Starting From Scratch

Chapter One

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"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country." – Anais Nin

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Six Months Later

Even when a person needs time alone, they desperately want someone to share in the loneliness. When they're hurt, they want others to hurt. When they're sad, they want others to be sad. For some, seeing people that aren't going through the same thing is like pouring salt on a wound, while for others it's a hope for the future. Some prefer to be surrounded by people who feel just like them, to know that they're not alone. Some find that one person who understands them and what they've gone through and cling to them like a lifesaver. Others push that person away, in hopes that they can pretend that what they're feeling will simply vanish in time. There are stages to pain, to letting go, to moving on, to everything. Even to falling in love.

"Mark? Have you seen my sneaker? Those ones I bought last we— Never mind, I found them," Meredith shouted from her room as she bent low beside the monstrous bed.

"It was under the bed, wasn't it?" he called back, his voice full of mirth.

"No!" she lied, her tone indignant.

"Lying isn't very nice, Grey. Especially to your landlord and boss," he replied, becoming louder as he approached her room.

While pulling her shoe on, she looked up to see him leaning against the doorframe, a cup of coffee in one hand and a smug smirk on his face. "Roommate, not landlord, and you're only my boss when we're actually at work. Right now, I'm on my own time," she told him, smiling to herself before she was distracted by a chunk of her hair slipping out of her ponytail to fall against her cheek.

"You've got five minutes of your own time left, then your boss and roommate is leaving you to your own devices," he told her, lifting a cocky brow before turning around and walking back down the hallway, his shoes echoing over the hardwood floor.

"Oh come on!" she exclaimed, huffing. "Mark, you said you didn't have to be in for another two hours!" she shouted, pulling herself up from the floor and walking out of the room to follow him into the main living area. Their apartment was spacious and furnished in expensive but not ugly or angular furniture. It was comfortable and welcoming, despite being a highrise apartment that he'd originally made into the ultimate bachelor pad. She watched him slide into his favourite armchair and lean back, his coffee being set down on the table between his chair and the large black couch. His hand immediately picked up the New York Times and his attention was distracted from her entirely. "I thought I had time for a run in the park," she sighed, falling against the arm of the couch and looking over at him imploringly.

Mark sighed, his eyes leaving the paper. "Grey, we talked about this running in the park thing a million times. New York is not the safest place to be jogging around with nobody to keep an eye on you. You're like ninety pounds, if somebody turns on you, what are you going to do? Show them your doe eyes and hope they take pity?" he grumbled. One thing she learned quickly was that Mark was not a morning person. He wasn't close to sociable until his third cup of coffee and even then he was pretty mean. She found it rather endearing, actually.

Rolling her eyes, Meredith replied, "I'm more than ninety pounds and I can take care of myself. If you don't think so, then you can always come running with me," she told him, lifting a challenging brow.

"You wouldn't be able to keep up," he said, his eyes returning to his paper.

Huffing, she shook her head. "You never answered my question. Why are we going in now?"

"We have to drop in at Allen Pavilion hospital before we head into work. I'm needed on a consult and then we can head over to the office," he said, sipping from his coffee before making a sour face. "Remind me never to let you do the coffee the night before again."

"Why?" she asked indignantly before taking it out of his hand and sipping it. "Never mind," she said, her nose scrunching. "Do we have time to stop at Starbucks before we go to AP?"

Folding his paper up, he nodded as he rose from his chair. "I'll wait in the car, you can make the run in," he said, sounding almost jovial as he walked to the sink to pour the coffee out.

Meredith met him at the door, taking their shared set of keys off the hook and slipping her arms into her jacket. While she pulled her hair out from being stuck beneath the collar, Mark adjusted the top to fit over her shoulders. They walked out of the apartment and she turned to lock the door, but paused as she always did as he checked his pockets over once more to make sure he had everything. "You good?" she asked him, holding the door open an inch still.

"Yeah," he said, nodding absently as he checked his watch.

Nodding, Meredith closed the door, locked it tight and then walked over to match his gait on their way to the elevator. His hand lifted, palm up, waiting for the keys as he searched the back right pocket of his pants for his wallet. She handed him the keys and watched as his brow furrowed while he checked the inside pockets of his coat, frowning. Rolling her eyes, she lifted the back of his coat and pulled his wallet out from the back pocket of his pants he hadn't checked. "Every morning," she muttered, shaking her head as a small smile formed.

"It's not every morning," he objected, glaring at her from the corner of his eyes. "At least I know where my shoes are!"

Crossing her arms, Meredith lifted her brow and dropped her mouth open in mock surprise. "A few times, that was it!"

"A few times? Try every time we have to go out! You remember dinner last week with Jared and his wife? We were a half hour late because you didn't know where the strappy black things were!" he reminded, nodding smugly as they walked out of the elevator and across the main hall, waving automatically at the guard manning the door.

"Seriously!? Do you remember after dinner? How you couldn't find your wallet at the end to pay?" she said, her eyes widening for emphasis. "He probably thought you were a cheapskate!"

"I did find it though," he said, frowning as he pushed the button on the keychain to their new car to unlock the doors.

"No, I found it. In the same place you always put it but never check," she said, sliding into the passenger seat and waiting for him to get comfortable before picking up where they left off. "I don't know why it's so hard. It's the left pocket. You're left handed, you put it in the back left pocket every time. But still, you always check the right and ignore the left!"

Mark sighed in exasperation. "From now on, I'll just wait for you to dig it out, how about that?"

"It'll save us some time," she replied, nodding.

Mark mimicked her under his breath, pulling out of the parking lot and directing the car to the nearest Starbucks. They fiddled around with the radio for awhile, per their usual routine. He liked listening to the traffic report and news, while she enjoyed listening to soft rock. They usually ended up on the channel that had a middle ground, playing them both equally, but they still played with the radio each morning, wanting to listen to their favourite instead of settling. Over the six months they'd spent living together, they'd created a comfortable routine between them. It wasn't all smooth sailing, but Meredith didn't think she could enjoy a future morning unless it was filled with how they usually were. She'd grown quite attached to Mark being in her life and while many of their colleagues and friends had assumed they were together, they always told them they were just friends. And they were, despite the fact that they often acted like an old married couple and knew each others mannerisms as if they'd been around each other for years.

"You want the raspberry mocha again?" he asked her as he pulled into a newly empty parking spot across from their favourite java shop. He opened his door a bit as she nodded and then turned back again. "Chocolate chip cookie or banana muffin?" he asked, lifting a brow.

She bit her lip, her eyes turning up as she gave the offer all her thought. "What are you getting?" she finally asked.

"Banana muffin," he replied, a slow, knowing smirk appearing.

"Cookie it is then," she said, nodding.

"Way to be predictable, Grey," he said before climbing out and crossing the street carefully.

He always threatened to make her get the coffee and snack each morning but ended up doing it himself. She wasn't sure why, but she wasn't complaining. While he was inside, she tried to remember which patient he had booked for that afternoon. She thought it might be the bleach blonde fifty-something that wanted a third facelift, but it could be the twenty-something man looking to get his nose shaved down a bit because it was inhibiting his breathing. She didn't like how selfish Plastics could be, but she did enjoy Mark's teachings and there were a number of consults and interesting cases that Mark got regularly. Since she was his esteemed resident she got to come along for every surgery he did. Scrubbing in with one of the most highly sought plastic surgeons in the world had an effect on most other doctors they worked with and Meredith had noticed the envy in some faces. She knew Alex probably would have done anything to be in the position she was; before the whole Addison thing anyway. She hadn't had a set career goal in mind; she wasn't like Cristina or Izzie, she was waiting for something to really open her mind and pull her in. Plastics wasn't where she saw herself being, but sometimes, when they helped someone regain their face after an accident or gave a breast cancer patient the closest thing to normality, she knew that there were upsides to her career.

Her phone rang loudly in her pocket and she was startled out of her thoughts. Mark would be a few more minutes, so she pulled her cell out and smiled briefly as she saw Cristina's name blinking out at her. Flipping it open she chuckled under her breath, "Hey. You know it's not even seven yet, right?"

"Whatever. Like you weren't up. You and McSteamy are out of the apartment before six most mornings. You didn't call last night," she reminded, annoyed. Before Meredith could reply, she continued. "He's back. Burke. He's back. He's in his office, drinking his coffee, sitting in his chair, acting like everything is normal. It's not normal, Meredith."

"Have you talked to him?" she wondered, her eyes wide with surprise. She didn't think Burke would come back, not for a long while, and if he did she expected him to be a lot less… fake. She thought he'd meet Cristina head on, maybe talk to her, work things out. But Cristina sounded almost hysterical, definitely angry, and Meredith knew nothing good could come from it. If she were still in Seattle, she'd be wishing she could be far from the drama, but since she was in New York, all she could do was feel sorry for her best friend and thank Mark for taking her away from it all before the shit hit the fan.

"Seriously? What do you think? Of course I haven't! Did you not just hear what I said? He's in his office, Mer, pretending like nothing happened. Like he didn't walk out on our wedding! What am I supposed to do?" she asked, her voice rising.

"Talk to him?" she asked, lifting her brows in question.

"Oh that's easy for you to say. You don't have to worry about your jerk of an ex showing up and pretending nothing happened. You're off living the high life with his ex best friend!" she exclaimed, muttering a few obscenities under her breath. "I'll ignore him! I mean how hard can it- Crap, there he is. Gotta—" She hung up and Meredith was left frowning at the phone in her hand. Her attention was drawn away as the driver side door opened and Meredith took the brown bag and drinks from Mark's hands.

He settled into his seat, taking the coffee out of the cup holder she'd placed it in a moment before and took a sip. "Now that is coffee," he told her, smirking mischievously.

Rolling her eyes, Meredith sipped her own hot drink and broke off a piece of her cookie as she listened to him mutter about the traffic while manoeuvring back onto the road.

"Give me a bite of that," he told her, motioning to the cookie as he glanced at her, taking his eyes off the road without concern. She broke off his usual half and since his hands were full, fed him half of it and held onto the other half until he asked for it. She nibbled on hersand reminded him that the nurses were planning a mini surprise party for Clarice, the bubbly secretary.

"Why do I have to get her a gift? I sign her checks every couple weeks, isn't that enough?" he grumbled, licking the drops of coffee off his lips and looking over at her. "Why do I still employ her anyway? Nobody should be that peppy so early in the morning!"

"That's just because you're a crab in the morning," she told him, shaking her head.

"I am not," he muttered, sipping more of his coffee. "So what are we getting her then?"

"She keeps hinting that she wants a nice pair of heels to wear outside of work. We could get her a gift certificate for a shoe store around here," Meredith suggested, lifting a shoulder.

"Shoes? If anyone asks, it was all your idea. I don't want to be known as that guy who gets women shoes on their birthday. How many people do we employ? Birthdays are gonna be hell on my savings account," he muttered, lifting a brow.

She snorted, "Seriously? You are so full of it. You love being part of all this birthday stuff." She ignored the "we" he often threw out when discussing work, as if the practice was half hers. No wonder so many thought they were married, they talk as if their equals in everything. She wondered why her stomach jumped with excitement at the idea. It wasn't as if Mark was an unappealing person. In fact, ever since having moved in with him and spending time with him, he'd become one of her closest 'persons'. He'd never be Cristina, but he was as close to her as anyone could get. He was a whole other type of person, she guessed. They shared a similar problem when it came to life and they were dealing with it in the same way. They'd given up on the one-night stand thing and were now just biding their time, relearning themselves and looking towards a future that hopefully won't be so dark and twisty.

"Before you came out here, they never expected gifts and shoes, you know," he told her plainly. Despite his feigned dislike for anything resulting in him looking like a nice, caring guy he actually was beneath the cocky persona he held up.

"Aren't you happy I came out then?" she replied, smiling at him and holding up the other half of his cookie. He frowned at her, a glimmer in his eye that told her he was, and opened his mouth to accept the peace offering cookie, chewing it happily.

A half hour later they were parked at Allen Pavilion hospital and walking toward the double glass doors where a team of doctors were waiting for them. "Why are you being called in? AP doesn't usually dabble in plastic surgery," she said, looking up at him as he held the door open for her.

"Kid just got through brain surgery after a car accident. He was disfigured, so they called me in to see if it's fixable," he told her, throwing away the empty brown paper bag as he held his banana muffin up and dangled it in front of Meredith's face teasingly.

Meredith motioned her cup at him, smiling as he frowned. He'd finished off his coffee fifteen minutes prior and now he was itching for more caffeine. "Halfsies," he said, reaching for her drink.

"We were already going halfsies! That muffin is half mine. What else are you offering?" she asked, holding her drink out of reach.

"If I do the surgery, I'll let you in," he said, smirking as he held the muffin out of her reach while still trying to grab the coffee in her hand.

"Mark, I'd be in on it anyway. I always am," she replied, her hand finally getting the muffin away from him, only to hear his triumphant "hah!" as he too managed to get the coffee from her. He smiled smugly down at her and sipped from the raspberry mocha drink happily. Rolling her eyes, Meredith took a large bite out of the banana muffin and they continued walking ahead, not realizing they'd just passed the group of interns that were interested in learning about the plastic surgeon called in for a consult.

"Mer mar vee meeting tim?" she mumbled through the muffin in her mouth.

Mark glanced at her briefly, shrugging. "I'm sure he'll show up eventually."

"You didn't ask, did you?" she said, smiling.

Mark passed her back the coffee as she held his muffin out to him. "He could have suggested a place," he said defensively. "I'm the expert being called in; I shouldn't have to be the one asking."

"Reign in the ego, almighty one," she said, shaking her head.

Mark snorted, smirking to himself. A few nurses smiled in his direction, but he was distracted by the large white board on the wall stating the surgeries to be done. "Déjà vu much?" he said, looking over to her as he leaned against the nurses desk.

Meredith moved to stand next to him, sighing. "Do you miss it at all?"

He didn't answer right away, his arm falling around her shoulders comfortably. "I didn't belong there."

"You could have. People just didn't let you try," she told him, her arm lifting to wrap around his waist, forgetting where they were.

"New York's more my style and pace. I'm not missing the rain," he said, smirking down at her.

She nodded slowly, though some part of her missed Seattle, she was happy in New York. "I like it here," she declared, smiling. "The company could be better, of course."

He snickered, his arm dragging her a little closer in a hug. "I know what you mean," he said teasingly.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, laughter ringing in her voice.

"Doctor Sloan?" a deep, older voice called out.

Separating, Meredith and Mark turned to meet the man who was obviously the chief of surgery there at Allen Pavilion. He already had his hand out and a grim expression bore only after many years of health care on his face. "Dr. Amory," he greeted. "This is my resident, Dr. Grey."

Meredith shook the older man's hand, reminded of Chief Webber back in Seattle. Within moments, the three of them were walking down the hall toward the patient's room. Meredith listened closely to the conversation between the two doctors, feeling a pang of remorse for the five year old boy who was already going through something so life changing. His parents were killed in the crash and the young boy wasn't looking so good. He had emergency surgery done on his brain when there was bleeding and heavy swelling, but he wasn't looking so good after everything. She didn't have to stifle a gasp, like most normal people would, when she saw him. She was far too used to the bruising, swelling, and abnormal shaping that ruined the poor boys face. All her years as Ellis's daughter and then as a doctor herself, she'd seen enough not to react.

Forty-five minutes later, Mark was shaking Dr. Amory's hand and assuring him that he and Meredith would be back within the next two days to talk to the young boy, whose name she learned was Coby Smith, about what would be done and how he'd look. Meredith hung around outside the room, waiting for Mark as he finished talking to Amory about his practice and stint in Seattle. Obviously the chief was feeling him out to see if the reason Mark left Seattle was because he preferred his practice rather than a hospital, in hopes of possibly recruiting him and adding a plastics department to the hospital. Mark wasn't interested, Meredith knew. He loved his private practice and preferred a place that was run on far less nurse gossip and drama. While she waited, she noticed a cluster of people trying to act as if they weren't looking at her and Mark every few seconds. She could tell from their age and look that they were interns and thought of her own time as one back in Seattle, wondering how her friends were doing. Talking to Cristina wasn't the same as being there with them all. She hadn't gotten a hold of George, Izzie, or Alex, they were too busy with their own drama and while she felt bad for it, she just didn't feel like dealing with all that came with calling them just yet.

The interns were bickering amongst each other, trying to figure out which one of them should approach her, she noticed. She smiled briefly, amused at their actions. There were three guys and two girls and all of them were horrible at pretending they weren't staring. She thought momentarily of just walking over and introducing herself, but then decided to let them squirm. They'd have to grow a backbone sometime, it was best to leave them to do it without her help. Not everybody would be so amused by them, but instead offended. They'd learn. One of them finally broke away from the group; a good looking guy that reminded her rather of Alex, with short dark hair and a winning grin. He walked toward her with a confident gait, despite the fact that he'd been just as hesitant in talking to her a little while ago. He was almost upon her when Mark appeared by her side, his hand falling to the small of her back and directing her away from the intern and toward the exit. Meredith noticed the scowl on Mark's face and assumed it was because Amory tried to recruit him.

As they passed the unknown intern, he looked up at Mark and then over at Meredith, awe and curiosity in his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it as Mark looked at him, discouraging icy blue eyes glaring into him until he faltered and backed up a step.

"Don't be so mean, Mark," Meredith chastised, though laughter resonated in her voice.

"I hate interns," he muttered, shaking his head.

"You realize you were one once, right?" she asked, lifting a brow.

"Never," he disagreed, his scowl lifting into a smug smirk.

"Seriously, your ego could smother a person," she told him, breaking away and moving to stand a few feet from him dramatically.

Laughing, he shook his head at her. "You love my ego, Grey. Just admit it. All women do." He pulled his McSteamy face, looking smug and just as attractive as ever.

Snorting, Meredith rolled her eyes. "Immune," she told him, pointing a finger for emphasis.

Grinning, Mark held the door open for her and followed her outside.

To be continued...


A/N I've already got chapter two and nearly all of chapter three finished, but I'm going away for two weeks, so I won't be able to update until then. I might be able to get a friend to do it, but I'm not sure. I'll try and update earlier. Hope you enjoyed it. Review, please!