A/N: Sorry for the slight delay in posting this, I wasn't sure (still not) if I was satisfied with the word flow/structure.
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Law and Order: SVU or its characters.
Although it was normal for him to hang out at her place or she at his, she wasn't sure what to think about him showing up on her doorstep at three a.m. Something felt different, odd even.
He had told her nothing was wrong, but after all the years of working together, of being so close, she knew him almost as well as she knew herself. She could read the nervousness on his face as he paced back and forth in the middle of her living room.
"El, you're going to wear a hole in my carpet if you keep that up," she finally said.
"Oh. Sorry." He stopped, looking at her for a moment, before walking over to the couch and taking a seat beside her –keeping a respectable amount of distance between the two of them.
She frowned at the space separating them. "You said you wanted to talk to me?" she prompted, leaving the question hanging in the air, when he remained silent.
Time passed. Maybe just a minute, maybe ten. She yawned out loud, tired. For the past few weeks, she'd been having trouble sleeping. Hell, she had even started watching infomercials –a sure sign of desperation, if there ever was one– hoping that they would put her to sleep. No such luck there, all they had succeeded in doing was lighten her bank account by about forty bucks.
Tonight, though, she had managed to fall asleep before two a.m. Then Elliot showed up saying he wanted to talk, but here he was on her couch, saying nothing at all.
She leaned forward about to rise and to speak when his voice stopped her.
"I love you," he said, all in one quick rush of breath.
Telling herself to remain calm, she sat down again. Idiot, idiot! She mentally berated herself. He doesn't mean it the way you want him to, don't read anything into it. She forced her voice to remain light as she smiled brightly, "I know you do, Elliot. I love you, too."
"That's not exactly what I meant. I do love you, but I'm also in love with you," he paused before continuing, "I know you care about me, we've been partners for so long. But I want to know… are those just feelings you would have toward a friend, a brother? Or is there something more there for you, too?"
"I don't know what to say," she began.
He closed his eyes briefly, willing himself to not let her see the pain he was feeling. "I understand," he told her as he stood.
"No, you don't." She sighed audibly. "Sit down. Please?" she added when he didn't immediately comply. After he retook his seat, she began again, "You just threw me a curve ball. You need to give me a few moments and let me catch up, El."
The stabbing feeling that was in heart began to slowly subside, as he began to hope. That didn't sound too bad. "Okay. I can do that; I can give you all the time that you need."
She let out a small laugh. "I said moments, not months. But thanks." She hesitated for a quick moment, tucking an errant lock of hair behind her ear, suddenly nervous despite just having her deepest desire come true. Not certain where to begin, she figured complete honesty would be best. "I do love you, Elliot. And it's most definitely not in a brotherly, friendship only, type of way." Since she was being candid, she added, "It seems like I've always felt something for you."
"Yet you never said anything?"
"It never seemed like the right time, always something, some reason for me to keep my feelings to myself." She went on, softly, "I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way."
He nodded, understanding what she meant. He moved closer to her, taking her hand in his. His thumb drew a lazy pattern in the palm of her hand.
She shivered at his touch and felt ridiculous. It wasn't like it was the first time he had touched her, or been this close. Her eyes glanced down at their hands and then back into his eyes.
"What?" he asked, curious to know what she was thinking.
"It's just… I can't believe this is happening. That you're here, that you told me you loved me. I can't help but think that I'm going to wake up and find that this didn't happen."
He smiled at her. With his free hand, he gently traced the curve of her cheek, then of her lips. "This isn't a dream," he told her, leaning his head toward her. His lips, seconds from her. Her beautiful brown eyes stared into his, silently willing him forward. "But if it is then I don't want to wake up," he murmured before capturing her lips.
The kiss was sweet and passionate, innocent and sensual. There was newness; there was surprise –amazement at how it seemed so right, so natural, for them to be in this moment together.
Reluctantly, he released her and leaned back against the couch. His heartbeat was rapid, his breathing heavy.
She, likewise, was having similar problems. Take a deep breath, in and out, she instructed herself. "Wow," she finally managed. "I didn't know. Well, I thought that it would be good –great even. But… um, yeah… wow."
He couldn't keep the self-satisfied, fully male grin from spreading wide on his face.
And later, after more time had passed, he finally asked, "So the question now is where do we go from here?"
Unfolding her legs, she stood and stretched. "To bed."
His eyes widened, and his voice was slightly higher than he would have liked as he echoed back her words.
She couldn't keep the laughter from escaping when she saw the look on his face, knowing exactly where his mind had gone. "That's not what I meant."
"Oh, yeah, of course not. I didn't think that," he supplied quickly.
"Uh-huh." She grinned. "I just meant that I'm exhausted and morning's going to come sooner rather than later…"
"That's true," he said, standing as well.
"Not that what you were thinking doesn't have a certain appeal to it," she teased him, walking toward him and placing her hand on his chest –amazed that she now had the right to do this freely. "But I'm not that easy," she continued, "I require at least a couple of dinners…"
He gave her a matching smile back. "That sounds like something I can do," he told her, leaning in to give her a long kiss goodnight. "I should probably be going now," he added when he finally broke their embrace.
"Yeah, I guess," she agreed, her arms still wound around his neck. "But, you know, if you wanted to join me, help keep me warm…then I wouldn't object."
FIN
A/N2: Thank you to everyone for taking a chance and reading my first SVU story. Comments are welcomed, especially in regards to if you think I did an okay job with the characters/their voices.
