AN: ***SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 EPISODE 12: UNNATURAL HABITS. ***


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Vows

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"Why is it that they haven't modified the marriage vows to include the caveat 'unless or until the other party applies for a divorce at which point I will most likely commit murder' after all that rubbish about loving and serving that person forever?" Phryne asked Jack as they sipped their post-case whiskey in her parlour.

Given that they'd just solved their third murder by vengeful spouse this month, Jack could see her point. However agreeing with Miss Fisher was never half so much fun as disagreeing with her and a man had to earn his whiskey after all.

"Given there are plenty of men, myself included, who have safely navigated divorce without resorting to hacking their bride's new-intended and their bride to death with a pitchfork it would probably have been considered a little too extreme for the church or state to condone."

Phryne's eyes had taken on the mischievous gleam which always spelled trouble, yet drew Jack to her like a moth to a flame. Her comeback did not disappoint.

"However, you did manage to have your former father-in-law and your bride's intended committed to stand trial in which the intended may just be sentenced to a long wait followed by death in prison for his crimes. That could be considered a policeman's ultimate triumph."

"You seem to be overlooking the minor fact that both men committed serious crimes, irrespective of their treatment of my former wife." Jack said it dryly but struggled to keep his lips from slipping into a smile. He could not help feeling a certain satisfaction in the knowledge that Sidney Fletcher had proven thoroughly rotten and would not now be marrying his former wife.

"A man of your high moral fiber is unlikely to ever be a very good example in such cases but given you shot Sidney for threatening me and I nearly murdered that beastly woman who swung that axe at you when we were investigating the string of deaths in the East Shepparton orchard deaths perhaps I should revise my theory slightly." Phryne paused dramatically, her eyes watching him intently as she raised her glass as if to toast the theory she was about to announce. "A caveat for all those who love then: loss of that love can lead to a most unnatural death."

And for that, Jack had no reply. Only Miss Fisher could declare she loved him and forecast mayhem and death for all those who love in the same breath.

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