Meredith's eyes lit up as she walked towards the daycare center. She could see Liam in the crib. As she got closer, she realized her was crying. Not just crying, he was bawling. She frowned as she walked up and opened the door. Her heart ached as he heard his loud cries fill the room.

"He won't stop." Karen said with a frown as she looked up.

"You didn't page me." Meredith grumbled with a frown.

"He just-" Karen followed Meredith to the crib.

"Oh... My poor guy. Leelee, you're okay." She told him as she leaned down and picked him up. His face brightened as he looked at his mom.

"Oh good..." Karen said with relief as she looked at Meredith. "He doesn't usually do this."

"You need to page me when he is like this." Meredith said frankly as she held him close. "Has Dr. shepherd been down to see him?"

"No. He hasn't been around all day." Karen said with a faint smile.

"I'm going to take him outside with me while I eat lunch. It's a nice day." Meredith explained as she placed him in his carrier and walked out of the room.

Meredith was not happy to hear that Derek had not been around to see his son. In fact it killed her. Liam needed to know that his dad was around. He needed to know who his dad was. She knew Derek couldn't help it. But she didn't like the fact that Liam was the one that suffered for it all. He may be young, but he knew that someone was missing.

"Hey Liam..." Izzie cooed as Meredith sat his carried down on the table.

"Oh god... You brought the stink patrol." Cristina muttered as she looked up.

"If you don't shut up, his latest deposit will make it's way to your locker." Meredith said with a smile as she looked across the table.

"A lot of talk. But I know better." Cristina said with a nod.

"Keep pushing it. You'll see." Meredith told her quickly. Meredith opened up her salad and began picking at it.

"I wouldn't screw with her. Those things are like bombs." Alex told her frankly as he looked at Liam. Liam began to whimper.

"Oh Liam. We know he's grotesque. Just look away." Izzie said with a giggle.

"He's hungry." Meredith said simply as she grabbed her son and covered him with the blanket. She rubbed his head as he nursed gently.

"Seriously. Do you know how hard it is to eat when he is sucking on your boob?" Alex said as he looked over.

"He's a baby. He has to eat." Meredith told him. "Besides, he is covered. It's not like you're seeing anything."

"And that's the problem." Alex said with a chuckle.

"You are an ass..." Meredith said as she rolled her eyes.

"You are deranged." George said as he shook his head.

"I can't help it that you aren't a man." Alex snapped.

"I am a man!" George yelled as he tossed his sandwich down.

"We know you are, Dr. O'Malley." Derek said as he walked up. "Hey.." Derek said softly to Meredith. "I went to see my son. But apparently, he ran away."

"He did." Meredith said with a giggle. "I found him attached to my boob."

"What a good place to be." Derek said with a smirk as he lifted the blanket and kissed Liam on the head. "Lucky guy."

"It's not something you couldn't have..." Meredith muttered softly.

"Did you really have to say that?" George asked as he looked over at her.

"I kinda did." Meredith said happily. "So how is your day?" Meredith asked as she looked over.

"Busy." Derek told her as he dragged the chair over. Meredith picked at her salad as Liam nursed. "How is yours?"

"It's fine. My interns are driving me nuts today." Meredith explained.

"You have no room to talk! You have four. We all have five and that is bullshit." Cristina pointed out. "I think someone was being easy on you." She said suggestively as she looked at Derek.

"It's not my fault Meredith ran her intern out of the program." Derek said with a chuckle,

"I didn't run her out. She couldn't hack it." Meredith said with a shrug. "Are you done, big guy?" Meredith asked as Liam looked up. "Maybe daddy wants to burp you?" She asked as she looked at Derek.

"Of course." Derek said. Right as he went to grab him, his pager went off. He looked down at it and frowned. "I have to-"

"Just go." Meredith said with a clenched jaw as she patted Liam's back.

"I'm sorry." Derek told her softly.

"I know you are." She said as she closed her eyes, forcing the tears back.

Everyone at the table remained silent. They knew what was going on. It was an obvious to the rest of the hospital. But they saw her everyday. They could see the loneliness in her eyes. She looked like she was sinking. Their friend was losing her happily ever after.

"I'm so sorry, Leelee." She whispered as she patted Liam softly on his back. "So sorry."

"I'm sorry, Mer." Izzie said softly as she looked across the table.

"Sorry for what?" Meredith asked as she pretended to be oblivious. "I have to go." She told them as she placed Liam in the carrier and walked off.

"Man... That's rough." Alex said as he watched her walk off.

"Shepherd's an ass." Cristina spat as she stood up.

"I think you're right." Izzie said sadly.

-----------------

Meredith drove home from the hospital alone. When she went to the daycare center, Liam was bawling again. In fact, his cheeks were raw from the tears. She ran her fingers on his gums, and she didn't feel any problems. She hated leaving him there. Her obviously wasn't happy. Between his unhappiness and her own, she was feeling like she was drowning.

The sun was just setting as Meredith drove down the long winding driveway. She looked at the beautiful sunset as it shown through the trees and over the water. The house was dark except for the timer lights that were on the outside. She just left the hospital, she knew Derek was still there. As she drove up, she frowned. It was so simple when it was she and him in that trailer. That first time that they made love. And now it was so complicated. Anyone who would drive up to their house would think that it was perfection. Surely the people who lived in it were perfect too. If they only knew.

Meredith pulled a package of meat out of the refrigerator. She had to cook. She wasn't the best, but she was learning. Without Derek around to cook, she had to do it. Living on macaroni and cheese didn't work when you were nursing a baby. She placed the meat in the pot and carried Liam to a chair by the window. She made enough for two. But she knew it would just be one.

Meredith looked at the headlights coming down the driveway. Her face brightened. Her smile grew. He was home. He actually got out of there at a decent hour. For once they could share a meal at the same place at the same time. But all excited faded as she watched the car pull in front of the house.

"Hey." Meredith said to Cristina as she opened the door.

"You need to drink." Cristina said with a nod as she held up the bottle of tequila and walked in.

"I can't. As much as I need to, I can't." Meredith told her with a sad sigh. "Not with Liam."

"Put him to bed." Cristina said frankly as she looked at the baby's blue eyes.

"I can't do that. I can't take care of him when I am drinking. And I'm nursing." Meredith told her as she held her hand against Liam's head.

"You are no fun." Cristina spat as she looked up. "Well, if you aren't going to drink, I will." She told her with a shrug as she walked over and grabbed a glass out of the cabinet. "Your husband is an ass."

"I know." Meredith muttered as she sat down I the stool. "I know he is."

"So what are you going to do?" Cristina asked as she looked up at Meredith.

"About what?" Meredith asked as she bounced Liam gently.

"Your marriage is over." Cristina said frankly as she slammed a shot.

"Why? Why do you have to say that?" Meredith snapped as she looked at Cristina.

"Because it's true. I always told you it was a bad idea. And it was. But I have to admit that I thought it would be later. I thought for sure you would have a whole herd of mini McDreamys and then he would dump your ass off. I guess with Burke gone, he got his shot at Chief sooner." Cristina told her simply.

"My marriage is not over. And Derek is a good chief!" Meredith said quickly. "He was always going to be chief."

Meredith felt sick as she sat there. Cristina couldn't be right. There was no way there her marriage was over. They still had the spark. Derek was just really busy. They were not over. They couldn't be. She couldn't think that way. Why did Cristina have to say that?

----------------

Derek sat at his mahogany desk. The hospital was quiet. He experienced these moments quite frequently these days. The moments when the hospital was quiet and he had a huge pile of paperwork in front of him. This was not what he had expected when he accepted the position as chief. But he couldn't say he didn't know better, because he did. He knew exactly what it was to be the chief of surgery. The boss.

As he glanced up at the clock, he frowned. It was already eleven in the evening. It was almost the next day. Almost the next day and he wasn't done with the work from today. He should call Meredith. He wanted to call Meredith. But he knew if he did, it would be the same thing that it always had been. He quit calling a month ago. Because he was tired of it. He would call, and wake Liam up. And then Meredith would be angry because he did. And if he didn't happen to wake Liam up, then she was mad anyway. It was always the same. She was mad. And he was apologetic. And neither was happy. There was no way to be. It was constant disappointment.

Derek didn't regret taking the job as chief. He regretted the time it took away from his family. He regretted that he didn't get to see his son. And he regretted that he hadn't put Liam down for bed since he didn't know when. But he loved being chief. He loved his job. It was all he worked for all his life. And after all the hard work, he made it. He actually made it. And he couldn't let go of that.

He missed Meredith. He wasn't dumb. And he wasn't blind. He had been seeing it. Her face was just a little more tired each day. She looked just a little sadder. She didn't look unhappy. She looked unsatisfied. And she probably was. He hadn't made love to her in god knows how long. Not that he didn't want to. He did. But the exhaustion by the end of the day took all the need away from him. The only thing he wanted when he got home was a warm bed.

As Derek signed his last piece of paper, he sighed. There was more. Always more. But he could go home. He could go home and work twice as hard tomorrow. He dropped his pen down on the desk and flipped off the light. Maybe for once he could sleep in the warmth of his wife's arms instead of the cold leather sofa or the dirty on-call room bed.

As Derek drove up to his house, he realized how much he missed it. He missed cutting the grass. He loved sitting on that tractor and mowing the lawn. He missed the way the sun looked when it come over the trees on the east side of the property as they ate breakfast. He created this house for them. For his family to grow old in. He missed all of it. But right now there wasn't anything he could do about it.

Derek sighed as he pulled his shoes off and walked into her dark house. Meredith had a few small lights on. All lights that they kept on when they went to bed. She was in bed already. Most normal people were. He noticed Cristina's car in the driveway. He knew she was here. As he looked in the refrigerator, he saw the remnants of the meal that Meredith had cooked. But he realized her was just too tired to eat.

All Derek wanted to do was go lay in his soft warm bed. He had been longing for that bed the last three nights. He made his way down the hallway, stopping at Liam's nursery. The tiny baby was sleeping so peacefully. Derek just stood there and took in the sight of his amazing son. He still couldn't believe that he and Meredith had created something so perfect. He gave him a soft kiss before heading to his bedroom. A frown covered his face as he walked in.

Cristina was in his bed. That soft, warm bed that he had longed for? Well now she was in it. And my she, he meant the woman that he didn't care too much for. And the feeling it seemed was mutual between them. Meredith's toxic friend. That was what he called her to himself. She was dark. And selfish. And she didn't care about Meredith. Not really.

Derek ignored the overwhelming feeling to shove her out of his bed. Instead, he decided to brush his teeth and go to the guest room. As he laid his head down on the pillow he grumbled. He should be in his bed. With his wife. But he wasn't. And he probably wouldn't be tomorrow, either.