Nobody's Perfect
'Thought'
'Inner Sakura'
"Normal speech"
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Sasuke does.
Chapter 2: The Intervention and the Interrogator
DS--
"Who's bright idea was it to have a doctor's meeting at four in the morning?!" Sakura raged in her head, obviously, she was not a morning person; she liked the night better, but hated any shift after 3:00
'You know, when they do something like this, something bad must've happened."
'True.'
She finally reached the meeting room; she expected a long table with many chairs placed around it, and all the doctors grumbling about one thing or another. But when she opened the door, all she saw was a single chair in the middle of a spotlight. She couldn't see anything, but she was sure that there were other presences in the room. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sasuke and Naruto stepped into the light. "Take a seat Sakura-chan," Naruto said. She noticed that his eyes were darker than unusual, and as unbelievable as it was, Sasuke looked worried about something. But both looked like they were thinking about something, they just didn't seem all there.
Suddenly, the rest of the lights turned on and the pinkette saw the rest of the doctors standing in a semi-circle, all of them were glaring evilly at her. That or it was the combined emo-ness of (1) Garra, the sleeping disorder specialist, Neji, the head optometrist (2), Sai, the hospital accountant, and Pein, the blood work doctor standing next to each other was giving everyone else a bad atmosphere. Next to Pein was Hidan and Kakazu, they did worked in the morgue, and did autopsies (3). Deidara, the sex change surgeon, was brushing out his bed-head, Sakura really couldn't decide if he was a result of his own job, or a guy who's too feminine for own good. Sasori, the pediatrician (4) was next to him. Zetsu, the self-proclaimed "All-knowing of skin discoloration and the effects of bi-polar-ness" was whispering to his black side. Tobi, the organ implant doctor (5) was staring out through his mask. Itachi, the doctor who took care of everyone who hallucinated was with Kisame, a fluids doctor (6). Orochimaru was standing next to Tsunade, the head of the hospital. Next to her was Jaraiya, the breast implant surgeon (7). Next to them was Hinata, and Temari, head of the nurses. Then Kurenai, head of the x-ray machine, was standing next to her husband Asuma, cancer specialist. Kakashi, burns and scars doctor was next to his husband Iruka, who in charge of the MRI. Chouji, the nutritionist completed the semi-circle of doom.
'What the hell is this, a intervention?!"
'I don't know, but no one's saying anything'
'Lemme have the controls, I'll get this party going."
'Wha…"
"So, what's with the mad faces guys? You look like you had a bite of the world's biggest lemon. And what's with the intervention?
'I hate you' Sakura thought as she regained control of her own body.
"Fuck off, ya shitty-haired-brat! What the fuck crawled up your ass, fucked you, fucked you mother, bit your feces-covered ass, did suicide, causing it to explode?!" Hidan screamed.
"I'll tell you what crawled up my ass and exploded, I've got 22 people here staring me down into oblivion! That's what!" Sakura retorted.
"Okay that's enough you two!" Tsunade called out.
"Alright I guess you're wondering what's going on, Sakura," a voice called from behind the green-eyed doctor.
"Shikamaru, what the hell?!" She asked.
"Over the last six months you've become irritable, easily maddened, and just too much overall. Also over the last eight years you been here your coming to my office had gradually increased, in the last two years; you've made 156 visits, 18 you end up madder than before, 12 you calm down, 30 you fall asleep from emotional stress, and the other 40 you cry yourself to sleep. Frankly, we're all tired and concerned of and for you. Since you barely give us a clue as to what's bothering you, we pieced together what bothers you the most. 73 is about your family, 7 what ever dumb line Naruto gives, 20 your father, and 10 is mentioning anything of anyone's past, childhood in particular. Therefore, we can only assume someone pushed you to the brink on insanity. But, I applaud you for only having a temper as big as Hidan's." Shikamaru explained.
"HEY!" both Hidan and Sakura yelled.
"To deal with this and get some answers about what's bothering you…" Tsunade took over, "Shikamaru's asked an old friend of his to look after you at her house."
"Why her house?"
"It'll be easier over the next six months."
"…S-s-six m-m-onths!!" Sakura tried to make sense of it but it wasn't getting through.
"Yes, over the first months you'll be excused from work unless we really need you. If all goes well, this'll benefit you and our wallets."
"Wallets?"
At that, everyone held up two bottles filled with headache medicine, each had a label saying "10.00 all proceeds to Kohona Hope Hospital"
'Now I know why Kohona had the newest tech, it came from them buying headache medicine to deal with us and our pissy attitudes!'
"How long have you been buying that stuff?" the emotional resident asked.
"5 YEARS!" Everyone answered.
"Oops."
"Well you'll be off now!" Kakashi cheerfully said.
"Now! Why?"
"So you can pack up, here's her address, have a good time!" Kakashi said still pushing out the door.
"Fuck you all!" Sakura called.
"Fuck you too!" Hidan answered for all of them.
DS—
"SHE LIVES HERE!" Sakura said out of amazement. She had four acres of land and the main house looked like a mansion.
'The girl's rich, loaded, swimming in it, lots of money, what luck we have!'
Sakura walked up to the seven-foot door, with a lion doorknocker. She took hold of the circle of the doorknocker and knocked a couple of times.
"Coming!"
'Sounds nice enough, wonder what she does for a living, or what she looks like'
The door subsided to show a woman in a silk robe. It was mainly red, but at the bottom of it, the wrists and the sash was black. The woman was drying off her long platinum-blonde hair; it went down to the small of her back. She had baby-blue eyes, lined with a hint of mischievousness. Knock out curves which the bathrobe seemed to cling a bit, she looked about "5 7' while Sakura was "5 5'. In short, the woman was very attractive.
"Oh, you must be Sakura Haruno, correct?"
"Correct, and you're Ino Yamanaka."
"Right, come in don't be shy! Sorry, I just came out the shower."
Sakura dragged her belongings in and looked around. To the left was the living room, with a couch against the wall, a coffee table, a couch opposite the table, a chair to the right of it, nearest Sakura. To the left of the coffee table, was some couches, which were back to back; one facing the box of the other furniture and one towards the fireplace. The walls were quite different. Up half of them, they were woodened then turned into a normal wall. It seemed to go throughout the whole structure.
"Wow, what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a psyche interrogator."
"WHAT! No wonder they sent us over here, we're dead, she'll get in our head and screw it up, get out of here!"
As she turned to leave the building, she felt a hand massaging her head. She immediately relaxed into the touch as two hands did the job. "Honestly, I've never seen anyone with pink hair, naturally anyways."
"…I know… I'm a genetic weirdo; my dad has red hair while my mother has like, white blonde hair." Sakura went numb in the knees and used what little control she had to walk over to the couch and lie down as Ino kept massaging it. Suddenly, Ino stopped and reached over to the table. She pulled out a drawer and, opened a file with Sakura's doctor license she got when she was ten,
"Hmm, Shika said you hated to talk about your family, didn't he?" Ino said with a smirk.
Sakura gasped. 'Oh fuck! She got me to say something about my family…and I didn't get mad? She's good, I'll give her that.'
'This'll be amusing six months pinky'
A/N: Good lord, another chapter cranked out! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and set alerts on this, now, for footnotes! By the way, It's the last weeks of school so my updating will be slowed, sorry.
This is from left to right, and each job based on what they're like in the series.
optometrist is an eye doctor
like in CSI. Since Hidan is a dead body with life, and Kakazu has stitches that look like stitches doc robins from CSI does.
Someone who checks kids, because he deals with puppets, and kids love puppets
Because he gave Kakashi his eye, why not make him someone who implants? Don't flame because I think Tobi is Obito, it's just my opinion.
This could deal with fluids in the lungs, or blood work.
I couldn't help myself, it sounds like Chuck's friend in Good luck Chuck
