Surprise, Surprise

Hidan: Why the fuck did you call us all in here?!

Pein: Important matters.

Kisame: It must be quite important leader-sama.

Pein: Indeed

-Sasori and Deidara walk in-

Hidan: What the fuck took you heathens so long! We've been here forever.

Sasori: The brat felt the need to blow our cover, and make us kill 30 or so Sound nins.

Pein: Sit down everbody, I have news.

-Everyone sits-

Pein: *sigh* The demon child, kyuubi's container, has been avoiding us for too long now, me must strike.

Itachi: Hn. –turns head-

Kisame: That sounds, interesting –grin-

Hidan: Does this mean?

Pein: Yes, we shall all together, strike Konohagakure, take them all out, aside from the Jinchuuriki.

Kakuzu: What a waste of funds.

Pein: We have wasted enough funds trying to capture him secretly, we are doing it totally by force now.

Zetsu: ….

Pein: You stay look out, and tell us if any village comes to back them up, because of your…well, you know.

Zetsu: -Nods-

Pein: ….None of you think this is impossible?

Sasori: We are the akatsuki, we have more than enough power.

Pein: You guys aren't even surprised? It's a whole village with a kage and stuff.

Hidan: Pinochio over there is right, We're fucking invincible

Kakuzu: YOUR fucking invincible, the rest of us are just damn strong.

Kisame: Itachi is fucking invincible too

Sasori: As am I

Pein: You guys are nothing compared to god.

Konan: Are you all really that cocky?

Pein: ….

Konan: Aside from Pein

Sasori: Im a fucking puppet, what can they do?

Deidara: Burn you, yeah?

Hidan: -CRACKS UP- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING PANSY LOSER!

Sasori: I have three scrolls which give me near infinite power, I can control one hundred puppets at once, I killed the Kazekage and turned him into the most lethal puppet ever besides me with his crazy Iron sand technique. How the hell could anybody stop me?

Kakuzu: I have mastered all Elements and have some of the strongest techniques of each element, including fire-

Deidara: -chuckle-

Kakuzu: -Glare-….anyways, I am FIVE people, and you have to kill me FIVE times, and by the third heart I would get serious, me and my partner though stupid, are unstoppable together, unlike you and that brat. No matter what element you are, I am your weakness, no matter who you are, you are merely a thorn on my side, I have fought nearly on par with the first hokage, what could any youngster do against me?

Hidan: Fuck all you stupid ass heathens. I have jashin- sama's powers and blessings, I am fucking immortal and with the combination of my scythe and Shiji Hyōketsu Justsu unless you expressly know me I am fucking unstoppable

Kisame: Really, not to throw my name in here, but im pretty good too. More chakra than all of you put together, plus some. Summoning of oceans, and sharks that literally can't be stopped since they are just chakra, and with Samehada, most of you could barely stand a chance.

Deidara: C4 karura, 'nuff said.

Itachi: How can any compare to the power of Mangekyu? Ameratsu, Tsukiyumi, Susanoo, I summon a fucking god

Pein: I am a fucking god. None of you could even THINK of comparing to me.

Konan: ., im sick and tired of all you men! None of you ever stop being competitive, oh and Pein, you are a fucking god, that's sleeping on the fucking couch. –Leaves-

Pein: Awww, konan –follows-

Akatsuki: -BREAK INTO LAUGHTER-

Kisame: -between fits of laughter- Hey at least I wore the pants in all my relationships!

Hidan: Hahaha, what a fucking pansy!

Itachi: -chuckle-

Tobi: -dark voice- So which of you thought you were the strongest in akatsuki!

All: O_O

Deidara: Danna, im scared, yeah!

Sasori: Me too

-All runs except itachi-

Itachi: You, are still dependent on me thus making you weak.

Tobi: -glare- Don't play with me, uchiha boy

Itachi: Hn…