Leader Sasuke

A/N: This is a VERY late sequel to Akatsuki Leader. I suggest you read that first. Or you can read this. But you'll be extremely confused to a point where you may need therapy.

Oh yeah. MAJOR OOC-NESS.

It also contains some traces of SasuNaru. Probably for crackish purposes.

Enjoy.


The Akatsuki was a little more interesting now. Sakura and Naruto were to stay because well, they had to. Because the evil author here said so. Sasuke was bored all the time, although Rai would read him princess fairytale stories.

Okay, not princess fairytale stories. More like horror stories. Which involved crazy stories about fangirls turning into murderous stalkers. Rai was still tiny, and she twitched a lot. Naruto would have strange emotional breakdowns, and Sakura would become sarcastic. Observe what the tea has done to them.

Sasuke had grown to love the shiny tiara on his head, and he loved the power. Naruto had given the coleslaw to Sasuke and the boy reluctantly ate it. He threw up shortly afterwards, because Naruto had put a cockroach in it. But he didn't have to know that. Naruto just told him he included a very crunchy ingredient in the coleslaw.

Anyways, Naruto was one day summoned by the awesome lord. "Come, Naruto," said the greatness, "You shall be my personal slave." Naruto gaped at him in a what-the-fuck-you-fucking-bastard way. But, there was no questions asked.

But that wasn't the end. Sasuke then summoned Sakura. She bowed before him, and then the lord spoke to her. "You shall be my court jester!" He threw her three juggling balls (don't be thinking wrong) and motioned her to go away.

"But—" started the pink haired kunoichi, but was cut off immediately.

"No buts." The girl sighed and walked away. 'But I can't juggle…'

These arrangements were made, and Naruto was traumatized. But, he felt a lot better when he saw tea around the corner. "The TEA!!!!!!" he cried out in frenzy happiness. He ran towards the cup of tea and quickly downed it.

There was coincidently another cup after another and he drank it all. 'Hmm… The tea tastes slightly different,' he thought, but he minded none.

Minutes later…

"Lord Sasuke!" cried Rai scrambling toward the awesomely pink chair on the verge of tears, "Naruto… Naruto is…" She gasped for breath from the running. Sasuke's eyes widened. What's happened to Naruto? If something happened to Naruto, his personal slave would be gone! He would not tolerate this!

"Why, what happened?" he asked frantically. "He—" she started, but was cut off by the said blond.

"Sasuke-teme…" Naruto groaned out, and staggered toward the leader. His face was flushed and red; his eyes were hazy and dull. "He seemed to have consumed a certain amount of," Rai paused for a dramatic effect, "Sake."

The world gasped.

Naruto being diagnosed as a sake-drunk ninja, he stood dizzily before Sasuke. "Teme!" he called out again and was only inches away from the chair. The blond giggled and jumped on Sasuke's lap.

O.O

"I like you." The leader was startled for his slave to say something like so, but he put on a calm face. And feverishly (because he was drunk) Naruto kissed the Akatsuki leader.

Which happened to be Sasuke.

Sasuke's eyes widened. This was the third kiss in his life with the same person each time. Rai's jaw dropped and her eyes filled with shock. While their kiss continued, Itachi walked in saying, "Here's the tea you ordered, Sas—"

But he didn't finish his sentence because of the sight before him. His ingenious younger brother making out with his blond teammate… was just… HOT. He immediately dropped the tea, causing it to clank to the floor. He couldn't help but stare.

To everyone's dismay, they broke the kiss, going back to their daily lives except for Naruto who fell unconscious mumbling something about "Mr. Pebblestoned." Sakura came in for a visit who happened to see Naruto's unconscious body being dragged towards a door, but shrugged it off.

"I am here to entertain you, Sasuke-sama," she spoke with a sarcastic tone, feeling this was totally not cool. She had learned how to juggle, and it was pretty easy. When she was about to start, Sasuke mumbled, "Go away you foolish woman. I need some time alone." And with that, she was dismissed.

Sasuke pondered about the wonderful moment of bliss he and his teammate shared. He felt so confused, I mean, what was this feeling he had in the pit of his stomach? Surely it meant something. Hopefully it wasn't nausea.

I think it's called being gay, said a little voice in his head, Oh, definitely, Uchiha. I knew it all along.

His eyes widened and he looked all about. Rai had left along with Naruto to a door he didn't know about. He had heard some nightmarish screams, but he didn't make much of it. Then, out of nowhere, a little version of himself in a devil costume popped upon his right shoulder.

"…Goddamn it, the stupid tail… Hello, little man. Do you realize your feelings now?" asked the devilish looking Sasuke, sounding rather evil and manly.

Stop! Don't listen to that despicable little rat! He's playing with your mind, that's all, said another voice which happened to belong to a lighter tone of his own voice.

A moment later, another miniature version of himself in a white dress with wings appeared on his left shoulder. "Stupid panty hose… No! You are NOT homosexual, I could tell you that. Every kiss gives off an illusion of some sort if vaguely put."

Sasuke was dazed from these two figures. But, he brushed off the fact that they were there and started thinking.

Sure, he's never dated a girl or really talked to one except Sakura and well… Rai. But that didn't explain anything! So, what if his first, second, and third kiss was a guy? That happens commonly, right? And also, what if he and Naruto spent most of their time training to get closer to one another?

That doesn't say a single thing!

Yes, the Uchiha had some dreams about the two of them, but that was just a dream! Of course he felt the deep disgust when he even thought about dating a girl—

Sasuke gasped and covered his slightly parted mouth. "So little man, did you realize your true identity?" asked the miniature devil of Sasuke. The angel Sasuke crossed his/her arms and fumed. "He is NOT gay!" he/she yelled right back.

The red costumed figure rolled his eyes and spat back, "Oh right. He's straight and I suppose YOU'RE straight too, right?" Their "friendly" conversation went on, and Sasuke was still stupefied from his realization. Not noticing the yelling until later on, he finally cut them off. "Ok! Ok! I get it now. You guys can go…" And with that, they both disappeared.


"Are you sure he's ok?" asked Sakura with a worried face.

"Oh, he's fine. He had couple cups of sake, that's all," said Rai with intense apathy.

Sakura glared at the smaller girl and then replied sharply, "Not Naruto. I meant Sasuke-kun. He was talking to himself. Saying stuff like, 'Ok! Ok!' I mean, that could be a big problem."

Rai shrugged, and watched Naruto from a distance. He was still dizzy and groaning, but that's what one would call a hangover. He was still a minor and had sake. Poor thing.

Anyways, forget about the little people there. Let's take a look at the real members of the Akatsuki. Itachi was gossiping about his little brother and his so called teammate. "And so, he was making out with him! Can you believe it?" Deidara grinned and then replied to his information. "I think that's cool… yeah."

Kisame was smiling which of course, looked like an evil smirk. Zetsu was switching voices again and again. A moment or two passed, and Itachi spoke up again, "You know what else? It's so weird because it was such a turn-on." Everyone stared for a while, but shrugged it off.

Sasuke then all of the sudden burst into the room, and shouted, "I swear, Itachi! I will kill YOU!!!!!!"

Then BOOM.

We don't know what happen to the condom, because the cat ate it. Yeah. Blame it on the cat. Damnit.

After moments later…

Saving a Cell Phone – If your cell phone ever takes a dive into a tub or a beverage, follow these tips to revive it.

Sooner or later every cell phone goes in the drink. For some it may be the bathtub, for others a glass of scotch. For many, the toilet. (No need to explain.)

Hey, you spent hundreds of dollars on that handset, so it's understandable that you might decide to attempt to rescue it. But how?

Oh wait. Wrong story article… Thing… Yeah.

"Arr, matey!" yelled Naruto in his poor pirate accent. Sasuke didn't seem very amused, but still watched him anyway. Sakura sighed, and wondered what she had done wrong to deserve hell. The three were currently in the room in which Sasuke had his pink throne.

Rai walked into the said area.

"I am your father," she said darkly, looking very serious about this matter.

"…What?" asked Sasuke, unsure of her words.

"Nothing," she replied, quickly turning silent.

At a randomly quiet moment she yelled dramatically, "WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! I AM YOUR FUCKING FATHER!"

Then she ran out.


A/N: This fanfiction is on crack. I know, don't tell me, they're EXTREMELY OOC.

Credit the "Saving Your Phone" thing to Yahoo! because I got part of the article from there. THANK YOU, YAHOO!!

Please review.