A/N: Little side note the song in this chapter is something that i actually wrote one night working at my other job :) Anyway let me know what you think. Oh right I almost forgot the Disclaimer I don't own any of the characters or themes (But this song is mine)
Your Friendly Neighborhood Mexican
I actually think Astrid thinks we are a couple. She has started to become more open about her ever expanding feelings as she calls. I want to give it all back to her tell her I feel the same way but every time I try I'm always reminded that none of this started until after I almost died, I'm always reminded by everyone every time they complement me that they never gave me a chance they saw me as a hiccup and thus treated me like one never giving me a snowball's chance in hell.
Currently I'm in the forge working on making a new axe, I had no idea who it for but none the less I was going to make sure it was perfect just like everything else I had created. Without realizing it I had started to sing. It was a song I had come up with back before all the dragons and all this Pride of Berk stuff. At the time it described me perfectly and what I was an am still afraid of
"Can anybody in the world hear me screaming,
My pleas are falling on empty ears,
Will no one look up and see my fear
Oh it's wearing me like a second skin,
It' shaking me down to my core and I can't take it anymore,
It's slowly taking over this beast inside of me
Hiccup took a breath before continuing the song unaware that he had an audience.
I'm begging on my hand and knees, will no one help me contain this beast,
Oh it's getting closer to the surface and I can't take it anymore,
Prepare to meet your hell!
Hiccups voice had risen and still he didn't notice his one person audience who now had tears running down her face
You've all pushed me to the edge,
Will no one come and save me from this hell
I can't do it on my own, the light is fading fast,
I can feel the darkness surrounding me,
The Beast is taking over and I've lost all my control,
Prepare yourself to meet the other side of me.
I held the last note for as long as he could and continued his work.
One hour later after I had balanced the axe sharpen it to perfection and made it shine like a diamond. I laid it down on the table where completed weapons were placed. Looking down at it I actually felt happy a sense of pride that I could create this and knew that I could always do this even if only Gobber knew it. I didn't feel happy as much anymore I wish I could feel like this more I like feeling happy I just wish everyone would back off for a bit instead of trying to thank me for every little thing that I did. I was really starting to lose it I was at my wits end and it felt like if someone tells me "oh Hiccup this is the best weapon" or "Hiccup what a great idea" or if Astrid comes up and tries to tell me how much she likes being my friend and being around me I'm going to fucking lose it.
The sun was starting to set and I was finishing up in the forge. Just as I was about close up shop I heard a knock on the window.
Walking over to see who would be, I was greeted to a very loud "Hi Hiccup!"
'Fuck' I thought. It was Astrid but trying to play it off I looked back up at her and replied
"Hello Astrid, what are you doing here"
I tried to sound neutral but I feel like my voice had a hint of venom behind. I did notice that her eyes looked as though she was crying but brushed it off very quickly, Astrid Hofferson doesn't cry.
It must have gone unnoticed by her as she smiled at me and replied
"I'm here to pick my axe Gobber said he would make me a new one since I broke my old one a few days ago he told me he would have done today so I'm here to see if he did." She replied cheerfully.
I looked at her with a bit of confusion before stating
"Well I didn't see Gobber work on any axe today he was just sharpening swords and making tools, I was the only one to make an axe today and its over there on the table."
She looked over my shoulder and spotted the axe she walked over to the table and picked it and with a small gasp. Shifting it from hand to hand and giving it a few swings before looking over the weapon as whole with eyes bigger than a dragon's. She looked back over at me with a look amazement and in a flash she is in my face and kissing me hard like if she let go she lift away or I would disappear. Finally after the need for air became more important than continuing the kiss she broke the kiss and took a step back leaving me in my own state of bewilderment.
She looked back down at the axe I had made and then back to me "Hiccup thank you so much I had no idea you were so gifted."
I think it was supposed to be an innocent comment but all it did was set me off.
That was the finally straw hearing her say that I couldn't hold it in any more all the rage that I ever felt came to the surface and I turned away from her and threw the forge hammer across the room crashing into a rack of weapons bringing tumbling down into a heap a metal. Astrid had yelped in fear at what had just she had no idea why I had just done that but at the moment I didn't care all I saw was red and I wanted to get out of there before I did something I would really regret.
Storming out of the forge and up to my house where hopefully I would find Toothless and I could fly away for a few days to clear my head. A peaceful storming out though was too much to ask as Astrid was hot on my heel asking what was wrong, what happened, can she help. I failed to notice that she was actually screaming it at me and that it was drawing a crowd. 'Great now everyone is really going to be all over my case' I thought. I was almost to the front steps of my house when I felt a hand on my shoulder and twist me around.
Astrid seemed to have had enough and was going to find out what was going on with me.
"Hiccup what is the matter please tell me, let me help you, you can trust me."
Did she really just say that, did she really just say I could trust her?! I started laugh not that it was funny what she had said but laughing as if I was a maniac. It must have sacred Astrid and the crowd as everyone started to back off. When I finally calmed down I looked over to Astrid and stared daggers right through her.
'What the hell, they want to know what the matter with me is fine.' I thought
"My problem Astrid is with you and the rest of this pathetic fucking tribe."
