A/N- Hey guys, it's been a while. I have a few chapters of this pre-written, so enjoy my pseudo-speediness whilst it lasts :)
-X-
Jade wasn't sure why she had put a kiss at the end of her otherwise nondescript message to Tori.
It had taken her an hour to get home after stopping on the way for gas so that she wouldn't have to in the morning, and by the time she had gotten in she felt as though she had run out of gas herself. She had thrown her clothes in a trail across the bedroom floor, dragged herself in and out of the shower as fast as humanly possible, and then collapsed unceremoniously onto the bed with her hair still damp and clinging to her shoulders.
She slid the lock across on her phone, blinking in the sudden light and flicked through the apps until she found messenger. Tori's thread was already open, the ignored string of messages on her side of the screen staring at her accusatorially.
I'm fine.
Her thumb hovered over send, unsure. For once, she was overly conscious about sounding shitty.
She deleted it, hitting backspace a few times before resorting to holding it down, watching the two words get swept aside into nothingness.
I didn't drown.
J
Jade groaned and let her wrist lax and the glassy back of her phone hit her pillow with a quiet thump. Why was this so hard? She had the impulse to say something nice to the other girl, but at the same time, something inside her reeled at the pseudo-vulnerability.
Made it home.
J x
Her eyes burned as she stared at the small x. That made it sound nicer, right? Cat put streams of kisses at the end of her texts, and no one seemed to mind. It was just a simple symbol, after all- it didn't mean anything.
She darted her thumb at send like she was trying to kill a bug that had strayed onto her screen, and then locked the phone in one swift motion, skidding it across her bedside table and turning her back to it lest it light up with a reply that could make her blush harder.
It's just Tori, she probably won't even notice. She thought firmly, scooping her duvet up in front of her and burying her face into it.
She probably won't even notice.
-X-
Her alarm went off at 6, then at 6:10, 6:15, 6:20, and was finally silenced permanently and thrown across the bedroom, only to stop mid-air and the charging cable met the end of it's give. It hit the floor somewhere amongst the jeans that Jade had abandoned the night before, and didn't make another sound.
The duvet rustled as Jade pulled it over her head and pretended as though she had no reason to move. As always, Monday had come too quickly, and this Monday in particular was even less welcome than most.
She had only one lesson with Tori today, with Sikowitz, but for some reason she was dreading the entire day. What if Tori had told someone? God, what if she had told Cat? If Cat knew, everyone would know by now, and then- she stopped herself. Tori wouldn't have told anyone, she was too conscientious of other people's feelings.
She sat up and debated between making mediocre coffee at home and being on time for the bell, or getting good coffee on the way to school and being inevitably late. She pulled the covers back and touched her feet to the hardwood floor, weighing the two against each other. On the one side, she thought, as she pulled her phone up by its cable and unplugged it, if she was on time she wouldn't have to listen to Lane drone on at her when Sikowitz inevitably mentioned it to him. Then again, on the other, if she was late, she would minimise the chances of awkward interaction with Tori. And have good coffee.
It should have been a harder choice, as she turned her shower on and wrapped her hair into a vanilla-scented bun under the water, sweet-smelling shampoo suds running down her forearms and dripping onto hr feet. By the time the water ran clear of soap, her mind was already guiltily made up- last night had been shit, and she deserved the good coffee.
And you're scared of Tori. Jade scowled at herself in the mirror as she dried herself off in the steam and then used the towel to wrap her hair.
I'm not scared of her. She corrected herself, leaning up onto her tip-toes to open bathroom window and let the steam out before it started running down the walls. A whoosh of cool morning air settled over her hot skin and the sound of distant traffic, birds and a plane overhead filled the bathroom.
I just want my coffee before I have to face her.
Back in her bedroom, she pulled the curtains open, not really caring that half the neighbourhood could probably see her bare breasts, and then rummaged through her wardrobe for something to wear.
She picked ripped black jeans, a white top with no sleeves that had armholes so low she had to wear a tight-fitted strapless, boneless red bra over the black one she had worn originally so that she wouldn't get detention for rocking up to school half naked, and then yanked her leather jacket from where it hung on the bedroom-facing side of the bathroom door. She dried her hair with a dryer in one hand and her phone in the other as she scrolled through the Slap, and then ran her straighteners through it just enough to make it shiny but not enough to make it thin.
Leaving the irons to cool on the stone tiles of the bathroom window ledge, Jade folded her jacket over her arm and took the stairs two at a time.
There was no one else home downstairs. She grabbed her school bag from the floor and her headphones from the fruit bowl where she had flung them yesterday and fished a croissant out of the bag of them that sat by the toaster, pulling her jacket on, her breakfast between her teeth.
Elbowing her way out of the front door into the bright, airy morning, the postman was two doors down, wrestling a wad of envelopes into the mail box. She stood on her doorstep and watched him with a smirk for a moment, reaching up to grab her croissant from her mouth and tearing a bite out of it at the same time. She chewed and found her car keys in her pocket, thumbing at the buttons until the side lights flashed and it unlocked with two small peeps. Her bag was flung onto the passenger seat, keys jammed into the ignition, and with mixed feelings, Jade pulled out of the drive to the realisation that traffic permitting, she would probably be at school on time whether she stopped for coffee or not.
There was no queue in Starbucks, and Jade had never been less grateful.
The man behind the counter looked as though he had been alive for all of a day, gangly and vacant. He knew her though, and waved at her as he noticed her coming in. He started making her coffee without needing to ask what she wanted, and jade pulled her card out of her back pocket, watching him enviously as he plucked her cup from the slightly-leaning mountain of them behind the counter. She wished she could jump right over it, grab and apron and hide here all day, safe amongst the smell of chocolate powder and coffee beans, the murmur of the other customers and the clinking of cups, sources and cutlery. She would even put up with the loud churning of the bean grinder, and the whistling of the steamer if it meant she didn't have to exist as Jade for the day.
"Jade?"
The goth sighed. It was nice whilst it lasted. "Ya." She reached out and took the cup from the counter, pressing her card flat against the reader. It beeped shrilly and the lucky employee slid it back towards him, nodding to her.
"Thank you, see you tomorrow!" He smiled briefly and Jade returned it distractedly.
"Sure thing." She mumbled, shouldering the door open and stepping back into the fresh air. It was starting to warm up outside already, and Jade prayed the Californian sun would go easy on them today- she wasn't sure she could stand the baking heat on top of everything else.
"Hey, Jade!"
Green eyes looked up from the rim of her coffee cup.
"Oh. Hey Bobby."
Bobby was about 10, short, skinny, and as pale as her with vibrant orange curls. His eyes were a pale brown and looked a lot bigger than they really were behind thick glasses. His dad was the manager of the Starbucks, and every weekday morning he would sit for half an hour or so on the white plastic seats outside waiting for his dad to come back out and drive him the rest of the way to school.
"I know it's only been a week, but if I give you twenty dollars-"
"Will I go to the craft store are get you more paint?" Jade unlocked her car again and balanced her drink on the roof.
Bobby looked hopeful, his 20 dollars already in his hand.
Jade sighed. "Sure. What in hell are you painting thats getting through it so fast?"
Bobby grinned. "It's a fully to scale pirate ship, beached on an island. It has pirates ands treasure chests and everything. It's gonna be so cool."
Jade smiled. "Well, can't deny a boy his pirates." She said cooly. "Come on then, pay up." She held her hand out and Bobby pushed the note into it immediately, followed by a small scrap of paper with a list of colours.
"You sure you can't just buy paints that don't have an age restriction on them?" She joked, folding the list and zipping it into her jacket.
"No." Bobby looked agitated. "They don't set as well, and they dry a different colour!"
"Okay, okay. Noted. I'll come by with them after school, alright?"
Bobby smiled with a strange combination of adult and baby teeth. "Thanks Jade!"
"No problem, kiddo. You know I'm not this nice to everyone, right?" She grinned and he laughed.
"Bobby? Come on, school time!"
"That's your dad. See ya later."
Bobby waved as she pulled out of the parking lot, and then turned tail and jogged back to where his dad was waiting for him.
He was a nice kid and talented at building his models but he didn't have that many friends and Jade had never had a little sibling to abet in crime. Besides, what real harm could paint do? He showed her the models afterwards, it wasn't like she didn't check to see where it was going.
-X-
The drive to school was relatively painless and when she killed the engine in the lot, she had eight minutes left until the bell went. She sipped at her coffee and contemplated the idea of waiting in her car until she had only a few seconds to spare.
Stop being such a coward. She scolded herself, opening the door and slinging her bag over her shoulder.
The hall way was buzzing and it took Tori less than a minute to find her. Jade cringed inwardly and pulled her drink up to her face.
"Jade." Tori looked sheepish.
"Tori." The goth retuned, trying not to sound as embarrassed as she hoped she didn't look.
"What's up, guys?" Andre popped up from behind Tori's shoulder. "Ready for the week?"
Both girls immediately looked in opposite directions.
"Sure." They both said, sounding equally awkward.
Andre didn't seem to notice. "Well, I'm going to go get the good seat by the phone charger before Robbie does." He waved, and then jogged over to their classroom, leaving the two girls alone again.
"Jade, I-"
"Hey you guys!"
Cat's voice interrupted them again and possibly for the first time ever, Tori looked like she might hit someone.
"Hey, cat." She sighed. "How are you doing? You hair looks nice."
Cat beamed. She had had much darker strands of red highlighted through her magenta after school on Friday, and Jade had to admit, it did look pretty nice.
"Thanks! Are you guys…?" She trailed off, suddenly realising how unusual it was to see both Tori and Jade standing together without an obvious fight going down.
"Are we what?" Jade snapped, her nerves fraying more by the second.
"Okay?" Cat sounded nervous.
"Oh." Jade coughed a little. "Yeah. Fine. Shouldn't you be getting to class?"
Cat frowned and looked from the classroom door, to Tori, and then back to Jade.
"Aren't we all in the same one?"
"Yes, Cat, but Jade and I-" Tori sighed, defeated. "Never mind, let's get going before someone comes out and looks for us."
Cat seemed to be aware that she had interrupted something, but she didn't give any sign other that a few small glances up at them as they jostled into Sikowitz' room.
"Welcome, learners." He called, opening his arms.
They each found their seats, Jade giving Tori an accidentally obvious stare when she found herself forced into the seat right next to her. Tori smiled at her and then uncharacteristically turned her attention to her phone.
"Now, today we will be focusing on the pros and cons of-"
Jade's phone buzzed against her leg. She slid it out of her pocket and it lit up when it recognised it was being uncovered.
I was going to say; are you feeling better?. :)
-read 08:34
Jade looked up through her hair at Tori, who smiled cautiously. Jade tore her eyes back to her phone and wrote.
Jury's still out.
-sent 08:35
"Am I interrupting something, girls?" Sikowitz tented his fingers and waited, looking between them expectantly.
"Yes."
"No!"
Both replies came at the same time. Jade rolled her eyes and Tori blushed.
"Perhaps you'd like to answer the question then, Jade?"
"Which one?"
"Ha!" Sikowitz pointed at her. "So you weren't listening!"
"No, you just asked two questions." Jade smiled sweetly as he scowled.
"Which were?" He raised an eyebrow, figuring he had her now.
Jade let her head fall back and groaned. "'Which year was Arcadia published', and 'where did it debut?'"
Sikowitz looked like he might sulk that Jade had gotten the better of him, and Tori was quietly impressed that Jade had been able to keep track of what he was saying and type at the same time.
"Which would be 1993 and London."
You'll have to get up earlier than that." Rex commented slyly from the sidelines, as Robbie struggled to shut him up.
"Fine. But no more…" He trailed off, wiggling his fingers towards their phones.
Tori replaced hers in her jacket pocket immediately and Jade tucked hers under her leg in plain sight, just to annoy him.
Beck muttered something to Andre and the goth shot them both a dark look, before pretending to resume listening to Sikowitz's rambling about the balance of chaos and order within metaphorical literature.
The rest of the lesson crept by and Jade found it harder than she thought she would not to keep looking at Tori. Every so often, out of the corner of her eye, she would notice the Latina's hair sway, but she could never quite tell if she was looking at her, or if the girls was just looking idly around the room.
By the time the bell rang, and Sikowitz vaulted his desk to leave, Jade was about ready to cry with gratefulness that it was over. If the whole week was going to be as tense as this, she wasn't going to last long at all.
She took a deep breath. She cursed inwardly as she and Tori turned to leave at the same time through a gap between the seats that wasn't big enough for both of them and they got stuck once more, Jade staring like a rabbit in the headlights and Tori with her mouth half open and her eyes trying too hard to seem casual. Tori stepped aside to let her through, and the goth could feel her eyes burning into her back all the way out of the room.
-X-
Jade had escaped her Math class with the excuse of needing the bathroom. The droning voice of her teacher, coupled with the hideously boring subject matter had easily turned into white noise by the uninterested, creative nature of her mind, and it had left her wide open for stewing about her situation with Tori. The not-knowing was killing her, and she was constantly torn between running in the opposite direction, and trying to subtly force interaction.
She pushed the door to the girls bathroom open and thanked god aloud that it was empty. She hopped up to sit by the sinks and leaned back against the wall, enjoying the silence.
Perhaps if she told Tori that she couldn't deal with the waiting, they might be able to get this whole thing out of the way right now? She could text her, tell her where she was, she could be walking right through that door in mere-
The door to the bathroom opened.
-seconds.
"Oh…" Tori hesitated in the doorway, looking as though she might turn and excuse herself, and leave. "Sorry, I… Thought you had math."
"I do." Jade said simply.
"Oh." Tori said again. "So why are you sitting in here?"
"Because I have math." Jade half joked.
Tori let out a small snuff of laughter through her nose. The door closed behind her, and to Jade's surprise, she hopped up to sit a sink away on the same row.
"Are you… Tori, are you skipping History?"
"What? No!" Tori sounded scandalised. "I just, y'know. Needed a break. Got a lot… going on." She finished as though she wished she hadn't mentioned her last addition.
"Oh." It was Jade's turn not to know what to say. "Is it about-"
"No." Tori said quickly. She looked ruefully at the ceiling. "Yes." She confessed.
"You don't have to-"
"I want to. I mean," Tori was blushing furiously. "Help you, I want to help you."
Jade stared at the tiles on the floor. There were some small splashes of water trailing from the sinks to the hand dryers, where hands had been held out.
They were quiet for a while, until Tori sighed, looking at her small silver watch.
"I better get back to the Aztecs, before someone notices I'm still gone." She jumped down from her perch and smiled at Jade.
For some reason, Jade jumped down from where she was sitting too, and came closer than she had intended to Tori. She had chosen fight over flight her whole life, and watching Tori walk away from her again was infuriating her inner fighter.
She didn't realise how close she was to Tori, until she heard the words;
"Jade, we're in a bathroom."
"You're in a bathroom, I'm in hell."
"It's not that bad, they just refurbished it."
"Victoria Vega." Jade narrowed her eyes. "You know exactly what I mean."
Tori looked at her with an annoying amount of sympathy. "I'm sorry, I know. But seriously, we are in a bathroom. You're really not the type."
Jade knew she was right, she wasn't. She spent a whole year using the term bathroom-skank for people who did exactly what she was thinking about doing now, she couldn't become one right after the phrase had started to be heard all through the school.
"I'm sorry." She shouldered past Tori before she could say anything and found her was back to the white noise of maths class, wishing she had hopped that counter in Starbucks.
-X-
By the time the bell rang for the final time that day, Jade was a mess. She had been on edge for hours, between Tori's lingering looks across the table over lunch and their accidental meeting in the bathroom the hour before, the prospect of being able to breathe was driving her out of the school doors like it was caning her shins.
When she saw her car, she stopped abruptly. Tori was leaning against the driver's side door, one arm wrapped around her middle, and the other propped up by the elbow. She was staring listlessly into the middle distance, biting her thumb.
Jade fought the urge to turn around and go back into the building.
"Hey, Jade."
Crap.
"Tori." She greeted, measuredly. "Are you… Okay?"
The other girl winced. "Trina ditched me here because of the gremlin thing, and everyone else is staying late to work on set."
There was a hint of pleading in her voice.
"You need a lift?" Jade guessed hesitantly. She supposed little could happen whilst one of them was driving.
"Please?"
Jade just nodded and Tori looked relieved as she gave Jade access to her door. Jade's bag got slung in the back rather than the passenger seat, and Tori climbed in its place, hugging her own bag on her lap.
"Oh, shit." Jade muttered, falling back into her headrest. "We have to stop off somewhere on the way."
