell vomits and cut themselves on purpose? Fucking retards I bet. Ha!"
I try not to hold in my boiling anger, and even if I can fell my ears getting hot, no one else seems to notice.
And no one notices when I head off out the door, out of the lunch room.
Except FItz.
"What the FUCK was that all about?" He yelled-whispered out to me in the hallway. I try to walk faster, to get away from him. I didn't feel like dealing with his bullshit today. But of course, I have to anyway. Fitz grabs my bicep tightly with his strong hand and pulls me into a vacant room.
"What the fuck Fitz!" I scream but it's folllowed with him covering my mouth with his hand, pulling me close and spitting nasty words in my face.
"Don't be a fucking idiot Clare. You KNOW I can fuck you up. And it will be bad. I fucking swear to the heavens that I will killyou. Stop fucking embarassing me with you're damn emotional bullshit. Hold you're self together or so help you God, I will beat you down so hard. You understand me?"
I nod, face wet and hot with tears. I feel so embarrassed and violated. Like the fucking whore that he calls me all the time.
"Good." He lets go roughly and storms out of the room. I just sit in a corner of the room and cry. I have no idea how I ended up like this. I used to be such a good little girl. So pretty and smart. But then I met this...beast.
He ruined me.
Yup...sucky. Reviews?
