Impact Deformation: Change caused by the conversion of the kinetic energy of a moving body into a distortion of material and loss of energy into heat following collision with another body.


"How far out do we need to be to escape the wave, Sam?" Colonel Ellis asked as the Apollo lifted off from the Lantean piers.

"Well, we can't really escape it- it's like ripples on a pond- it'll go on for a few hundred years. We just need to get to where it's very weak." Sam thought if she just stayed focused on the interesting physics of the situation, she could avoid becoming physically ill.

"Uh huh. Ripples on a pond." Ellis smiled wryly.

Keep talking, Sam. Do your job. "McKay calculated a half-hour in hyperspace, then come back. If we're in hyperspace when it goes by, it won't matter, and we'll be far enough out if it hits when we turn around."

"Will do." Ellis turned to his right. "Activate hyperdrive, Major."

After a tense, mostly wordless hour, the Apollo was back in orbit around M12-578.

"Atlantis, this is Colonel Ellis aboard the Apollo. Do you read?"

The tiny delay in transmission seemed eternal.

"Yes, Abe. We hear you." Jack's voice echoed through the bridge. "We're okay."

The bridge erupted in cheers and Sam sat back in her seat. "How'd you do it?"

"I hate to tell you this, Sam, but McKay can jerry-rig crap almost as well as you can." Jack smiled with a grin meant only for her. "You know the last moments of the Titanic- ah- where the walls are floors kinda thing? We have a lot of broken stuff, but only a few casualties with no deaths. So get down here and help clean up this mess."

The Apollo landed at the pier and the denizens of Atlantis streamed off, still in a daze over what had transpired in just under six hours. Sam thanked the crew of the Apollo for once again bailing them out.

"You've got to stop this, Sam. I can't get a damn thing done." Ellis cautioned her, smiling.

"Sorry. Do you want to come onshore for a break?"

Abe smiled slyly at her. "No, I think you've got better things to do than entertain a ship's crew. And I don't just mean fixing up Atlantis."

Sam smiled and walked out into the bright morning sunshine, to find Jack waiting at the edge of the pier. "You just had to be the last one out, didn't you?" He hugged her, and could feel the tension lingering in her body. He had a little flash of regret at what he'd done, but decided he'd do it again if he had to. She'd forgive him. In fact, getting her to forgive him sometimes led to the best…

"Jack, you're lucky I don't report you." She interrupted his daydream, which was just as well considering they were on a pier in broad daylight right beside the Apollo.

"Go ahead. Maybe they'll fire me." He held her back and looked at her, a tiny smile playing at the edge of his lips.

"What if you had died? How would I explain that?" Sam pouted. She wasn't going to hold out a lot longer with that smirk on his face, though.

"That's what you'd be worried about?" Jack clutched his chest. "Ouch Carter, that hurts."

Sam finally relented, smiling at him. "Damn you, stop it." She looked up to see a throng of scientists and engineers surging toward them, led by a chattering Rodney McKay.

"Sam, we've got six weak spots in the shield I'm concerned about…"

"Several buildings have serious structural damage." Zelenka chimed in.

Another engineer was about to speak when Sam waved them off. "Sorry guys, take it to the General. I'm not in charge, here." She walked off as Jack was mobbed by his least-favorite species of Air Force personnel- and she just couldn't resist glancing back.

The look on Jack's face was priceless. "Carter. Hey, Colonel," Jack tried to move forward, but couldn't. There was sheer desperation in his voice. "About that command? You can have it back. Right now."

Sam kept walking. It wasn't much of a payback, but it made her feel a little better. She smiled.

"CARTER!" There was complete silence.

"Yes, sir?" Sam turned, suppressing her amusement.

"You're in charge of Atlantis." He was grinning.You're good. You're so damn good.

"Thank you, sir." I learned from the best. She fielded a couple of urgent questions and established a time for a formal damage assessment meeting later that day. Jack waited patiently, looking over the railings, a little annoyed that there were no pebbles or sticks to toss into the water. It wasn't right.

"I'm sorry Jack. It always seems like something comes up, doesn't it?" Sam said wistfully, as they headed toward the entrance, the 304 lifting off behind them.

Jack opened the door for her, but wasn't able to answer her question before an odd sound caused him to look up. He pushed her inside and gave her one last order.

"GO!"

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What Jack had seen was the top of one of the buildings separating along a jagged crack created by the lurching of the city during the shockwave. Though the Apollo's engines weren't producing much thrust, the sheer volume of air displaced by its moving bulk had created enough turbulence to be the last straw for the shattered, tired building.

The city had shields, but none to protect it from itself. The top of the tower smashed down onto one of the lower arms of Atlantis and skidded, the point at its apex slashing like a scimitar through the walls, knocking Sam into Jack and both of them onto the floor.

Again, alarms pierced the peacefulness of the city and the lights flickered momentarily. Jack crawled over to Sam, who lay on her side, curled up. "Sam?" He lifted his hands to roll her over, and they were already covered with blood- but he wasn't hurt.What the hell?

With relief, he saw that she was breathing and her eyes were open. "Are you all right?" He couldn't see very well, it was always so goddamned dark in Atlantis.

"It got me good, Jack." Sam 's voice was thick with pain.

Jack carefully ran his eyes over her and was suddenly overcome with the sickening realization that his beautiful, capable wife, the CO of Atlantis and world-class genius, had been carelessly torn and tossed aside like a paper doll.

You're one of this country's national resources. If not national treasures.

He ripped off his jacket and tied it around her as tightly as he could, but it didn't seem to help, turning from brown to black in seconds. Jack found her headset and gently but quickly removed it, hearing strained voices paging for medics as he leaned over and settled it in his ear. "Colonel Carter's down, we need medics now!"

We're talking about Carter, here.

An affirmative reply answered back.

"No, Jack." Sam said weakly. "Someone else needs them more."

Jack either didn't hear her or he didn't want to understand what she was trying to say. "No, Sam. They're coming, hang on." She had survived injuries before. She could survive this one, too.

You did it Sam, you won. You hung in there and you beat it.

"Jack," Sam looked into his eyes. She felt a driving need to memorize every line, every scar, even the shape of his lips. She put her fingers up to his face. "I only want you here."

"No!" He stared at her with a wild fear that even in its strangeness somehow seemed vaguely familiar. Sam held his gaze and smiled sadly, running her fingers slowly through his hair. There was so much she wanted to tell him but the thoughts wouldn't form, wouldn't make it to her lips, and it was getting so very dark.

I was shouting for you to hear.

With panicked breaths Jack cradled her head in his sticky hands. "Does it hurt?"

"I'm cold."

Jack leaned over her and shut his eyes. He could feel her slight breaths and hammering pulse, but the air around them was filled with the steely smell he'd become so used to over the years that he sensed it even in his nightmares. He dropped his head to hers and kissed her gently. "Please Sam, stay with me."

"Always." Sam murmured back. "Thank you, Jack."

For what? For nothing. I've got plenty of that.

Jack kept his forehead on hers, the world spinning out of control except for that touch of her skin on his. He watched as his hand slowly came up to her neck and fingers pushed down on her skin with a gentle caress. Only, he was certain they weren't his fingers because if they had been, they'd have found what they were searching for.

There are two of us. If only.

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"General, it's time to go." Teyla said gently, her arm around Jack's shoulders. He didn't answer her and he didn't move. McKay, Keller and the medics stood behind them near a gurney and crash cart with its drawers in total disarray, everyone unable to process what had just transpired.

"Sir, you don't want to leave her here like this." Sheppard looked uncertainly at Teyla, who nodded. He stepped carefully around to the opposite side, knelt down and put one of Jack's arms around his shoulders. John and Teyla started to get Jack on his feet, and with his other hand, John gently eased Sam's head to the floor. But Jack wouldn't go. He reached down and brushed her hair one more time.

Teyla put her hand on his face and turned it to her. "General- Jack- Your paths will cross again." She had seen much grief and death in her life, but Jack's eyes scared her- it was as if Sam had taken him with her when she died. He gave no indication that he'd heard anything she said, but he finally stood and nodded.

Jack turned to Dr. Keller. "Her shirt- it's inside out."

The doctor ducked her eyes. "I'll fix it, General."

As Sheppard escorted Jack down the hall, McKay grabbed Teyla and turned her to him. "Stop it with that spiritual mumbo-jumbo. Carter was the finest scientific mind in two galaxies and it would piss her off to no end to think that…" He struggled. "I'll be damned if I'll let you…" He stared at Teyla in helpless silence, and for the first time anyone could recall, words actually failed Rodney McKay. Teyla hugged him as he broke down, while Dr. Keller and the medics quietly attended to what used to be Sam Carter.

John and Jack stood in front of Sam's quarters. "General, why don't we run you by the infirmary?"

"There's nothing wrong with me." Jack took a deep breath and looked John in the eye. "You're in command here now. Go see to your people. Get McKay on the gates."

John nodded and turned away. He'd never seen such dedication to duty, and he wasn't sure that was something to which he really wanted to aspire. Damn. How can he think of Atlantis right now? He walked slowly to the transporter, wondering if they'd run afoul of some kind of Ancient curse that hung in the air and lay coiled up in the walls of Atlantis. A million-year-old curse a hundred times worse than King Tut's that warned all humans not to tamper with things they didn't understand.

Jack entered the apartment and left the lights off. Bright morning light streamed in through the tall windows, but he avoided looking out at any of the buildings, unsure where the crumbled one might be. He knew it was out there though, because he could feel it, taunting and accusatory. Jack went to the sink and washed his hands but knew he'd never get rid of the blood.

It would have been such an easy thing to do, he thought. One phone call that she would never have known about, and she could have gone back to Area 51 to put in her years until Landry retired. She'd have been safe if hadn't used her like a chess piece- Let's see, Colonel Reynolds goes here, General Landry here, Colonel Carter here, and Daniel Jackson right here. There's no substitute for winning.

The fact that Sam had requested the command and was clearly thriving in the position didn't even register in Jack's mind. Her death was a direct result of his decision and that was all he needed to know. It didn't matter why he'd made the decision, only that he had.

Jack didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until a rap at the half-open front door awakened him. "Jack? It's us. Daniel and Teal'c." The lights flashed on.

"Dammit, Daniel." Jack covered his eyes and sat up.

"God, Jack." Daniel stood helplessly in the middle of the room. There was nothing to say, nothing to bridge the chasm of pain that threatened to swallow all three of them.

"You didn't have to come. She'll be just as dead when I bring her home."

"It's not your fault."

Teal'c watched his two friends for a moment, and then moved over to Jack's suitcase that lay open on a table.

"Like hell." Jack looked up into his friend's distraught face. "You tried to protect your wife. I sent mine into the middle of a goddamned hostile galaxy." Jack laughed mirthlessly. "I told her, 'You're exactly what the IOA wants.'"

"Jack, she wanted to go. You've both always done what you had to do."

"I'll put that on her tombstone, okay? 'We did what we had to do.'"

"I cared about her, too, Jack." Daniel stared at him. "In fact, I'd let you put a bullet through my head right now if I thought I could find her- but I can't." He started to pace the floor, running his fingers through his hair in absent-minded desperation. "I can't go back again. I should have taken us all back to Keb and we could have learned while we had the chance."

"There was nothing left at Keb, Daniel." Jack sighed wearily and put his head in his hands. "We didn't even know what it meant at the time."

"We weren't sure. I assumed Oma would always be there." Daniel stopped moving and stared at Jack. "I should have made us go back while we had the fucking chance."

Jack was dimly aware that he'd never heard the genteel triple-PhD-holder use words like that before. "Daniel…"

"Cease this conversation!" Teal'c's anguished voiced rumbled through the room. "We will remember Colonel Carter with fondness and appreciate her life for its many incredible contributions. You will speak no further of these things. I will not hear of it."

Daniel and Jack stared at him, and it finally hit them that he'd known her for fifty years longer than they. He held out clean clothing. "O'Neill, I will help you with your change of attire. Daniel Jackson, you will arrange for a meal to be sent here." Jack and Daniel obeyed without another word.

After a supper that went untouched, Jack turned to Daniel, who was sitting beside Jack on the couch, holding a small stone carving Daniel had given her. "What you said about ascending- do you think it could have happened?" Jack felt as if his very soul hung on Daniel's reply.

"What did you see?" Teal'c inquired gently. Jack shook his head.

"Humans need help to ascend, Jack. There's no one to help her." Daniel kept his eyes on the figurine and off of his friend's face.

"Oma?"

"No," Daniel shook his head. "She- I know she's gone. Well, not gone, but not able to help. Plus, there's not usually any…" he paused, finally looking carefully at Jack.. "There should be nothing left."

"There isn't." Jack replied stonily. He sighed and closed his eyes briefly as his last tiny flame of hope flickered out. Jack had always thought Sam helped him fill in the black recesses of his soul- but really she was the light holding the darkness at bay- and now it was all going to swallow him up, faster than ever this time. In a way it was comforting to know there was no point in resisting, no reason to fight anymore- and giving up was seductively effortless. One step and he could fall right out through his empty heart and into space.

He took yet another drink of scotch and water. Daniel evaluated him with concern, and glanced up at Teal'c, their eyes meeting in an unspoken agreement that Jack was not to be left alone until they were sure. Daniel already knew Teal'c had taken Jack's AF-issued sidearm when Teal'c went through his suitcase, but there were a lot more where that one came from, Daniel knew. In some ways, Sam had been safer in the Pegasus Galaxy than Jack was in Washington- and Jack was always prepared.

Teal'c got Jack into bed, and Daniel took the couch, as there was no question Teal'c wouldn't fit. He lay motionless on the hard floor and looked straight up at the ceiling. I remember your eightieth birthday. I held you while you cried because you realized you would die without seeing O'Neill again. I did not think I would have to do the same thing for O'Neill. He stayed awake all night in case he might be of assistance, listening for Daniel and Jack, and realized that he, the long-lived Jaffa, would most likely encounter this heart wrenching situation at least twice more before he died.

In the morning, the three men met John's team at the gate.

"General." Sheppard saluted, dressed in the blues he never wore.

"Sheppard."

"I can't come with you. I wish I could." John swallowed hard. "I'm sorry- there's a lot of damage and a lot of casualties."

"There are." Jack looked at him, expressionless.

John was sure Jack could see right through him. John had two commanders die on his watch. One he could attribute to bad luck or chance, but two- that was incompetence. Some head of security he was- but, by God, O'Neill would have to have him dishonorably discharged before he left this place. He stood stiffly, waiting to hear whom his replacement would be.

"You'll take care of it, Sheppard. If you need anything, let us know."

John could barely contain his shock. "Yes sir." He wondered if anyone really knew Jack O'Neill, and then it occurred to him that the only person who probably did lay dead in the casevac pod a few feet away.

McKay stepped up. "I'm coming."

"There's nothing Radek can't handle." John added, trying to reassure Jack that he did indeed have a handle on the situation.

"I wouldn't give a damn if he couldn't." McKay glanced at John. "You can survive without me for a while."

Jack nodded, and the four men went over to the pod. Daniel couldn't look at it, finally forcing himself to locate just the handle, and then he slipped his hand through and looked ahead.

Jack bent over to grab a handle and as he did so, caught sight of Teyla standing much further back, against the curtain of glass. She nodded once, slowly, as if she knew something he should know as well. Jack tried to understand but the thought seemed just out of reach, and then it slipped away entirely. He focused his vision on the stars as they fell down the side of the box and led him to the handle just below the edge of the flag.

"Okay". They stood up. Two hundred people stood at attention, half of them in salute, as Colonel Samantha Carter O'Neill was carried home.