Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I do not own an expensive car. I do not own the rights to Gucci's bank accounts either. All I own is an outdated computer and a worn copy of Stephanie Meyer's works of literary genius.

Bella, Edward, Alice, and Carlisle are sitting in the Cullen's living room. Carlisle is watching the news, Alice is debating the finer points of Gucci with Edward, and Bella is daydreaming.

Alice: Everyone knows that Gucci's summer '08 scarf collection is much better than the Chenille summer '08 scarf collection.

Edward: What is the point of a scarf collection in the summer? Summer is usually hot, unless you live in the southern

hemisphere.

Alice: Bella, tell my ignorant brother that scarves can be worn in the summer for fashionable purposes.

Bella: What? Are we going shopping again? Carlisle, PLEASE don't make me go back!

Carlisle: Bella, no one is making you go shopping.

Bella: Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Edward: Don't look so upset Alice. Bella isn't your life size doll.

Alice: Edward if you criticize me one more time, I'm gonna-

Edward: I wasn't criticizing; I was pointing out the truth.

Alice: I will scratch every one of your CDs if you do not get off my case!

Carlisle: Don't argue children. Alice, apologize for being rude.

Alice: Sorry. I'll only mess up your favorite CDs instead of all of them.

Carlisle: Edward, apologize for being antagonistic.

Edward: Sorry. I just can't bear the thought of Alice being so wrapped up in her own little fantasies that she would start

lying to herself.

Alice: At least I can come up with a decent comeback.

Edward: That's your idea of a decent comeback? "I'll only mess up your favorite CDs instead of all of them."

Carlisle: Edward, what did I tell you about being antagonistic?

Alice: Bella, I'm sorry that your fiancé has anxiety, anger, and apparently antagonistic issues.

Bella: What?

Edward: Alice is trying to be funny. She should really do standup comedy. Though, her crowd needs to have a lower IQ level, so that they understand.

Alice: Ha, ha. Very funny. You know what's even funnier? You, when you try to make up a decent comeback.

Edward: See Carlisle, I told you I have a sense of humor. Alice thinks I'm funny. (Alice reaches up and slaps Edward repaetedly)

Carlisle: Enough. Alice, can you please stop slapping Edward in the head.

Alice: Okay. His brain's already mush anyway.

Edward: Is that the best you can come up with?

Alice: Edward, is that line the only comeback you know?

Edward: Even if it was, it seems to be aggravating you.

Alice: Stop smiling or else! (She snarls at Edward)

Edward: Or else what?

Jasper walks through the door, sees Alice standing on the coffee table about to attack Edward, shakes his head and comes to sit on the couch.

Jasper: Is there any particular reason that you're standing on the coffee table, Alice?

Edward: She can't think of a better comeback than "Your brain is mush" so she decided to use violence against me.

Carlisle: Alice, can you please get off the coffee table?

Alice: But, but….

Carlisle: I'm not getting in the middle of this again. Edward, stop sticking your tongue out at Alice. Alice, get off the furniture.

Jasper: I'm out of here.

Bella: Hey! ... There's no furniture under the bed!

Everyone stares at Bella for a moment, and then Jasper runs upstairs. Edward raises his eyebrows and Alice stops jumping on the couch.

Carlisle: Are you okay, Bella?

Bella: Um…. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Edward: Alice, how much caffeine did you give her?

Alice: Um, a couple liters of coke.

Edward: How many liters of coke?

Alice: Seven?...Eight?...Twenty, maybe? I lost ocunt after nine.

Edward: What?!

Bella: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Alice: Oops? (she runs out of the room)

Bella: …JUST DON'T TAKE ME SHOPPING!!

I know this is random, but maybe it'll make you laugh.

I would like to thank Warrioroftheseventhstar for helping me revise it.

;D