June 1, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
Well, princess, I didn't know you cared so much. Maybe from now on I should have the news report the death of my unit wrongly and I'll get a response like that more often.
Everything is alright. I'm sure O told you. I didn't realize that the news had gotten back to all of you. It wasn't my unit. The news screwed it up. As usual. But some guys in camp here were apart of that unit and so it's a bit somber around here. We're all worried about their families now. It makes it all the more grounding when something like that hits so close to home. I've only got a few months left on this deployment and I've been thinking its my last more and more.
And if I don't make it, And please Clarke, just listen to me. If I don't make it, you'll be able to take care of them just fine without me. I know you will. It's why they all showed up at your place when they were in crisis. It's where we all go when we're at our worst. You some how make it all better. And you'll be fine. I promise. I wouldn't leave those delinquents in better hands, if I didn't think you would be okay.
You'll be okay too,
Bellamy
Clarke stood staring at her screen for a solid two minutes. She couldn't comprehend what he just say. Without thinking she dialed Octavia's number. It took some convincing, but O must have heard something in her voice because within 30 seconds she had texted the number to Clarke.
Now Clarke stood in the on call room pacing as the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Um. Can I speak with Bell - Lt. Blake?"
"I gotta find him. Who's asking?"
"Um. It's his sister," Clarke played with her ID badge.
"Oh. Hey. Hold on," the other voice said. She could hear some muffled noise on the other side. Then a yell, "BLAKE! Phone!"
"Who is it?" She heard Bellamy's voice through the static.
"It's your sister," the other voice said.
The phone was passed between the two and then Bellamy's voice came through, "Hey O, is something wrong? I thought we were talking tomorrow?"
"I SWEAR TO GOD BELLAMY BLAKE IF YOU EVER SEND ME AN EMAIL LIKE THAT AGAIN - I WILL FLY ALL THE WAY TO THAT DAMN DESERT AND FIND YOUR DUMB ASS AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!" Clarke took a deep breath about to continue on her rant, but she heard Bellamy chuckle.
"Princess?"
"Yes. It's me. How dare you send an email like that! After - after - what just happened? Don't ever do it again. Or I will - I don't know what I will do, but it will be bad. It will make you wish you were never born again."
"Alright, alright, princess. I won't. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I - I just wanted to make sure everyone would be okay."
"Well, how do you think that made me feel? You were so worried about everyone else and that I would be able to take care of them and you didn't even think - think that I would want this burden."
"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burden you, princess. You sound a little bit more angry than someone who was burdened."
"Jesus, Bellamy. When you talk like that - it - I don't like it."
"What, Clarke? Just say it," his voice sounded breathless to her. Like he was waiting and holding his breath for her to say something. Something he wanted to hear.
"You make it sound like you're okay with not coming home. And I don't want you to talk like that. If you start talking like that, you won't fight as hard to come home. You need to come home. Remember that?"
"Trust me, princess. I'm fighting to come home. I don't want to spend another night in this desert." Without you. Clarke swore he didn't actually say it, but it sounded like it.
"Okay. Okay, I just wanted to be sure," Clarke let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding.
"I didn't realized you cared so much, princess," she could literally hear him smirking and knew just want to say to get the smirk off his face.
"Of course, I care, Bellamy. Without you here, shit hits the fan. The nerds try and blow everything up constantly. Miller seems to think that I've replaced you as his best friend. If I have to hear another over compensating comment about a girl's ass - I'm going to lose it, Bell. The only one who hasn't lost her shit yet is Octavia. And I think that's only because Lincoln is around," Clarke laughs quietly.
"Lincoln? I gotta meet this guy. All she does is talk about him whenever she calls. I'm not happy about it. Are you sure he's okay?"
"Jealous, Bellamy? O's got another guy in her life and it's not her big brother anymore?"
"No. I would be happy if it was the right guy. Everyone deserves happiness, Clarke. I just wish she would wait until I'm home for her to do these things. It's the only way I can keep her safe."
"She's safe. I promise," Clarke jumped as her pager starts beeping. "Shit. That's me. I gotta go. Trauma in the ER."
"You're at work?"
"Yes. I'm always at work these days. My scrubs have replace my jeans and I don't know when the last time I did more with my hair then throw it into a braid or a messy bun."
Bellamy chuckled, "Ah. The great messy bun. Hey Clarke?"
"Yeah?"
"Keep writing, okay?"
"Yeah. Okay. I will. And stay safe."
"Yes, ma'am," he chuckled low once more and the line went dead.
Clarke sighed and jumped as her pager went off again and ran out the door.
June 3, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
Hey Princess,
I am really sorry for my last email. I never meant to scare you or burden you with the responsibility of taking care of our little delinquents, but I always thought it was something you knew. That I trusted you with all of them. I promise. I'm not giving up and I am going to come home. And you can promise that I owe you for taking care of all of them - especially O.
Hope the trauma didn't see any loss of life,
Bellamy
PS - I assume you got the number from O. Did you tell her we've been writing? Just curious.
June 5, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Hey Bell,
It's okay. I had a long day and I think my nerves were just stressed from the previous day and I freaked out. I also shouldn't have called you like that. It's just been one of those weeks. I ran into Finn again. It's not an excuse, but he is a persistent little… Nevermind. It's not important. I'm just worried about Raven again. She stopped by for lunch and saw Finn talking to me. She assumed we were speaking again and I had to reassure her through a few bottles of tequila that we were not speaking and I hadn't seen him in awhile.
No loss of life. Thankfully.
Clarke
PS - I told her you had written me, but left it vague. She cornered me later and I said it was one email and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. She asked what we could possibly have to talk about and I said her. She was happy about that. Do you not want her to know we're emailing? Just curious.
June 12, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
I swear when I get back home the first thing I'm doing is paying that jerk a visit. He should not be hanging around you like that. I'm going to - nevermind. It's best you don't know before hand. You'll just try and stop me. I'd rather not have to deal with you defending him. Maybe I'll just bring Miller.
So you and this Raven girl are really friends now? Wow. That's got to be a good story there. You'll have to tell me.
Dr. Clarke to the rescue,
Bellamy
PS - I just didn't want to get the third degree. And if I got it, you would too. Couldn't have my favorite princess disappearing on me, now could I?
June 15, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
You're not going to do anything. You and Miller are going to leave it as it is. I'm handling it. He'll grow tired soon - or he'll see me happy without him and everything will be fine.
Raven. There's not much to tell. She came over and said she was either going to hit me or yell at me. We ended up just talking and drinking - a lot. And now we're friends. She fits in nicely with "our little delinquents" as you like to call them. (I'm not complaining about the name - it fits.) You'll like her. She's got a mouth worse than O and is probably smarter than Monty when it comes to all that tech stuff. She's an engineer and since she and Finn broke up (they were living together) she's been crashing with me. It works because I'm at the hospital most nights and she's at work most days. So we're hardly both home at the same time.
Raven says hi by the way. She asked who I was emailing at this hour (it's 7am - I just got home and she's just getting up for work).
Not the hero here,
Clarke
PS - Don't worry our secret is safe with Raven. Besides, you can't get rid of me that easily. ;)
June 18, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
Alright. I'll leave the Finn thing - for now. But princess? You gotta stop being so nice to everyone. They get attached and then follow you around like lost little puppy dogs. How do you think we ended up with so many delinquents? And you've just added one more with Raven. And I'll probably be bring Murphy home with me too. We just seem to pick them up everywhere we go, don't we?
If you say I'll like Raven, I'll trust you. Still a little unsure on the whole "trust me when it comes to Lincoln" thing you keep telling me. That one I'll have to wait and see. I'm glad you got someone to keep you sane around the apartment. That place was always too big for one person.
Tell Raven I said hello too. Murphy is here. He wants me to tell you: "Hey Clarke! Thanks for the cookies and all the other goodies. Bellamy really loves you and talks about you fdalhgahghahdfak
Your saving lives - of course you're a hero,
Bellamy
PS - Tell her thanks and I wouldn't want to even if I tried.
June 20, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Haha. Do I want to know why that last email was cut off like that? And tell Murphy that he shouldn't be jealous. I only have eyes for him. (Gag)
Speaking of. Raven keeps trying to set me up with this guy she works with. She says that I was with Finn for a shorter time period then her so I need to "get back on the horse" sooner. I laughed at her, but she's sticking to it. So it looks like I'll be jumping back into the dating world again. I asked her to tell me that he wasn't a complete waste of time. I only get one night off a week and I really don't want to spend two hours sitting with a loser. I'm still making her work for it though.
Says the man fighting for his country - literally,
Clarke
PS - Same here…
June 23, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
I'm a little jealous. Only eyes for Murphy? Have you really sunk that far? You've completely bypassed me on your list of people you'd rather date… ;)
And it seems you're now letting Raven set you up. I'm a little surprised there, princess. You're normally so picky when it comes to men and now you're going on a blind date. Let's hope he lives up to all of your expectations.
Not the only thing I'm fighting for,
Bellamy
PS - Open your eyes, princess.
July 2, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Hey. Sorry I haven't written in awhile. Work got busy and life in general just got busy. I don't really know what happened.
Actually, I do. I was avoiding writing to you because I didn't know what to say. You acted like a real jackass in your last email. And I just didn't want to talk to that Bellamy anymore. I was hoping if I gave you some days to cool off, the Bellamy I like talking to will show himself again. So - the ball's in your court now. When the Bellamy I like makes an appearance tell him I miss writing to him and to write back. That other Bellamy can go to hell.
Extremely pissed off,
Clarke
July 3, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
I'm sorry. That was really an asshole thing to say. I am happy that you're getting back out there and you're not hiding after what happened with Finn. O told me that you haven't been out since Finn - not really. You haven't even been out with the group and she's worried you're closing yourself off again. Like you did after your dad.
And it's not just O who's worried. The guys are worried too. And… I'm worried too, princess. We can't have a sad princess, now can we? So go on that date with that guy and who knows. Maybe he's the perfect guy for you. I don't know why you listen to me anyway. It's obvious I don't know what you look for in a guy anyway.
Extremely sorry,
Bellamy
PS - Please don't be mad. I miss - your emails too.
July 4, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Your mood swings are worse than Octavia's when she's PMSing. And you're forgiven. But please. I get enough of the drama from O and Raven about dating again. I don't need it from you too. I'm just not ready, but when I am. I'll be sure to tell you.
Today was pretty interesting. O is always trying to recreate your 4th of July picnics and she can never get your BBQ right. She always burns something or undercooks something. Or puts too much BBQ or not enough. Its always a disaster. I normally just call for pizza before she even starts so by the time it's ruined the pizza is here and I don't have to hear Jasper protest loudly about how famished he is.
This year was different. Apparently Lincoln had got a copy of your secret recipe and did all the cooking for O. Now where on earth could he have gotten something that you swear is locked away in your memory and will never be trusted with another soul?
Besides for the great Lincoln mystery (I'm looking at you, Blake), it was a pretty typical day with the group. I brought Harper, Maya, and Raven for the first time. With O dating Lincoln, I get tired of being the only girl around. And let me tell you. Things got interesting pretty quickly after that. It seems Jasper is very smitten with Maya and Harper spent most of the night talking to Miller (poor Harper - she doesn't even know it) who spent most of the night talking to Monty (haha). And Raven and I drank beers and watched all the drunk people on the block try and fail miserably at setting off fireworks. Thank god I wasn't working. I don't think I could have handled all those injuries.
Before the night was over, there's a little tradition we started during your first tour when you were gone for July 4th. No one has ever told you about it, but tonight - I think it's time you learned about it. When you're not around, we consider this day to be your day. It's a day we celebrate our freedom and our thanks to the men and women who put their lives on the line to give us that freedom.
During your first tour, O was a mess and wanted to recreate your day. It failed and she broke down crying saying how much she missed you and just wanted to pretend that today of all days you were here. So we normally spend the day drinking in your honor and telling stories.
Over the years, its normally been just our group that make it out to your old house. And I'm sure you noticed over the years, all the people stopping by to say hello to you. On the years you're not there. They stay much longer. Apparently you've made quite the impression in this old neighborhood. They all tell stories about how you quit school and dropped everything to take care of O when you're mom got sick and everything.
You never asked for handouts, but was always thankful when the neighborhood helped you out. They're already really proud of you. And over the years, listening to their stories - it's pretty amazing.
So I think I may still be a little drunk. God damn that Raven. She always knows what buttons to push to get me drunk.
Happy 4th of July, Bellamy
Love,
Clarke
PS - I miss you too.
July 7, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
Wow, Clarke. I'm really at a loss for words here. I really don't know what to say, but thank you. I really mean it.
As to Lincoln, while you were not speaking to me (again, sorry), I received a letter from him. He wrote to me that he was sorry that he hadn't been able to meet me yet. He understood my concerns about Octavia (thanks for that by the way) and he just laid all his feelings for her out there. I was kind of floored to see how much he really care for O (and yes, maybe you were right - maybe it is love).
So I gave him a call and we had a really interesting talk. We talked about a lot of things and he brought you up. Apparently, you two had a little conversation about me (please do tell). He said you gave him some advice on how to approach me regarding O. You told him to just be honest and the rest would just happen. So we've been talking a little more now and again. He mentioned how O was upset about the picnic every year - so I gave him the recipe. And made him swear not to share it with anyone.
I'm glad you all seem to have a good time - even when I'm not there to entertain you all.
Love,
Bellamy
PS - I hope that wasn't just the alcohol talking…
July 15, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
I'm really glad he reached out to you. He was nervous. I was a little surprised of all the people in our group, he asked me for help when it came to you. Said something like I was the one who knew how to handle you best. I think I laughed for a solid 5 minutes before I could breathe again.
And I'm really glad you were receptive to him. I know O would appreciate it, but I've been sworn to secrecy and cannot share that the two most important men in her life are actually getting along. It's such a shame. Really. I guess I'll just have to bask in the glow of my amazing communicative skills all alone.
And that's Raven. She bangs that door so loud whenever Wick pisses her off at work. It's going to break off the door jam soon. She just stormed in here and saw me with my laptop and then slowly backed out of the room like she was interrupting me. She's gotten really weird every since I swore her to secrecy about our emailing.
I should get going. We're all going to trivia night (I'm being forced really - I have off tomorrow and everyone said I need to get out more).
Stay safe,
Clarke
PS - I guess you'll never know…
July 23, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
It doesn't surprise me that Lincoln asked you. You're the only one (after all these years) who does not back down when I get in one of those - "mood swings" as you like to call them.
Why is Raven trying to set you up with someone who pisses her off so much? I'd avoid it at all costs if I were you.
You do need to get out more. You spend way too much time at the hospital. And I know because all O ever does is complain about not seeing you. And your time stamps give you away. You're always email me at the oddest hours so I know you're not going out enjoying yourself. And what have I said about a sad princess?
Love,
Bellamy
PS - I'll hold my breath until you tell me… Or when I get home I'll just tickle you until you break down. ;)
July 31, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Well you'll be happy to know that I am going out with them. Whenever I get a night off. Octavia is still not happy when I don't drink. I keep telling her she wouldn't want a drunk doctor operating on her so don't ask me to do it on someone else. I normally have to go back to work the next day and it's not long enough to sober up. Thankfully I have Harper and Maya to back me up and O normally backs off.
Speaking of Harper and Maya. Maya and Jasper are officially together. Well, not officially. They're together, but only I know. Because I caught them. In the on call room. I KNOW RIGHT! Our little Jasper is all grown up and getting it on in the on call room. Yes. I did just say that. Also, keep your guard up. O is trying to set you up with Harper (who has moved on from Miller). However, Harper keeps asking me if I'm okay with that. I don't understand it, but I keep telling her that you two are both adults and you don't need my permission to date a friend.
As to Wick. I did go out with him. Awhile ago actually. I don't know why I didn't tell you. But I realized pretty quickly that it wouldn't work out. So now Raven is back to being pissed off at him for everything. I swear when she starts talking about something he did, I don't even understand it. It's all mechanical terms and things I've never understood. Even when my dad would tell me about his latest projects.
I should get going. The Commander has been breathing down my neck especially hard these last few weeks. I knew she always picked one intern to torment, but I didn't think it would be me. And not because of my mom. I just thought - I don't know what I thought.
Stay safe,
Clarke
PS - You wouldn't dare…
August 1, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
Well princess, now I am intrigued. What happened on this date with Wick? And why is Raven always pissed at him? Please, do share. I am generally curious and a bit mystified.
I've heard of the great Harper date from O. I keep telling her that it's not going to happen. I'm a bit busy at the moment and definitely don't need my baby sister trying to set me up. And I'm glad you're okay with me dating a friend. I believe last time I tried you nearly bit my head off. And then I was only joking.
Don't worry so much about the Commander. You're a great doctor, Clarke. You're going to make a great surgeon.
Love,
Bellamy
PS - Oh, it's on, princess. It's so on.
August 5, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Wick is in love with Raven. I don't know how much or how long, but he spent the entire dinner - all two hours - talking about her. Nonstop. Finally, I took pity on him and gave him some advice on how to get the girl, you know. I think he's been trying to apply it, but Raven is getting more freaked out by him because - get this - he's being TOO nice. Now she's suspicious. I almost told her the other day when she was going on a rant about how he brought her coffee. She was acting like he tried to poison her or something. It was really hilarious. It actually reminded me of - nevermind.
Don't worry about Harper. Another doctor at the Ark has caught her eye recently. It's pretty funny because we went to school with Wells and she never even really noticed him. So you're safe. She is sweet. I just think she's too sweet for you. You're a bit of an ass sometimes and need someone who's not going to take your shit.
And thanks. You haven't even seen my amazing doctor skills - yet. Hahaha.
Clarke
PS - Remember I know you're ticklish spots too….
August 12, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
Hahahahahaha. I'm really liking this Raven girl and I haven't even met her yet. She sounds like she'd be fun entertainment. It must be all that sexual tension that makes them fight like that. I know a few things about that.
And it seems you've got me all figured out, princess. So any suggestions on who can handle my shit? I'm open to them.
Was that a proposition?
Love,
Bellamy
PS - You wish you knew them all.
August 13, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Oh, the innuendos of your emails. You're such a boy sometimes.
Clarke
PS - I know them all. You should fear me…
Chat Opened
Bblake: Well well, princess. I'm glad you finally got some of my innuendos.
clarkegriffin: I always get them. I choose to ignore them.
Bblake: Oh you wound me, princess.
clarkegriffin: It doesn't take much to wound your pride, does it?
Bblake: I'm going to change the conversation before it gets nasty again.
I actually have a reason for messaging you.
Bblake: I need a favor and I can't ask O because it's for her.
clarkegriffin: I'm listening…
Bblake: I have a necklace of our mothers. It's at my house and
I wanted to give it to her for her birthday, but I didn't plan to be here for this birthday.
Can you get it and give it to her for me?
clarkegriffin: She's going to know we've been emailing then.
Bblake: I'm okay with that, if you are princess?
clarkegriffin: I'm okay with that too. She's not going to be. Because we lied.
Bblake: She'll get over it. How has everything been recently?
clarkegriffin: Good. My mom has been driving me crazy,
but it's nothing new and things are
better now that we work together.
clarkegriffin: How about you? How have you been?
Bblake: Tired. Just missing everyone. O, you, … the guys.
clarkegriffin: Well, we all miss you here too. O, the guys, … me.
Bblake: Aw, princess! I didn't know you cared so much!
clarkegriffin: Of course I care. When you're not being an ass,
you're a good friend and a great brother - to O.
Bblake: Well, I love you too, princess.
clarkegriffin: Ugh Alright. I need to go. The Commander is looking for me again.
Bblake: Love you, princess.
CHAT ENDED.
August 15, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
I just spent the last two hours getting chewed out by your sister. She is not happy with us. She wants to know why. Why we've been emailing each other. Why we didn't tell her. I'm just warning you because I was able to escape without saying much. When she was done yelling and was ready for an answer, my beautiful, beautiful pager went off and I had to get back to work.
Now I'm hiding in the on call room. Harper said she saw O wondering around looking for me.
Your turn, Blake.
Love,
Clarke
August 17, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
I only got a good hour lecture. Thankfully I decided to video chat with her rather than call her. Murphy walked in and said my C.O. was looking for me. I was able to get away, but I think Murphy stuck around to talk to her. Now I'm worried.
Love,
Bellamy
August 19, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Okay. I'm freaking out, Bell. And I don't know who to talk to. I'm really worried over here. Okay. Maybe I should start at the beginning.
The last few weeks, the Commander has really been out for me. Constantly making me stay late to do paperwork or putting me on the spot on rounds. This is what the Commander does when pissed at an intern. Seriously pissed. I had no idea what I could have possibly done wrong to get on the Commander's bad side like this.
Well. I figured it out. Well, maybe figured it out is a bit broad. More like it smacked me right in the face when - when the Commander KISSED me. Yes, kissed me. I had no idea. I was freaking out and frozen. When it was done, I ran. Ran right out of the on call room. Now I'm worried I'm going to lose my job. Or things are going to get worse. If the Commander was that pissed before, imagine after I ran.
Oh god, Bell. I don't know what to do. Please help.
August 20, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
I'm sorry, princess. Dirty old perverts are always trying to take advantage of young female interns. You need to put him in his place. Tell him it's not welcome. That you're too good of a doctor to allow your reputation to be destroyed by an old man who gets his kicks by sexually harassing young women. I'm sure you're not the only one - I mean you're special, Clarke, but guys like this are not too choosy in who to harass.
I'm sorry. This is all coming out wrong. Damn. I wish I was there. I would put this guy into the ground and never look back. You're just too nice to people, Clarke. And I know that's a good thing. It's one of the things I love about you, but sometimes who we are and who we need to be are two different things. So please, for my sanity, please, be a bit of a badass every now and then.
Love,
Bellamy
August 21, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Thanks, Bell. I panicked and didn't know what to do, but maybe I should explain something first. The Commander - she's a woman. I could have handled a creepy old guy. But I had no idea. About her. And about me apparently. I was panicking that I gave off signals that I wasn't aware of. But the Commander actually sought me out and apologized. Her and her girlfriend are having some problems and she was just lonely and made a move without thinking. It was so strange. She asked me not to tell anyone. It really meant nothing to her. It made her realize how much you loves her girlfriend and wants to make it work. I promised. Mostly because I was worried about my job. Not her relationship. You know how I feel about cheaters.
Thank you for caring - even from where you are. It always means a lot to me when you have my back.
Love,
Clarke
August 25, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
Clarke. There's something I need to tell you. And I want to do it in person. But I'm not there. I'm stuck here. Again. And I'm tired of hiding it or pretending it doesn't exist. So I'm just going to say it. And I really hope after you don't freak out and run. Because you're too important to me to lose you in my life. And O needs you too and I'm not going to ruin your friendship with her too.
I love you, Clarke. Not just as friends or whatever this is. I love you. And I want to be with you. I think I've always loved you. I mean who wouldn't. You're amazing, princess. You're smart and beautiful and caring. You love those around you with a fierceness I've never seen. You take care of everyone and don't even think twice about yourself. I'm amazed by you. Every day and I - I just love you, Clarke.
I had hoped you figured it out by now. Maybe you have and you don't feel the same so you're ignoring. God, I hope that's not the case. I'm sorry if that is.
Love,
Bellamy
August 30, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
I was really worried that you got my last email and didn't respond. Now I'm even more worried. I just got off the phone with O. She told me what happened. How could you do that, Clarke? How? When a gunman runs into a hospital shouting about killing someone, you're SUPPOSE TO RUN THE OPPOSITE WAY!
And damn it. I'm stuck here. Again. This is getting fucking ridiculous. I'm about to hop on the next plane out of here because I just need to see you. But I know you'll get pissed if I get arrested for going AWOL when you wake up. And yes, princess, you better wake up because I am not even thinking of the alternative. Okay. Just wake up.
September 15, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
I'm starting to realize how much I enjoyed writing to you. I stopped because I thought - it's not like she's going to read it anytime soon. But then I started snapping at the guys and taking things out on them. I nearly killed Murphy the other day out on patrol because I was being too stupid and reckless.
When we got back Murphy started swinging. Luckily another one of the guys, Dax, stopped him before it got worse. When Murphy calmed down he said to me, "I know you're worried about Clarke. We're all worried about her. We know how important she is to you, but you need to stop taking stupid risks or you'll never get home." It was so similar to what you said to me. That if I didn't fight to come home, I wouldn't. I realized I stopped fighting and I couldn't do that. Not to O. Or to everyone else.
So I need a promise from you. I need you to promise that you're going to keep fighting too. Keep fighting to come home. And if you keep fighting, I'll keep fighting.
I love you.
Bellamy
September 25, 2013
To: Bblake
From: clarkegriffin
Hi Bellamy. You don't know me, but I'm friends with Clarke. I know she's mentioned me a few times. Raven?
Anyway. I'm sorry to do this, but I broke into her email to get something for O. I didn't want O to see any of your emails. I know she knows, but I had a feeling there was more she didn't know about. And it seems I was right.
Anyway. I thought I would let you know that she read your email. The first one. It was marked as read. I just thought you should know that she knows. There was something in her drafts too, but I think she was still working on it before sending it to you. I read it. And I'm not going to send it to you. She stopped writing it for a reason and she wasn't ready for you to see it yet. So I'm going to respect that.
But know it's there. And she knows. Okay?
Be safe,
Raven
PS - I'll mark all the others as unread to she'll see them. I accidentally clicked on the last one and it marked them all as read. I really didn't read it. I promise.
September 30, 2013
To: clarkegriffin
From: Bblake
Your friend, Raven, is snooping through your emails. I'm sure she deleted the email she sent me from your address. So I thought I should tell you.
O says things are about the same for you. So I'm about the same. Freaking out and worried. But like I said in my last email. I'm going to keep fighting as long as you keep fighting. And remember how you freaked out at me for telling you that you would be okay taking care of everyone else if something happened to me. Well, if this is payback, I am officially paid backed. Because I need you. I can't do this without you. I don't want to. So please. Please be okay.
O just called me again. She said you're awake and you're doing good. They said the lack of oxygen didn't effect you much. But most importantly. You remember everything. I didn't realize that was an issue. I think O has been keeping some things from me. I really hope to hear from you soon. I miss you and I love you. Remember that.
Love,
Bellamy
