A/N: Thank you Princess Lucille and josephineb for the encouragement and constructive criticism. And as alway, thanks Bean and Dark n' Twisty for being my fabulous editors and even more fabulous friends.


BLAME THE SQUIRREL

a Chronicles of Narnia fanfic

CHAPTER 2: Love Hurts. So do rocks.

Astra pushed through the bushes, feeling them scratch at her arms, her eyes set on a new target: the squirrel of doom. She slalomed through the tall, dark trees, hollering after the squirrel with a hoarse voice. She could feel the dust from the floor rise from her footsteps, getting in her hair, eyes, nose, and face. She splashed through a mud puddle, feeling the wet droplets splatter on her boots, breeches, and cheek.

"Get your fucking squirrely ass back here!"

The squirrel ran, the arrow still clutched in his tiny jaws. He dashed under a pair of trees whose trunks intertwined about ten feet up in the air, with Astra close behind him. Intrigued by the disfigured tree, she glanced up at it as she ran through, causing her to trip over the mangled roots. With a thud, she hit the ground, causing her books to jab into her stomach and knock the wind out of her. Astra gasped for breath and scrambled up, realizing that something had changed in the air, quite literally. The damp, woody smell of the morning was gone, replaced by something more crisp, clean, and warm. The dark trees were no longer impossibly tall and thick; in their place stood brightly colored oak trees and white birches. The ground was even different, more forgiving on her ankles and knees as they pounded the forest floor in pursuit of the squirrel.

Of course, this was all a subconscious realization for Astra, being far more focused on retrieving her arrow than finding her bearings. In a final attempt to escape, the squirrel dashed up a tree, out of Astra's reach.

"Are you kidding me? Are you freaking kidding me?" she wheezed, her throat now more dry and sore than ever. She coughed deeply, feeling it vibrate in her chest. It was then, as she gasped for breath, that she realized that she was completely and utterly lost. "Just drop the arrow," she ordered the squirrel, an edge of desperation and panic edging into her voice, which now resembled that of a pubescent boy. "Drop the fucking arrow!!! Please?" The squirrel's head shot up, glancing deeper into the forest. Astra heard the sound of a stick breaking.

"Hello?" she attempted to call out, but her voice cracked. She dropped her voice to a lower octave and tried again. "Hello? Is anyone there?" From the forest emerged a group of about five men, dressed in breaches and tunics. A couple had weapons strapped to them, some chain mail, or metal helmets.

"You need help?" one asked, with an accent.

"Yeah. I know this is going to sound crazy, but the squirrel stole my arrow," Astra explained. "Wow, I do sound like a boy," she thought to herself.

"The squirrel stole your arrow?" asked the same man slowly, as if trying to wrap his head around the idea. "What an awful thing! Squirrel, you ought to be ashamed of yourself! You have no need for an arrow! I do suggest you drop that now!" With a clang, the arrow fell to the ground.

"Wow, um thanks. What are you, a squirrel whisperer?" she laughed jokingly. Noticing that the men seemed rather confused, she stopped laughing. "Well, thanks again," she said, turning around to leave. Glancing at the unfamiliar forest, Astra turned back to the men. "Say, perhaps you gents know which way is it back to Oxford?"

"Hmm… Oxford you say?" Astra nodded. "You know of an Oxford?" one man asked the other.

"No, can't think of an Oxford. You?"

"No. Say, do you know approximately where it is?"

"I do believe it's back that way… somewhere," Astra indicated behind her. "Aren't you guys from the Renaissance Faire?"

"Faire? We come from no faire!" barked one of the men, apparently insulted.

"I mean no offense, it's just your clothing…"

"What about it?" Astra was about to continue, but knew that she had to get back to school.

"So, do you think if I headed back that way, I will find Oxford? It's a pretty large city, hard to miss, but I was out in the countryside. The trees aren't like these. They're taller and darker… evergreen I believe…" she babbled on in a panic, as the men stared at her with increasingly puzzled expressions. "That way?"

"That way," said one of the men very slowly, "is the ocean."

"Ocean?" squeaked Astra. "Oxford is landlocked. How could I be close to the ocean?" She felt her eyes go wide with panic. Then men slowly neared her, as if afraid to spook her, while she backed up. "I have to get back. I have to get back!"

"Let us help you," said one of the men. "No reason to be frightened." With that comment, Astra sprang into action, taking a step backward to turn around and run. However, she was quickly stopped when yet again, she tripped over a root, sending her falling to the ground. Instead of her hands catching her, her head hit the ground first, landing on a jagged rock. Astra felt sharp pain shoot through her head.

"Son, are you alright? Can you see…?" the voice trailed off, black clouding her vision.


Cliffy! Muhahaha!!!


Sneak previews for the next chapter...

"There goes my breakfast. Or at least half of what it was supposed to be," she muttered. "The squirrel ate my bagel."

"You ate his bagel?" cried the mouse to the squirrel. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

"I was really hungry!" protested the squirrel. Astra scooted back in horror.

"God, I must have hit my head really, really hard, because those animals are talking. Isn't that hilarious?" she laughed. The men once again looked very confused. "So this is what it must feel like to be on LSD… whoa."


Anyway, please review! I'm pretty good about reviewing those who review me.