Sirius was sitting in the library, reading a red book by the fire. It was now the beginning winter which meant that half of the Order had gone on missions for a couple of weeks-including Sylvia, Harrison and James. He didn't have much to do, much like Lily, as he didn't have Harrison to bother, Sylvia to slap him whenever he did then tease her and James to discuss personal details. What he could do was sit, wait, hope and worry for the other half to come back. Just like Frank Longbottom and Lily. Lily would occasionally come in to give him information on what was going on then talk to him about her heart nearly breaking whenever she doesn't hear or see James's name on the list first. Sirius would usually laugh and tease her about their younger days which Lily would turn slightly red to.

Today wasn't like that.

They were waiting for the other half to come back. They were waiting to see if the list was true; that they did live. Sirius would be the last to go in. Not because he was worried-he definitely was-but because he didn't want to have to see Frank's face fall when he didn't see Alice walk through the door. He didn't want to hear Lily when James didn't walk through the door halfway into the line.

He didn't want to see Harrison walk through the door at all.

The morning after he cheered Sylvia up, he found a small bruise on Sylvia's cheek when she was making breakfast for everyone. Breakfast that morning wasn't the best. Mainly due to the fact that he had stood up and punched Harrison, even though he didn't even know if he was responsible, as well as everything getting burnt. He just needed to take his anger out on someone. Later that day he found out that he had been suspended for a week because of the violence.

As he continued to sit in the library, he heard the door crack open along with cheers from people downstairs. Looking away from the book, he found Sylvia in a condition that he thought he would never see her in. She looked like she had been tortured for several years with all the burn marks, bruise, cuts, scabs and even filth on her body.

But she was alive.

She gave him a lazy smile and limped her way over to him before sitting next to him on the settee. The feeling of her sitting there, next to him, made his heart jump. If she gave him a smile then he was sure that there weren't casualties that would affect everyone. He watched as she slumped into the settee then rested her head on his shoulder.

"They're strong," he heard Sylvia laugh but her voice quietened down when she said, "they're so damn strong." He didn't want to know if she had been tortured but he knew. He knew what happened. It was evident. But he didn't want to hear it from her lips.

Or from James.

"It was fun then?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair. He felt her shuffle in discomfort but settled down. Knowing where the boundaries were for him with Sylvia was like knowing when to see Snape's good side.

"Hardly, Sirius."

"I thought it was. You look like-"

"Padfoot!" Sylvia laughed but started coughing mid-way through. It was like a breath of fresh air when she called him that. It had been a while since she had done. He smiled to himself, looking down at Sylvia who had regained her composure.

"What happened to Hairy?"

"Hairy?" she asked, looking up at him with her blood-shot, brown eyes. He surveyed her face, catching every detail that wasn't there before. There were bags under her eyes, cuts and bruises were framing her face, dried blood and mud was masking her face slightly and her nose was rather crooked. So much for staying safe.

"Harrison. I've given him a nickname and you can't change that," Sirius announced. Sylvia raised an eyebrow then shook her head. He didn't want her to know why he had suddenly decided to nickname him that but it looked like she wasn't going to stop him from doing so.

For the next half an hour, Sylvia was explaining to Sirius, with his anger rising by the second, about what had happened during the Order's raid as well as what had happened to half of the squad. It sickened him to hear what the Death Eater's did to them and how they took them away from the group. It ranged from Crucio curses to actual muggle-like torture or pain (it shocked Sirius when she mentioned it but he saw Sylvia rub her stomach slightly, making him frown) which Sylvia and five others had to be put through. It rocked him a lot more that she didn't go to the full extent of saying where she was hurt the most. However she went on to explain that Harrison had gotten caught, along with Alice and several other members, as they were trying to get them back then James getting incredibly hurt when they were escaping. By the end of the explanation, Sirius was more than ready to hunt down the Death Eaters and rip them to shreds.

Or at least put them through mild pain.

That was all changed when she finally told him the extent of everyone's injuries.

"They may be partying down there right at this moment but they don't know the extent of everyone's injuries. We were supposed to come back three days ago but we were in Saint Mungo's. You should have seen Alice, Remus, Fabian and Benjy. Merlin, it was like...I can't explain it. Their blood was everywhere. I was just there, forced to watch them. Until it was my turn-"

She suddenly stopped talking.

Sirius didn't respond to the silence but curled his fingers into a fist, his nails digging into his palm. He couldn't talk because he was worried that instead of his lips moving, his fist would do the moving. However, Sirius was surprised when he felt Sylvia's hand wrap around his fist. He felt her pry his hand open, with much resistance from his part, until she could quickly insert her hand into his. She squeezed it gently, sighing. Sylvia didn't do much comforting anymore because all the problems surrounding Voldemort, Harrison and Sirius counted himself in it as well. She had been all about, running from place to place. Always, somehow, running from something. This had been the first time she had done that since leaving Hogwarts.

Not that he really cared about how she comforts people or how often she does.

But he sort of actually did.


Sylvia had her head on Harrison's chest that evening, staring up at the ceiling as Harrison ran his fingers through her hair. Neither had talked to each other since watching each other endure pain but just comforted each other. Harrison hadn't talked to Rebecca since explaining what had happened and Sylvia hadn't seen Sirius since leaving the library. After their fight a couple of weeks back, both had cut down on how much they saw Rebecca and Sirius.

But she couldn't shake off a weird feeling. The weird feeling that when she left, Rebecca would suddenly come in and take her spot for the night then leave later. The weird feeling that she couldn't trust Harrison anymore. Everything was okay though. They hadn't gotten into any fights during the past few weeks. Harrison would only talk to Rebecca if it was urgent. He would really let her out of his sight until she was captured. Sylvia was always around Harrison. It's just like whenever Sirius was around other girls in Hogwarts.

Turning around to face Harrison, she found him staring hard at the ceiling. She was worried about him, more so than usual. She lifted herself and pressed her lips against Harrison's which Harrison responded to immediately. He tangled his fingers in her hair, nipping at her bottom lip every so often. Harrison's free hand wandered to the bottom of her shirt and started lifting it up until Sylvia could feel his warm hand on the small of her back. Flipping them over, Harrison pulled away as Sylvia wrapped her legs around his waist.

"What's the matter?" she asked softly looking straight into his eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair. Harrison shook his head which made her roll in eyes in response. She hated it when he never replied to any of her questions. It was like he was keeping secrets from her when she told him everything. She repeated the question, making Harrison sigh.

"Raid." Sylvia instantly understood him.

"We're alive though. Everyone is."

"That doesn't change the fact that I couldn't stop them when it was-"

"It doesn't matter. No one could blame you. None of us saw it coming."

"Of course it matters and they will blame me."

"You would be suspended for weeks if they blamed you for it. Or even killed. James could have done the same." Harrison looked at her coldly then turned away, making Sylvia sigh. He made her wind up so much whenever it came to his mistakes. But she couldn't scream at him, telling him that he wasn't going to do well as a leader when it came down to it because he would do well as a leader. He handled it better than most people did when the Death Eaters came in and took people. He actually worked with James, nearly getting everyone back but his spell missed the Death Eaters by millimetres.

"I couldn't save you. I bet Sirius-"

"Bull, Harrison." Sylvia watched as Harrison looked back at her. "You did."

"It doesn't change any-" Sylvia cut him off by pressing her lips against Harrison's again. She didn't know what feelings were behind this kiss but something was there. The hand behind her back went to the zip of her jeans. He was about to unzip her pants when they heard a knock at the door. Harrison quickly rolled off of her then stood up, walking to the door. Sylvia raised herself up by using her elbows, pulling a face at Harrison as he stopped at the door, not bothering to tidy himself up. It angered her that he wouldn't ignore the person.

What got her the most though was that it was the first time that had ever happened.

When the door opened, she could see the familiar blonde. Her anger rising by the second, she jumped off of the bed, grabbing her coat then walked to the door. She sneered at the blonde haired, green eyed young woman. The blonde raised an eyebrow at her then ignored her as she continued to speak to Harrison. What came out of her mouth nearly made her leap at her.

"I can't wait for later, seriously. It'll be amazing you-" Sylvia cut off the blonde by ramming her way past the two with Harrison calling her back. Just when she thought that things couldn't get any worse, they did. It always came back to her. The suspicions always were about her. She hated her with as much hate as she had for Peter.

She was sitting at the table, petting the grey owl on the stand that belonged to James, while looking at the letters that were stolen from the Death Eater's base. All of them had nothing but gibberish sentences. It didn't make sense and she couldn't pull out any clues from the letters at all. There wasn't a secret message that she could pull out and two of the letters were just plain, nothing behind them. She pulled her hand away from the owl and flipped the letters over, distancing themselves. Eyebrows joining together, she looked at the seventh letter out of eleven to find it with an image. Lifting it up, she put it in the way of the dim light. She squinted, making something out until she nearly jumped out of her chair.

She felt a pair of arms wrap around her neck, not caring who it was, she was about to jump out of her seat to attack the intruder until she heard the familiar voice of Lily Evans.

"Sil, it's me, Lily. Calm down, it's just me."

"What is the only known secret between you and I?"

"Seriously, Sylvia-"

"Please, Lily. I need to know."

A silence gripped the air before Lily replied.

"Sirius, sixth year and Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Twice." Sylvia sighed, feeling slightly nostalgic and glad. Dropping the letter, she wrapped her hands around Lily's then felt Lily's chin resting on top of her head. Lily gave her a light squeeze in comfort before telling her something that she wished she didn't want Lily to know, "Things between you and Harrison aren't getting any better, are they?" Sylvia stayed quiet but Lily went on. "Sirius misses you. The old you."

"He told you?"

"He looks at you like that."

Sylvia shook Lily's arms off, returning back to her work. She was doing fine up until now; she was busy with something that could keep her mind off of both of them. Sooner or later she knew that she was going to have to face Harrison some time or another but she also knew that it was mentally impossible for her not to think about either men.

That really needed fixing.

She was fine with how life was going until they brought Rebecca into her world again. There had been too many occasions where there would be too many one-on-ones between them. She knew that Rebecca did all that in spite and Sylvia threw it right back at her, especially when they were in Hogwarts. That was all changing because she was going into her territory. Rebecca, somehow, was getting Harrison all to herself.

Just like with Sirius in Hogwarts. Except she didn't care then, right?

Right.

Lily was sitting opposite Sylvia, telling her that she was just being paranoid about it all. Sylvia wasn't taking any of it which was frustrating Lily to the point where she nearly gave up. "Sil, you need to realise that both of you are-"

"Doing the exact same thing in Hogwarts?"

"No."

"Look, Lily, there is more important things than my relationship with Harrison."

"You two work well together."

"Rebecca works well with him."

"What do you want him to do? Stop interacting with her?"

"That would be nice."

"Then you would have to do the same with Sirius."

"You can suck me off. I barely talk to him."

"You think about him."

Sylvia picked up a letter and examined it, ignoring Lily's last comment. She didn't need this, not right now but Lily had decided to bring personal problems into their war. But she knew that Lily was right however she wasn't going to accept it. Right at that moment, she heard Lily sigh in distress; that was when she knew that Lily knew what she was thinking.

"Sil, I know-"

"Lily, help me."


Please review and tell me if there is any way I can improve!

-mushroomzzz-