Izzy stood tall and did her damnedest not to let on. She was broken inside, again. This was far from the first time she had lost someone, but someone in her cluster? That was something else entirely. The first member they had lost had been awful. No amount of joined knowledge and skills could save you from the firing squad. Soon after that another member of their cluster had killed themselves, though Izzy was still numb from the first.

Phil though- she pressed her lips together. Phil. He was Phil. Sweet, teasing, dorky Phil. He had always been so bright. Now he was gone.

"Tori?" She found herself in the Hub, standing behind one of her only cluster members that remained. "Tori?"

"We've got a job to do Izzy." Victoria muttered coldly, forcing herself too to keep standing. "You more than the rest of us. The Avengers need to make this worth it."

"It's not worth it." Melinda mumbled from the ground. "Nothing is worth this, not again."

"Melinda, get up." Victoria and Melinda had used to butt heads a lot, their matching stubborn personalities clashing. "It definitely won't be worth it if you don't fight."

"I lost them!" Melinda hissed, "Don't you get it? I LOST them! I lost Phil."

The other two women froze, barely understanding what Melinda meant, but alarms were blaring in three locations at once, as well as wind roaring past Izzy's face and gunfire from outside Victoria's door. "We can't do this now." Izzy said urgently. "We can't lose anyone else, got it? We're on a mission."

Melinda stood, tall and rigid. Missions she could do. Missions were what she did. "Let's go then." She said firmly, and she disappeared.

Izzy forced herself back to the helicarrier. This was a mess to fix. A battle to win. For Coulson.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Skye snagged one of the sandwiches from the clueless kid working the back in the cafe, and ducked back into her van. He was about to throw them away anyway, she told the kid, and hey, Skye knew exactly the kind of smile to shoot that guy to get what she wanted. Living on the streets for a good few years now had taught her a few tricks.

She sat down on the roll up mattress and pile of pillows she called a bed, munching on her stale sandwich. No progress on SHIELD's mainframe, even though they were all distracted by aliens falling from the sky.

Instead Skye had decided to use her skills diverting funds from some kind of right-wing political campaign to the New York fire department, as well as making a few anonymous donations towards rebuilding the city from some unwitting philanthropists. They would need it.

Now the sun had gone down and it was getting dark quickly. Skye knew that her little battery powered lamp wouldn't last too long, so she kicked off her shoes and shod her bra, curling up under her pile of bed once she had triple checked that her van door was properly locked.

She closed her eyes, willing sleep to come. When Skye drew her next breath though, it felt dusty.

She coughed.

When Skye opened her eyes, she wasn't in her van any more.

She was in some windowless room that was filled with dust and old filing cabinets. She pushed herself into a sitting position to look around. What the hell?

There was a woman, Skye noticed. Curled up into a ball on the other side of the room. "Hello?"

The woman looked up. She was crying, Skye noticed. When their eyes made contact, she snapped back, and she was back in her blanket nest in her van.

Skye shook herself. She had weird dreams when she was half asleep.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"What do you mean, you lost them?!"

"What do you think I mean Izzy?" They probably shouldn't be doing this now.

"How can you lose a cluster?"

"Well when you're being stabbed it's hard to keep track!" Melinda snapped.

All of a sudden the fight in both of them was lost. Their arms sagged at their sides and their faces fell.

"What are we gonna do?" Izzy asked, eyes on the floor.

"I don't know." Melinda mumbled, tears creeping from her eyes. "He-" She tried again, "He'd want us to find them."

"How many did you see?"

"I don't know." Melinda admitted. "Three- maybe four." She swallowed. "I can't see them now."

"It'll come." Izzy didn't know how Phil did it. The pang was back, the absolute darkness where his presence once had been. "Mel-" Without taking a step their arms were wrapped around each other, Tori joining them a moment later. None said a word. There was no need. Thoughts, emotions, wishes, the sheer wrongness of this whole thing overcame them. Their group hugs had felt too small for years. Now it barely constituted a group.

"There was a lab." Melinda said softly. "SHIELD I think. The logos were on the beakers."

"Anything else?" Victoria asked softly.

"Some computer parts. Gears. Maybe a plane."

"Not much." Isabelle mumbled.

"We'll find out more." Tori said. "The longer it's open the more we'll know. Mel can find out more, and we only really need to find one of them."

"We don't even know how many there are." Melinda lamented.

"Eight's most common."

"With what happened?"

"Until we know more about that then we should assume there are eight." Victoria said firmly.

Izzy grimaced. "What about Peggy?"

"Best to try in person, with how she's been lately." Melinda said.

"I can search through the lab mainframe to see what I can find." Victoria offered.

"Finding the ones who are talking to themselves in sci-tech. Sure."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Leopold Fitz groaned in frustration when his questing hand couldn't find his three millimetre flathead screwdriver. "Where'd I leave the damn thing?" He muttered in frustration.

"Since you were working on Bashful yesterday, probably by him." His best friend's voice supplied patiently.

He smiled. "Thanks Simmons." Then he paused and turned. "Aren't you supposed to be assisting Doctor Newling with his research project today?"

Simmons took a step backwards, now looking around. "I- am. What are you doing here?"

"Here- this is our lab Jemma, what do you-"

Both were suddenly hit by a cold chill and instinctively moved closer together.

Jemma spotted the figure first, and stepped forwards despite Fitz's restraining arm. "Are you alright?" She asked, concerned.

Fitz glanced around, scuffing at a pile of dust with his shoe.

Melinda glanced up, and what she saw in that moment almost made her smile. There were two of them. Together. They wouldn't be alone.

Fitz jumped, finding himself back in his usual, well lit lab. He spun around. "Simmons?"

There was no response other than the snickering of other agents. He ignored them, instead opting to glance down at his shoe. Odd. It had felt very real, yet there was no trace of the dust.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Mel." A soft voice roused her. "It's time to go." She was curled up on the couch, having failed to find the motivation to even get a blanket from her bed.

"No." She mumbled stubbornly. "There's no point. I already know he's gone."

Tori appeared, furious, grabbing her arm. "For Gods sake Melinda, stop being selfish! Do you think Phil would want you to do this? Would he want you to sit here and feel sorry for yourself?"

Melinda swung around with her other arm, punching her in the nose. "Who cares?" She snarled, not reacting as Tori stumbled back. "Who cares what Phil would have wanted? He's gone Tori, it doesn't matter anymore!"

"That's enough!"

They stopped at the familiar voice. "Is this really what you've been reduced to? Violence in your own cluster?"

They all stared. Tori regained her voice first. "Peggy." She said shakily, "We-"

Peggy held up a hand. "I know. You have all been through this far too many times. But don't lose what little you have left. Clusters are made to be together."

A blink later she was gone. Tori sniffed, feeling her nose. "Peggy?" She called, but they both knew that they couldn't reach her.

Tori glanced at her hand, and was surprised to see no blood. Melinda hadn't been holding back, she could feel that. She looked back to her, realising what that meant.

Melinda felt her understanding and looked away. "I can't do it." She felt sick. "Tori- I-I can't get up."

Victoria swallowed, crouching beside her, suddenly feeling ashamed. "Come with me then." She whispered. "Let me in and I'll take you with me."

Even if she couldn't feel the fear through their connection, Tori would have seen it in her eyes. "I won't look. Do it for Phil, Melinda. More than anything he wanted you to let us in."

Melinda felt the bile rising in her throat. She wished she could. She wished she wasn't such a coward that she would rather protect herself, keep the others from seeing what she really was, than say goodbye to Phil. Rather lock herself away than do what he would have wanted her to do.

"Mel?" Izzy was there now, and she gently brushed her hand. "It's okay. We still love you." She tried to project it through their tiny cluster, but Melinda was as closed off as ever. She sighed. "We'll be there." She said, "If you change your mind."

Melinda was silent. She hated herself for it.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

It was a beautiful spring day. Birds sang, flowers bloomed, the sun shone, and there was a sweet smell in the air. Tori and Izzy stood side by side. "He would have liked this." Izzy murmured.

Tori watched the other agents going up to pay their respects. "He always loved spring."

"Season of new beginnings." Izzy murmured. "He never wanted to accept that things had to die in winter for spring to happen."

"Because he was a hero." Tori murmured, eyes fixed on the gravestone under the tree with the hanging leaves. "Idealistic idiot."

Both stiffened fractionally when they felt a consciousness gently nudging theirs. They knew that Melinda was visiting, but also knew that to acknowledge it would send her right back to wallowing in misery on her couch. "We need to find those kids." Tori murmured. "He wanted us to. So many of us have been dying."

"Doesn't take away the sting though." Izzy said, wishing that the pain would let her cry. They had lost so many people now. "Do you ever wish that we weren't... like this?"

Tori caught her eye. "No." She said firmly. "I wish they weren't like that."

Izzy made a weak attempt at a smile as Natasha and Clint approached them. "Hey." She greeted, feeling Melinda flicker away. "You guys okay?"

Clint's ever-present grin was conspicuously absent. "I mean, took down an alien invasion, but that's just par for the course, right?"

Natasha looked down. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect him." She murmured, getting right to the point.

Izzy swallowed. "It's okay Nat." She said, "It wasn't your fault."

Clint looked guilty, and Tori sighed. "It wasn't your fault either Hawkeye." She said, irritated. She didn't need them blaming themselves.

Natasha looked around. "Have you seen May? I thought she'd be here."

Tori shrugged. "I don't think she could face it." She lied smoothly. "You know she's not one for crowds."

"Still." Natasha looked so sad. "I thought she might come. For him." She couldn't quite bring herself to say his name. Clint's hand brushed hers, but she pulled away.

"It was just too much Nat." He murmured. "You know how much he meant to her."

She sighed. "I know. I just... wish we could do something. It's May. We owe her."

Izzy smiled. "Maybe you can. Just not today."

Clint looked to the headstone in the middle distance. The crowd was starting to disperse. "I'll see you guys at the wake." He muttered, walking towards the grave.

Natasha quietly followed.

"It'll be okay Izzy." Victoria murmured, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You know it will."

"I know." She sighed, looking at the grass. "I just wonder if it should be."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

It was dark when Melinda finally managed to get up. Her legs almost gave out from under her, but she managed to stumble to the closet and change her clothes. After taking a moment to ingest a protein bar, she pulled on her boots and went out the door, keeping her walls up, as usual.

It was a fresh evening, not cold, but not too warm either. The moon was half full, most of the stars blotted out by the streetlights. She walked onwards, not noticing the pain in her legs. She didn't stop when she reached the graveyard, she didn't stop as she scaled the fence, nor as she walked through the row upon row of graves she didn't recognise.

She only stopped when she came to the one she was looking for.

Phillip Coulson. It had, carved into the cold granite. Just the sight made her stomach turn. Phil wasn't granite. She was granite. She was unchangeable and grey. He was... bright, hopeful, idealistic. A hero.

A martyr.

She had known that all along, but Melinda had stupidly let herself think that it would be okay. Because he wasn't just Phil, he was her too. He had all of them, all of their skills, all of their knowledge. He couldn't just die.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, kneeling before the headstone. "Phil, I- this is all my fault." Tears burned her eyes and she forced them back. There was no point in crying. There was no point in apologising. Phil was dead. He couldn't hear her.

Melinda swallowed. "I'll find them." She said clearly. "I'll fix this, for you, but after that..." She wasn't sure. She just wanted it all to stop. Tori and Izzy and Phil, and everyone.Why couldn't they just leave her? It was better that way. She wasn't worth their caring about her.

She could feel Tori and Izzy trying to get in, and pushed back. They must noticed she wasn't at her apartment. They were worried, that much she could feel. It didn't matter. They knew she wouldn't end it. She hadn't after Bahrain, after her divorce, after they lost two members of their already undersized cluster. Why would she do it now?

'Please'

The word came over their connection, even breaking through her barriers. Phil?

'Please, don't.'

Melinda looked around. Was she going insane? Her head hurt, more than anything she'd ever felt before. What was happening? "Tori! Izzy!"

They appeared, both clutching their heads. "What the hell is going on?!" Izzy grunted, holding in a scream.

"I don't know!"

'Please let me die!'

"Phil?!"