I don't condole any type of self-harming. I was just inspired, more like haunted with the idea because we just found out this case with one of our friends.
Rated M for dark theme, violence and sex.
December 2nd, 2009.
Elena got out of the bed after half an hour trying to confirm with herself that last night was not some ridiculous nightmare or delusion her mind made up. She looked around and realized she was in some kind of hotel room. And she was alone. She found the bathroom and started cleaning herself up. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She had lost much weight, her skin lost its natural glow, her lips were pale and her eyes looked dead. Other people wouldn't be happy seeing themselves physically broken down, but Elena found a sick pleasure when she saw herself getting worse and worse. It somehow comforted her and made her felt right, felt better, felt like she being properly punished for not dying along with her family that night in the fire. After brushing her teeth and a good shower, she went looking for the clothes she wore the night before. She found them in the trashcan in the corner of the room. She dig into the pockets to find her small purse, the only item she really owned and fished out a small photo that got burnt a little on the edges. It was her family photo a year before the fire. She took out a small box and went back to the bathroom, locked the door behind her before sitting down on the cold floor.
"Hi mom. Hi dad. Hi Jeremy." She looked at the old photo, lovingly brushed her finger on the faces of her family. She placed it down on the floor next to her.
"I'm being kidnapped or kept hostage by a vampire." She took the box and opened it, pulling out a blaze. She unhooked the leather bandage around her wrists that she had started wearing since she started cutting herself to hide the scars.
"Yeah Jeremy, for real. A vampire. He looked nothing like Dracula though, nor Count Orlok. He's ridiculously handsome instead. Weird hah! No Jer, no Twilight jokes." She continued, started a cut across her inner wrist. There used to be scars there but now her skin was smooth and flawless. She watched as the blood oozed out and started on another line.
"Last time we talked I was in the brothel. I should start writing a book or something. Life has been busy with me." She laughed. There were already several cuts on her skin. She moved to the other side, flinching a little when her left hand couldn't control the blaze exactly and some cuts were deeper than others.
"Don't worry mom. I'm not scared." She smiled but tears started to flow. "If he kills me, which I think he will sooner or later, I will be finally with you again. I have nothing here to live for any more…"
The doorbell rang. She got startled and the blaze sunk deeper into her skin, she picked it out and cleaned up her scene, keeping the picture and the box in her hand, putting the leather binds on her wrists and headed to answer the door. She hesitantly looked into the viewer and saw a lady in server uniform standing outside. She opened the door but kept the chain in.
"Ms. Gilbert?" The lady asked, looking at the part of her face through the open gap of the door.
"Yes."
"I have a delivery and a message for you, from Mr. Salvatore."
She unlocked the safety chain and took the big bag from the woman along with a piece of folded paper. The woman looked at her in her messy form still dressed in Damon's shirt but didn't comment anything, said a polite goodbye to her and left.
She closed the door and tossed the bag on a couch, opened the paper he sent for her.
"We'll be out for lunch. D." The note read.
She went to open the big bag to see it was full with new clothes and shoes, even with some lingerie.
"How thoughtful." She said as she touched the soft material of the silky material of the underwear.
She threw herself on the bed, closing her eyes, just as ever, she felt empty and pointless.
"Why are you not dressed?"
Elena opened her eyes to meet the ice-cold blue eyes staring back at her. She sat up, not looking at him and started to pick out an outfit from the pile on the bed.
"Sorry. I fell asleep." She murmured, clutching some clothes and headed for the bathroom.
"Did you hurt yourself?" Damon frowned, he could smell the blood lingering in the air, from her.
"What? No." She tightened her jaw, walked faster to get to the bathroom.
"You're bleeding." He appeared right in front of her and Elena bumped into him and tumbled backward.
He grabbed her wrist to balance her and Elena hissed in pain. Damon didn't miss a beat of it and his eyes fixed immediately on her wrists in his hands. He ripped the pieces of leather off and for the first time the calm ocean in his eyes stirred with waves, unfortunately from anger.
"Liar liar pants on fire." His lips twitched into a cold smirk as he spotted the cuts on her skin. In another heartbeat, Elena felt herself being shoved down on one of the couch and she saw Damon sat himself down on another, in front of her.
"Let's talk." He said, his voice still perfectly melodic contrasted with his ever unreadable look in the eyes.
"When did this start?" He looked at her, waiting.
"Last month." She said dryly.
"Why would you want to cut yourself?"
"My house burnt down, along with my parents and brother." She said and as always tears flushed into her eyes. "But not me. I was there too but I didn't die."
"Do you want to?"
"I do."
His eyes narrowed, he studied her for a moment until he leaned back in his chair. Elena wiped away her tears, took in a deep breath, waiting.
"You look too calm for someone who is being held captive by a vampire. Or did I make a wrong impression?" He chuckled.
"You could kill me if you want to."
"Ah. You're expecting me to do the dirty work that you're too coward to do."
She snapped her head up and glared at him. Damon was taken back a little by the fire in her eyes but he managed to keep his face flat of emotion, a thing he had come to master perfectly.
"You know what would be better than death? I could turn you into a vampire. Once you're turned, everything will be heightened. Senses. Strength. Stamina. Tolerance. Emotion. Characters. Traits … Guilt." He paused. "An eternity of guilt, Elena. And you won't be able to kill yourself as a vampire. As I said, everything is heightened. So does the will of living, the survival instinct."
Elena just sat there, speechless.
"If you plan on secretly doing these things to dwell in your guilt until someone else does the deed and end your life for you. I could turn you right now. Giving you more than enough time to do it, to feel as much guilt as you want about the things you could never change for the rest of your existence." He leaned forward, looking up at her, which made his blue eyes darkened into a dangerous look.
Elena gulped, breathed in heavily.
"The alternative of it, is…" Damon reached over to get a crystal glass and pulled out a pocket knife. He slit through his palm and squeezed the blood into the glass. "this." He pushed it towards her.
"You drink this, heal the damned things on you and you made a promise to me to never do it again, or never would you lie to me about anything else. And make sure you keep your words." He cleaned up his hand with a tissue paper.
"So which one is it?" He sat back in his seat. "I'm not into fixing you. Just that it will be inconvenient for me to be around you when you're bleeding all the time and not tearing your throat out to drain you myself." He said, his voice as light as air.
"So what are you into doing with me?" She snapped.
"You haven't answered me which way you want this to go." He arched his brow. "You don't get to question me with another question."
Elena looked down to the thick liquid filled in the bottom of the glass and swallowed. She found herself already considering the nasty taste of it when she had to brought it through her mouth into her system and she cried because he was right. She was a coward. She wanted to but she couldn't bring herself to doing it, ending her life. How many times had the blaze went deeper and she stopped. How many times had she challenged others to kill her. She slowly reached for the glass, bring it to her mouth, holding her breath and gulped quickly at it. She put it down and covered her mouth, trying not to vomit and swallowed it.
He watched her gagging and struggling with her own body until she reached over and grabbed the water bottle and down it into her throat, washing the taste away, catching her breath and her heartbeat went to steady. The cuts healed, leaving her skin smooth, flawless.
"Good girl." He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Now go change."
He stood up and walked over to his desk on the other side of the room.
She was about to walk to the bathroom herself but stopped and turned around to look at his back.
"What would you do, had I done the other way?" She asked
"I'd rip your heart out. Simply kill you." He replied with his ever nonchalant tone, not even looking back at her.
"Eat your food." Damon said, looking down at Elena who hadn't touched a thing in her plate across the table.
"Do you feed all of the people you kidnap?" She smirked. The fact which he had been repeating a few times since they met, stating clearly that he needed her around for his own reasons and purposes, not because in any way he cared about her had pissed her off and thrown her into this sarcastic and cranky mood.
"Funny you ask. Usually I'm the one to feed on them. They never lived long enough for me to consider the thought." He smirked back, his handsome face looked even more beautiful when his lips stretched into that smile but his eyes stayed solid in its emptiness. Even his good look pissed her off now because she hated it when she couldn't hate his face, his being as much as she wanted to.
"I'm not hungry."
"I'm not asking if you are. I'm asking you to eat your food." He said slowly but that edge of authority crept back in his voice.
"I can't eat if I'm not hungry." She said stubbornly.
"You seem to like things the hard way, don't you?" He squinted his eyes, lacing his finger together and rested his chin on them, looking down at her.
"What are you gonna do, in this restaurant full of people?" She smirked. She knew it was stupid but she just happened to want to push his buttons.
"And what are you gonna do when we're not in a restaurant full of people?" He smiled back at her.
"I'm not scared of you." She said, despite the pounding heart in her chest.
"That's not what it sounds like." He pointed his finger at her chest, grinning.
"Why do you insist on me eating the damn thing?" She frowned, irritated and also embarrassed that she couldn't even hide her own body's reaction from him.
"I don't like being seen walking around with someone who looks like she's on the verse of starving to death."
Elena stayed still and Damon exhaled unnecessarily. He tightened his jaw, reached over and pushed the plate closer to her.
"Have I told you I don't like repeating myself?" His eyes got darker and for a second Elena thought she saw them turned red.
She swallowed and picked up her fork, decided not to piss him off more tan he was.
"Who's Katherine?" She asked, chewing her first bite.
"You just can't keep your mouth shut, can you?" He glared at her, trying to keep his emotion in check. This girl was starting to get on his nerves. She doesn't get scared of him as much as he wanted her to.
"Wrong question." She murmured, taking another bite, which made him feel a little relaxed seeing her obey him. "So can you tell me why you keep me?"
Damon groaned low in his throat. He thought for a second she would shut up. She looked at him innocently with her big chocolate brown eyes, a look he would never see on Katherine.
"Why haven't you tried to run away from me?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Because I have nowhere or no one to run to." She said trying to keep her face seem cool and collected but her shaky voice gave it away.
Damon smirked, this time because he was amused, not because he wanted to look sarcastic or intimidating, seeing her trying one of his tactics of masking her emotion amused him.
"I answered your question. It's only fair you do likewise." She pointed her fork at him. "Why do you save me if you're only into killing us human? Why keep me around? "
"Two things." He cocked his head aside, keeping his eyes on hers. "You're the dead ringer for someone I know. I want to know why and how."
Elena bit her lips, thinking about what he said for a moment.
"Is it Katherine? That was what you called me in the alley. I look like her?" She asked.
"You only need to know what I let you." He said and leaned back in his seat.
"Fine." She murmured, noted to herself that this Katherine was a touchy topic. "What's the other?" She continued, not letting him get away with answering the question.
"I was bored. One of the down sides of being alive for forever. Running out of things to do."
"Right." She let out a small laugh, suddenly lost her appetite. There he went again, stated clearly that everything he had down with her had nothing with her being herself, Elena Gilbert. Just because she looked like someone else and because he was bored.
"Is something funny popping up in the pasta?" He raised his brow.
"Nothing." She said, still not looking up and focus on eating her meal.
Damon waited but she kept silent for the rest of the time they were in the restaurant.
When they came out and started walking up the slope, heading back to the hotel, which was only a few blocks away, she started stealing glances at him, darting her eyes between his profile and her steps.
"What is it now?" He smirked, knowing so well whatever the questions were they were already on the tip of her tongue.
"You have reflection. And you walk in the sun!" She said immediately, pointing at their reflection in the glass windows of the shops they walked by.
"I do."
"And you ate things with garlic in back in the restaurant."
"I did." He smirked, looking aside at her focusing face. She looked eager and focused, like when a kid tried to put the puzzle pieces together. Again, a look he had never seen from Katherine's persona.
"What about holy water? Stake through the heart? Crucifix? Vampire wives?" She blushed right after the last words left her mouth.
"I can shower with the so called holy water only if it's sanitary to. Yes, a stake through the heart kills a vampire, as well as the sun or decapitating. Sticking a crucifix in my face only makes you look stupid. And no I'm not married." He smirked again.
"But we are walking in the sun!" She asked after a moment of thinking.
"This is a gift from a witch." He showed her the ring he wore on his left middle finger. "Protecting me. Vampires burn to dust in sunlight." He said, his face turned cold as well as his inside at the reminder of his being a damned and cursed force in nature.
"Oh." Elena said and lowered her head again to watch her steps.
"Anything else?" He raised his brow looking over at her.
"Um. Where did you go this morning?"
"Feeding."
"Does that mean …"
"Does it mean I just killed someone this morning?" He looked over and met her gaze, he didn't look away.
"Did you?" She swallowed dryly.
"No I didn't. I can feed without killing the person. I'll compel them to forget the attack for their own good and my own free from drama."
"Compel them?" She asked in confusion.
"We can compel human to do as we wish. Compulsion is just one of many things we are given with to be the predators."
"You can?" She gasped.
"Oddly, my compulsion doesn't work on you." He turned to look at her in a confused look.
"You tried? When?" She yelled.
"You're the first. I'll have to look into that." He said to himself more than anything and leading their way into the hotel lobby.
"What are the other down sides of being a vampire?" She asked when they got back into the room.
"Have anyone said you asked too many questions?" He went to his desk again, not looking at her.
"I'm curious. Not every day I ran into a vampire."
"Did you just make a joke?" He turned around, looking at her.
"What?" She turned away, unable to hold his gaze. "I just, I don't know, maybe because of the pasta. I'm feeling good and … energetic." She bit her lips.
"Maybe. Or maybe because you consumed my blood."
"What? Why?"
"Vampire blood creates some sort of hype, … energy in the human body. That's why some are addicted." He explained, getting back to his work on the desk.
"There are people addicted to vampire blood?" Her mouth gaped in shock. "How do you know?"
"I ran into a few. A few others came to me."
"They just asked for your blood?"
"I have to let them have a taste of it first so they know what they're hooked into." He smirked.
"You just give them?" She asked curiously.
"Blood exchanging between vampire and human during sex is normal. It's just the way we do it."
"Oh." She blushed as she visualized his words. "So you don't just eat them. You sleep with them also." She didn't realize she had verbalize her thoughts until she heard something like a hiccup and a cut short laugh from him.
"So they're all women." She asked
"Men, women. Human in general, who happened to like the way our blood hype up their body, emotion, feelings. A type of drugs I would say."
"Yeah. But I mean, the ones from your experience, they're all women?" She asked again.
"Yes." He nodded, until something flashed his mind and he turned back completely at her. "You think I might be intimate with men at some point?" He felt a ridiculous mixture of feelings inside of him, not sure if he wanted to laugh or get angry.
"Huh? No!" Elena blushed harder, she could feel her cheeks were burning. She didn't even think about that, she was just thinking about how many women he had been sharing blood and the thoughts of blood exchanging during sex of him and those women in a Dracula Braham Stoker's style in her head. "No! I didn't say that!"
Damon found himself fond of the rosy color on her cheeks and the way he could feel her blood heated up when she flustered and blushed like that. The way her body reacted and the heat its radiated was similar to the warmth of a bonfire in the middle of a chilly night, it made him wanted to get closer to bath in that warmth. He blinked his eyes a few times before relaxing his face into a non emotion look again.
"Pack your things into the smaller suitcase under the bed. We're leaving." He ordered.
Elena realized the shift in his voice. He went back to giving order without directly addressing her. She frowned. This man was having a serious case of mood swing.
"Where are we going?" She asked
"To someone who have answers for my questions." He replied, getting used to answering her endless questions.
"When will we leave?"
"Nightfall." He went to get his own packing started. "Now stop asking." He added when he saw from the corner of his eyes she was about to speak again.
Elena looked in shock as she watched Damon talked to the hotel manager in his perfectly polite and charming manners. There was no traits left of the cranky and mood-swing, control freak she had seen, and absolutely no way to see the vampire who kills when he talks in a calming tone to the lady.
"Of course we will keep the room up and ready any time for your come back, Mr. Salvatore." The lady pulled her red-lipsticked lips into a shy smile, she kept blinking at him.
"That would be very nice, Ms. Bells. I've enjoyed my stay here." Damon smiled back at her and the woman was obviously melting under his gaze. "However, if anyone came asking for me, you've never seen me, make sure your staff get the same message." He said, his voice flat and even when he leaned closer looking deep into her eyes.
The lady's face went blank for a moment before she blinked again and the girlish smile returned to her face. "I will say I've never seen you and my staff will too. Any thing for you, Mr. Salvatore."
Elena whispered when she walked with him out the entrance. "So that's how you compel people? With your eye thing?"
"What eye thing?" He smirked, found it slightly laughable at her choice of words and the childish and almost innocent way she always formed her questions. She was acting like a child exploring its surrounding world, everything was new and everything triggered her curiosity.
"We're going by car?" She asked when she took in the sight of a shiny navy blue Chevrolet Camaro parking in a lot in a dark end of the hotel's back alley.
"Or would you prefer walking from state to state?" He snorted.
"Ok. I'm just…" Before Elena could finish her sentence, she yelped as something sharp pierced through the flesh on her upper arm. She looked down to see a slight scratch across the outer part of her upper left arm. She heard someone else groaned in pain and she turned to see Damon was pinning a man onto the brick wall a few feet away from her, into the dark alley, choking him with only one of his hand.
"How stupid are you?" She heard Damon as she ran closer to them. She saw him used his other hands and crushed the man's hand, which was holding a stake, pointing to Damon's direction.
"You killed her." The man managed to spoke when his throat was still clasped in Damon's hand. "You killed my wife."
"Damon!" She yelled as the man started to choke and couldn't breath, his face turned purple.
"Get in the car!" He groaned at her.
"Stop! You're killing him!" She insisted, shaking as she saw the guy's eyes started to roll back.
"I said get in the car!" He finally turned to look at her and she realized his face had turned.
The man took the advantage and plunged the stake into Damon's stomach which was right at the level of his hand. Damon growled angrily and with one quick move, he twisted the man's head and he fell limply on the ground. Dead. Damon crouched down, coughing as he tried to get the stake out.
Elena hesitantly ran to kneeled down in front of him. She didn't bare to look at the dead man's body.
"What's wrong? Why aren't you healing?" She was panic when Damon coughed up some blood.
"Vervain." He uttered, tossed the bloody stake aside and crawled closer to the man and bit down on his throat.
Elena screamed and ran to the car. She held her head in her hands, trying to forget the sucking sound she heard when Damon buried his face in that man's neck. Everything went down on her. She forgot everything else about him but the monster she just witnessed. The one that killed without a blink and feeding on human's blood. She was shaking, feeling the fear that finally came to her properly. She let out a startled cry when she heard footsteps outside the car and the door on the driver's seat opened and she pushed hers off. She pushed herself to run as fast as she could, didn't bother to look where she was heading, she panted, forcing her legs to move, running away from the dark terrifying alley.
I've been getting pretty good feedback on the start of this story. I'm so inspired to write more. Review and help my inspiration flow with your direct feedbacks!
Here I'll spill you spoilers for upcoming chapters :
1. Not all of Elena's family died in that fire like she thought they did.
2. Katherine and Stefan coming into the picture.
