Not much to say...here's a new chapter!

I own Zelda! Nah, I'm just taking your shoes off!(My quote)


GDT M'man Has No Heart

Yah, I'm inside him. He has these plants growing onto him. Weird. Whatever I just slash and hack at them and I get a stick. A pointless stick...maybe I could put it on fire! I also get weird nuts. Are these like supposed to be eaten as food or something? I crack one Deku Nut open and eat it.

It tastes like shit.

Nope. It's just a pointless thing I get when I kill one of those plant things. Maybe I could throw them Mido after this. It's pretty hard so who knows what could happen. There's a bunch of crap in here. I'll just smack nuts around till I waste all of them. Smack, BOOM!

You know what I just noticed while smacking around those nuts? The Great Deaku Tree has no heart! He has no heart for the love of god!

Cool, I got a 5 year old toy.

Yeah it's kind of true. I have a toy that should belong to a five year old. While climbing the Deku Tree(Getting used it now...keep my food inside the stomech.) I found a treasure chest and I was like, Holy crap! Gold and money mwahahaha! All mine! Instead, it was a slingshot. I swear to god, it was a slingshot. Oh and here's something more silly. The ammo are Deku seeds. There damn, fricken, annoying, weak, stupid, dumb shit seeds! Whatever the hell this does, it's weak. I look around myself. Oh shit, how the hell do I get out!

Wow, I wonder why the Deku Tree has a ladder inside of him. I get the vines and all since he's a plant but a ladder? That's just plain stupid. I wonder if that's his heart. I know! I'll shoot it with my slingshot!

That's what I did. The ladder fell to the ground. Yay! I could climb it now! Whoo hoo! This slingshot isn't bad after all. Now I understand why it's called a "Fairy" Slingshot. I just climb up the ladder!

Holy Shit! FIRE!

After killing innocent spiders(I'm cruel, am I right?) I climb up these vines. After climbing up I go inside this door and get this, when I go inside, the door is locked. What the hell? Anyway I get on this switch and does a bunch of bitching.

Still bitching...

Bitching all right?

I see a treasure chest! YAY! Money money money! Yeah! Damn...it was just a key. Back to bitching!

Bitching...

I wonder how I could open this door...I know! I'll use my awesome slingshot. I shoot and YAAAYYyyy...nnnnnNNNNOOOO!!!!! Damn this useless item! Hmm I still have those sticks, right? Heehee. I take out my sticks and put it on fire. I put it toward the door, hoping it would burn. Aw f-f-fairy! Navi is surprised I said a Kokiri curse, aw fairy. Well screw you! Hey my stick is still on fire. HOLY CRAP, IT'S COMING DOWN! I wave it around trying to stop it. I accidently hit this other torch with it.

The door opened up. Simple as that.

Vanishing Keys

I am 100 sure my key just vanished. This is what happened.

Remember that key I got earlier? Um yeah I saw a door with a lock on it. I thought about how to open it and then I found out. The key I got from earlier! So I take out my key and slot it into the lock. The door opened but my key vanished! I looked around everywhere for it but it vanished! Meaning I have to find a new one!

Shitty luck I have eh?

2 3 1? Twenty-three is Number One?

I found this midget plant. It looked so cute I was about to pet it but it spit a fricken ball at me. I pulled up my shield and let the ball hit itself. I took out my Kokiri Sword, ready to slash, but it pleaded for mercy. Hell no! I dropped my sword down until it said "2 3 1, Twenty-three is number one!" I was like wtf? That was useless information. I just swiped at the little plant midget.(Creative name isn't it?)

I got far into the dungeon. Very.

I think I shouldn't hve slashed that little plant midget because I can't remember what it said. I found out what he meant though. There were three little plant midgets firing balls at me. I blocked all three. The balls did something like this. The second little plant midget got hit. Then the third. Then the first. They went all like, "How did you find out our secret code?" OH! That was the code. After talking about Queen Gohma, the little plant midget just ran away. I walk into the door.

Parasite Queen Gohma

I walk in looking around the foggy room. Nothing to interesting. Well whoever that inhabits this place wants there privacy, that is just fine with me! I'm about to walk away. Guess what, the door is locked. I hear something very strange. I look up at the ceiling and there's a giant bug! AAAAHHHH!!!! I hate bugs! There very scary. It comes down to floor. It want's to fight me oh hell no!

Seems like hell yeah!

I run away from it thinking of a way to kill it. Then I got an idea. I take out my slingshot and shoot it at the eye. It falls to the ground, immobilized. Isn't it freaky how such a big enemy gets hurt by a mere seed. This thing needs some protein. I run to the giant, freaky bug(Another cool name!) and slash and hack at it. Yeah! No blood? God damn it!

I now know it's a she. How? It lays eggs! Three eggs came down from it's...oh my god, I'm gonna have nightmares! They turn into mini bugs. No biggy. There very easy to kill. It's actually quite laughable. Oh my god I have to laugh! While I was laughing, the giany, freaky bug fell off the ceiling and crashed onto me. My spine hurts. Ow...anyway I got up and did the same thing I did to the giant, freaky bug before. Slingy(A nickname for my slingshot.)plus Eye of giant, freaky bug plus hack and slash equals Dead bug.

I win! Hahahaha! Hold on. It's still alive. This is the final strike!

FINISH HER!

I charged up my sword and did a spin attack. The giant, freaky bug started to burn.

FATALITY

My prize for killing it was a heart container. Aw shit. All that work for this piece of crap. Whatever. I step into this blue light and soar to the air.


Funny shit eh? Tell me in the reviews!