And on we go to chapter 2!! I like this fic, seeing as I actually have an excuse now to make them all do extreme randomness! Anyways, I'll just shut up now and give you the rest of this story. I nearly forgot to mention! I said that this would be the last part but I think i'm gonna draw this out. So from now on every chapter will be about someone's Lang Zi Says. They won't necessarily be out in that chapter. This is so YOU can suggest stuff and it makes life easier on me. And for those who DON'T like shounen-ai then you're in luck! That's gonna come in later chapters, I have decided. I'm such a tease! XP
Oh yeah... Standard disclaimer/warning thingy. You know the drill: I own nothing, contains spoilers, contains absolute nonsense, contains a man-eating squirrel... o.0

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Chapter Two- Mike Meekins

--Date: Saturday, May--
--Time: 2.15 pm--
--Place: Random Field--

"ALRIGHT!! Ladies and Gentlemen, are you ready for the first ever Lang Zi Says tournament?! I know I am, and I'm looking forward to some serious competition! I'm your host Kay Faraday, and I'll also be doing the judging so without further ado-"

"Kay! ... Where on earth did you get that microphone from?! And where did that huge stage you're on come from?! And what's with all the dramatic lights and awful theme music?!" The theme music Edgeworth was referring to is Kay's voice on a rock tune singing, "L-l-l-l Lang Zi! L-l-l-l Lang Zi! This is the Lang Zi Says tournament! Lalalalalalala~ LANG ZI!!!"

The music stopped and Kay glared daggers into the prosecutor. "I'll have you know that I worked really hard on recording this theme! And Mr. Edgeworth, you should never underestimate what the Yatagarasu can do. All this was a piece of cake!"
"...What did you do? And how did this all just randomly appear here?!"
"It's elementary, my dear Edgeworth. Just use that logic of yours!" Kay laughed heartily and thought about how nice it was for up-and-coming band 'The Gavinners' to lend her the stage and equipment and how kind it was of 'Troupe Gramarye' to make it possible for everything to appear like magic. Well, she thought, They did keep their end of the bargain so I guess I'll give Klavier his motor-bike back, and return those weird bracelets to Thalassa Gramarye. Kay hadn't really black-mailed them, she'd just "borrowed" something that was of some value and said she'd give it back in exchange for one small favor. That wasn't against the law was it?

The Lang Zi Says theme started up again.
"Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," *not so subtle point to Miles* ,"Without further ado let the games begin! Starting us off today will be... Maggey Byrde! Maggey, who will Lang Zi be saying something too? Ooooooh I can't stand the suspense!"

Maggey looked around the group. Since her day looked like it was going to be spent playing this game, she thought she might as well try to win. In fact, that was the thought everyone had. Maggey decided to play it tactical, and get rid of the weak ones first.
"Mike Meekins."
"Y-yes?"
"Lang Zi Says... Um, er, hmmmm... Oh, I know! Lang Zi Says climb that tree, all the way to the top!" She pointed to indicate the tree she was on about and smirked (which was very unlike Maggey but she was determined to win this thing). Maggey had known Meekins back when they were both on the police force and she remembered how pale he had gone when they had to go onto a roof to catch a criminal. She learned that day that Mike hated heights.
The poor man looked at the tree and gulped. However he pulled out his megaphone and said, "THIS LITTLE MAN WILL CONQUER HIS FEAR OF HEIGHTS TODAY SIR!!!" With that, he marched defiantly up to the tree and grabbed onto the lowest branch.

Everyone watched as, slowly but surely, the ex-officer called upon all his upper body strength (so that wasn't a lot) and made his way closer and closer to the top. He was doing pretty well, Maggey thought that she had wasted her Lang Zi Says, until a small rustle from the branch above made him start.
"W-what was that?" He froze.
"C'mon, you can do it! Don't just stop!" encouraged Kay from her stage, but Mike wouldn't move. He had looked down and although he was only about 2 meters off the ground, he had a panic attack.
"T-this is way too high! I-I can't. Plus, there's something here... I AM SCARED SIR!!!"
There was more rustling. Everyone saw the shaking but didn't take much notice, telling Mike to get a move on. Before the unfortunate man in the tree could gather up enough courage to breathe properly, a flash of grey streaked down from above and... SMACK!!!

Meekins fell from the tree and landed in a very painful way. He just lay there, motionless for a bit and the group started to worry. Ema looked up to see if she could scientifically discover what had caused his fall. The answer became clear a few moments later when Meekins jumped up and started doing a most peculiar dance. He was making weird noises as he twirled, did the splits, wiggled his hips and various other moves that were unsettling to watch.

"What on earth is this foolish fool playing at?!" Asked Franziska angrily, readying her whip to put an end to this atrocious dance. Just as she was raising it up, about to give her first vicious lash, her soon-to-be victim pulled out his megaphone and shouted, "SQUIRREL IN MY PANTS!!
This stopped the young von Karma from attacking as she tried to figure out what the hell he was on about. As if in answer, a grey squirrel scurried out from the ex-officer's pants and ran up his back.

Once near his neck, the squirrel bit down hard, causing the man it was biting to let out a scream. That seemed to spur the little creature on more, releasing a barrage of attacks on Meekins. Everyone was horrified, apart from Lang (who thought that this whole fiasco was rather amusing) and Kay (who had started commentating on the match from the stage).
"And we have Meekins from the blue corner taking some serious damage from the red corner's squirrel. I would say that this fight could go to anyone but it's just so one-sided! Oh my! Looks like the squirrel's going in for the pin... 3... 2... 1... KNOCK OUT!!!"
Edgeworth looked at Kay wearily. She's having WAY too much fun. What kind of sick person would enjoy something like this?! Lang let out a chuckle at the outcome of the match. Obviously THAT kind of sick person...

After the commotion had died down a bit and the squirrel had gone back to the tree and Mike had regained conciousness, Kay lifted the microphone to her lips to announce something very important.
"Mike Meekins! Lang Zi is very angry with you as you did not meet his request! That being the case, you are the first one out of the first annual Lang Zi Says tournament! Please join me on the stage and sit to the right on the loser's bench. You are now a spectator!"
Mike was actually relieved. It would be much safer if he was just watching the action. He didn't really think he could win anyway. And so he joined the young thief up on the stage as the first one out to see who would be next to face the horrific (but brilliant) game that is...

Lang Zi Says.

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So we lost Meekins here, it's kind of a shame but I didn't really know what to do with him. I guess he can still get involved even though he's just watching now. Please read and review! Remember, any suggestions you have for the characters Lang Zi Says are welcome. Please review, they give me energy to carry on writing randomness!!
Until next time! ^_^

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