Dear friend,
I know that my last letter was a little harsh, and maybe difficult to read. I can assure you that i am fine now. My arms are healed, (except for the scars) and i still feel alone, but at least i have you to write to. At least i know that you listen. No one else here listens. I'm still buying from Bob. I still smoke, even though my sister told me to quit. I don't let it affect my schoolwork though. All in all, the only thing i am still worried about is, why hasn't anyone come home?
I know that i probably don't have to, but i want to apologize. I am so sorry for what i did. And if i made you worry, i am even more sorry. I know what i did was extremely wrong, and with the way my arms look, i know that i have to live with this my entire life. I don't mean to jump from topic to topic, but there is this looming feeling that Sam, Patrick, Mary Elizabeth, and Alice have just...forgotten about me. i know i should push these thoughts out of my head, but i can't and i keep trying and everytime i do, it just hurts more and more.
My parents are keeping an even closer eye on me. Now that I really have no one, I wish i could cease to exist. I know that they have more than likely abandoned me. I know that they are thinking about how i was just some freshman. I just wish i knew why though. When i cut myself, I felt this sense of relief. A sort of pacification that could only tide me over for so long.
I need to know whether or not Sam and Patrick still care about me. Neither of them know of my little incident. I'm sure that they would both still understand. If they love me like they say they do, then i know that everything will be fine...if they even come home.-
Dear friend,
I know that i probably didn't need to reiterate the salutation, but it has been two weeks since I last started writing to you. While writing, things started to get bad again. I saw things, and quite frankly, I'm still seeing. Please dont think differently of me for doing what i do. I have, within the past two weeks, cut myself again...i need more help, but i don't want it. Does that make sense? As i wr e thi i c n't he p but not to c y. So if th re ar let rs mis ng i am sorry. I think that this might be it for now. I feel that i need a sense of relief...maybe afterwards, The Smiths can sing me to sleep.
Love always,
Charlie.
