BEAUTY
He doesn't know what beauty is until the first morning he wakes up with her and realizes he's completely in love. Her hair is wild, her lips are swollen and she's not wearing a scrap of makeup, but she makes his heart stop. This is her as she really is. Private, intimate, with all her walls down. Words of love and hope tumble from his lips before his heart can seek permission from his head, and then he holds his breath as he awaits her response. Right before hypoxia takes him out she tells him she loves him too, and then he almost passes out anyway.
…
That first night, he sleeps well. Only for a few hours, but soundly enough to awake feeling refreshed, optimistic and ready for the day. Ready for the week. Ready for the rest of his life.
He knows where he is before he opens his eyes. He can smell her skin. Feel her warmth. Taste her in his mouth. He can remember everything that got them to their final breaking point, and the moments that took them beyond return. He can remember how her accent got thicker as her body got hotter and tighter. He can remember that her eyes got darker and then so much clearer and happier. He remembers feeling like finally, after more than 40 years of trying, he finally ended up exactly where he was supposed to be.
He doesn't want to be the creepy guy, but he can't help just staring at her as he waits for her to wake. He has seen her first thing in the morning before, sleep-flushed and relaxed and unaware. He has always thought her to be beautiful. But there's something different about today. She steals his breath.
When she draws a deeper breath he quickly averts his gaze to the safety of her arm, and then counts to five before he nonchalantly lifts his eyes again to meet hers. Ziva blinks back at him sleepily, and he takes a chance by giving her a small, welcome-to-the-day smile. He is not prepared when she breaks into a smile that holds no restraint, and then rolls herself closer to kiss him before he even says good morning. The small part of his brain that is functioning on a sensible level thinks that at least some words around the nature of this development should be had, but it shuts down as soon as she stretches and then moves her body to lie on top of him. He drowns himself in her kisses while clutching at her body like it is a lifeline, and then…then…God, yes, and then…she feeds the addiction that he didn't have until the night before. He'll be chasing this high for the rest of his life.
They lie together afterwards, sated and content for the moment. He still can't stop looking at her in all her golden and disheveled glory, but that's okay because she's staring right back at him. Her fingers follow a slow yet already familiar trail up and down his shoulder as his explore the dimples in her back, and he thinks this might just be one of the most blissful moments of his life. The smile she shows him is one of bare-faced happiness. He doesn't think he has ever seen it before now, but realizes it is what he has looked for his whole life.
Words tumble out of his mouth without consideration. "I love you."
It is the first full sentence he has spoken that day, and the words get a little stuck in his throat. But they are true, they are heartfelt, and she hears them clearly. She is surprised, that much is clear. He thinks she was probably only thinking as far ahead as finding some coffee for breakfast, and now he's gone and spoiled it all by saying something stupid like…that. He should take it back—it would be the polite way to overcome this awkwardness—but his head can't force his mouth to try. His heart wins this round, and he stay silent while he awaits her response. It comes right as his chest starts to hurt and his face grows warm from the breath he's holding back. He thinks he is going to die. But right before his heart gives out, she chuckles and lifts herself just enough to cover half of his body again. She kisses him lovingly, and then elegant fingers brush against his stubbled cheek and she smiles another smile he's never seen before—warm, honest, giddy.
"I know," she whispers to him. "I love you, too."
She kisses him again, then. And again. And again, until relief floods him and his blissful moment returns. He rolls her over and traps her beneath him, and he has to take a few moments to look down at this woman he loves beyond all reason. She is smiling for him again—God, she is so beautiful when she smiles like this—and his heart shatters and comes together again.
"I want to make this work," he tells her. He has never wanted anything more than he wants this.
He is lucky that Ziva has come down on his side. The woman cannot be argued with once her mind is made up. For once, he will benefit from her resolve. She takes his face between her hands. "We will," she tells him with a stubborn nod.
He has never loved her more. And from that moment on, and for the rest of his life, he is unwavering in his contentment to be hers.
