How to Kill a Plant
Seymour had a sleepless night. He could not erase the image in his mind of seeing Audrey II about to swallow up Mr. Mushnik. The fact that Audrey II fed on human blood was a huge problem. In the beginning, he had thought that it was totally harmless. It brought more revenue into the store, and that made Mr. Mushnik happy. With the knowledge of what Audrey II fed on, how on earth would Seymour continue to feed it? It was only a matter of time before it sucked the one person he truly loved away… maybe even by literally swallowing her whole. That person was the co-worker for which the plant was named; Audrey.
He remembered when he had told her how he felt. It had been after he had disposed of her horrible, sadistic boyfriend via Audrey II. He still was not sure if he had committed murder or had only been a witness to his death, but when he had been with her, everything felt just right…
"Audrey what did the police officer say?"
She hesitated and dried her eyes. "He said while there is no evidence of foul play, there's still reason to be suspicious of Orin's death. They still need t' investigate."
"Why are you upset?"
"I'm not upset that he's missing. I actually wanted to break up with him for the longest time, but I feel like his disappearance was my fault."
He was quick to reply, "-But it wasn't."
"I still blame it on myself though."
" You don't need to, Audrey. There are so many other guys that could treat you with respect, unlike Orin."
"I know he's out there somewhere, Seymour. Just not on Skid Row."
Seymour paused and asked her something he'd been meaning to ask her for a long time. "What about me?"
"We're just friends Seymour," she replied and looked to him, surprised. "You're almost like a brother to me."
Before leaving her and heading back to work, Seymour was sure to add what his heart told him to say. "I love you Audrey." He was almost about to leave when he felt a tap on his shoulder and found Audrey standing beside him.
She smiled and said, "I love you too."
Thinking of how much Audrey meant to him and how he knew they would have a great life together beyond the treachery of Skid Row made it become clearer to Seymour that he needed to do away with this monstrous plant… but how? He wasn't sure if it would be easier to destroy such a monstrous problem than it had been to create it.
The next morning, Mr. Mushnik arrived at the store early. He was still visibly shaken from the events of the previous night, having almost been eaten by a plant he had no idea could even have any appetite for human blood.
"Krelborn, are you up yet?"
Seymour rolled over and looked at his clock. Noticing what time it was, he immediately jumped out of bed.
"I am now sir… I'm on my way up."
When he reached the shop front, Seymour looked at his boss, at first not knowing what to say.
"Seymour, we need to have a talk… please come into the back room."
Seymour gulped and followed Mr. Mushnik. His boss was thinking deeply about his words at this point. He rubbed his knuckles against each other nervously, peeking out at the monster plant that he had a feeling was listening to them even now.
"Seymour, we have a problem on our hands."
"Yes, sir. I know."
Mushnik looked over to his employee, questioning. "How long have you known that Audrey Two fed on human blood?"
"Well, ever since you told me to work with it that first day I knew. I cut my finger and that's when I discovered how it liked blood." Seymour looked to his hands. "I'm sure you heard it speak last night… it spoke to me and told me to kill Orin."
"So you chopped him up and feed his remains to it?"
"Yes, sir."
Mr. Mushnik shook his head. "Seymour, I know you've worked long hours with this plant, but do realize what a danger to society it could be?"
"In the beginning I thought it would be totally harmless, but now…" He shuddered. "-yes I do sir."
"It's only a matter of time before it could hurt one of our customers," the old man said.
"I'm actually more concerned that it could ask me to kill Audrey next."
"-And you wouldn't want that to happen now would ya'?"
" No sir!" Seymour answered automatically.
Mr. Mushnik looked at his employee with a very serious look in eyes. "Seymour, we have no other choice than to kill Audrey Two."
Seymour nodded solemnly. "I know sir. But how can we do that? Audrey Two is not your typical weed as you can tell."
"We must figure out a creative way… aside from starving it."
There was silence between the two men after that. They knew that they had a lot of thinking to do ahead of them.
