Red.Red was the only color I could possible know now.I mean its the color of many different things.Its the color of blood,the color of my favorite dress,the color of the Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory CD.But today the color red was just flashing around the whole office.Everyone was wearing the color red or pink some of them carried the occasional red and pink teddy bears.Everyone had at least one red rose at their desk.But of course the only desk in the whole office not to have a red rose was mine.

My name is Isabella Marie Swan and to me love is poison that ruins a person.Its kills anyone slow and painfully just the way poison is supposed to do.It was ofcourse Valentines Day and everyone at 'Twilight' magazine was enjoying the day of love. To me Valentines Day was the national holiday of Death.I mean a holiday that the main color is the color of blood has to mean something along those lines.

Valentines Day wasn't a holiday it was an exorcism and everyone was gonna die at the end of it.That was how I felt about this holiday and I don't think anything would ever change my mind.

"Bella look what Mike got me" I looked up as Jessica bounced up and down in front of me her hand held a beautiful white gold tennis bracelet.It matched her engagement and wedding ring well she was married with Mike for 5 years and she was pregnant with his 2nd child.But believe me I knew their love was gonna end someday and that day their children would be shoved in a world full of hell.

"wow that's a nice gift" I told her as she nodded happily at me as she walked off to tell Lauren as I sighed and looked back at my computer editing a few descriptions that go with the photos I take.I was a photographer for Twilight Magazine but I also liked writing songs even if I wasn't a great singer.I looked over the one picture of the beach at night the lighting ended up being fabulous even if it was night but the moon made enough light reflecting against the ocean.

I then looked over my next photo of my two best friends. Alice was a fashion designer and Rosalie was a model they always worked together and I always did the photos for their shows as I sighed and looked at Rosalie who was laughing and looking at the ceiling as Alice tried fixing her dress but she was also laughing looking down at her sewing kit.Rosalie was a tall blonde tan model she was something that came out of the Victoria's Secret catalogs. Alice was the complete opposite she was short and had black pixie hair.She was of course beautiful with great bone structure I smiled gently at the photo.They were the closest thing I had to family after my dad died and my mom basically disowned me.

" Bella" I looked up to see Angela smiling at me as she took a seat by me she was the executive editor of the magazine.She has been married for 3 years with her husband Ben and she was of course expecting also.Angela was a kind and warm person who always made sure I was OK.

"Hey Angela whats up?'' She was smiling at me with her smile that told me that she felt bad that I was so against Valentines day.That I had no love and should probably leave that's what her looks always say.

"well Bella I think you should go home early I mean its valentines day" she told me hesitantly as she stood up holding her 5 month stomach.

"If you think I should" I told her as I also stood up and turned to grab my coat and bag.I was of course wearing the colors for a funeral but then again I think Valentines Day is an exorcism. I turned off my bag and made my way out of my cubicle and out of the building.My car was a regular trailer trash.But I loved it well except today when It had to be the stupid color of the exorcism holiday.I sighed as I entered my car and made my way to drive to my apartment where my two roomates will be bugging me about all of this Valentines day crap.

"Bella why are you wearing Black?" Alice's high pitched voice cried out as she stood infront of me after I entered the apartment.She was wearing a small red halter dress and black pumps.She was so small and could pull off the outfit better than anyone around her.She was staring at me tapping her foot wondering why I was dressing in black as I turned towards the kitchen to get something to drink.

"well Isabella" I turned as I glared at the little pixie.

"Bella ok Bella and I believe Valentines day is a funeral not a love fest" I told her sharply as I turned to enter the kitchen once again.

"Alice Em is coming to pick me up soon for our picnic where are my slip on's" Rosalie's voice rang out through the house as I grabbed the strawberry Ice cream and started picking at it with a spoon.Alice and Rosalie were going through a frenzie just like every Valentines day.I was about to take another bite of ice cream until Rose came up and grabbed the spoon from my hand and threw it in the sink.

"Hey what the fuck?'' I cursed as I went to get it but Rose held me back.She was wearing striped shorts and a red tube top.She of course was bare feet and was smiling at me.

"I let you borrow those slide where are they?'' I immediately knew which one she was talking about and I smiled cheekily at her as I turned away and starting eating the ice cream with my bare hands.Rosalie was scrunching her nose in disgust as she sighed and looked away.

"Bella now" She said strictly as I grinned and pointed towards my room.She huffed and turned making her way towards my bedroom I chuckled to myself as I made my way to get the spoon she threw in the sink.Alice was standing by the entry of the kitchen as she stared at me upset.

"Bella why cant you just make me and Rose happy today?'' Alice asked me she wasn't smiling and I knew she was serious I sighed as I turned to her.

''why should I support your guys when you go off to your own funeral?'' I told her sharply as she sighed and turned around grabbing her cellphone and black purse.

"Bella come on please he wont break my heart''

"You don't know that Alice I mean that's life a bunch of heart breakers" I told her as I walked around her to get to my room.

"Bella that's how you see life if you just gave Jasper or Emmett a chance you ll see their decent guys"

"whatever Alice" I called out as I entered my room to see Rosalie putting on her red and white beach slides as she turned and smiled at me.

"Ok Emmett called Ive got to go bye Bella'' She kissed my cheek and ran out as I heard her hug and run off.

"Bye Rose have fun at your exorcism" I called out as I turned on my laptop and grabbed my digital camera I had three different cameras 2 were professional ones while the third one was my digital camera.

"Bella Im leaving now ok dont get into trouble ok" Alice said as she came through my door and hugged me kissing my cheek as she ran off.I sighed silently as I stared at the loading screen of my computer.I was once again here all alone well that's life.

My eyes opened to the ringing of my alarm as I turned to my side to see my digital clock shining the hour 8:20.I sat up yawning as I looked out of my window to see the sun up and shining.Great this was Seattle on February 15.I turned around to catch sight of the picture that covered my mirror.It was of me and my father at a Christmas dinner 7 years ago.He was the reason I didn't believe in love he always loved my mom but she never loved him.He died waiting for her he died knowing of the hate my mother held for him.I closed my eyes and sighed walking off to my bathroom.My pale brown hair fell on my shoulder as I released it from its bun.My eyes were a dull brown and my pale heart shaped face made my think twice of any beauty I had.

I looked down at my hands as I held onto the bathroom sink.I was this scared of life. I turned and took my shower and got dressed.

"Alice Rose" I called out in the apartment as I stepped out of my room I turned to see that the keys were still here.I realized they must of each stayed over their boyfriends house.I turned to the kitchen and took sight of the three frames that stood their on the coffee table.One was of the three of us one day at the beach but the other two were of Alice and Jasper or Emmett and Rosalie.Jasper and Emmett were both decent guys nice and caring each of them had a good job.But I was scared if I got to close to them and they ended with my two best friends I would lose 2 other male figures in my life.Jasper was taller than me he had a muscular build but not so much he was blonde and clear eyed.Emmett was the exact opposite he was taller than Jasper and Rose that is saying alot he was muscular but to the extreme like football player muscular he had brown hair,brown eyes and dimples.

They were both buisness man working in a record company they were agents for any musical rock group.They once got us tickets for metro station but I didnt want to go anywhere with them.I was acting foolish I should be happy for Alice and Rosalie but my pride and my hate for love got to me as I turned once again to enter the kitchen and get something to eat. I heard the front door open and then Alice's laughter filled the apartment along with a deep voice that could only belong to Jasper.I sighed as I grabbed an apple from the fridge and then I grabbed my keys getting ready to drive off to the park or somewhere.

"Bella" I heard my name as I turned and left the kitchen to see Alice standing their in jeans and one of Jasper button up shirts.It looked huge on her but she still made it seem fashionable Jasper was wearing a baseball t-shirt and jeans they both looked happy and content.That was gonna change and I knew it.

"Yah Alice?" I asked questioning as I passed by them and to my room.I needed to get out of here and taking my camera with me was a nessecity.I could still hear Alice from where I was as I grabbed my camera and bag walking out of my room closing it.

"Do you wanna go to dinner with me and Jasper? she asked me her eyes held some hope in them as I shook my head and looked down biting my lip as I looked back up at her and Jasper.

"I actually have to go take some shots at the park so" I sighed and looked up at her and smiled.

"So I got to go have fun" I told her as I walked out of the apartment in a hurry my bag wrapped around me and my keys in my hands.I knew I was a coward but it was easy this way.So much more easier.

The park was quiet and peaceful.I always went their when I needed that peace that I always looked for sometimes I could find it here but once the day is over I realize I need to go back to my life elsewhere as I sighed and looked around the park from under my tree.You could see everything under this tree it was on a hill and you could look over the whole park.I sighed as I stared out at the small lake to see some kids playing and feeding the ducks.I glanced to see the parents staring at their children as they have fun in the park. I was never one of those kids who got to play and go to the park I was always stuck with my mom at home and the only time I ever went to the park was in forks whenever I saw my father over the summer.Then I moved in with him when i was 12 because my mom was dating this guy that I didn't like and I wanted her to choose me but she didnt she stayed with him to this day. After my father died I had the choice of living with Alice and her parents or going to Arizona with my mom.Of course I chose Alice but my mother hated it and said if I didn't choose her she'll never speak to me again.I still chose Alice and my mother practically stripped me from being her daughter.

After that I really never accepted to have someone control me like that after my father's death I realized thats all love will ever do to you.Kill you just like how it killed my father.He died of love he died loving my mother.He died knowing she didnt love him that she hated him.He died because of love I blamed love for his death I mean maybe if he didnt love my mom so much maybe if he let her go maybe I'd still have my father here with me. I never really got over the fact that my father died because of my mothers hate for him.I wished and prayed he could have lived to see me now.But all I have no is pictures of him memories that should last forever.I sighed and stood up looking at two kids a brother and sister playing around as they fed the ducks.

The boy was hugging his sister by the side as he threw food to the ducks the picture could be perfect.I decided to get closer as I stared at the two and I quickly snapped the picture.I had to leave soon go to the dark room at my work but before I turned I heard the boy talk.

"don't worry Dad is gonna be ok he's in heaven now" I stopped and turned to see the kids again but this time I saw me and my ex best friend Jacob Black instead of the two kids we were in front of the forks pond.We were wearing our funerals clothes as he held me and kissed my head.I was sobbing as I held onto him.

"Don't worry Bells You dad is gonna be fine He's in heaven he's in paradise" I blinked my eyes as I saw the two kids stand up and ran towards a young woman who I guessed was their mother.I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I wiped it quickly and walked off to my car.Forgetting that horrible memory.Forgetting everything that made me hate love.Forgetting why Isabella Swan was unlovable.