Disclaimer: I don't own Yuri on Ice or "Without You" by My Darkest Days...Enjoy :)
I was laying on the couch in Viktor's office, one earbud in my ear and Maccachin curled up over my feet, watching as he typed on his computer, no doubt answering the millions of emails he received on a daily basis.
I smiled to myself, watching him work, thinking, always the busy worker, never taking a day for himself.
The song I was listening to faded to a close as the next one came on, which happened to be one of my favorite songs, Without You by the Canadian band, My Darkest Days.
I closed my eyes, listening to the lyrics, each word hitting close to home. Suddenly, I bolted upright whirling to set my feet on the office floor, sending poor Maccachin flying across the room. "Ah! Sorry Maccachin!" I said, as the poor dog ran under Viktor's desk.
"Aibou, what is it?" Viktor asked as he looked up from his laptop, his brow furrowed at my sudden outburst.
"An idea just hit me for my next free skate program! I can't tell you what it is though, it's a surprise! I'll see you tonight!" I said breathless, as I pecked him on the cheek and ran out the door.
"Silly boy," he muttered, shaking his head and smiling as he went back to work, Maccachin curled up at his feet.
At the rink
"Hey Yuri-kun! Long time, no see!" Yuko-chan exclaimed as I ran through the door, my Ipod in my hand.
"Y-Yuko-chan! I know you are closed, but can I practice here today? I have a new idea for a free skate program!" I said, breathless.
"Yuri-kun, do you really have to ask? What's this new idea of yours? A new masterpiece thought up by you and Viktor, no doubt," Yuko-chan said, grinning.
I shook my head. "Not this time, this one is all me! The idea hit me out of the blue, and I want to surprise Viktor at the next competition," I said, grinning.
I could see Yuko-chan's face light up with mischief, as she said, "the rink is all yours Yuri! If he tries to come in, I'll send him away."
I laughed, knowing fully well that she wouldn't hesitate to send him away. "He can come into the building, but you have to keep him away from the rink I'm in. I don't want him to see it until it's perfect," I said, as I headed to the locker room to get ready.
In the locker room
I pulled my skates out of my backpack, before stuffing it into my locker, pausing to look at the photos I had taped to the inside of the door, smiling at the memories that came flooding back. I shook my head, grinning from ear to ear as I closed my locker door.
In the arena
"Hey Yuri! What are you doing here?" asked Loop, as she looked up.
"Hi Loop-kun, it's good to see you! Hey, can you hook this up to the speakers and press play for me when I give you the signal?" I asked, handing her my Ipod.
"Sure! Is this a new piece that you and Viktor cooked up for the next competition?" she asked, as I set my jacket and glasses on the railing.
"Nah, this one is all on me this time. It's a surprise for Viktor," I grinned, as I glided out to the center of the ice. "Ok, Loop, ready when you are!"
"'Kay!" she called, pressing play on my Ipod. The opening notes broke the serene silence of the arena.
I lost myself in the music, forgetting that Loop and, for that matter, everyone else in the building dropped everything to come and watch once the music started.
As the music came to a close, I glided to a stop, my heart pounding in my chest. Suddenly I was snapped back to reality as the arena exploded in applause and cheering.
"YURI THAT WAS AMAZING!" Takeshi shouted, pumping his fist in the air.
"VIKTOR WILL LOVE IT!" Yuko-chan screamed, her eyes sparkling.
I can only hope he will love it, I thought as I glided over to the others. My heart was pounding, but all I could think about was how Viktor will react when he sees what I had done.
One month later
"Welcome figure skating fans, to the Japan Figure Skating Championships! Today, we have the best and brightest stars competing for a place in the national championship!" announced Takamura Sanoske.
"That's right, Sanoske-san! All morning we have been watching as these stars rehearse, and, let me tell you, boy are you in for a show! All eyes are on Katsuki Yuri, the 23-year-old from Hasetsu and his coach Viktor Nikiforov. Under Viktor's coaching, Yuri has beaten every personal best score that he has received since setting foot on the ice. I wonder what they have in store for us today," mused Otakura Rina.
My heart pounded in my chest, and my mind raced as I stretched, my earbuds pressed firmly in my ears.
"Lyubov moya, relax, you will be fine," Viktor said gently, as he put his arms around me from behind. "I'm sure whatever you have been working on will be brilliant."
"I hope you will like it, Aibou. I have been working so hard on making it perfect, that I am scared I will mess up," I whispered, my body shaking.
Viktor tightened his grip, and whispered, "Lyubov moya, listen to me: forget the crowd. Forget the competition! Pretend that you are back at the rink, and it's just the two of us. Skate for yourself…and skate for me," he whispered, spinning me around gently. He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, as Sanoske-san said my name.
"It's time, Lyubov moya. Go get 'em," he said with a smile, his hands interlaced with mine.
I pulled him close, looking him in the eyes, and said, "don't ever take your eyes off of me!" I kissed him before entering the ice.
I took my place in the center of the ring, as the music began to play.
"This is the first routine of its kind, ladies and gentlemen. Skaters usually choose instrumental music or light music to perform to," Sanoske-san muttered.
"That's right Sanoske-san. Rumor has it that Katsuki Yuri choreographed this as a surprise for his coach," Rina-san muttered. "We will see how the judges feel about this break from tradition."
If I had my way,
I'd spend every day right by your side
That's right! I would spend every waking moment with Viktor if I could. As it is, the only time that I really see him is in practice. Other than that, he spends his time working in the office, I thought.
Flashback
"Aibou! Why don't you take a break from work? Maccachin could use some fresh air, we all could!" I said, sitting up from my place on the couch.
"I would, Lyubov moya, but I have tons of things to do in order to get ready for next season. I can go with you both later though," he muttered, as he continued to type, his fingers flying across the keyboard.
I sighed as I stood up. "Come on, Maccachin, let's go for a run," I muttered, as I left the office, Maccachin trailing happily behind me.
And if I could stop time,
Believe me I'd try for you and I
I really wish I could stop time, so that I could keep Viktor as my coach, and my partner forever, I thought, as I got ready for my first quad.
"Here comes his first quad, a Quadruple Toe Loop, Triple Salcow combination," Rina-san muttered.
"In the past, Katsuki Yuri has only been able to land this combination once. Will he be able to do it again?" Sanoske-san asked the crowd at large.
I will prove that I can land it! I thought, grinning to myself. I launched, spinning in the air, earning a gasp from everyone in the arena.
"Excellent!" Rina-san exclaimed, as the crowd cheered.
Where did that come from? Viktor thought, as he watched me with rapt attention.
And each moment you're gone,
Is a moment too long in my life
So stay right here, right now
Flashback
"Do you really have to go? Six months is too long!" I whined, as Viktor stood in our room packing his bag.
"Lyubov moya, don't worry! I will be back before you know it! I just have to go and settle Yakov's estate and the matters of his students and I will be back. You won't even notice I'm gone," he chuckled, as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Still, I wish you would stay. It's too quiet around here without you," I mumbled, looking down at the floor.
Viktor shook his head, and took my chin gently in his hand. "Yuri, Lyubov moya, everything will be ok. I will be back soon, I promise," he whispered, as he leaned in to kiss me.
He put his bag over his shoulder, and, flashing that smile that I love so much, left the house to catch his cab.
That night, I sat in the office, sobbing my eyes out, Maccachin watching from his place on the floor. Suddenly, Maccachin began to bark, darting out of the office and down the stairs.
"Maccachin, where are you off to?" I sniffled, as I wiped my eyes and followed him down the stairs.
I stopped dead in my tracks. "Vi-Viktor?!" I asked, tears welling in my eyes again.
"Ah, Lyubov moya, did you miss me?" he asked, turning slowly to face me, his bag lying forgotten on the floor.
"You came back!" I sobbed as I ran into his arms.
He smiled, saying, "Yes, Lyubov moya, I came back. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you for so long. So, do you forgive me?"
I shook my head and leaned in, whispering, "of course I forgive you!"
I smiled as the memory came flooding back, remembering that if he ever had to leave, that he would always come back to me.
'Cause without you I'm a disaster
(the moment you go)
That's right, I am a disaster without Viktor! Even when he is away on business I fall apart without him to hold me together, I thought as another memory came flooding back.
Flashback
It was the Kyushu Competition, and Viktor was leaving again on business.
"I'll be back in a few days," he said, pecking me on the cheek as he climbed into the cab that was to take him to the airport. I waved sadly, Maccachin by my side.
That week was the week of the Kyushu Competition my first competition without Viktor by my side. In the end, I finished in Fourth place. My heart sank, knowing that Viktor would be furious.
And you're my ever after
(Just thought you should know)
But, it hasn't been all bad, I thought as I smiled. I finally found my ever after, I found it as soon as Viktor told me the reason why he came to Hasetsu to be my coach.
'Cause I need to know your answer
(Just say you'll stay with me)
I looked up into the crowd and locked eyes with Viktor, silently passing him a message. I could tell from the ring that his eyes were wide, he knew the message I was sending him. I need to know: will you stay once the season is over? Or are you going back to Russia? I thought, clinging onto the hope that he wouldn't leave me.
I want you to say you're gonna stay with me
(Just say you'll stay with me)
I just want to know that, at the end of the season, you will stay with me. Just tell me you are going to stay here with me, I thought desperately, as my eyes started to burn.
"Here comes another combination!" Sanoske-san excitedly mumbled.
I die every day that you're away from me
I launched off the ice, spinning, and landing, grinning from ear to ear.
"Another flawless combination by Katsuki Yuri!" exclaimed Rina-san as the crowd once again erupted in thunderous applause.
"He might have this completion swept up in a first place medal after that combination!" cried Sanoske-san.
I looked up, and once again, locked eyes with Viktor, who was watching with rapt attention, his eyes welling with tears.
I closed my eyes, losing myself once more in the music, knowing that the crowd was hanging onto my every move.
So just say you'll promise me,
Please, take me if you ever leave
My heart breaks with every beat,
I die every day that you're away from me
I ended my performance, my hand outstretched towards Viktor, my heart pounding in my chest and mind racing.
You could hear a pin drop, before the crowd erupted with thunderous applause and cheers that could be heard as far as way as Tokyo.
I turned and greeted the audience, unaware that Viktor was sprinting from his place in the Coach's box to the place that I would leave the ice.
Grinning to myself, I left the ice. "Yuri!" Viktor called, as he reached the exit.
Ignoring the continuous applause, and everyone else in the arena, I skated as fast as I could towards Viktor, who had launched himself into my arms, kissing me passionately.
"Lyubov moya, that was flawless!" he whispered as he held me in his arms, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling.
"I'm glad you liked my performance Aibou, but aren't you angry I went behind your back and choreographed my own performance?" I asked, afraid of the answer that he would give me.
"Yuri, look at me. I'm not angry, in fact, I am incredibly proud of you. That was flawless, the best performance I have ever seen," he whispered.
He stood, and offered his hand. I took it, standing carefully and left the ice, hand in hand with the man I love most in this world.
We waited with baited breath for my scores, his arms still around my shoulders. I covered my ears and hung my head, unable to take the pressure.
"The scores for Katsuki Yuri are…A PERFECT SCORE!" bellowed Sanoske-san, as the crowd erupted for the millionth time.
Viktor's head shot up as he turned to face me. Gently, he took my hands from my ears and took my chin in his hand. "You see, Lyubov moya, they loved your performance! They love you as much as I do," Viktor said as he hugged me, tears rolling down his face.
As we left the rink at the end of the event, my first place medal around my neck, Viktor stopped and turned to me, a glimmer in his beautiful blue eyes.
"You asked a very important question in your performance Lyubov moya, and I realize that I haven't given you an answer," he said quietly.
I stopped dead in my tracks. Oh, God! What is his answer?! Will he stay with me after the season?! Will he go home?! I can't handle this right now! I thought, as my mind raced and my heart thundered in my chest.
"As much as I look forward to going home…" he started. My heart sank as I hung my head, my eyes burning, knowing that he was about to say the words that I never wanted to hear, despite the fact that I asked the question.
"As much as I look forward to going home, I can't bring myself to do it. St. Petersburg is no longer my home. My home is here, with you and Maccachin, and, if you will say yes, I promise to never leave," he said softly.
My eyes snapped open, as I watched Viktor drop to one knee, a small open box in his hand.
"So, Lyubov moya, what do you say?" he asked, winking.
I dropped to my knees, throwing my arms around him, knocking the small box to the ground. "Yes…yes…my answer will always be yes," I whispered in his ear.
Translations:
Lyubov moya— My love (Russian)
