Under the cover of wiping his mouth with his napkin and then taking a drink of his ice water, Mac carefully studied Adam from across the table. The young man had eaten well, better than Mac had anticipated in fact, and was now staring at the final slice of pizza longingly. Mac chuckled and waved him on.
"Go ahead. I'm two pieces beyond my usual limit already."
"Thanks. Gotta say, boss..." he offered after swallowing a bite. "... this is kinda... nice. Seeing you let down and smile, I mean. Don't get to see much of that at work. Especially lately."
"Not much reason. I do have a life outside the lab, though."
"Well, yeah... I figure everybody does. It's just... you're the head honcho an' it's harder to picture you brushing your teeth or going bowling, you know? Man... I needed this. It's a thing with me. When I get deep into what I'm doing, I totally forget I have a stomach until the hunger situation gets desperate. Same with being tired or stressed out..."
"Yeah... yeah, I've done that more than once. Bad habit..." Mac responded softly, seemingly fascinated by his napkin and the subtle pattern on the tabletop.
"Really bad. I know it, too. Hate to face it... but I know. I... I wanna do so good for you... you an' the whole team. Not lettin' you guys down is always in my head. I have to be the absolute best I can... all the time. That's why the computer thing today hit me so hard. I thought I'd totally blown it with y-... with everybody."
Gazing up, Mac realized Adam was now also determinedly keeping his eyes lowered.
"Look at me, Adam." Mac asked, continuing only when his request had been complied with. "I don't mind a little hero-worship, as long as it doesn't get out of hand. As difficult as it might be to get your head around, I'm very much a normal person. At work... I guess I feel the same way you do. I'm the one who's ultimately responsible for what happens, how people conduct themselves. Maybe I think I have to be the ultimate example... influence the people who work with me and for me to see the best in themselves and want to be exactly what you said... the absolute best they can."
"Wow... the 'serious at work' thing makes so much more sense, now. That's a huge weight to carry, boss. How do you handle it... without going on a shooting spree or beating the general populace to a bloody pulp, I mean."
Mac snorted, thinking how many times he'd been sorely tempted to do just that, then narrowed his gaze, watching the other man critically.
"You really up for finding out?"
"Uh... that look says I should run for my life... but I've never been one for sane and rational. Okay, fearless leader... I'm in."
"Good. I'll go pay the check and meet you outside."
Adam grinned and gathered his jacket, sliding into it as he pushed out the door. Shaking his head slowly, he wondered what he was getting himself into, and whether he should be backing away, but his sense of adventure asserted itself and refused to allow retreat. Warming his chilled hands in his coat pockets, he bounced on his toes and happily gave the anticipation and his immense curiosity free reign.
TWENTY MINUTES LATER:
Stepping out of the cab they'd caught at the restaurant, Adam cautiously moved up behind Mac, who was already on the sidewalk. Smiling warily, the younger man lifted an eyebrow as he skeptically considered the non-descript building
"You sure you got this right, boss? Not the best neighborhood..."
"I know. That's the idea."
"It is?"
"I'd never override your instincts, Adam. If you don't feel right..."
"No... no, I trust you, I do. Let's go."
As they reached the heavy steel door, Mac pulled a card from his wallet and swiped it through the small electronic lock just to one side. The door disengaged with a sharp click and Mac moved inside, Adam tight on his heels. For several minutes, they strode through brightly lit, bare corridors and finally came to another door, which also yielded to Mac's pass, allowing them access to an enormous room. Mac hit a series of switches just inside the door and heard his companion draw a sharp, surprised breath. As they entered, Adam gaped and turned in a slow circle, trying to take everything in.
"Whoa... this is incredible!" he enthused, then immediately lowered his voice when the high-ceilinged room echoed back at him. "I've never seen a gym this big. Wait... if that's what this place is, why the security?"
"It's more than that... plus it's mostly for cops and military. Friend of mine runs it." Mac explained as he stripped off his coat. "He's former PD, former Navy... knows first hand how unpopular guys in those professions can be. He wanted to set up a place for us to work out and get together where we knew we'd be safe."
"And the bad area thing?"
"After he moved in and started renovating, he realized there were a lot of kids around here in real danger of falling into gangs, drugs, alcohol... Once the building was ready, he spread it around that he was offering after-school programs, computer classes and self-defense training free to any kid that wanted it and was willing to follow the rules."
Adam whistled softly.
"They don't get cards too, do they? I get the 'trust if you wanna be trusted' concept, but..."
"No cards. The classes are strictly scheduled. They get in when he and the staff are here to supervise. After school, he's right there by the door to monitor who comes in."
"Same to be sure they all leave, right?"
"Parents or legal guardians are required to come pick them up. That way he gets the adults involved in what the kids are doing... and *how* they're doing. C'mon. The locker room's back here."
"But, I... I don't have anything to change into."
"My buddy keeps baskets of clean donated work-out stuff available for guests... but you don't have to do anything. Watching you fight online today I got the urge to see you try it in the real world, that's all. No pressure, no obligation. You're free to hang back and just watch if you want. I might ask you to brace the heavy bag for me... but nothing else."
"Wait... you mean... you're offering to-to show me... no way!" Adam stammered, his expression showing cautious excitement and hope.
"Yes way. It's not everyone's thing. You may find out you hate it or you don't have the aptitude... but I'm really curious to know. If I'm reading things right, so are you."
"Are you kidding? Yeah, boss! Definitely! Man, this is so cool!"
Mac laughed and felt something stir inside him on witnessing the young man's enthusiasm again. Aware, however, that it wasn't the time for deep self-examination, he quickly pushed aside the unfamiliar, slightly disquieting feelings and focused on Adam.
"It could be, at that. I'm hopeful, but I'll reserve judgment and so should you."
"I can do it, I know I can. Just gimme a fair shot, boss."
"I will. Believe me, I will. C'mon... let's find you something you can really move in."
1HOUR LATER:
"That's it. Pop, pop... sharpen up the motion... short and quick. Good... really good, Adam. Keep the wrist strong and straight... better. Now the combination I showed you... yeah, that's it. Very nice. Take a break, catch your breath."
Adam tried to grin, but didn't have the energy for much more than a faint smirk. Reaching out with one heavily gloved hand, he affectionately cuffed the electronic boxing trainer on the side of the head and dropped to sit on the floor. Mac crouched close and patted him on the shoulder. "That tired, hmmm?"
"No, boss. Just... need to rest for a minute... catch a breath, like you said."
"Uh-huh. We need to make a deal here, Adam. I'm impressed with what I've seen tonight and I wanna keep working with you... but not if we can't agree to be honest with each other."
Adam looked up, wiped his brow on his sleeve and gazed at Mac curiously.
"I'm listening."
"You can get hurt in this kind of training. One wrong twist, a kick that hits the bag or the pads at the wrong angle... If I can't trust you to admit how you're actually feeling, this isn't gonna happen."
"Boss..."
"I know, but this isn't about letting anybody down or trying to be bigger and better in my eyes. It's about your health and safety and I won't be a party to compromising that. Not when I depend on you so much at the lab. Never mind the fact that Stella would skin me alive if she found out I let you get hurt and then *hide* it."
"Gotcha."
"So..."
"I fell down 'cause my legs wouldn't hold me up anymore."
"I thought as much. Time to hit the showers." Mac ordered gently, rising to his full height then lifting Adam onto his feet. The task took much less effort than he expected and the older man frowned. "You weren't kidding about not eating."
Adam flushed and turned his face away, but didn't respond. "Okay, not now, but we'll be talking more about it as time goes on. You won't get everything you could out of the training if you aren't putting the right foods, and enough of them, in your belly."
"Right, Boss."
One hand on Adam's elbow to support him, Mac slowly assisted him back to the dressing room. Settling the younger man on a bench, Mac turned to his locker, opened it and casually stripped off his damp t-shirt. At the sight of Taylor's muscled back and shoulders, Adam abruptly realized that the rest of his lean form was about to be uncovered as well and had to fight off a fit of panicked laughter. Rising unsteadily, he shuffled to the opposite end of the room and pretended to find the blank stretch of metal doors fascinating.
"Adam."
"It's okay, boss... I'm fine. You just keep on... doin' what you were doin'."
"Damn, I'm sorry. I didn't think about..."
Mac paused, embarrassed by his lapse of attention and mildly upset with himself for becoming so comfortable with Adam that he'd nearly ruined what had been a wonderful few hours up to that point. Clearing his throat and grinning, he offered a solution.
"We'll use the private shower stalls. I'll, uh... I'll finish undressing in there, too."
"That'll work. Thanks. Thanks for everything tonight. I'm... really grateful. And nothing but honesty from now on, I swear."
"Good."
Grabbing his towel, Mac disappeared behind one of the plastic curtains. Hearing it rattle closed, Adam sank to the floor again, struggling to breathe slowly, cringing at his thoughts and fervently wishing both sides of the battle in his head would call it a stalemate.
TBC...
