Chapter 2 - EPOV
I saw her, turned around from me and kept her pace, but I could hear her breathing faster and her heart spiked, also I could hear a sob. Was she crying? I was about to follow after her but felt an arm held me.
If you followed her, it won't help the situation.
Alice.
I sighed and looked at her. "What kind of situation?"
"Well, it's not your fault, as far as I can tell. Even I couldn't see this thing happening."
I closed my eyes and looked to Bella's direction but she was already gone.
"I always make her sad. I'm not good for her," I said slowly.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Don't be rudiculous. It's her that feels that way."
"What?"
Alice sighed. You are so blind. Don't you think she'll stand watching you there in the castle? The way you looked at that girl's painting. It broke her heart, Edward. She realized you still loved this girl.
"I told you, it's not love," I snapped at her.
"Did she know about that? You didn't tell her about this girl. She has to find out accidentally. Nice move, Edward."
"I tried to speak to her. I even wrote her a letter, explain everything but she won't listen."
Alice gave me skeptical laugh. "That's not enough, my brother. And you know what the most hard is...both of you are getting married in few months."
I gulped. "Do you think she's.......?" I even couldn't find the courage to continue my question.
It was a miracle if she was still wants to marry me. And it was a miracle if she will forgive me for this.
"No, I didn't see that. She always change her decision. She still loved you but she's also hurt. That's a lot of cause."
I hung my head on my hands. This was awful. How could she didn't see that I loved her so much? Beyond my own existence? How could she didn't believe that she's the one and truly love that I had? When I reluctantly left her, I couldn't even forget her, even went to The Volturi when I heard she was dead. It was different from Clemence. I still remember her, her face, her passionate over things but I didn't feel anything when I remembered her. It was more like a memory of a very close friend. When she died in my arms, I felt sad but it's not enough to make me end my existence. It was different from the way I felt about Bella.
She was my everything. She has awoken my buried human instincts, even sometimes I felt like human itself. Her beauty was incomparable, even there was 100 female vampires standing next to her. All my reasons not to tell her was because there was nothing to tell. I even almost forgot about Clemence. Somehow I felt stupid not to get rid that paper when Clemence died. It was because I also forgot where I put it and tragically Bella found it for me.
Oh, stupid fiend...what did you do now?
Alice left me alone, knowing I need some time to think. I followed Bella all day through other student's eyes. She went to the office asking for her final documents and some recommendation for college. It took long enough and she has to stay there until lunch. When lunch came, she went to the cafeteria, still in silence. She looked sad but tried very hard to hide it. Oh, Bella...
She sat alone with some food in front of her when suddenly Angela came.
"Hey, I didn't expect to find you here." And alone..that's weird. She added mentally. "I thought you went to Alaska."
Bella smiled. "Sorry to dissapoint you."
Angela sat next to Bella and look around. "Where's Edward?"
My body tensed, prepared for Bella's answer.
"Oh, he had to set up things for Alaska. I'll follow him tomorrow or may be later."
"Is there something wrong with both of you? Did you had another fight?" She asked.
Well, fight was not a propriate sentence. I smiled.
Bella frowned. "No, it's not like that."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
Silence.
"Bella, whatever your problem is I think it's the best way you talk to Edward about it. Perhaps it'll smooth things. How could he know what's on your mind if you didn't talk to him?"
Ha! Good shot, Weber.
"I don't know," Bella answered slowly. Her gaze was seem distance, far away.
"Just try, okay."
Angela's word seemed to snap her back to reality. "I'll try my best."
Angela smiled and left her alone, cutting my view of her expression.
I sighed.
After finished at school, she went with her truck to Newton's. I had to remind myself to stay at my place and not to burst inside when I heard Newton was about to flirt with her mentally. That boy really need some lessons, perhaps I will let Emmet did it.
She went home in the afternoon and was about to go straight home when suddenly Angela called and asked Bella if she could company her at home. Bella accepted her invitation and I went home after I followed her to Angela's.
I ran back, feeling the wind in my hair and face, forgetting a moment about my problems with Bella. My family was there, all of them. I just got in when suddenly Emmett blocked my entrance.
"Hey, there. Do you mind if we were hunt?" He asked suddenly.
"I'm not thirsty," I answered him flippantly.
"Oh, come on. Just one deer, it won't hurt."
I sighed. "What do you want, Emmett?" I read his mind, but he blocked it for me. I groaned mentally, sometimes my family could be annoying if they did that.
"Hey, just a minute with my brother. Is that wrong?" He grinned.
I rolled my eyes. "Fine."
"Super!!" He clasped his hands and drag me out from the house.
We ran through the forest, traced a trail of deer and followed it after. I gave Emmett the chance to catch the deer. I was not thirsty at all, I just accompanied him here. Emmett appeared not long after and wiped some blood from his face.
"Don't you want to catch one?" He asked.
"I'm not thirsty," I reminded him once more.
"Ow, okay."
I sighed and sat, Emmett sat next to me.
How are things with Bella? He asked silently.
I looked at him, "Is this the reason why you drag me here?"
He smiled. You won't talk at the house, so I think it's the best way to talk here when no one is listening.
I rolled my eyes and hug my knees, placed my chin on my knees. "She's fine, but she's still doesn't want to talk to me."
Ouch.
"I know."
Do you know what her problem is?
"Because of that girl, maybe. I don't know. But I still don't figure out what the main problem is."
Silence.
Perhaps it's not about that girl of your past.
I raised my head and looked at him. "What?"
Perhaps it's something...about you.
I raised my eyebrow. "About me? I hide nothing from her"
Well, you didn't tell her about this girl.
"Stop that," I snapped at him. I already angry with Alice, I didn't want to snap at one of my family again.
Emmett grinned. "Look, just hear me now. Everyone of us had past. Esme, Alice, even Rose but it didn't bother Carlisle, Jasper or even me. We all understand it was from their past. And the good thing is we all know that from the person itself."
"So, do you think Bella is angry with me because I didn't tell her?" It seemed like a stupid question to ask in front of Emmett. He was the least of my family whose his mind was logic.
"That's one."
"And the others?"
Jeez...I can see now why it was frustrated you that you couldn't read her mind. He chuckled.
"Not funny, Em."
"Sorry," He grinned again. "Like I said, perhaps it was from you. I mean she knows your dark side in your rebellion time and it didn't bother her, but knowing you had a past with someone and she knows it by accident...."
Oh! Why didn't I think about that?
Emmett sensed my changing expression and grinned. "I hope it'll help you to find out what is her next problem."
I sighed. "Thank you."
"No problem."
That night I stole to Bella's room, testing my luck. If she locked her window, at least I could see her through the glass. But apparently it was my luck, it was unlocked. This was the first time since we had this silly fight or argument. She looked tired and curled up in her quilt. I stood next to her bed, watched her sleep. Her steady breathing and her scent overwhelming me. I knelt down beside her and touch her soft cheek. She stirred under my touch but it didn't stop me.
"I love you with all my being. I never loved anyone but you. I still want you to be my wife," I whispered in her ear.
She sighed and rolled, facing me. I whispered again, "Give me a chance, Bella. Please.."
"Edward."
I froze.
But she didn't open her eyes. One thing for sure I knew she still loved me. I smiled and lay next to her. I will woke up before she wakes tomorrow. I just need to be close to her now.
