Mr. Krabs was as dead as a doornail—to begin with. In fact, he had been dead for seven years. The only reason why Krabs' name was still on the "Caesar & Krabs" sign was because Julius Caesar, being a stingy old fart, did not even bother to pay for it.

Julius Caesar was a nasty old man. His hair was white with age, his piercing blue eyes were small and beady, his physique bony and thin, and his face was ravaged by age wrinkles.

Now, old Caesar had a cheerful young clerk named Mickey Mouse. He was warming a piece of coal, when Caesar came in. Mickey chuckled nervously, "G-g-good morning, Mr. Caesar."

Caesar was annoyed. "Mouse!" he shouted, "Why are you using a piece of coal?"

"I was just, uh… thawing out the ink," said Mickey meekly.

Caesar then retorted, "You used a piece last week! Now I want you to get back to your work and stay there!" And so Mickey went back to his work.

Just then, a young man with skin that looked fried and whose blond hair was long and straight. It was Master Toast. He came in shouting, "Merry Christmas, dude!"

But Master Toast's uncle Caesar just glared at him and muttered, "What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough." Toast replied, "Why are you in such a nasty mood, man? You're rich enough!"

Caesar retorted, "Why did you get married?"

Toast answered, "Why? 'Cause I fell in love! Besides, my wife and I wanna invite you to our totally rad Christmas dinner!"

This really angered Julius Caesar, who yelled, "Bah, humbug! Any jackanapes who thinks else should be boiled in his own pudding and then thrown to the lions with a stake of holly through his heart!"

Toast remarked, "Harsh!" and he left, but as he did this, he said to Caesar, "If ever you change your mind, we still have an invitation open for you."

No sooner had Toast left the counting house than two men entered. They were Merriwether Lewis and William Clark (both from Histeria!). Caesar spoke, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

Clark said in a Dean Martin-esque voice, "We have come for some special service." Lewis replied in a Jerry Lewis-like voice, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, with the charity service and the collecting for the poor."

But Julius Caesar, being the old miser he was, just threw a wreath at them, shouting, "Give that to the poor, you beggars!" "Oh, with the pain," Lewis muttered after he and Clark left the room.

Presently, Mickey made a suggestion: "Hey, Mr. Caesar, since tomorrow is Christmas, may I have the day off?" After Caesar thought about it a little, he said (reluctantly), "I suppose, but be here all the earlier tomorrow the next day." "Oh, thank you, sir!" Mickey said happily, "And a merry Christmas to you, o Caesar!" And as Mickey left, Caesar retorted, "And a Bah, Humbug to you, o giddy fool!"

That night, Julius Caesar was on his way home when, as he approached the door, the knocker began to resemble the face of Eugene H. Krabs. Startled, Caesar could see it all, the stalk-like eyes, the crooked nose, those crab-like features. But then, Caesar was a skeptic when it came to ghosts, so he passed by.

However, as he went upstairs, Caesar noticed something strange: he thought he heard some chains clanking. Now Caesar was even more spooked, so he hurried upstairs and barred his bedroom door shut.

Even so, Mr. Krabs still managed to go right through the door, for he was a ghost.

Indeed, Julius Caesar could see the resemblance: the ghost was remarkably alike to Mr. Krabs, except for the fact that one, he had a scarf around his head and chin to keep his jaws closed, and two, he was carrying heavy chains.

Still skeptic as ever, Caesar asked, "What do you want with me?"

"Much!"—Krabs' voice, no doubt about that.

"Who are you?"

"Ask me who I was."

"Who were you, then?" said Caesar, raising his voice.

"In life I was your partner, Eugene H. Krabs." But Caesar still doubted him. "Why do you doubt your senses?" observed the Ghost.

"Because," said Caesar, "a little thing affects them. At my age, a slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheat. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you for that matter!"

Mr. Krabs just laughed, "Nice joke, but that's not what I'm here for. Julius Caesar, remember when I was alive, I did unkind things to the poor?"

Caesar recalled, "Oh, yes, and all in the same day! Oh, you had class, Eugene Krabs."

"Yeah," Krabs remarked, but not before correcting himself. "Oh, no! No! I was wrong! And so, as punishment, I'm forced to wander the Earth until the end of time, carrying these heavy chains for all eternity! I made the chain link by link, yard by yard! I wore it of my own free will! Your chains could be heavier than mine!"

"Oh, don't be so hard on me, Eugene!" cried Caesar, "How can I reverse this?"

Mr. Krabs answered thus, "Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits. Expect the first when the bell tolls one." And with that, he vanished.